GIRLFRIEND

As she drove off the school grounds I wondered if I was being hard on her. She was trying to help but then again the time I needed her to be there for me.

How did she expect me to just snap back as I had never tried to have a relationship with her? I had tried so hard to the point where I had gotten tired of trying. It's like I was always invisible to her and that was not good for a kid.

I had always wondered if there was something I had done wrong for me to get that kind of treatment from my mother. I had not forgotten all the lonely days I had to spend at school functions hoping that each time would be different and she would at least show up.

Did she know how much damage she had caused me?

How much it hurt seeing other kids lighten up the moment they saw their parents. I wanted them there with me but it always felt like they had more important things to do other than raising me.

I played dress-up with my nanny when it was supposed to be my mother there with me. She was more of a mother to me than my mother ever was. So no I did not feel bad nor did I think that I was being hard on her.

She had never put me first for all those years that I needed her. I needed a mother and she knew that but she still did not give me that.No matter the amount of life I got from my nanny it would still not be like the kids had mothers.

Mothers would do anything for their kids. It's like once they gave birth everything they did was all go to their kids. In my case, it felt like I was a nuisance. I had destroyed her life.

I was more of a mistake. Something that they had not planned about but we're too scared to just reject me.

Maybe she was not ready to have a kid or she never really wanted to have a kid. A mistake that she had regretted.

I wanted to be the kid they loved but I had realized that no matter what I would do nothing would change and I was okay with that. So there was no way I would forgive all those years of trauma just because she had decided to be a mother once in her life.

We were supposed to have a mother and daughter relationship but all we had was a stranger-to-stranger relationship.

She did not even know my birthday and I still had to act like it was okay. How was that okay. I wanted to have the relationship those kids in Hollywood had with their parents. What was do hard with parents being loving?

Was I not a good kid? I had amazing grades and had never gotten in trouble but they never saw that. I wanted them to be proud of me for every little achievement that I got but I never did.

Waking up every day and finding myself in the same house as yesterday was traumatizing. The days I lay awake crying myself to sleep they were never there.

My only companion was a bottle of liquor. Woke us with it the following morning and that was how I had spent those days not with my mother on my side.

"Keira", calls someone as they bring me back to reality as I realize that I have been standing stuck go the same place from ten minutes ago.

I could recognize him anywhere even if it was at night. With his sharp jaw and slicked hair. He looked like he was straight from a mafia movie.

He was wearing all black and I could see every girl staring at me waiting for me to hug him as he opened his arms waiting for me to embrace him.

"Hey Lorenzo",I say as I hug him smiling. It's been a while since I last saw him. The memories I had with him were things I would rather not think about because they were to es when I had the best orgasms.

"I thought I saw someone else, could not imagine it was you. I have never seen you since that day you just left when I was sleeping without any explanation", he says as he looks me over not even trying to hide it.

"I did not think that we had something to talk about it was just a night of passion and I thought I said it would be better if we just had fun and forget about each other ", I say chuckling as we start walking to the lecture halls.

"You could have at least stayed for breakfast, you left like I had chased you away", he says looking offended.

"Well am sorry if I offended you it won't happen again ", I say. I could not lie I had thought about him more times than I could accept. If I had his number I would have contacted him but I did not and I was not about to start acting like some crazy psycho bitch and stalk him on social media.

"It can happen again, I want to see you again", he says as some bimbo bitch comes to where we are and looks at me and turns her attention to her.

From the way she looked at me it was pretty obvious she was into Lorenzo or was her girl and if she was it was a shame because he fucked around.

"Hey babe", she says with an over chirpy voice it hurts even to listen to her.

"Hey Loise", says Lorenzo looking annoyed.

"Who's this ?" she asks looking me up and down.

"My girlfriend, now if I was you I'd get my hands off my chest", he says and I can't stop the smile that creeps up my lips as I watch her face turn to annoyance.