Before The End

A Broken Man & His 100 Proof

A Broken Man & His 100 Proof

Written by Spidey Williams

This this is his 100 proof of truth, no lies, only the why's and the goodbyes,

The He tried that cries, that lies underneath the rotten soil, that boils like boils,

The Huckleberry Fins and Tom Sawyers, The guilty, the innocent, the judges and all the lawyers,

The just but not fair, the justice that never cares, the fares that adds up, the hurt that never subtracts,

The addition that never adds up, the fucks that never gave a fuck, the shit that, never came out, Constipation

This is His story, this is His testimonial testimony, to understand and over stand,

To be understood, never understands, the tears and sorrow of such a broken man,

The scattered pieces of this man's heart, shattered from the very start, longing, for belongings,

Searching to belong in, dying to fit in, constantly fitting rooms, to fit his room,

In fitting rooms, changing personalities, to adapt to all the constant changing rooms,

Dressing frowns and pain, with smiles that has overcome the rain,

With scars to always remind him he will never be the same

Blames no one, for His constant hurt,

Blames no one who threw His name in the dirt, for He knows his self-worth

He knew His blessings,

The day he was birth and cursed,

He curses no one who has never cursed at Him First,

He knows any day isn't given, and all is never forgiven

He seeks out all truth even when it is forbidden,

He believes all truth is not hidden, only protected, Often neglected, misinterpreted and disrespected,

Slandered and look down upon, He's love's his  twin brother,

Born not of the Virgin Mary, but only of a married Mary merry mother, lucky of him, unlike any other

He knew His death could come any day, so He lives ever day like, like every day should be his last,

His past often haunts Him doing every day, but when He has glimpses of sleep, often dreams at night,

He battles with himself, in a fight that He can never win with anger and vengeance, His heart is to pure,

To not be sure, heaven doesn't exist, then hell can't be real either, for He has experienced both on earth

Why was He sent, in ultimate form of human, but claims to be a God, yet He sins constantly,

Constantly being torn, ripped between God's plan and His time, His time and the Devil plans,

He plans every day, to love like he never loved before, like no one ever lost it, misplaced it, misused it,

Abused it, didn't choose it after choosing it, treating him like an option, never a priority,

Priorities never prioritize Him as His first priority, to love without hate, a distaste for any and all hate,

Wait there's always more to a story, His story cannot be written by anyone other than himself,

So, He must find the scattered time, find, all his lost, misplaced, mistreated, mishandled,

Love & a 100 Proof of His Truth, never diluted, or polluted, a solution His constantly dying resolutions,

His under the radar of a whispering revolution, are beginning to voice their opinions louder than loud,

His truth may not change a world, but it is written, for generations to come, who listens, His words will

Be quoted, after HIS Death as if He was the Son of God, He will prophecy as other prophets,

Has prophesized,

He will speak of His name, as they have spoken of it, He will change lives, touch souls,

Fill voids, others could never feel, open, blind, who believes, and in the end, He still dies with love alone,

You Must Understand

The Chronicles Of A Broken Man!

Not My King "CheckMate"

Have you ever tried actually play chess backwards, backwardly, awkwardly, where the pawn,actually becomes a King in disguise, Where queens, only dreams of a King in her skies, where bishops, only can be beheaded by a knight of lies, on a checkered board, filled with checkers, checking to see, if checkers actually bookmarked, books marked, regularly with checkered flags, check-marked, with finish lines, have you ever found yourself writing blank checks, never meant to be cashed, laughed, when check books are stolen, hoping for a better ending, or praying before the end ends, hoping the beginning actually starts differently, before it ever begins, beginning with the aftermath, after math, does it's own long division, and the remainders, remaining, remains, enough to be reminded, leftovers, are often left over, when left sober, or do you drink, drinking, thinking, thoughts alone, will suffice, for the insufficient, funds, never deposited, to offset, offsetting, mathematical mathematics, never learned, or collaborated, collaborating, long enough to be summed, up in one short subtraction, subtracting, nonsense, from sense, just to make sense enough, to simply make sense into cents, have you ever drunk too much, not to be drunk, or smoked enough, to not ever be high, than realized, there were no cure, to be sure, the pain, could ever be completely forgotten once begotten,forgetting to forget, there's no remedy for stupidity, as the dumber simply drifts off to the dumbest, and best is never left off better off, just better thought, and fights are better fought inside of a ring, where the trained, trains, trainers, never meant to fight, how fair of a fight is a trained Assassin, assassinating, assassins, who never seen true war, how sweet is a victory, never sought by the winner, how wrong is the sinner, who never asked to be born, or how right is the beginner, who were only taught to see to see war to its end,than ask yourself where is the end, or what is a true ending.

