Chapter 1

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HIGH ON LOVING YOU

Chapter 1: Revisiting a Cherished Melody

The warm May sun beat down on the dusty streets of my small hometown as I hurried along the familiar path to the town square. My heart raced, but not from the heat or my brisk pace. Today was the annual town fiesta, and I knew he would be there.

Reinvon. Even thinking his name sent a flutter through my chest, a feeling both comforting and frustrating in its familiarity. But I pushed the thought away, reminding myself sternly that I wasn't here to rekindle some childhood crush. I was here to be with my family and to see my birth place, how it became and kung ang mga tao ba dito ay nag bago or hindi. Pero sa pinakasulok ng utak ko parte pa din talaga siya sa rason kung bakit umiwi ako. I was also here to understand, to unravel the mystery of why this man I barely knew still held such sway over my emotions.

As I rounded the corner, the festive sounds of the celebration filled the air. Children laughed as they chased each other around colorful banderitas strung between lamp posts. The scent of grilled meat and sweet rice cakes wafted from food stalls lining the square. I inhaled deeply, allowing the aromas to momentarily distract me from my nervous anticipation.

Eight long years had passed since I'd last set foot in my hometown. Eight years of chasing my dreams in the city, building a career as a teacher, establishing myself as someone independent and accomplished. To fulfill my duty to my family, to give them the life they deserve especially my parents who really did their best to give us the life we deserve. I was full scholar during highschool and college, so it's a big help sa finances namin lao na't malayo ako sa kanila. But despite that I excelled academically, graduating Summa Cum Laude with a Bachelor's Degree in Secondary Education major in Science. But every May, without fail, a part of me longed to return, to celebrate this day with my family and bask in the nostalgia of my childhood.

"Maria? Maria Kirstein Mendiola, is that you?" A voice called out in disbelief. I turned to see a vaguely familiar face waving enthusiastically from a nearby stall.

I squinted, then my eyes widened in recognition. "Margie? Ay Diyos ko, I can't believe it!"

I hurried over to my old friend, who immediately enveloped me in a warm hug.

"Ang tagal na! How long has it been?" Margie asked, holding me at arm's length to look me over.

"Eight years," I replied, a hint of guilt in my voice. "I've been so busy in the city, building my teaching career. This is my first time back for the fiesta since I left."

Margie nodded understandingly. "Naku, ang dami mo sigurong kwento! You must have so many stories to tell. Oh, but where are my manners? Here, try some puto bumbong. On the house, for the balikbayan!"

As I savored the sweet treat, Margie peppered me with questions. "So, you're a teacher now? Ang galing naman! Are you married? Kids? Boyfriend?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "One at a time, Margie! Yes, I'm a science teacher. And No to all the rest. Ikaw? How have you been?"

"Ah, same old, same old," Margie replied with a wave of her hand. "But have you heard about Reinvon? He's a town councilor now, and rumor has it he's planning to run for mayor next election!"

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Reinvon's name. "Really? That's... impressive."

Margie leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "But you know how people are here. They're saying he might have trouble winning because he's still single. Remember how Tita Lourdes lost the election a few years back? People here really believe a mayor needs to have a family to truly understand the town's needs."

I nodded, remembering the town's traditional views. It was one of the reasons I had been so eager to leave for the city. "That seems a bit unfair, doesn't it? Judging someone's capability based on their marital status?"

Margie shrugged. "That's just how it is here. His family's reputation might help – his uncle is the current mayor, after all. But still, people talk."

As we chatted, I couldn't help but let my eyes wander, scanning the crowd. And then I saw him. Reinvon stood across the square, shaking hands and chatting with a group of elderly residents. He looked different – more polished, his posture exuding confidence. The years had been kind to him, and I could see why he'd be a popular political figure.

Margie noticed my distraction and grinned knowingly. "O, nakita mo na siya? Why don't you go say hi?"

I felt my cheeks grow warm. "Ha? N-no, I don't think that's a good idea. We weren't really close back then."

"Sige na, if you say so," Margie teased. "But you know, maybe you're just what he needs. A successful, beautiful wife from the city? That could really boost his image."

I laughed, but it sounded forced even to my own ears. "Margie naman, don't be ridiculous. I'm just here for the fiesta, not to play politics or chase after old crushes."

