Awakened from a Sound Sleep

That evening

Friday, 18th August, about 5 p.m

6 days, 9 hours after the start of Harry's trial Muggle London, near Charing Cross Road

Harry saw that Sirius was overjoyed as the former Marauder, Harry and Hermione walked the streets of Muggle London, seeking out a Chinese restaurant. The reason for Sirius's joy was not hard to figure out—

"Got the sun on my face, kids—which is something I never appreciated till I went without it for twelve years. Now I don't need to avoid Aurors, or police, or constables. I'm free."

Soon they found a Chinese restaurant, and Sirius spent £71 on a serious amount of Chinese takeaway. Then the trio walked back to the Leaky Cauldron whilst they carried plastic bags that bulged with cartons of food; seconds later, the three were back at Grimmauld Place.

As soon as Arthur flooed into Grimmauld Place from work, everyone gathered in the kitchen to eat their unusual dinner.

This would be Arthur's last evening at Grimmauld Place; tonight Arthur would return to the Burrow, which he again was the owner of. (In theory, the Twins would follow their father to the Burrow, but instead they had accepted Sirius's invitation to remain at Grimmauld Place till 1st September.)

Arthur and four other of-age wizards, one underage-but-emancipated wizard, and one underage witch all ate, talked and laughed. The funniest part of the meal was when the Twins and Sirius tried to give dating advice to Arthur.

****

The next morning: Saturday, 19th August Bones Manor

Amelia Bones and Susan Bones were eating breakfast. Amelia said, "Susie, I'm Acting Minister now, and Fudge has left me a big mess. So don't expect to see much of me till at least after the election."

The redheaded teenager smiled at her aunt. "Ha, as if you'd lose!"

"Well, I am unbribable, so there are people in Wizarding Britain who would favour another candidate, one who's more agreeable to their viewpoint."

"But the voters know that you'll put them first, not some long-haired blond wizard with a fat moneybag. I'm sure you'll win, auntie."

Amelia Bones's job description no longer was "Auror," but now she used something that she had learnt in the Auror Academy: the unexpected question. "Susan, what is 'the Heir of Slytherin'?"

Susan gave Amelia a puzzled look—Why are you asking me this?—but then answered.

Shocked Amelia asked follow-up questions. Susan answered, with no attempt to avoid questions or to evade answering, and Susan spoke in a matter-of-fact voice—except when she was describing how frightened everyone was, during second year.

Amelia said, "So you and everyone else figured that since Harry Potter speaks Parseltongue,

he must be 'the Heir of Slytherin.' "

"Uh-huh, only a Parselmouth could sic the monster on the Muggle-borns, and Harry Potter was a Parselmouth, so..."

"What made you decide that Harry Potter wasn't 'the Heir of Slytherin'?" "When his close friend Hermione was petrified. Harry went half-mad."

"So Susan, why did you never write me during that year and tell me anything about 'the Heir of Slytherin' or about petrifications? The monster that petrified students turned out to be a basilisk—you never wrote me about a basilisk, either."

Susan's voice went flat then, and her face went blank: "Nothing that happens at school, to people who are not my friends, is a problem serious enough that my Aunt Amelia needs to know about it. I trust Headmaster Dumbledore to keep the school safe. Because of Headmaster Dumbledore, Hogwarts is the safest place in Britain."

Amelia had just decided that she would be taking Susan to Saint Mungo's to get an OPCC&I (mind-whammies) scan, when Amelia realised, Augusta Longbottom is on the Hogwarts Board of Governors, and her grandson attends Hogwarts. I'll bet Augusta hasn't been told anything important either.

****

Meanwhile, in Grimmauld Place, London

Pop. A house-elf appeared; he was dressed like a tiny goblin guard. Without a word, the house-elf handed Harry a parchment with the Gringotts wax seal, then popped away.

The parchment was a report from Gringotts. Axefrenzy, the Potter account manager, had finished the Gringotts audits of the three Potter vaults.

From the Potter family vault, G107 000 had been stolen. The thieves were the deceased goblin Bronzedagger and the wizard Albus P Dumbledore. Unfortunately, the G107 000 had not been moved to other vaults in Gringotts, so that Gringotts could recover the money. Instead, all those galleons had been moved out of Gringotts, to either a Muggle bank or to DwerfBank Suisse (the dwarves-run bank in Switzerland). There was now an in-Gringotts warrant issued for the arrest of Dumbledore.

