Chapter 185 - 185. What You Have to Carry

Heneris and Helgenas.

Or, the two, called the main god and the demon god, are sisters and goddesses contemplating this world.

Among them, Heneris can be seen as a human god. These humans include other races such as dwarves and elves, but they are generally called that because they have different religious beliefs.

Conversely, Helgenas is a demon worshiped by demons.

In summary, Heneris in front of us is good, and Helgenas is evil.

An unidentified space filled with pure white light all around.

A tea party with a being you meet for the first time.

It felt like this wasn't the first time something like this happened, so I calmly sipped my tea.

I don't know what kind of tea it was, but a cup of warm tea was enough to bring peace of mind.

Heneris, who had taken a bite of tea, put down her teacup and opened her mouth.

"You have a lot of questions in your head. I think you deserve it, but..."

As she said, there were many questions.

But the first thing to ask is.

"...Time flies fast, but there's plenty of time to share simple questions and answers."

Before I could ask a question, Heneris took the lead to see if he had read my thoughts.

"And... You're dead. If it weren't for that, wouldn't it be normal for humans to meet and talk to God?"

"...Okay."

Is there no need to ask questions?

When I read her thoughts, she said she couldn't because she was a goddess, but because she felt a little uncomfortable, she answered in a timid voice.

"Then I'll be a little self-respecting."

"Ah..."

Heneris smiled bitterly as she said that, as if she had even read that thought.

'It bothers me.'

Her smile was fake.

"...Why did Heneris-nim come to visit me? Even though I am dead... I wonder why you came to visit me out of all the many people dying every day."

I uttered a question with many meanings.

"Many, many people..."

At that question, Heneris blurted out her words.

Soon, her lips opened again.

"...Do you really think so?"

"Yes?"

"Can you define yourself as one of many, many human beings?"

"..."

"You know very well that you are further from the norm than anyone else."

"Of course I can't deny that, but don't you know Heneris-sama? I'm not from this world."

"Ah, was that a question in that sense? An earthling died, so why did I, the god of this world, not the earth's god, come here... Ra..."

"I don't think there's anything that can't be done, but... When you called me earlier, didn't you call me my child? That part felt a bit odd."

"..."

Then, a shadow fell on Heneris' face.

There is something too

She knew a secret I didn't know.

Heneris, who was caressing the teacup, opened her mouth.

"...Because he was once my child."

"..."

I tilted my head at her because I couldn't understand what Heneris was saying.

Heneris' Airani.

Which means...

"The body is definitely of the earth, but the soul inside it is different."

"...So you're saying I was originally a human in this world?"

"It was. Previous life... Did you say that?"

"..."

Did I have a previous life?

There was nothing strange about it now, but it was not easily accepted, perhaps because I had no memories of my previous life.

"In the beginning, he was my apostle, or saint."

"A saint..."

"You were a colleague of a warrior from the far distant past. The saint, who was saddened by not being able to forget his colleague who was killed by the demon lord, earnestly asked me to break this miserable bondage. I listened... And that was the beginning. The current journey..."

Heneris, who had spattered out her voice weakly with faint eyes, continued to explain.

"You were a saint, you were the king of a ruined country who tried to eradicate the demons by burning everything, and you were also the demons who tried to replace the demon king. However, despite your many efforts, you couldn't break the bondage. It's a disease you're suffering from."

"Wait a minute. You were also a demon... The demon..."

"...The demons, they are under the grip of Helgenas. It was almost a mistake, but you didn't deny it. Rather, you said you might find a way to break the bonds."

"Thinking like that..."

...Will do

Was it desperate enough to give up being human?

I didn't understand it at all.

It also seemed to be a number.

"...In the process, you become exhausted. As a result, you have experienced more deaths than before, and suffered more sorrow. It may have been the limit..."

"..."

"From a certain moment on, you wanted rest. I had no choice but to listen. It was also my greed."

"And that rest..."

"It was life on Earth. But before long, I get unexpected news. It seems that the rest you were looking for was far from it. Life is like that, but I couldn't bear to leave the child I love alone. In the process..."

"...Game. You contacted me through it."

"Yes. I don't remember it, so it might not come to my mind."

"What have you done to me?"

"It gave me back the memories of my previous life."

"But..."

"This is the result you wanted. You said that carrying the memories of your past life would not bring you any good, that you would not be able to move forward..."

Was it like that

It was a very poor judgment.

I think it was like that too.

"Actually, you were given two options. Do you want to erase your memories comfortably and live on Earth? Or will you set foot on the path of Sura to break the bondage once again."

"Heneris-nim is also very mean.

"..."

Heneris's mouth was firmly shut.

For me, through the device of a game, I have formed intimacy with the characters, that is, the people I will meet in advance.

So that they cannot give up.

"To give an excuse, the creator of the game is different. He was the one who recited this plan to me. Well, in the end... I was pretty fooled by his tricks."

"Who is that?"

"He is the god of the earth."

"Were there gods on Earth?"

