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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

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241 Chs

An Experienced Senior.

Two more people rushed in with their trunks behind him shouting, "Move out of the way!!!!"

Loki dodged them just in time to have them collide with the now solid pillar and crash onto the floor.

*HOOT* *HOOT*

The owl that had been thrown around in its cage screeched loudly to show its displeasure but Loki caught the cage out of the air and helped it and the bird inside it gain some sense of stability.

As the boys righted themselves Ron was the first to speak.

"You!! What did you do!?" Ron accused and caused Loki to frown.

"What did I do?" Loki asked with an accusatory glare.

"You're a Slytherin! Obviously, you did something!" Ron said in anger.

"How do those two things equa- you know what, I don't care enough about you to argue with you. Good luck getting to Hogwarts." Loki said and walked towards a secluded spot on the platform.

On his way past them when Loki dropped the cage he was carrying onto a trunk that belonged to the boys, Loki heard Harry whisper, "I think you shouldn't have done that Ron."

'At least one of them has brains…'

'Wait, should I swindle something out of them..?'

'Nah, there probably wouldn't be any digestion benefit since they're not even Beyonders.'

'But Harry….'

Reaching a secluded spot, Loki used magic to open his trunk and levitate a pen and a parchment that he used to pen a letter to Snape.

"That should do it." Loki read the letter he had written. It was a simple letter that only had a single line, it conveyed everything in it.

'Greetings Professor,

I'm stuck outside the platform, the gates seemed to have closed five minutes early for some reason.

Your loving and favourite student,

Loki.'

After reading through the letter for a bit, Loki decided to add a little more information.

'It's better I write about them too, who knows if they'll be able to find their way otherwise.'

And so, Loki squeezed in the line, 'Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are also stuck outside.'

As soon as Loki finished his letter, he freed Rowley and the excited owl immediately landed on his shoulder, nibbling on his ear affectionately.

'Ha…aren't you already better than the fat Niffler that does nothing but eat?'

Loki handed the owl the letter and asked it to deliver it to Professor Snape which the owl gladly did by flying into the sky and after moving a certain distance away it tore into the Spirit world to shorten the time it took to make the trip.

'Now we wait.' Loki thought as he stood by in a shaded region of the platform, at least until he spotted something ridiculous out of the corner of his sight.

'Wha-'

There was a blue Ford Anglia flying through the sky.

'What in the world.' Loki finished his cursing as he realised what had happened, "Don't tell me they chose to fly to the school in that!?" Loki mumbled to himself. "Crazy kids."

After a while, however, with nothing to do at the station, Loki found himself staring at the various passersby, where he caught sight of a person he normally would not have.

"Lockhart?" Loki mumbled, "Did someone send him to help me out?"

'No, Rowley wouldn't have reached Professor Snape yet.'

'Then did he miss the train too?'

Unfortunately or fortunately, Lockhart looked right in Loki's direction and as if evaluating something he gave Loki a bright smile and walked toward him.

"Are you also a student of Hogwarts?" Professor Lockhart asked.

Loki nodded while standing up. "Yes, I was locked out of the platform since the doors closed on me before the time was up.", Loki said.

"Hahaha~ Do not worry! I've seen such things happen a lot of times before."

"Before? Are you a professor at Hogwarts?" Loki asked while trying to pretend this was the first time he was seeing such a person.

"Yes! Let me introduce to you your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher…me. Gilderoy Lockhart! Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five times winner of the Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award! But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him."

Loki stared at the man wordlessly, his mind freezing as he heard the list.

'How did he fool everyone so perfectly!?'

Loki's eyes shone.

"Professor! Teach me!!! Teach me how to be like you!!" Loki looked at Lockhart and asked his deepest desire instantly.

"Haha~ Of course I will! But I cannot be partial towards the students of Hogwarts. You just have to refer to my new book! The Magical Me!" 

'Wow! He even plugged in his new book. He's so shameless!' Loki thought with his eyes shining.