(However, Axefrenzy noted that actually arresting Dumbledore might be difficult. Since last Sunday, Dumbledore had been using a proxy for his banking business, his house-elf Beekeeper, rather than visiting the bank himself.)

Marion (Molly) Prewett had stolen G1 260 from the Harry Potter trust vault. By Gringotts rules, she was required to pay to Harry 110 percent of what she had stolen, or G1 386. Because of Acting Chief Witch Bones upholding Arthur Weasley's spoken divorce decree against Marion/Molly Prewett, all the money that had been Prewett's was given to Arthur, except for the G874 that had been in her secret vault. This meant that Molly did not have enough money to be applied towards the G1 386, and no property to be seized. By the rules of Gringotts, the next time that Marion Prewett stepped into Gringotts, she would be arrested, tried and—since she had stolen money that she could not pay back, later on—beheaded.

The hundred-galleon fee for the audit on the three Potter vaults had been charged to the Dumbledore family vault.

Harry was saddened to learn that Molly had stolen from him, but he was not shocked at all. Both Ron and Ginny had a sense of entitlement, which they clearly had not received from Arthur Weasley. As for Dumbledore stealing from Harry's vaults—frankly, Harry was surprised that the old man had left him any money at all.

****

Axefrenzy's report also mentioned that since November 1981, G200 per month had been withdrawn from Harry Potter's trust vault, converted to Muggle money (£1 000) and magically transferred to Vernon Dursley, Harry's Muggle guardian. This thousand pounds was presumably for Harry's care. Since Harry's trust vault was refilled every 31st July to G50 000, Axefrenzy acted unconcerned about the G2 400 per year that was withdrawn from Harry's trust vault, converted to pounds, and given to Vernon Dursley.

Axefrenzy saw no reason to be concerned—but reading the report, Harry went nuclear.

Harry dashed off a letter to Axefrenzy that said, "For over thirteen years, you gave the Dursleys a thousand pounds a month for my 'care'? I doubt they've spent a thousand pounds total on me, in all the time I've been with them. They're thieves like Dumbledore, plus they've hurt and starved me too. Show them the total lack of mercy they've always shown me!"

****

Five minutes later, the goblin-guard-dressed house-elf was back, with ten blank memory- crystals. The house-elf took memories of Harry's abuses by various Dursleys, enough to fill all ten memory-crystals. Then the house-elf popped away.

Harry wondered how the goblins would respond, once they viewed those memories.

****

Two hours later In Saint Mungo's

Healers' examinations revealed that both Susan and Neville had been subjected to Obliviations, potions, and Confunduses. The healers at Saint Mungo's could reverse the effects of all that mind-magic, to the relief of Augusta, and of Amelia the aunt of Susan. But Amelia the former Director of the DMLE wanted to scream, because the spellwork and potions that had been used on Susan and on Neville, all lacked a magical signature.

Amelia knew that Dumbledore had mind-whammied Susan and Neville (and probably many other students), but Amelia could not prove to the Wizengamot that Dumbledore had done these things.

****

That evening

Approaching Azkaban Prison

Madam Bones had told Harry that she would go with him to Azkaban Prison "sometime soon." It turned out that "sometime soon" was a bit over twenty-four hours after she had made her promise.

Madam Bones had a Portkey that would take her directly to the warden's office in the prison. It would be irregular, but not a big problem, for her to take Harry with her. But instead, Harry

asked whether it was okay for the two of them to go to the prison by riding the ferry that left from somewhere on the Scottish coast—the ferry that prisoners rode in. Madam Bones reluctantly agreed.

During the boat ride, Madam Bones said to Harry, "The seas are choppy and the wind is cold. I wish you'd shared my Portkey. Why did you want to go to Azkaban this way?"

Harry shrugged. "Going to the prison the way a prisoner would, seems appropriate for me. I've had way too many nightmares in which Voldemort or Snape or Draco Malfoy frames me for murder, the Wizengamot convicts me without giving me Veritaserum or taking any memories, and the bearded blighter tells me, 'Harry my boy, there's nothing I can do.' In the really bad nightmares, Dumbledore lets me stay in Azkaban for years, then 'rescues' me when Voldemort starts making trouble, so now I owe Dumbledore a favour. The sad thing is, when I wake up, I can't argue, 'Oh, this would never happen to me.' "

Madam Bones must have noticed that Harry looked sad, because she said, "You'll be glad to know—I hope!—that my romance with your godfather is going well."