"Not only on Earth, but in all worlds with intelligence, God exists. It's like the concept of 'manager'."

"But I heard that the Earth is doomed."

"Yes, there are no more human beings who can be called creatures. The god of the earth was also aiming for this. He made a deal with me. If the world where I can stay disappears, I wonder if I can stay in this world for a while... "

"...Something is evil. The earth god..."

Heneris smiled softly at my grumbling.

He didn't seem very offended even though he was blaming God. I wonder if he seemed relieved because he cursed at me instead.

"By the way, you've already met him."

"Have I ever met the god of earth?"

Is the god of the earth

I've never met anything like that.

"I've lost my godhood, so I'm pretending to be a normal human right now. If you look closely, you'll quickly recognize who it is."

Soon after, Heneris calmed down and continued with a calm voice.

"Anyway, I have sinned against you. I promised to give you rest, but I couldn't keep it. I was the person I cared for and loved so much, but I couldn't be too happy to step foot in this world again. All I have left is a deep sense of guilt...The current meeting would be nothing more than an act of confessing my sins. I wanted to know if you would be truly satisfied with your choice even after hearing the whole story..."

"I'm... Satisfied. I think I can understand why I made that choice."

Heneris' eyes widened at my answer.

"I think I should rather thank you. I was able to save Eisel and my colleagues... I was so happy."

Next, Heneris sighs and smiles lightly.

"...It's the same. You."

"Did I feel this way in my previous life?"

"Well, it differs from time to time, but generally. Kindness of taking great care of one's comrades, bold determination of putting oneself into action even if it means sacrificing oneself for the sake of a result..."

Heneris didn't say that and said, 'Well, when I was a demon, my tone was a bit more arrogant than now.' He muttered softly.

"Even if you have no memory, everything remains in your soul. God is not omnipotent. What is engraved in your soul cannot be erased."

I nodded lightly at her words.

Soon after, he asked the following question.

"Anyway, why don't you..."

Aren't you wearing

The clothes were the same though.

"Ah, it doesn't mean much. It's just that it's an item that isn't very necessary for our current conversation. That doesn't mean you wouldn't want to talk to me naked, though... I left the clothes on."

"That's right..."

Talking naked with God... I don't want to.

"Who made this? Eyepatch..."

"It's a collaboration between me, the god of the earth, and you. Even if the soul is from this world, the body is from the earth, so I think it'll take some getting used to. I put in a little bit of my strength, albeit in a small way... Are you satisfied?"

"...It was satisfactory."

I gave a thumbs up for no reason in a trembling voice. It was a very overwhelming performance to say that it was a small power.

Next, Heneris smiled broadly at my thumb.

'Come to think of it, for a conversation with a god who is transcendental, they are carrying on a fairly casual conversation.'

Was she and I that close?

Or is she caring for me?

"Umm... It's both, if I have to ask."

Okay. I'd guess it's both.

"..."

I gently glanced at Heneris, who had read my thoughts.

After taking a sip of tea, I fell into agony.

There was so much information going through my head at once that I needed to organize my thoughts.

The original me, the first me, was a saint in this world... A child loved by Heneris.

And in that previous life, I tried to break the 'bridle' that was eating away at this world.

Bridle.

How the hell am I supposed to break the bridle?

I feel like I have a new goal.

In the past, I thought about what to do after the ending of the game.

It's not my goal, but it's my goal in my previous life, so it's a feeling that I can't just pass by.

"Even if you don't, I have something to tell you about him. These are the words you asked me to tell you one day after looking through the memories of my previous life. He said he found a hint on how to break the bonds."

"...How to break the bridle?"

Listening to the hint, I asked back. What is the hint that I left for myself in the past?

"Become a king. And look into the commonalities between the habits of the demons and the 'game'... You left those words."

"Hmm..."

Become a king.

I haven't been able to reach anything about this yet.

'It's something I've heard before...'

It must have been the earth god who gave that hint to Zeppetti.

Then, what this game and demons have in common.

...It seems that you can vaguely understand the meaning of this.

To be precise, it must be something the player and the demons have in common.

Asmodians become stronger by killing creatures.

The player kills monsters and gains experience points to level up and become stronger.

In other words, the demons and me now were quite similar.

"Heneris-nim. Can I ask you a question?"

"What is it?"

"...Have demons been killing humans since the beginning?"

"You're asking the same question as before."

You asked this before.

That's right, when I touch this thought, I wonder about it.

"But, as before... This is a question that unfortunately cannot be answered right away, as any information about him is beyond my authority."

"...Is that so."

"However, digging through the records of the past directly to find the answer is not a problem. There may be information about him somewhere in this world."

"I understand what you mean."

I needed information about the primordial demons.

If my hypothesis is correct, we may be able to reach a way to break the bondage.

Why do I have to break the bridle?

Is it the feeling that it follows because it is what I wanted in my previous life?

Still, thinking of Ray, the current hero, it seemed right to cut it off.