Peace Be Still

Where, Where did time go, when just yesterday, when just yesterday it feels, my oldest daughter was born, torn between love for her, and love for me, see, when you think you have nothing but time, minds, can't comprehend, the  hustle, the struggle, between future and history, her stories, hold more weight, than his story, family wasn't supposed to not have a head, a body, can't survive, without it's head, emptiness  wasn't for you, who do you trust, when you can't build together in us, curse words, curse worlds, dreams & nightmares, just stare, face to face, in an endless ponder, yonder, seems, like a long distance wander, wonder if they ever taken the time to listen, tension, is the only mention, friction, becomes your fiction, if you can't handle the heat, then stay out the kitchen, but MRE doesn't seems, a life long supply, when your entire life been a battlefield, friendly fire, seems to be the norm, landmines, every step of my mind, time, commits crimes against self, distance seems, the only protection, for mental health, stealth, is the best remedy, for any survival, primal we become, when love we shun, when 3 or more becomes just one, just one more reason, to lay low for multiple seasons, but when the rain never lets up, and the pain never gives up, until you finally give in, to the love of your pen, foes become friends, as friends crushes toes, the winds blows, as the leaves fall, calls, ceases from coming, and running, doesn't avoid any rain, strange, we fall victim to, what we say we will never, forever, becomes never, ever, wonder why does the thunder comes before storm, and when the storm doesn't let up, how, when, where, how, do you not get sick of the shit, when dehydration, prevents, any further spit, splits, of shifts, began to rip, RIP, we claim for dead situations, no funerals needed, closed caskets, no face, no trace, as white lines, space out, body frames, pictures, could never picture, perfect, mirages, never explained, hearts, break, when the real imagined as fake, fate, becomes a martyr, for freedom, responsibilities, are no longer responsible, for your careless ways, timeouts, can't take time out, without technicalities, intentional fouls, non intentionally, but ejections, seems better off, then rejections, projections, projects, future projects, without a team, to help fulfil your dreams, seems your no longer the franchise player, sidelined, for the rest of your career, now your time is up to play, so what else to say coach!