"Oh? How well?"

"He asked me, day before yesterday, whether Susan and I had any firm plans for Yule that we couldn't change. I grinned at him and said no."

Harry shook his head. "I don't understand."

"I think Sirius is on the verge of proposing, and he wants this Yule to be our wedding date."

"Brilliant! I'm not sure Sirius will be a good influence on you, but you will be a good influence on him. Merlin knows he needs one."

****

Madam Bones and Harry were met at the Azkaban boat dock by three Aurors who were serving as prison guards. Madam Bones quickly convinced the Aurors she was who she said she was, but vetting Harry took longer—even with Madam Bones vouching for him.

The Aurors got suspicious again when they discovered that Harry was carrying two wands: his holly-and-phoenix-feather wand, which was in the wand holster that was strapped to his left forearm, and a wand with no core that Harry was carrying openly, sticking out of a pocket.

Harry explained the second wand—sort of: "That's my fake wand, my 'tragic wand.' It's a tree branch I transfigured. I'm using it to hopefully play a nasty prank on Bellatrix."

Madam Bones asked, "Do I want to know what the prank is?"

Harry answered, "You really don't. I not telling you gives you plausible deniability."

****

Minutes later

Harry and Madam Bones stood in a corridor on the twelfth floor of the maximum-security wing of Azkaban. A shut door at each end of the corridor, from which hung a runestone with "Keep away, Dementors!" runes on it, protected Madam Bones and Harry—also, the runestones protected the prisoners.

Or more accurately, at the moment the prisoners were protected from Dementors.

To the west of Madam Bones and Harry were five prison cells, each cell occupied by a deadly and evil Death Eater. To the east of Madam Bones and Harry, five more deadly and evil Death Eaters stared at them.

Harry said to the ten prisoners, "I have good news to share—well, I think it's good news. But before I share my good news, may I call Dobby here, Madam Bones?"

Madam Bones drew her wand, pointed it at the ceiling and said, "I, Amelia Susan Bones, Acting Minister for Magic, give permission for the house-elf Dobby to enter Azkaban Prison. So mote it be."

Harry called Dobby, Dobby elf-popped in, and Harry said to him, "Bring here the things I discussed."

"Dobby obeys!" the house-elf said, before popping away.

Seconds later, a small table appeared in the corridor, then two chairs by the table, then a white tablecloth atop the table, then a red-and-white two-liter bottle, two plastic cups and a plate of chocolates, all atop the tablecloth. Then Dobby elf-popped back into the corridor, looking at Harry attentively.

Harry led Madam Bones to a chair, then pushed her chair in, before taking the other chair.

Harry raised his voice and said to the prisoners, "Madam Bones and I are celebrating. But before I tell you what we're celebrating, let me tell you what we're celebrating with. In the odd-shaped bottle is Coca-Cola. It's a Muggle fizzy drink invented in the USA in the nineteenth century—it's the original Muggle fizzy drink. The chocolates you see aren't Honeyduke's chocolates, they're Cadbury chocolates—quite Muggle and quite tasty."

Harry picked up a Cadbury chocolate and bit into it, as nine of the ten Death Eaters screamed abuse at him. Merlin, Bellatrix's voice was painful to listen to! One Death Eater out of the ten said nothing; instead, he watched and listened. From the man's description, Harry guessed that this Death Eater was Augustus Rookwood.

Madam Bones did not bother with asking for silence or with demanding silence; she simply did something with her wand, and the nine screaming Death Eaters were silenced.

Grinning Harry twisted the cap off the Coca-Cola bottle—the cap made a psst noise—then Harry poured dark brown and hissing Coca-Cola into each plastic cup.

Harry took a sip, smiled, then said loudly, "Today is 19th August. A week ago, on 12th August, Lucius Malfoy tried to kill me. He failed. Then I tried to kill him. I succeeded. In the process, I became Lord Malfoy by Right of Conquest, and I inherited Malfoy Manor. In case nobody has told you, Malfoy Manor is where Lord Moldyshorts was living till six days ago."

Nine of the Death Eaters starting screaming abuse at Harry, for speaking about the Dark Lord so disrespectfully. Smirking Madam Bones silenced the nine Death Eaters again.

