Chapter 184
It was only six months, maybe more if the weather's poor.
Hydrangea's feet had been pacing her bedroom floor for the past ten minutes, her mind still staggering from what he'd said.
And tomorrow? How had he gotten everything prepared in time? How would they survive six months apart?
She shook her head. They could do this, he seemed to be confident, she could be too. Her steps became more determined as she paced. The rain had become more violent, mirroring her emotions. Lightening struck somewhere distant and the following thunder rumbled on the horizon.
A knock startled her from her pacing and she looked to the door. Her heart pounded. If he was leaving then why couldn't he just leave? It would be easier without a proper goodbye, or maybe it wouldn't be.
Her cheeks heated when she remembered Bastian's half-hearted attempt at suggesting they make love as a goodbye. That just made it all the more heart-wrenching and confusing.
"Come in." She called and walked towards the door.
Relief flowed through her when she saw it was only Alessandra.
"Hello, dear. How are you?"
Hydrangea resolved to tell her how she actually felt, "I don't know." She whispered hopelessly. "I know-I understand his reasoning. I do.. but… we've been through everything together. Everything. And for him to just leave like this… it doesn't feel right."
Alessandra nodded understandingly, "I know it doesn't. It'll be alright, dear." She walked forwards and they sat down on the edge of the bed. "I have to say, I have never seen my son so passionate about anything, or anyone. When he first started writing me letters about you, I had a feeling he would choose you. He seemed very intrigued by you. And very upset" she chuckled, "He was furious you had no respect for him."
Hydrangea managed a small smile, when they'd first met, she'd not wanted to be within five feet of him, and now she wanted to sail across the ocean with him.
A dry laugh escaped her lips but she could find no words to say.
After a few moments of silence between the two women, Alessandra went on, "And now… after all these months, I see a man who has grown to love his wife, with his whole being. I can see it in his eyes, Hydrangea. He looks broken inside."
Hydrangea stared forward helplessly, "I'm sorry, but, how does that help?" She didn't care about her bluntness, she had a feeling Alessandra wouldn't care.
The older woman smiled, "He's just as tormented to leave you as well, Hydrangea. Don't think for one second that my son does not love you."
Hydrangea looked at her and felt the sting of guilt. His mother had seen right through her.
Alessandra reached over and rubbed her back, "It's alright, dear, it's only natural to feel doubt. You're still very young. But take it from me, that boy has never looked at anyone the way he looks at you."
Hydrangea bowed her head as a spark of happiness went through her.
She patted her back gently and stood, "You should come see him before tonight. He's going to get very upset. Ever since he was old enough to begin training and studying he would get this tunnel vision that leads to temper tantrums. I doubt he's grown out of it."
Hydrangea nodded, "I don't think I could see him." Just the thought of it… what would she say? There was no point in it. They would say their goodbyes tomorrow and she would not see him again for six months.
She felt a tear drip from her eye and sniffed.
Alessandra's heart went out to the poor girl. She sat back down and pulled her into a side embrace, Hydrangea relaxed and rested her head on her shoulder.
They sat quietly for a few minutes, the silence finally broken my Hydrangea. "I suppose it's hopeless, isn't it? There's nothing I can do about it so why cry?" She stood and smoothed her skirts, facing away from the Queen Mother, she continued, "Why waste tears when he won't change his mind?"
Alessandra raised her chin at the girl's thoughts. They rang with truth, but were rather fatalistic.
Standing she picked up the book she'd left beside her on the bed, "Well, I hope you do decide to see him. But, if not, then here's that book."
Hydrangea spun around and her eyes widened at the sight of the familiar book.
"Oh, thank you." She replied as she took the book.
Alessandra smiled, she didn't have to read it if she didn't want to. "I'll take my leave now." She said and patted her hand before walking out of the room.
Hydrangea nodded absentmindedly and walked to sit in a chair near the window. Timir-mask was still providing light during the day, the sun shining behind the rain clouds.
She glanced up at the flowers Bastian had given her that were now sitting on the table. It warmed her heart, he'd tried to cheer her up a little. And they really were lovely. A smile came to her lips as she once again imagined him choosing and picking the flowers for her. It truly was the sweetest thing he'd ever done for her.
She sighed and looked down at the book in her hands. She doubted she could find answers to her current problems, but it might prove an interesting read.
She wasn't going to wallow in her frustration or grief, not while he was still here. She grew more determined the more she thought about it; if she acted strong enough, he would believe that she was. And maybe it would be easier on him.
Alessandra's words had weighed heavily on her. She was being too selfish.
With her thoughts still distracted, she opened the book.
The first line read, 'Male and Female'.
She bit her lip but pushed herself to read the lines following it.
(Author's Note: I really wish that I could use italics on this site, but alas, I cannot. So, I will be using apostrophes ☻)
'The art of loving a person, wether it be male or female, is a complicated matter. Love is made up of multiple different elements, some of which are shown through care, responsibility, respect and knowledge. These elements are shown through many different acts. May it be vocal, physical, sexual or emotional, love is being demonstrated. Being in love is never a certain thing, so you must do your best to hold onto this love, and this person. In this book I have comprised the knowledge of many different cultures on ways to keep your love strong in all aspects.'
Hydrangea's interest was piqued as her eyes trailed over the last sentence.
She read the afternoon away, hardly noticing as the sky darkened.