I made my excuses and moved away, finding a bench beneath an old acacia tree. From here, I had a clear view of the square without being too obvious. As I watched Reinvon work the crowd, my mind drifted back to that day in fourth grade – the day that had set my heart on this confusing path for the past decade.

The memory was vivid, transporting me back to a time when life seemed simpler, yet infinitely more dramatic. I was nine years old, my prized possession a worn notebook filled with handwritten song lyrics. In those days before smartphones and readily available internet, such notebooks were treasured by anyone who loved to sing.

It was snack time, and most of my classmates, including my cousin Jelai, were outside playing patintero. I sat alone, frustrated. I had the lyrics to "Pangako" by Regine Velasquez written in my notebook, a song I'd recently added to my collection. But try as I might, I couldn't remember the melody.

Determined to figure it out, I clutched my lyrics notebook to my chest and headed outside. I spotted Jelai among the players and called out, "Jelai! Paano nga 'yung tune nung 'Pangako'? I can't remember how it goes."

Jelai paused the game momentarily and hummed a few bars. Suddenly, the melody clicked in my mind, perfectly matching the lyrics in my notebook. Excited, I began to sing, completely forgetting my surroundings:

"Kung tunay man ang nadarama mo

Mayron akong nais malaman mo

Ang aking puso ay iyo, iyo

Wag sanang lumimot sa pangako

Pangako, hindi kita iiwan

Pangako, di ko pababayaan..."

It wasn't until I reached the chorus that I realized the patintero game had stopped. My classmates were staring at me, some with amusement, others with curiosity. And there, right in front of me, was Reinvon Heiz Sardova, watching me with intense, curious eyes.

My voice faltered as I became aware of my audience, especially Reinvon's gaze. My cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, but something in Reinvon's expression kept me from looking away.

The spell was broken by the giggles and teasing that erupted from my classmates.

"Uy, Maria! Kinakantahan mo ba si Reinvon?" one girl called out.

"Ang sweet naman! May nagmamahal kay Reinvon!" another boy chimed in.

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. "Hindi ah! I was just... practicing," I stammered, but my protests were drowned out by more teasing.

Reinvon, for his part, looked slightly embarrassed but offered me a small smile before turning back to the game.

That moment, as fleeting as it was, planted a seed in my young heart. I hadn't thought of Reinvon that way before, but now, faced with my classmates' teasing and the memory of his intense gaze, I found myself wondering. Did I like him? Did he like my song?

Back in the present, I shook my head, amazed at how vivid the memory still was. "Grabe sad, Maria," I whispered to myself. So dramatic. And yet, here I was, years later, still holding onto that moment. But why? We had never shared any special moments beyond that day. We had never really known each other deeply. So why did this feeling persist?

As the afternoon wore on, I remained on my bench, a quiet observer to the life swirling around me. I watched Reinvon mingle, noting how easily he moved through different social circles. The son of a respected family, he had always been at ease in the spotlight. Now, as a politician, that ease seemed even more pronounced.

"And here I am, still hiding in the shadows," I murmured. I thought about my own life – my job as a science teacher in the city, my nights spent dreaming of a different life, one where I was brave enough to chase my deepest ambitions. One where, perhaps, I could understand these lingering feelings for someone I barely knew.

It wasn't that I had never had admirers. In fact, quite a few men had shown interest in me over the years. I was intelligent, kind, and I'd like to think, attractive – a combination that drew attention. But for reasons I couldn't fully explain, I had never felt a connection strong enough to pursue a relationship. No one had ever asked me out directly, and I had never encouraged anyone to do so. It wasn't that I was hung up on Reinvon – during my eight years away, I had been focused on my career and personal growth. I had even developed crushes on other men. But somehow, none of those feelings had ever quite measured up to the lingering warmth I felt when I thought of Reinvon.

This realization made me pause. Why did I still feel so strongly about someone I barely knew? Our interactions had been limited to classroom settings and brief encounters around town. I knew his family was influential, but beyond that and a few cherished memories of small kindnesses he had shown, I didn't really know Reinvon at all. So why did my heart still flutter at the thought of him?

The sun was beginning to set when I finally stood, stretching muscles stiff from sitting too long. As I prepared to leave, a familiar melody drifted from the stage. The opening notes of "Pangako" filled the air.

