Chapter 10
And she had no clue about anything going on around her. did she even love Jack? or Rou? or anyone or even herself?
She just wanted to escape but meeting Maria proved to be a good thing even though it could totally not have been. She talked to Maria about all that had happened to her and all the weird things that she experienced.
If it were to be someone else other than Maria, she somehow knew that that would've not been so easy for her to flow to.
She was keeping her distance from Jack but that vision that she had was now taking it's root in her mind as a nightmare. Everytime she closed her eyes she'd see Jack with another woman, the blinding lights in all the blinking colors and hues. And now Jack's face was haunting her.
She wanted to do something about it but she knew that there was really nothing that she could do. Only if she remembered her past, not the whole life, even just the day she lost her memories might've helped.
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Lili was getting ready to go to the hospital to meet Rou and take care of him. She was thinking of some sweet gestures she could present him with. She realized that she didn't really know him, so she didn't know what he liked and what he didn't. She opted for some flowers and chocolates as a visitation gift.
Maria had been staying away since Rou knows her as Lili's close friend and not as his mistress.
Lili was getting ready and preparing everything for hospital when she saw the album she had taken out some weeks ago out laid on the living room table, she thought that she should put them back into the basement.
She took them with her to the basement and when she had put them into the box, on her way back she bumped into a box and it fell down.
She scouted down to pick up the things and there she saw a diary with her name on it, actually it wasn't one diary but a whole stack of diaries by the name of LILI but one in them fell and opened on a page that read "So I had a sister...."
She wanted to read the diaries but she knew she couldn't, she had no time for that, not right now. But she also knew that this line was going to follow her everywhere she went.
She took the box upstairs in her room and chose to leave and read once she came back.
She left for the hospital.
She reached there and took all the things that she had brought for Rou but on her way She bumped into the very familiar figure.
Jack was there probably to meet her and she was trying to avoid him but she just couldn't not anymore, not when he was standing right in front of her and saw her with all the flowers and chocolates, she had brought for Rou.
She got scared for a second because of the nightmares she had been having. But she knew all too well that Jack was a sensible person and knew better to treat her right.
She couldn't run away any longer so she decided to tell him everything and share all her burdens with him but for that she needed to know if he wanted to withstand this storm like situation with her.
"Lili... Please Stop Running.. We can.... figure this out... ok... let's just sit and talk... no matter what you decide.... I'll be here.
All the time when you were avoiding me, I asked myself of all the reasons why I feel the way I do, why do I..... I... Love you....?
I don't know, maybe you just do love people you are meant to love, people your soul would just travel times and spaces for. I don't know the reason but my soul does."
Jack poured his heart out on Lili and now she was crying. She too didn't know why she liked... no maybe loved Jack so much.... why there was this magnetic pull between them... why she just loved him... she sure didn't know about anything that was going on with her, in her life or around her.
She was sure though, that now she definitely had Jack with her then she will surely figure things out. She might've not had any idea of the love between them but she sure knew Jack meant something more than Rou ever did to her.
She told him everything, they talked and Jack wanted to stay, he had already made it clear to her. She wanted him to stay. They knew it wasn't going to be easy for them especially for Jack to see the woman he loved, be with someone else and act like their wife but he was willing to do it for the sake of their mutual feelings for each other and also because for the time he was away from her and she didn't reply his calls or reached out to him or avoided him, he was losing interest in things, things that had become his only purpose to live, he was losing interest in all of these once important things and the only face that lingered in his mind was of her's. He didn't want to go through more sleepless nights and miss seconds that he could spend loving her.
She went in with the things she brought for Rou and Jack stayed outside.
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○•▪︎♡°•.○●.•°•.~°•.•°Lili's POV°•.•°~.•°•.●○.•°♡▪︎•○
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A beautiful day indeed, the world looked like a blossoming flower, full of sweet fragrance and my inner world too had some ease to it now. I knew that Jack wanted to stay and I wanted him to stay as well.
In situations where you feel alone without a navigation system, all alone sailing in the ocean of life where storms are a frequent and you have no recollection of yourself or the world outside, having someone who is willing to love you makes everything so much more tolerant than it could've been.
It was a sunny day, the sunlight was making everything look aesthetically nostalgic. I opted for the stairs because it had big windows on the sides, the orange and yellow hue light was reflecting on the tiles of the stairs and on the metal railings.
It was beautiful but with every step I took, there was this feeling in my stomach that made me uneasy about all this. I was his wife after all and we still hadn't gotten divorced yet or never really had a chance to talk about any of this.
He... Rou.... was a good guy who took care of me, from his point of view he was taking care of his wife whom he had stopped loving and so his wife was just a duty to him because he had someone he loved. Maria.... She was a good woman and knew a lot about the past Lili, after having a good talk with her, all I could get was that the previous Lili was a very ambitious woman, a very successful one as well, had a whole brand made, and not that her rich parents got that for her, she did it on her own.
She was someone, my heart said that I wasn't. There was something inside of me that kept telling me that I would never have been that woman.
She also said that I had issues, mental issues..... that because of those mental issues I was on medication but those medicines seemed not to have been working and that even if I forgot all my past those mental issues were not something that could easily leave my brain unless some miracle happened, which she believed did, and I became someone completely different.
I didn't know how was that even possible. But she didn't seem like making things up to fool me. She meant what she said and I needed to figure out what had happened and how even? All the things that I had been through and was going through, didn't seem like something normal or ordinary.
"Ma'am, are you here to meet someone? May I help you find them?"
Someone spoke from behind. which made me come out of my trance into the present and I was already on the floor I had to be on. I looked for Rou's room and found it.
Before entering I looked in from the glass on the door and He was awake and wasn't alone. Someone was with him. They were two people whom I hadn't met before. I went in and they turned to look at me, I was confused I didn't say anything.
The woman and man both looked old and seemed familiar but I couldn't really recall. My brain was trying to just analyze and come up with a greeting when Rou spoke....
"Lili, I know things aren't always right between you guys but wouldn't you even say hello to your parents?"
Oh... So the people standing in from of me were my parents whom I didn't get along. Could they have had anything to do with my mental issues?
I stepped forward and hugged my mother and father and greeted them, they seemed as shocked as Rou was and surely I didn't get why but it seemed like they surely might have had something to do with my mental health issues.