Harry continued, "Once I became Lord Malfoy, I gathered up three people I trusted: Bellatrix's cousin Sirius the 'blood-traitor,' Sirius's friend Remus the werewolf, and my Muggle-born betrothed, Hermione. The four of us went to Malfoy Manor and we did what all the Purebloods who work for the Ministry failed to do, and what 'the Leader of the Light,' Albus Dumbledore, failed to do: we four killed the Dark Lord and thirty-two Death Eaters. Two of the thirty-two Death Eaters we killed were Pettigrew and Macnair."

This caused another round of noise that Madam Bones had to magically silence. Augustus Rookwood still had not spoken one word, though his face showed fury.

"Tom Riddle—Did you lot know that this was the Dark Lord's real name, and that he was a half-blood?—was Lancia'd twice through the heart, and beheaded—he is most sincerely dead. I personally beheaded Snape. I personally killed eight other Death Eaters before my little visit to Malfoy Manor. To dead Death Eaters!"

Harry raised his cup of cola in toast.

The noise that nine of the ten living Death Eaters made was deafening.

Madam Bones touched her cup of cola to Harry's, took a sip, then she magically silenced everyone again.

Harry said with a mocking smile, "Madam Bones, please let Bellatrix speak. I'm curious what the Inbred slag has to say."

"You lie, Potter!" Bellatrix yelled, her face crimson. "The Dark Lord is alive, soon he will

free us from this place, and soon after that, your mudblood will die!"

"Bella, oh Bella," Harry said. He stood up. "I can see your left forearm through the bars." Harry walked towards her cell. "Your Dark Mark has faded completely." Harry walked close to Bellatrix's prison cell. "Surely even an Inbred is smart enough to realise"—Harry walked up to where he was directly in front of Bellatrix, with his body pressed against the bars of her cell—"what a faded Dark Mark means."

Bellatrix cackled. "You're calling me gormless?" Snake-quick, her hand yanked the "tragic wand" out of Harry's pocket, pointed the "wand" at Harry and yelled, "Avada Kedavra!"

Nothing happened. Or rather, Harry wandlessly and wordlessly created a green Lumos light at the tip of the fake wand, but nothing deadly happened.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry cast wandlessly. Harry got his fake wand back, and Bellatrix was knocked into the back wall of her cell.

Harry put the "tragic wand" back in his pocket. Then he smiled cruelly at Bellatrix. "Bella, everyone says you don't have your head on straight. It's time someone did something about this."

Bella's head turned to her right—then kept turning. When her head was looking at the wall behind her—by then, her screaming had cut off—her head kept turning. Bellatrix's head kept turning till her head no longer was attached to her body.

A second later, Bellatrix's head was lying on the floor; but rather than the separation of head and trunk having been done with a clean cut, her head looked like it had been ripped away from her body by a giant.

Suddenly the fake wand was yanked out of Harry's pocket. He turned about just in time to see the wand land in the outstretched right hand of Augustus Rookwood.

Rookwood pointed the wand at Madam Bones and yelled, "Avada Kedavra!" Instantly he switched his aim to point the wand to Harry and again yelled, "Avada Kedavra!"

This time, Harry did not bother with a wandless, wordless green Lumos, so Rookwood's attempt at deadly spellcasting achieved nothing.

Again Harry cast a wandless Expelliarmus to reclaim his fake wand. Then he raised his voice and said, "Augustus, you've been naughty. Gentlemen—and I use the term loosely—would you like to see how I killed nine Death Eaters a week ago, including Lucius Malfoy?"

Rookwood's screams lasted much longer than Bellatrix's screams had lasted.

Madam Bones sent a message-Patronus to the warden before one-armed Rookwood bled to death—not that the timing mattered any. Aurors who are assigned to Azkaban do not rush up stairs to save the life of a dying Death Eater.

****

To remove dead Bellatrix from her prison cell, the Auror who had the least seniority at the prison held a runestone close to the lock on the door to Bellatrix's cell. That Auror sent wand-magic into a blue-coloured rune on the runestone.

Then the runestone talked—but in Parseltongue. "§Unlock the door only to this one prison cell.§"

Click—the prison door unlocked itself.

A different Auror conjured a stretcher, and the two parts of Bellatrix's body were placed on the stretcher. The stretcher was floated out into the corridor, the blood inside the cell was vanished by two Aurors, then the prison door was shut.