Another Love Story

I don't Know If this is a lover's story. or just another love story, or simply just an apology, Is It In Love or Just Love, please tell me, I never sold you anything, you were never willing to buy, but every truth, I believe, contain a lie, many a times, i fail to know what to say, it's like closing your eyes, and forgetting how to pray, when you just want to ask for forgiveness, for all the transgressions, you did before today, hoping tomorrow, will bring you less sorrows, when your heart's canals, becomes more narrow by the day, and all you ever want is strength, to make it past today. many a lessons, were never taught, ought, to be common sense, in a since, since, senses, fail us daily, maybe, you're always right, and maybe I'm always wrong, seems, too often, to be the same old song, when all I ever try to do, is just be strong, maybe the ideal life, of being a husband, to a wife, was once a idea, to my perfect life, like, the picket fence, people always talk about, or maybe them to, were simply more lesson, I failed to win too, what lessons should I amend for you, what faults, can I bend back true, when you met me I was totally broken, many words, I forgot to remember, all seasons were forgotten, except for the cold of December, because life, was never a present for me, see, everything, done for me, was done by me, often without any guidance, guardian angels, were constantly bestowed on me, before the age of three, yet death always presented life differently. realistically, was never realistic to me. and guns were number one statistics for me, beautiful often presented itself ugly, so how pleasant, could my heart ever be, when i always waited, around long enough, to never receive an apology, so i often apologize, for all my iniquities, tranquilities, i never learn to express, all I ever wanted was to fill the bottomless holes in my chest, before I lay me down to rest, i never expect love to hurt so much, i never thought my tongue would curse, so much, never thought, to think, what if, when what was, was not love, never thought to plan. a plan, never stopped long enough, to think at all, all i ever did was act, react, if only I would've taken time, to take time, maybe i would've never lost my mind, earlier in time, or maybe i could've learn with time, to protect my heart, my love wouldn't be blind, or maybe words wouldn't be mute, and I wouldn't love as a mime, trying to feel out my feelings, or fill in the fillings, maybe my teeth wouldn't forget how to grind, maybe my stomach could digest, all of life letdowns, or maybe i wouldn't be judged so frequently, on my unexpected frequencies, as a delinquency, but my adolescent, years, made me fight my fears, and hide my tears, my dying peers, gave up their lives, for me to live here, there lack of cheers, and abundance of beers, made appreciate, the little things, peasants, could never enjoy, the finer life of a king, the punches thrown and taken, were never mistaken, the breed, they were breeding, made me the man I am today, taught me to remember how to pray, but the ugly beauty of life, is although you can't make your wrongs right, rightfully, you can mold your wrongdoings, righteously into something more beautiful than your life, in your life, with your own death

$3M$ MultivatingMasterMinds

Here I stand, as I AM, whatever you proclaim me to be, I am He, If I denied it, would you be convinced any way, every day, I try in every way, to be better, today, then I appeared to be the day before yesterday, when every other looks a lot different, differently, do you  drip, when faucets, can't sustain, your substances, metal erodes, as thorns, pierce thru your outer shell, as you shapeshift, into this beautiful rose, from concrete, you have emerged, after being buried and submerged, I strongly suggest, and highly urge, you brace yourself for this surge, purge yourself from, cut off all limbs, branching off, to numbness, become what you love, not what you learn to hate, make, everyday going forward, stop looking back, act first, before you react mad, be someone teacher, coach, professor, before you become a dad, learn to write your personal feelings off and away, get back something for all the years of life, taxes never wrote off, you're still living, prove it, do something great again, be remembered, other than in December, give a gift, without expecting a return, and watch what returns, returned, Currently Presence, Presents, Presently, presents 

In These Live.Me Streets

The Voice of the people I've been black labeled, black labels, want to sign me, label me a prodigy, they ask me where I started my career, reply live me, for the life of me, the life of me, from the hood to this lively, lovely, welcome, to these streets of live me, where dreams are discovered in beams, where teams, are developed and studied, where drama, comes from head to heads, or and future baby mamas, presently, isn't always pleasantly, when goals need to be reached, teach one, preach on, unleash one, one one, then make it to two,two plus two, makes 4, or more I ask, what is the answer for you, did you forget about all the other numbers added, without ever being substracted, wasn't even long division, yet, someone became a remainder, reminding, you, it's not what you heard, but what you didn't, hear, pay attention too, who gifts you, who do you owe, tell me what level were they when they dropped it like's it's hot, who live.me, blocked me, who block were you on, tell me sell , me recharge for me, help me reach my goals, take my number one, as I make them two, now how many has been mentioned, without being mentioned, but number 3 was number one, son, New York, New York, but not New York, NOT Newark, no New Jerseys, New Jerserys Ghost wears oftens, Not Just Huskies, The, The, Thee, Who is He, No FAM of mine, I still shine, but shout out to Conneticut, although that Prophet Blind, fine, punch buggy, no punch back, punch backs, always illegal, unless you share the same name of me, then all pain, is fair in the boxing game, I speak often, but don't give speeches, to coffins, no eulogies, but prophetisized, prophetsies, never my best attribute, speaking to the newly, dead, newly wed, congratulations, did live me fuck you first, thirst, who is worse, the recharger, or the non convert, who has the larger purse, personally, you can't blame one or the other, honestly it's neither, because, realistically, you thought you were a baller, shot caller, but called the wrong play, TIME OUT, get out, but why you mad, are your pockets hurting, or simply your ego, who's now is the hoe, no i didn't say your name, but someone feels your pain, just not me, next subject, who are you, where are you on my diamond board, then again what is your government name, how many children do you have, or had, now question, how many of them know you, love you. consoles in you, if any, not many, please, we may have more in common, than you can ever believe, conceived, trust me, I understand, unfortunately, I was birthed a Man, never responsible, enough to raise a man, yet I always said i wanted to, but never thought of raising a queen, when your mom was a king, married a king, who teaches a king to be, how to not be a King, and who teaches the future king, on how to seek a queen, greet a queen, treat a queen, everyone shares the same dreams, yet many never see each other visions, your brother isn't my brother, and mother isn't your mother, so why bother, my brother, we people, have learned from the best, but followed their worst, worth differently, not better, better bother, to bother, or your brother, forgets he's your brother, mother forgets about both sons, because they weren't born , daughters, slaughter is another name for massacre, but raised Christians, but learn amonst, society, devil worshipers, who started in trap house kitchens, cooking up recipes to further, demolish, all constuction, destruction, is always your first choice, never caring about any remorse, i remorse, for all, because I can't save them all, barely one, rarely two, so who will save themselves, who is strong enough to save self. because for the life of me, people lives are impersonating live me, and the life of me, will be talked about among all broadcasters, and future live me broadcasters, to come, all the friendly ghosting caspers, as laughters, fill the air, silence feels the air, live me.... I can speak about all day, but anyway, I have more diamonds, to go make, what's your goals in life, live me...

