Reminiscence

Getting used to the movements was an ordeal, especially since I was taller than Agawa.

Some toes were pinched, and some apologies were made. But over time, our acclimation to each other grew. Our synergy improved so much our bodies seemed to move under a single mind.

"Wow, we might actually be getting the hang of this," I said with genuine surprise.

"Yeah, I guess dancing can be pretty fun! Though," Agawa panted heavily, "it's pretty exhausting."

After she mentioned it, ripples of fatigue spread through my body too. "If you'd like, we can take a break," I said, slowing our waltz. 

She looked at me as if I were demented. "Of course not! Everyone knows you shouldn't stop when you're in the zone!" she tightened her grip so I couldn't let go.

Her speaking of "the zone" reminded me of the tracksuit she wore. Appraising her, I noticed her body was more toned than your average person's. Basketball? Volleyball? Her hair was too long to be a swimmer, so that was out.

She interrupted my thoughts. "You've been staring at me for a while. It's kind of embarrassing… Did you need something?"

"I was curious if you were in a sport of some kind. You seem more athletic than your average person."

She flared up with pride. "Yeah, I'm the captain of," she choked, "was…captain of the Track and Field club."

Her reaction wasn't surprising in the least. Given the "new world" thing, which was becoming increasingly less arguable every second, she might never see her old life again. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up. I mean, I did, but not in that way…" I cursed my own insensitivities.

She shook her head and gave a sad smile. "No, it's alright," she sighed. "I still can't bring myself to believe our situation right now.

"It's difficult to believe, to say the least," I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah…" she cast her gaze towards the ground. "Hey, Sato? Do you think we'll ever go back home? I mean, even if this isn't some alternate world, we're obviously not in Japan anymore. So…do you think we'll ever see our families again?"

It was a difficult question. The kind with an easy answer. The kind of answer that would ease her unease. The kind of answer that any decent human being would give to someone who was hurting, but…I couldn't do that. I couldn't dole out false hope; it would have been too irresponsible.

"If I'm being honest, Miss-"

"Agawa," she interrupted, "call me Agawa."

"Alright…, Agawa... Sadly, I can't be sure of whether we'll ever return or not. Despite all the sights and experiences I've lived through, I've never been through anything like this. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she consoled with a sad smile, "I wasn't expecting you to know, anyway."

After that, we just waltzed to the tune of the music and each other's heartbeat. Hers was rapid from exhaustion, yet she still maintained our pace. I, too, was beyond exhausted, but that subsided to a feeling of warmth within my chest.

It was terrible. It took every bit of willpower I could muster to prevent my body from getting carried away and grinning beyond its capacity. I was feeling joy! It had been so long since I did anything physical without the purpose of combat. I was either fortifying my body or steeling my mind for the next skirmish.

I was still terrible at dancing, obviously, but the act of it was a fantastic experience. If I had to guess why I felt this way, it was because the skill unified two people, not blow them apart.

"Could I ask another question?" Agawa asked, breaking the rhythm. She looked up at me, her expressions cycling between anxiety and curiosity.

"It depends. What about?" I responded.

She visibly hesitated, avoiding my gaze. "Um, could I ask why you became a soldier?"

My grip loosened in shock. I wasn't expecting a question like that, not at all. Though I stared in her direction, what I'd been looking at was far beyond the present reality. Rather I saw the distant past.

Hearing her question sent my consciousness backward while I relived my past life. I relived the days when I still held naive ideals about what it meant to be a soldier. I must've taken too long to answer due to my reflections since she became frantic to apologize.

"I'm sorry!" she released her hands and bowed. "I shouldn't have asked something so personal, please forg-"

"It's alright," I interrupted, "but could I ask why you're so curious?" 

"It's just... I wanted to get to know you a little better," she smiled anxiously.

'Such a casual reason,' I chuckled. I really preferred to not answer, but I guess I owed this girl for gifting me such an enjoyable experience.  'I guess this one time doesn't hurt much,' I sighed.

"Sure, I'll tell you," I slightly smiled.

We once again locked hands, resuming our rhythmic movements. Her large, golden eyes drilled directly into mine, sparkling with fascination.

Using the music as a launching pad, I ejected any hesitation from my body.

I angled my gaze toward the crystalline chandelier above us. The prisms of reflective glass reminded me of the night it truly started. The night I'd decided to put an end to my humanity.

"It happened when I just graduated high school. Back then, I was a naive brat with a dream. A dream that I'd save people and be the one that brought hope back from the brink of despair. If I'm being honest," I chuckled, "it was probably the result of some cartoon I watched when I was younger."

I checked to see if I'd lost her interest, but I shouldn't have doubted her. Her eyes were locked on me as if guided by a laser pointer.

"It seemed like it'd be so easy," I continued, "I just needed to be stronger, faster, and smarter than my opponents. With those boxes checked, I could save anyone that I wanted. At least...that's what I thought."

Agawa nudged me, asking for permission to speak, to which I nodded in agreement.

"You say you wanted to be a savior, right?" she tilted her head. "If that's the case, why didn't you become a police officer or doctor?"

Two seconds into my story, she had already figured out the dreams of my adolescent self. 

"You aren't far off; during and before high school, I always planned on joining law enforcement or, at most, the JSDF. But a few weeks before my graduation, it happened: the event that plunged the world into its third world war. The reason why Japan reformed its military in the first place." 

'And the reason humankind lost its humanity,' I inwardly added.