Wish We Had More Time, I Would Have Loved You My Way/Chapter 8

She left me with those last words, but my heart wasn't content with them.

I felt a little lost....maybe a lot cause I should have know she wouldn't wait for me as I waited for he because she didn't know who I was; never for once told her about my intensions towards her.

Am so stupid, really stupid..... stupid, stupid. So stupid of me to think she was all mine.

I left the company with sadness written all over my face as we got into the van, my teammates could see the disappointment written all over my face. Why won't they, they witnessed what happened too.

I needed to rest my head when our manager drop us off at the apartment I was so in a haste, once we got up stairs I went up to my room I didn't want to be a distraction but that couldn't be so when it's a shared room.

Jemmy walking in as quietly as he could not trying to disturb me but truth be told, right now I didn't care less

"You heard what she said, right? I feel stupid" I told him as my mind wondered around

"You shouldn't; how could you have know. Love blinds one to so many facts....the fact that you never thought that her being in a relationship could be realty.....just proofs how much you heart longed for her; it's not something you should borden yourself with, it actually common" he told me as I got up from my bed sitting up right.

"And remember she said: that she would talk to you again because she believed that your conversation shouldn't end there... don't borden yourself with other details cause the fat remains, if she didn't like you enough she wouldn't have made such statement or spend those time with you. You must be in her mind as she's in yours" he told me with a reassuring smile.

"Cheer up, the room keeper bought a lot.....lot of stuff. Lee Bin's cooking we should go eat before Star eats our share" tapping me on my shoulder as he leaves the room.

But his right though, she wouldn't make such statement if I wasn't in her mind. I could see back then she wanted to stay but found it difficult but I have to patiently wait for our next encounter and also wait for her next words.

But I really wanna see her, she had her natural curly hair out; they look really good on her, I want to touch it, I want to touch her so bad.

Something feels tight in my trousers, looking down.....fuck it, am hard. My body seems to react aggressively at the thought of her. I really don't want her to see me this way, she would think I was a pervert.

I smiled like a menace at the thought of her, shit this is wicked.

Okay, I should take care of this before heading out for dinner, don't wanna have a boner in front of my teammates.

After dinner I wondered around the balcony as I was struck with inspiration. I couldn't stop writing and I loved it.

Everytime I thought about or have a glimpse of my experience with her it's like an inspiration beacon and it keeps pouring out; is this what what it means to be inspired.

Bow...bow

"What is that?" I said out loud as I looked around the room with Jemmy no where in site

The room a bit dark as a shadow goes over the window and pulls the curtain wide open.

My eyes hurt from the direct impact of sunlight "Aww, close the curtain, it's blinding"

"You slept late didn't you?" Jemmy spoke out

"Just close the curtain" I yelled at him as I threw the pillow at him

"Come get breakfast before Star eats it all...you know I feel like you're ungrateful with my constant reminder of what Star can do with other people's food, am being a real helper here..." he was saying trying to sound helpful as he made a funny expression, I threw another pillow at him

"Get Out!" I told him as he left the room in a haste

I hard murmuring in the background "Long night?!" Dae-Hyun asked Star.

Their voices slowly faded away with the heavy sunlight piercing rough the window, my mind couldn't help but wonder "Will I ever get to see you again"

That afternoon after rehearsals, we went out for a group photo shoot I couldn't concentrate, I was constantly distracted and it seems to have been noticed by the director.

I was called to order, told to focus; how could I, "I wished we had more time" I told myself.

<<Wish We Had More Time, I Would Have Loved You My Way>> maybe than she would come to love me, the real me who's; lonely and afraid, terrified of losing the one's I love.

If only we had more time, if only.