The runestone again was held close to the lock of Bellatrix's door. This time, wand-magic was sent into the red rune, not into the blue rune; and this time, the runestone said in Parseltongue, "§Lock the door to this prison cell.§"

Click—the prison door locked itself.

The process was repeated for Rookwood and his prison cell.

By now, Dobby had sent the table, two chairs, tablecloth, two cups, and Muggle foods back to wherever they had come from. Madam Bones and Harry spoke briefly with the warden; then Madam Bones and Harry each took one of Dobby's hands, and Madam Bones and Harry were elf-popped back to Grimmauld Place.

****

Some hours later

Sunday, 20th August, 3:03 a.m

Number 4, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey

Vernon Dursley was having a fun dream. He was explaining to Stephanie, his young and pretty receptionist, that he would sack her and would give her an awful reference, unless she "made him happy." Vernon grabbed her wrist and placed her hand on the front of his trousers, lest his meaning be unclear.

But then Vernon's dream got weird. Stephanie's husband rushed through the door—but he was speaking a foreign language in a gravelly voice.

Then the dream got scary: Stephanie's husband rushed across the room, impossibly fast, and put a knife to Vernon's throat. The dream was so real, Vernon actually felt a bit of pain on his throat.

"Wake up, Vernon Dursley," the voice of Stephanie's husband said—but the voice was not coming from Vernon's office at Grunnings, it was coming from his bedroom.

Vernon awoke to discover that the blade on his throat was real. The sword-blade was being held by a three-foot-tall creature that was smiling at him—showing many, many long, thin, pointed teeth like what those South American killer-fish have.

"Vernon?" Petunia said quietly. She sounded frightened.

Vernon s-l-o-w-l-y turned his head to look. Another one of those short, pointy-teeth creatures was on the other side of the bed; the creature likewise was holding a sword to Petunia's throat.

The creature next to Vernon said, "Now that we've your attention, we're here on behalf of our client, Harry James Potter. Whom you've stolen £199 200 from."

By now the short creature again was holding a sword just above Vernon's neck. It occurred to Vernon that his usual method of dealing with people who bothered him—yelling and making threats—would just get him killed in his own bed before dawn.

Vernon made himself speak calmly: "How do you figure we owe the freak £199 200?"

Vernon's sword-toting creature replied jovially, "For thirteen years and ten months, you've received a thousand pounds a month for the care of Lord Potter. That's £166 000. Almost none of that £166 000 did you spend on the boy whose vault was paying you. You don't own this house, Mrs Dursley's parents did, until they died and Mrs Dursley's sister Lily inherited the house; then Lily owned the house till she died, and toddler Harry inherited it. You two paid rent, considerably below market value, of two hundred pounds a month to Mrs Dursley's parents and to Mrs Dursley's sister Lily, until November 1981. Beginning November 1981, you've paid no rent. Which makes you £33 200 in arrears on your rent. For a grand total of

£199 200."

The creature whose sword was threatening Petunia's neck said to the one on Vernon's side of the bed, "Don't forget the value of all the cooking, dishwashing and gardening that Harry James Potter did for the Dursleys, that they never paid him for."

"You're right, Slicesword. But we'll have to go back to the bank and figure that out. Talk with Lord Potter, collect some more memories—"

Vernon said, " 'Lord' Potter? You're calling the freak 'Lord' Potter?"

"Shut up, thief. Speak only when spoken to, or..." The edge of the sword sliced Vernon's neck a tiny bit.

Petunia said, "You mentioned the 'bank.' Are you goblins?"

Slicesword, the creature on Petunia's side of the bed, replied, "Yes. We three goblins in this house manage Harry James Potter's money. Which he has less of than he should, because of you. Now you three will face judgement."

Vernon felt fear then—fear as he had not felt since he was sixteen years old. The fear lessened, when the two goblins took the swords away and stuck them behind their backs. But the fear came back when Vernon realised he could not move! He wanted so badly to leap out of bed and to thrash the little runt, but Vernon could only breathe, blink and move his eyes— he could not speak, never mind yelling.

Then Vernon and Petunia rose floating off the bed, then they moved away from where they had been and towards Vernon's goblin. Then both husband and wife rotated from horizontal to vertical, but without ever touching the floor. By the light from the bedroom light (which one of the goblins turned on, from across the bedroom), Vernon could see that the ceiling was only a foot above his head, and the floor was farther down than he was used to seeing it.

Vernon felt helpless. He had not felt helpless since he was sixteen years old. He did not like the feeling at all.