Resurrection of the Demon King, reincarnation of the Hero.

The confrontation between demons and humans that has continued unbroken.

Heneris did not exaggerate when he said that this world was suffering from a disease.

"In the future, unpredictable things will happen, Jetto."

"...Excuse me?"

"Helgenas is moving. She must have noticed my intervention. Even so, she can't speed up the revival of the demon king..."

"Are you saying that his subordinates, other than the Demon King, can be resurrected sooner?"

Heneris nodded at my answer.

"However, I do not know exactly when."

They are the servants of the Demon King.

Those who are resurrected together with the demon king are the same as the demon king's alter ego.

A great demon consisting of four people.

I never met him in the game, but I know him by name.

"...So that's it. Even so, the right arm of the corps commander died, so it didn't seem like the demons were not taking any action."

"...A lot of things I knew would change."

Heneris' worried voice.

"Haha, I guess so."

I laughed.

A lot will change.

The aftermath of this incident is beyond my imagination.

But Aizel didn't die.

I thought that just defying that fate was a satisfactory result.

"...Looks like we're running out of time now."

Hearing Heneris' voice, he followed her gaze and turned her head.

"They..."

The dark hands I saw earlier were slowly filling the white space.

"The power you imprinted on your body, the dead contained in the tears of the dead."

"...You look distressed."

"Because they wouldn't want to be there either."

"Will they disappear when I resurrect?"

"The soul itself will wear out and wear out and return to nothingness."

Go back to nothing

There was a reason you were suffering.

Because it's sad to be forgotten without leaving anything behind.

"...Then why don't you use only the minimum amount of power to be able to resurrect?"

"If that happens, complete regeneration will be difficult. Is that really okay?"

Heneris, whose eyes were on my left arm, tilted her head.

"It's okay. An arm or so..."

"Then..."

I stopped Heneris from trying to use her hand.

There was a bit of bewilderment in her eyes as she grabbed her arm.

Soon Heneris read my thoughts and lowered her arm.

"I felt that I had to shoulder it..."

"I understand."

"...I'll be back."

End with that.

I took a step toward the dead man's hand reaching out toward me.

***

"I felt that I had to shoulder it..."

"I understand."

I understand.

Heneris understood his thoughts.

Because she loved him for that.

"...I'll be back."

Her child walks away in silence.

The dead slowly strangled him.

Jetto was completely swallowed up in the darkness immediately.

Soon, his voice is heard.

"...I think it must have been very painful. I can't imagine how painful and painful it must have been."

Zeto's voice became choked up.

The pain of the dead was reaching him.

"But I want to create a world where what you went through will never happen again, a world where this can never happen. So... Can you help me?"

Jetto was trying to convince the dead.

"It is very painful to be forgotten. It is empty and lonely. So... I will remember it. I will also remember that name. I will remember it and repeat it over and over again. I will carry it on my back and move forward."

There was kindness and affection in his clear, straight voice.

That warmth was enough to ease the resentment of the dead.

Soon, a light shines on the hand that was holding him.

The darkness that enveloped him was turning into pure white light.

"...It's okay. Others, please rest in peace. Thank you so much for accommodating my greed."

Heneris couldn't hear what was going on between the dead and Jeto.

She didn't even bother to listen.

She was unwilling to interfere with his atonement.

Then Jeto recites his name.

A large number of names resonate in the pure white space.

The meeting with Zeto was now coming to an end.

Heneris, who was watching this, said goodbye quietly inwardly.

'My child...'

The only thing she couldn't say.

The words she couldn't utter due to guilt.

'Now don't ask for your love. Even so, I still want you...'

...I love you.

***

The vast blue sky.

A landscape where you can feel the fresh air.

Touching the tip, the lips of the man with jet-black hair opened.

'The scenery is nice.'

'...Poohyot.'

Laughter is heard at his jokes.

It was definitely my voice, but it didn't sound like mine.

I couldn't help but laugh.

There was no laughter.

Jetto is laughing so happily, why can't I?

"...Lee."

At that moment, a strange sound came to my ears.

"...Glass."

The sound becomes clearer and the memories unfolding before my eyes crumble.

In front of my eyes was a mirror large enough to capture my entire body.

The black color stands out under the finely braided red hair. The jet-black dress gave off a dull and neat feeling overall.

I looked down at the ice crystal in my hand that contained memories of Zeto.

"Yuri, are you ready...?"

I turned my head at the voice I heard again.

"..."

It was my father who called me.

My father, who was wearing a black suit similar to mine, approaches me with a pitiful face and he embraces me.

"..."

Why is my father petting me?

Come to think of it, why did my father come to the academy?

What day was today

I inadvertently reach such a thought.

Okay. It was Jeto's funeral.

Zeto, who was smiling on the deck of the airship, was already dead.

A sweet fantasy just before, this place was reality.

"...Ugh."

Tears well up in pain.

Illusions make reality even more painful.

Still, I couldn't stop.

I wanted to see Jeto.