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How to love a sociopath

Love.... What is this emotion that you speak about... Does it even exist.... To me?.... I'd never forget the day she smiled at me after I asked her why she was the way she was, I remember her asking me if I could handle it, if I could handle her...I laughed and look away from her eyes in moments like this, her confidence overwhelms my heart, so I crumble and and look away before I collapse. "I'm a sociopath...." She whispers making my neck snap back to her searching for that joking smile or laugh but she just raise a brow and struggled to hold in a laugh. "Ha see I told you, you can't handle me Khalid, stop wasting your time not that I mind though" she mutters before looking back up at the sky and sliding her eyes close probably due to the beautiful wind that caresses our being. For some weird reason I was unable to say a word but instead I just stared as her face that was now exposed due to her laying down on her back, every time she says those words I'm speechless, and she feels the need to remind me every time about her diagnosis, even though I want to pretend that it does exist, I guess this is her own way of caring, telling me how dangerous she could be...I probably should listen but I can't- "I know what you are thinking right now....I would not waste my time trying to defend myself nor would I try to proof to you about how am a good human being and blah blah blah, this is just me, emotions don't exist to me but transactions of self gratification do...if you don't like me then I dare you to walk away" those were the words she said to me the first time she ever revealed her diagnosis to me while staring up at me with her beautiful gummy smile. as if what she had just said to me was nothing big, as if it wasn't something that could make a human run far far away from her being, as if it was not something that could make me neurotic, and I don't know if I'm just plain stupid or not right now, but my feet still refused to move no matter how heavy the word that escaped from her lips felt against my being, I didn't move.. not even an inch, as my brain yelled at me to leave, Run and to flee, because these are the very people my parents told me to stay away from when I was younger they gave the word danger the meaning it has today,for they were the complete nuisances and deviants to society, or at least that was what everyone said simply because there is still currently no cure to this type of wounded minds in which these specific section of people possess, so of course,it's better to stay away from them right?, right?. But maybe she herself knew that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't walk away from her while being entrapped in my emotions and being enchanted by her beauty. I've heard from people that love always tend to make one weak and indeed she already has me on my knees and she knows it and I guess that's the scary part of it, maybe that's why she dared me walk away, with her cold eyes captivating me in a trance along with her beautiful smile, perhaps I'm stupid...because this was a very clear red flag, but here I was ready to sign myself up for that. "Pleasure to meet you once again" was all I said in reply giving her a goofy smile making her raise a brow at me, with a thoughtful look on her face before she smirked and shook her head..I wonder what she was thinking about right now... probably about how stupid I am or even more..that's one thing I've always disliked about her..it's almost impossible to read her but she knows how to read everybody within 3-5 minutes max, she reads the room like it's the back of her hand in her calculated mind...and then she goes on further to block you out with her beautiful innocent yet cold big Brown eyes..with her calculated gaze which still surprisingly able to make you feel comforted, understood and safe. And What a big mistake it is to believe that she cares about you enough to keep you safe when to her the world and relationships are simply all about what she can gain.

Wanderers_Concept · perkotaan
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11 Chs

Woah, what's wrong with her?

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Chapter one - Woah, what's wrong with her?

"If you feel like you're about to suffocate always try to break out of the ocean floors and change your location" -anonymous

"Ah Finally!" She exclaimed upon hearing the sound of the bus finally pulling to a stop after what felt like forever. Her butt literally feels almost numb from sitting still in the same position for 8 hours on her journey to Carmel city, 6 hours in the flight, two on the bus to a city where she has never been too before, because it doesn't hurt to try new things right?. She thinks to herself, it's funny how sometimes you just choose a random city simply because you want a change in the environment.

Crystal steps out of the bus with a satisfied smile on her lips, "so this where I'll be spending some of my youthful days it seems or not", she thinks to herself with a grin as she stared at the busy street which was buzzing with teenagers scrambling about, adults doing the same probably trying to get back home from their jobs. She had just recently gotten transferred into the university here in this city to study biology for the next 2 years....interesting right?.

oh well!, that's not as important as her goal though she thinks to herself as she steps out of the bus sighing, stretches her body for a bit before her eyes catches a glimpse of a familiar face walking away from the bus with which she had arrived in, the person had both of his air pods plugged in, so not only couldn't see but even if she screamed he won't be able to hear her voice...now isn't that annoying...?.