'He truly is a great senior with a lot of experience!'

"Now tell me, do you need help?"

"Un." Loki nodded silently, wondering what solution the fraudster in front of him would cook up.

"Don't worry! I can take you to Hogwarts with me!"

"Are we going to apparate?" Loki asked with a frown since he remembered how queasy he felt after it.

"You don't have to be afraid!"

For some reason, Loki felt he couldn't trust Lockhart's apparition. It felt as if his intuition was warning him about being swindled by someone.

"Ah! Professor, there are two other kids that were stuck outside like me. Could you help them too?"

"Two more?" Lockhart asked with a strained smile.

"You can apparate with two more students right?" Loki asked sensing Lockhart's hesitation.

"...Why not?"

"Let's go to the parking lot. I saw them leaving to go there." Loki said and dragged Lockhart with himself.

Unfortunately or fortunately, Loki and Lockhart arrived at the scene of two confused and angry parents arguing.

"I told you to leave a muggle-repelling charm on the car! But no! You didn't listen to me!" The woman shouted.

"I promise!! I did!!!" The man tried to convenience the angry woman.

'Redheads? Ron's family?'

"Excuse me miss." Loki said and grabbed the lady's attention.

As soon as she turned around Loki asked her a question, "Miss are you perhaps related to Ron Weasley?"

The lady's eyes widened as she nodded, "Yes! And you are?"

"I'm Loki. A student in their year-"

"Let me take it from there young adventurer." Lockhart interrupted with a smile.

"Lock- Lockhart!" The woman squealed.

"Yes! That would be me!"

"I saw you during the book signing! Do you remember me!?"

"Mrs. Weasley right? Of course, I remember you!" Lockhart said calmly shaking her hand.

"What is it Mr. Lockhart?" The man asked stepping closer, disliking his wife's fanboying over the other man.

"I heard your son was left behind on the platform."

"Ron? Did you not help Ron board the train Arthur?" The woman turned around and asked with a frown.

"I thought you did!"

"I was busy helping Ginny! This was her first time!!"

"And I was busy keeping the twins in check!"

"*Ahem*" Loki interrupted with a polite cough, "Mam did Ron and Harry not come here?" Loki felt Lockhart flinch beside him for a second, but ignored it since he didn't understand why he did so.

"Where are they!?" The woman asked immediately and turned towards Lockhart.

"Do you by any chance own a blue flying car?" Loki once again asked.

And the two Weasleys fell silent with the man wearing a pale expression while the woman's expression slowly turned into a furious one.

"How do you know?" Arthur Weasley asked wondering if what he feared the most had come true.

"Well, I saw it fly over the station a while ago." Loki finally said.

There was a short pause and then Lockhart immediately said, "I can help them out! I will catch up to them and take them to Hogwarts while returning your car!"

"How?" Loki asked wondering what the fraud one was going to do to bring them back.

"I shall fly too!!!" Lockhart said dropping his suitcase and pulling out a broom from inside it.

Loki looked at him with a puzzled expression and asked, "What about me?"

Lockhart looked at him and said in a calm tone, "I could leave you at school, but it would be a shame for you to miss the experience of flying with me! So you can fly too!" pulling out another broom.

Loki was unconvinced and was about to reject the offer, wanting to just be apparated and be done with it but, surprisingly, Loki felt another wave of mind control pass over him, but as soon as it did, Loki entered Cogitation by rubbing his finger on his thumb to weaken its effects.

But the Weasleys weren't spared as they both looked at Lockhart with admiration. Even Mr. Weasley was looking at Lockhart like an object of worship.

'They're not Beyonders? Even though they belong to the list of pure-blood families of Britain?'

'Or are they just pretending?'

"Thank you for doing this for our son and Harry!" They said holding Lockhart's hands.

Loki pretended to fall for Lockhart's Beyonder item as he shouted, "Yes!" but inwardly he wondered, 'What's his plan? Why did he say he wanted to go stop them on a broom?'

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