B4 You Speak

Be 4 U Speak, observe be 4 you listen, pay attention to the little things,

without a mention, notice the twitch before the thought, the slight movement, before the reply,

the truth be fore any lies, lean not on your now understanding,

liens ought be paid, off if not upfront, before you die, no repos allowed, don't ask why,

in this life sunshine, still brings rain clouds, aloud I say loud, to the massive of clouds,

make the extra effort, go the extra mile, let not a smile, be your end goal, even if hole in one, learn one, teach one, reach one, preach to one, before you just release one

Be 4 U Speak, watch, watch their itch, watch what palms the touch, watch who lips blush, what lips they lick, let's see what comments or eyes instantly rotate to cliques and dicks,

What comments come straight from the gutter, what personal feelings they already utter, when they stutter, would you introduce him to your father or mother, tell me what you feel, be real, trust me with your archillies heal, chill between my comfort and your friend zone, make a chysallis, on mental lobes, until you're ready break free, you butterfly my home,

who's wrong who's right, before you walk away, or stand not to fight, before you lay yourself down at night, let me know what do i do right, what do you prefer, not what past referred, how do i get back right, write, recite, don't just take flight, might i need your might, might i not be strong for you for one day, just for once, please be strong for me, i don't want to die wrongly,

I don't want to be a player no more, but I don't know how to be a fair ref, refereeing, the emotions, stirring around all the potions, lotions, lather, later, favors, never ask of or ask for,

Before you listen, listen, to the calm before the storm, before you close your eyes to pray, just be thankful for a day, a day, to get upset, and a day to calm down, a place of safe, haven,

before you walk away, learn to just stay, appreciate the anger and self control, control self thoughts of distrust, trust, trust us, that we want the same, but can't or wont follow the yellow brick road, together in pain, flames, seems like a better off, heat later, for ice cold now, a favor,

Savor, every step of the way, be just thankful when you pray, say thank you, for everything,

not just for nothing, something, is better off than anything, anything, hold more weight, than absence, nothing isn't valued as anything, but yet it's everything, to nothing, don't be two faced,

Told, not to ever search for a wizard of oz, but a prophet of God, instructed to listen to the hypocrites, until they stop being hycritical. do what you have to do for residual,

trust, only the comma's not the individual, so typical, why did I even asked you before i thought to think, not to think or question anything before i did my own research, paper done, Before i ever finished, wow what a waste of time, if only i would've of before I.... maybe I could've, maybe I should've, but I did before I did, I just lived.