A thought hit Vernon: The boy can do what these goblins do. And I've given the boy ten thousand reasons to want me dead. But then Vernon thought, The boy wouldn't dare.

Vernon's goblin called out, "Byonksek nukob skem." Then the goblin said cruelly, "Oh my, Vernon and Petunia Dursley, look there."

Vernon and Petunia was spun in midair so that they faced Petunia's wooden wardrobe. "Byonksek nukob skem," Vernon's goblin said again. The wardrobe turned sunny yellow for a second.

Petunia's goblin (Slicesword) opened the door of Petunia's wardrobe, even as Vernon's mind was begging the universe, Don't let them find it, don't let them find it!

With the wardrobe door now open, Slicesword said again, "Byonksek nukob skem."

At the bottom of the main space of the wardrobe, and against the rear wall, were three shoeboxes. The top two shoeboxes stayed normal; the bottom shoebox flashed sunny yellow for a second.

Slicesword removed that shoebox from the wardrobe, carried the shoebox to the bed and opened the lid. Vernon wanted to yell, Let go of that, it's ours! But he could not speak a word.

Vernon and Petunia floated in midair, silenced and helpless, as Slicesword counted the pound-notes that were inside the shoebox.

Eventually Slicesword quit counting. A grey pouch appeared from nowhere, the goblin dropped the pound-notes into the pouch, then the pouch disappeared.

Now Slicesword looked at Vernon and Petunia and said, "I count only £37 215. Your accounts at Barclays Bank are worth only £12 336. You don't own this house—the house belongs to Lord Potter. You don't own the automobile parked out front, which belongs to Grunnings Drills. You stole two hundred thousand pounds from Lord Potter, plus you got over a decade of free labour from him, and you have little to show for it. You're not only child abusers and thieves, but you're spendthrift thieves. But today you shall face judgement."

Vernon felt fear at those words.

****

The two goblins in the bedroom floated Vernon and Petunia, who were still in their nightclothes, out of their bedroom and to the top of the stairs. Waiting for them was a third goblin, with floating Dudley. Dudley was dressed in his pyjamas, the terror obvious on his face.

Dudley's goblin announced, "I collected fifty-two pounds from the boy's room."

Vernon wondered, How did Dudley get fifty-two pounds? I didn't give it to him, and he doesn't hold a position anywhere. Maybe Pet sneaked Dudley the money? The other possibilities, that Dudley had stolen pound-notes from the wardrobe shoebox, or that Dudley was selling drugs, Vernon did not want to think about.

The three goblins floated the three Dursleys down the stairs, without any of the Dursleys touching the stairs. Once everyone was on the ground floor of Number 4, Privet Drive, Vernon's goblin worked the Byonksek nukob skem trick again. In less than a minute, that goblin had found the £47.29 that was in a cigar box on the top shelf of the far-right kitchen cabinet.

****

Four hours later: 7:26 a.m

Dudley had never been so scared in his life. He had been awakened from sleep by the feel of a sword on his throat, then he had been magically paralysed whilst a little man that Dudley had thought lived only in children's videos, needed only seconds to find the money that Dudley had hidden under his mattress. Minutes later, Dudley and his parents had disappeared from their house, to appear in a place that had stone walls, and torches in the walls for light. Dudley, his mother and his father were floated into separate gaol cells and the doors were shut and locked; only then could Dudley move and speak.

Neither before or after the Dursleys were gaoled had the goblins warned the family that "You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court." Nor had the goblins mentioned anything about contacting a solicitor or barrister. Which to Dudley meant: The goblins were not following the rules that British police and constables on the telly programmes had to follow.

Dad had yelled at the goblins and had threatened to contact his MP about this "outrage," but Dudley quickly had figured out that Dad's yelling was actually hurting the Dursleys' case, not helping it.

All this had been four hours ago. Dudley was sleepy, but he had been too scared to sleep. Now the gaol doors were opened, and the three Dursleys were herded, by three goblins with axes, into a stone-walls courtroom.

There were only two humans in the courtroom, besides the Dursleys themselves: Dudley's Cousin Harry, and a girl Harry's age with brown, bushy hair. The girl glared death at Dudley and his parents, all whilst the girl was squeezing Harry's hand.

Cousin Harry's face showed cruelty—the boy would have been beaten to death if he had ever showed that expression in the Dursley house.