I froze, my eyes automatically seeking out Reinvon. For a brief moment, our gazes met across the crowded square. A flicker of recognition passed over his face, there and gone in an instant as someone called his name. Did he remember? Did that day mean anything to him at all?

Heart pounding, I turned and hurried away from the square. The song followed me, a bittersweet reminder of a crush that had long ago blossomed into something more complicated. I weaved through the crowd, mumbling apologies as I bumped into people in my haste to escape.

As I walked to my family's home in the gathering twilight, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted. The brief eye contact with Reinvon had felt like a crossing of timelines – past and present colliding in a single glance.

"Pastilan," I sighed, reaching the front door. What am I doing with my life? How long would I let this childhood crush define me? And now, with Reinvon potentially running for mayor, any interaction between us would be scrutinized by the entire town. The questions swirled in my mind, demanding answers I wasn't sure I had.

I stepped inside, immediately enveloped by the warm chaos of my loved ones. My mother bustled about, insisting on feeding me ("Anak, you're too thin! You need to eat more!"), while my father beamed with pride.

"So, Maria," my father began, "tell us more about your life in the city. Masaya ka ba? Are you happy there?"

I smiled, touched by his concern. "Oo naman, Pa. It's challenging sometimes, but I love my work. My students keep me on my toes."

My older sister, Richee, chimed in from where she sat nursing baby David. "Naku, Maria, you should see how Papa brags about you to everyone in town. 'My daughter, the science teacher in the big city! Summa cum laude pa!'" she mimicked playfully.

"Ay, tumahimik ka nga," our father grumbled good-naturedly, but his proud smile betrayed him.

Malvin, sprawled on the floor with his engineering books, looked up. "Ate, do you ever think about coming back here to teach? The schools here could really use someone like you, especially with your background in science."

I hesitated. "I... I don't know, Mal. I haven't really thought about it."

"Hay naku, leave your Ate alone," our mother scolded gently. "She just got here. Let her enjoy her vacation first before you all start planning her future."

As the conversation flowed around me, I felt a warmth in my chest that had nothing to do with the balmy evening. This was what I had missed most during my years away – the easy banter, the open affection, the sense of belonging.

"O siya, may itatanong ako," Richee said suddenly, a mischievous glint in her eye. "I saw you at the fiesta earlier. Did you hear about Reinvon? He's planning to run for mayor, daw."

I groaned internally. Of course my sister would bring this up. "Richee naman..."

"Ay, oo nga pala!" my mother exclaimed. "Mabait na bata 'yun. Gwapo pa. But you know how people talk – they say he might have trouble winning because he's still single. Such a shame."

I bit my lip, unsure how to respond. The politics of our small town suddenly felt very real and very complicated.

As the night wore on and stories were shared, I felt a sense of unease creep in. Yes, my heart still fluttered at the thought of Reinvon, but now there was more at stake than just my feelings. The entire dynamic of our potential interaction had shifted.

I leaned back in my chair, lost in thought. Perhaps this visit home was about more than just revisiting an old crush. Perhaps it was about reconnecting with myself, with my roots, and finding the courage to fully embrace both my past and my future – whatever that might entail.

As I was about to excuse myself for bed, my phone buzzed with a message. It was from my old elementary school classmate, Jenny.

"Maria! Don't forget about the reunion tomorrow! Everyone's excited to see you. 4 PM at the old school grounds. See you there!"

My heart skipped a beat. How could I have forgotten? The elementary school reunion - of course, Reinvon would be there.

I quickly typed back: "Thanks for the reminder, Jenny! I'll be there."

As I lay in bed, my mind raced with possibilities. The reunion would be a perfect opportunity to catch up with old friends and maybe, just maybe, reconnect with Reinvon. But more than that, it was a chance to revisit the place where it all began, and perhaps, to finally understand these lingering feelings.

Morning came too quickly, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of my old elementary school. The familiar buildings brought back a flood of memories - some embarrassing, some cherished, all a part of who I'd become.

"Maria Kirstein Mendiola, is that you?" a familiar voice called out. I turned to see Mr. Santos, my old grade 5 adviser, now the school principal, walking towards me with a warm smile.

