Chapter 9

After I walk out of his unit, I decided to go directly home. I'm trying to focus on the road. My hands are trembling while holding the steering wheel. I get off my car. Instead of going inside my apartment, I decided to walk around clearing up my mind and calming my nerves. I went to a playground near my apartment. I look above the night sky, and I smiled faintly as I get mesmerized by the beauty of the stars.

"Late night walks and stargazing are truly beautiful," I murmured.

"Yeah, It is" I looked behind me to see who owns this familiar voice and I saw someone who I least expected to meet this time. "It's been a long time." He added as he walked toward me. He took his time to look at my face, and I try not to look unpretty because who would like seeing an ugly-looking frog?. Okay, I'm not good at making jokes, so forgive me this time. He stopped walking and locked his eyes on mine. I guess my eyes are still swollen because of too much crying and when I saw him, I feel like my eyes start tearing up again. I want to tell him and complain about how hard it is for me right now. I want to cry in his arm and share what pain I am going through as he gets closer to me.

He stretches his arms to my face to wipe away my tears and I can't help myself but hug him tight and cry out loud in his arm. He let me cry my heart out while he hugged me. He never said a word, just patting my back.

"I'm sorry, I dirtied your clothes," that's what I said while still in his arm.

"Don't worry about it," he said, then patted my head. I guess I'm still lucky to know that there is someone who's with me this time, even if it is just pure coincidence. "Have you calmed down?" he asked. Then I nodded and lean my head on his shoulder. "Good, let's go, I'll take you home," He said as dragged me out of the playground.

A moment later. We arrived at my place, then he entered my passcode and we come in. I go directly to the sofa and sit. I decided to close my eyes and think about what should I do now. I heard him sigh as he seated beside me.

"shall I take you out to have a drink?" he asked.

"Can you just buy a drink and let's drink it here. Please," I answered without opening my eyes.

"Alright. Wait for me here." He said.

I sense that he's not here now and I'm so f*cked up. How can I explain to him what happened to me?. While I was driving, my phone rang tons of times so I decided to check it and I saw tons of missed calls and messages from Xander. What a jerk. I decided to ignore him.

*A few minutes later*

"Here's your beer. I know it's your first time drinking. Don't drink too much," He said while giving me an open can.

"Can you stay here for tonight? I want to get drunk"

"Alright, I'll stay. So while we're at it. Tell me what happened?" He asked seriously.

"Nothing,"

"You're not a type of girl who will cry for nothing. Tell me honestly you have two options. You'll tell me or you'll tell me," he said in a firm voice. I guess I should answer what he asked. /sigh/

"Alright I'll tell you" I started telling him our story, and when Xander tried to please me, I reminisce a lot of our good memories. I told him how good he is, how he told me he loves me as I drink the beer.

I drank up the beer straight to start the story of why I am like this right now. I began telling him what I heard with my trembling voice. I looked down and tears starts to run down my face. I told him that all of those good things he did for are just for a bet. I looked at him and I can see his eyes darken. I can tell that he's mad.

"My heart is hurting. I love him so much even though sometimes I am doubting my feelings for him! But what I felt was true! So tell me? Do I really deserve to be treated like this? I hate being weak like this! I hate you seeing me in this position. I don't want you to see me like this, but I can't pretend in front of you since you really know me. You can sense if something is wrong with me!!. But still, above all, I'm thankful that I am not alone tonight"

*Next morning"

I woke up all gloomy, as I felt a sharp pain occurring in my head as soon as I opened my eyes. Guess it is what a hangover feels like. But believe me, this pain is much better than what happened last night. Last night was a nightmare. I bow my head when I remembered what happened again. I felt that tears are streaming down my face and my heart began to tear up into pieces once I'm trying to think of it. Beer sure work temporarily. I put my palm against my face and tried to stop myself from crying. Well, this is so stupid! I'm such a fool for believing him. This is a consequence of trusting other people. I need to accept it.

My door swung open and I immediately wipe my tears away. I tried to stay still, not moving much because when I move I feel like my headache will worsen. But it still hurt as f*ck. I looked at the person who was standing at my door.

"I finished cleaning up our mess last night," he said. "How are you feeling? Can you stand? Well, never mind. I'll just bring you here some hangover soup. You just rest" He added as he walk out of my room. Even though he said that I decided to stand up and go out of my room as I walk, I feel like someone digging a hole in my head. I endured the pain as I walked toward the dining room. There I saw him preparing our food. I walk toward him and hug him.

"I told you to rest in your room. You really don't listen," he nagged, but he still hugged me back. I smiled because of his gesture. "I heard your story last night. So what will you do now?" He said calmly, but I can he can't hide the hint of anger in his voice.

"I'm okay. Don't try to do anything else," I said, but he glared at me. "Yeah yeah. I'll answer you honestly. No, I'm not okay. HAPPY? But don't worry, I'll be," I replied, assuring him.

"Well, it's a good thing. I know that you will get over it because I know you're strong. Get rid of that unnecessary feelings. He's not worth it," I looked at him when he said that. I can't believe that he's the one who said that. I didn't realize that I was smiling at him.

He raised his eyebrow. "I really hate dealing with someone who has a broken heart that I didn't even break. "

"You're such a cruel guy. You just hurt my feelings," I said while putting my hand on my chest pretending I'm hurt.

"Just shut up and let's eat. Is your head okay? You didn't hold back in drinking last night. "

"Well, I didn't hold back because I know a certain someone will take care of me," I answered cheekily.

"So who's crueler on us?" We laughed as we continue to eat.

It feels like nothing happened last night. My heart is still in pain, yet it feels peaceful somehow. Maybe because I already accepted what really happened from the start, even though I know that I didn't deserve to be played.

"Are you sure you'll be fine alone now?" He asked me while preparing himself to leave.

 "Losing someone who didn't care and played with my feeling is a win. I know my worth." I seriously said to him. "I'll be alright. I fell but I will grow," I said and usher him out of my apartment. He patted my head and turn his back on me.

As he walks out of my home. I forgot to say something to him. I run into him and hugged him from behind. I said shyly. "Thank you, Brother"