Dudley's dad yelled, "Listen, boy—"

But then, whilst Vernon Dursley still was yelling, no more sound came out of his mouth. Dudley murmured, "Dad, you're going to get us all killed if you don't shut up."

****

Some of the trial was in the goblin language, but mostly it was in English. The three goblins who had teleported into the Dursley house, had captured the Dursleys, and had searched the house for money, testified first, for a long time. The Dursleys' captors were Harry's "account managers," which Dudley figured out was an important position for goblins.

The goblin "account managers" testified, then Harry testified. Then Dudley's father, then his mother, each were herded to the witness stand, were given a blue liquid, and were asked questions. Whilst under the effect of the blue liquid, whichever parent was being questioned, acted like he or she was on heavy drugs—and they told the truth.

Under the effect of the blue liquid, Vernon Dursley admitted to cheating on his taxes, all the way back to when he was twenty-two years old. He gave details.

To Dudley's giant relief, he himself was not questioned, or given the blue liquid. But this did not help Dudley much, because Harry on the witness stand, whilst mainly talking about Dudley's parents, had said many bad things about Dudley.

Then the goblin judge ruled on the facts. Vernon and Petunia Dursley had stolen tens of thousands of "galleons" from cousin Harry, and now could not pay back some of 110 percent of that stolen money. Cousin Harry already owned the house at Number 4, Privet Drive— Dudley was surprised to hear this, and Cousin Harry and his girlfriend looked surprised too— and the goblin judge awarded Cousin Harry all of the Dursleys' property inside Number 4. However, this still left a big amount of money that Vernon and Petunia Dursley owed Cousin Harry, that they could not repay.

Dudley was expecting his parents to be sent to goblin prison. Instead, they were ordered beheaded.

The beheadings were done right then, right there in the courtroom, where the goblin judge, Cousin Harry and his girlfriend, and Dudley all could see everything.

"NOOO!" Dudley yelled, when his father died. Cousin Harry shot Dudley a look that said

Shut up, you're annoying me.

When Dudley's parents both were dead, a goblin who was wearing a shirt made of steel rings, and who was carrying an axe, put the axe behind his back, made the parental Dursleys' bodies (and their blood) vanish, picked up Dudley's father's and mother's heads, and carried the heads out of the courtroom.

Then it was Dudley's turn to be tried. Cousin Harry testified again, and a goblin showed three-dimensional videos. The videos all were of Dudley and his friends beating Harry up. The last video showed Dudley using The Brick.

When Harry and Dudley had been ten, Dudley almost had killed his cousin with a brick.

Dudley had thought the "brick beating" to be great fun at the time. Now, Harry's girlfriend was glaring death at Dudley, and her face was scarier than any of the goblins. Dudley thought, The goblins will kill me because of that brick.

When the judge ordered Dudley to stand for his own sentencing, Dudley was so frightened he pissed himself. But before Dudley was sentenced, the judge asked him if he had anything to say.

Dudley expected to be dead within minutes; but he decided to die with dignity. Dudley looked at Cousin Harry and at his girlfriend and said, "I didn't steal from Harry, but I beat him up lots of times, and I stole from lots of other kids. I deserve whatever punishment I get."

The goblin judge called Cousin Harry to the bench. Their mouths moved, but Dudley heard only silence. Then Harry walked back to sit with his girlfriend.

Dudley was sentenced "only" to work in a goblin iron mine till 23rd June 1998, his eighteenth birthday. The judge told Dudley that the only reason that Dudley was getting sentenced "so lightly" was "because Lord Potter asked this of us, because he says you have shown remorse."

Dudley still was wearing his pyjamas when two axe-armed goblins led him out of the courtroom.

****

The next three days

Monday through Wednesday, 21st through 23rd August Bern, Switzerland

Albus Dumbledore had important work to do in Bern. Only he could save Wizarding Britain's way of life.

During this conference of the International Confederation of Wizards, magical Australia and magical USA would be trying to make trouble for Wizarding Britain. Only someone as famous and admired as he, Albus Dumbledore, could counter the beguiling words of Mick Carter, the Australian delegate to the annual ICW conference, and of Pete Joplin, the USA delegate to the ICW conference.

Surely dealing with Harry Potter could be set aside for three days, whilst Albus outtalked Mick and Pete.

****

Albus Dumbledore had no inkling that Harry Potter had made plans for the three days that the bearded meddler would be away from Britain.

__________________________