"Mr. Santos!" I exclaimed, genuinely happy to see him. "It's so good to see you, sir."

He enveloped me in a fatherly hug. "Look at you, all grown up and successful. I always knew you'd go far, but a science teacher in the big city? You've made us all proud."

I felt a warmth spread through my chest at his words. "Thank you, sir. You played a big part in that, you know. I still remember how you encouraged my love for science."

Mr. Santos chuckled. "I just nurtured what was already there, Maria. Do you remember that science fair project you did on plant growth? You were so excited about it."

I laughed, the memory vivid in my mind. "How could I forget? I nearly flooded the classroom trying to water all those plants!"

As we walked towards the reunion area, Mr. Santos grew more serious. "You know, Maria, we've been having trouble finding qualified science teachers here. Our students could really benefit from someone with your expertise and passion."

I looked at him, surprised. "Are you offering me a job, sir?"

He smiled. "Let's just say, if you're ever interested in coming back home, there's a place for you here. Think about it? You could inspire the next generation of scientists right here where you started."

Before I could respond, he glanced at his watch. "Oh, look at the time! You should head to the reunion. I'm sure your old classmates are eager to see you. We can talk more about this later if you're interested."

As I made my way to the school grounds where the reunion was being held, my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. Could I really come back here? Leave my life in the city behind?

Old classmates greeted me warmly, exclaiming over how much I'd changed (or hadn't changed). I scanned the crowd, my heart racing as I searched for a familiar face.

And then I saw him. Reinvon stood across the courtyard, chatting with a small group of our old classmates. He looked different - more mature, his jawline sharper, shoulders broader than I remembered. Yet something in his stance, the way he gestured as he spoke, was achingly familiar.

Our eyes met for a brief moment, and I felt a jolt of recognition pass between us. He gave a small, polite nod in my direction, but made no move to approach. I returned the nod, feeling a mix of relief and disappointment.

As the reunion continued, Reinvon and I orbited each other like distant planets, exchanging glances but never quite coming close enough to speak. The weight of our shared history - or lack thereof - seemed to create an invisible barrier.

It wasn't until near the end of the event that we found ourselves inadvertently next to each other at the refreshment table.

"Hello, Maria," he said, his voice deeper than I remembered. "It's been a while."

"Hi, Reinvon," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. "Yes, it has."

An awkward silence fell between us. I searched for something to say, anything to break the tension.

"So, um, how have you been?" I asked, wincing internally at how cliché it sounded.

"Good, good," he nodded. "I'm working as a town councilor now. You?"

"I'm a science teacher in the city," I said, fidgeting with my cup.

"That's great," he replied, his tone polite but distant. "You always were good at science."

Another silence. I could feel the years stretching between us, filled with all the things we didn't know about each other.

"Well, it was nice seeing you," Reinvon said finally, offering a small smile. "Take care, Maria."

"You too, Reinvon," I managed to say as he walked away.

I watched him rejoin his group of friends, feeling a strange mix of emotions. The interaction had been brief, awkward, nothing like the dramatic reunion I had imagined so many times. Yet somehow, it felt fitting. We were practically strangers now, our connection little more than a shared past and a song that still echoed in my memories.

As I prepared to leave the reunion, my mind was buzzing with questions. What did I really feel for Reinvon? Was it just the idea of him I had been holding onto all these years? And what about Mr. Santos' job offer? Could I really consider returning to my hometown permanently?

I realized that this visit home was turning out to be about much more than just revisiting an old crush. It was about rediscovering myself, reconnecting with my roots, and perhaps, finding a new path forward. I wasn't here to jump into a romance or chase after Reinvon. As a dalagang Filipina, raised with traditional values, I knew that wasn't the right way. Instead, I was here to understand my feelings, to figure out why this man I barely knew still held such sway over my emotions.

As I walked away from the school grounds, the distant strains of a familiar melody caught my ear. Someone was playing "Pangako" on a portable speaker. I smiled to myself, remembering the shy, dreamy girl I once was, and feeling grateful for the woman I had become.

Whatever the future held, I knew one thing for certain: I was ready to face it head-on, with the wisdom of my experiences and the strength of my roots. This was just the beginning of my journey to understand not just my feelings for Reinvon, but also my place in this town and in the world.

[End of Chapter 1]