She moves out of the window seat, pushing past people who yelled God what at her but she didn't care, she had her attention set on not losing the said familiar face from earlier on, she dashed from the bus stop in a rush, trying to catch up with the male who was deaf to her actions "but oh how fast were his feet!" she thinks to herself as she sees him increase his speed.

Ugh, at the pace that she is current walking, she might hardly be able to catch up with him, so almost instinctively, she picks up her pace almost like a predator that was chasing a prey, or in her case perhaps a desperate being, she must have not being paying attention to her surroundings because before she could blink, she hit what felt like a wall that was on her path, which made her vision go dull for a minute, dizziness hits her like a brick and she loses control of her feet, falling backwards unto her butt hard.

Oh how her head hurts...why in the world wasn't she paying any attention to the walls and the trees, that in Carmel city definitely do exist.

"Hey miss, are you okay, I'm so sorry I didn't quite see you there-" a voice started to say out of nowhere making her to look up with a glare,as her vision began to clear up once again, and there stood before her a brown skinned male who didn't look any older than herself, he had the most intense set of hazel eyes that she had ever seen, he looked down at her with a guilty sheepish look on his face while holding out a hand to her, as if wanting to help her get back on her feet but she didn't have time for this, nor for whatever it was that he wanted to say, so she ignored the hand which was reaching out to help and jumped on her feet by herself, totally ignoring the concerned stranger, as her eyes searched and scout around the busy streets as if in search for a certain person totally ignoring the one that stood beside her now trying to grab her attention. She lets out a groan in frustration after realising that she had lost him;the guy she met on the bus,what a disaster this journey has suddenly become.

"Uh hi, as I was saying earlier I'm so sorry, I hope you are not hurt, I wasn't quite paying atten-"

"Can you just get lost!!, can't you see what you caused!" she yelled out in frustration while staring at the young lad before her, with the anger clear on her face, ice in her voice that didn't match her petite body, making him flinch, wow, now that's unexpected I mean sure he bumped into her but the anger she carried felt like he had committed murder instead but before he could say anymore to her, the girl stormed away angrily at a hurried pace, almost as if to tell him that she couldn't stand being with a waste of space.

"Woahhh, what's her problem?!" the male mumbled to himself before letting out a shrug, as he started to make his way into the comic store in which she was initially blocking him from while putting his phone back against his ears

"Hello mother" Khalid says absentmindedly,

"Khalid, thank goodness you are alright, I was worried for a second-" his Mom starts to rant making Khalid let out a sigh...he really doesn't have the energy to deal with an hysterical mother right now, his head hurts from the encounter from earlier on.

" Mom of course I am fine, relax, I just bumped into someone cause I was on the phone with you on the streets" Khalid confesses with a sheepish smile on his face knowing exactly what it was that would be coming next.

"Goodness Khalid, how many times have I told you to put that goddamn phone away especially when you are on the street" His mother yells, making him pull the phone away from his ear for a bit, her voice was so loud that it almost rendered him deaf.

"Mom you were the one who called me, I couldn't just ignore it" He complains.

" Well you should have, goodbye" his Mom states angrily before hanging up out of nowhere making the boy let out a sigh.

"Mom, are you seriously mad at me bec-" Khalid started to say before he heard the sound of the call hanging up making him let out a chuckle, well that's his mother alright!. He probably has to call her later to apologise about putting his own life in danger, his Mom was not very fine with him moving all the way to another state to acquire a degree in the first place, but it was what he wanted so she let him go at the end but she still feels like he is not safe, so yeah he has an angry mother on the side as if the incident from earlier on with that strange girl with dead yet blaring eyes that almost seem like it was made from flames wasn't enough; It's not like he had intended to bump into her in the first place, he genuinely had not seen her running there, he was lost in the conversation he was having with his Mom over the phone which he wanted to apologise with a cup of coffee or maybe perhaps take her to the hospital if needed in case she had a concussion because the fall was pretty hard but then she yelled at him like that...ah ladies...and their mood swings that could last for days, oh trust him he knows how they work he has 4 elder sisters so he has seen it all.