4.Disappearance

Then my father and many other men went back to work the next morning. Some cried at their balcony, waiving their hand with hope their husband or father's would come back the following week. It was an heavy moment,the surrounding seemed even greyier then usual. Thinking about it, It was certainly the omen of tragic events that would follow that day. However, at the moment itself I could not think about anything more than what was presenting itself to me; I would not be able to see my father for a week again.

A week passed, a second on followed, Completed into a month Where no men returned. Weeks of the second month slowly came to their ends, women were starting to lose all hopes and then like magic they simply came back.

Acclaimed like saviors. I was with Amador and the others when we eard the creacking of the suspended basket.I ran as fast as i could in the stairs, nearly broke my neck but when I arrived to my house my father was not there. The carrycot passed in front of our balcony,making the creaking sound like a mockin laugh.

Twoo, Three more month passed without a single sign of my father .My mother who tried her best to hide it, cried every day. I felt sorrow slowly building up in me the more the day passed and because I had to take care of my siblings more, I slowly got less time to meet with Amador and the others.

Strangely enough, we were still receiving food,proof that my dad was still alive, At least that's what my mother thought.

"You know sweet heart?Your father is alive for sure. After all we wouldn't have received anything at all! It's how it work! Your dad work and he receives food in exchange of some of his salary! So therefore, he's can't be dead! They just got delay! few other didn't came either. Something big came up! maybe they just sleep there... Maybe they had problems with the transportation ! Yes that must be that! So don't listen to the horrible things other women are saying. "

I couldn't tell if she was desperately trying to convince herself or is she was truly believing it. In any case I saw how brave but fragile my mother was. Seeing her suffer became more and more unbearable for me and the absence of my dad wasn't making it any better .

Finnaly one day, After having done all the house chores and given food to my younger siblings, I took my bag filled it with snacks and water and went straight to Amador's door, determined to finally do something. I had a long moment of hesitation and before i could even knock ,as if we were connected , he opened it himself Bag on his back. First surprised but then finally at ease I simply said.

"We need to talk.

Without more words ,we climbed the stairs, stoped at each floor our friends were leaving in and went straight to the rooftop. It was an heavy and silent moment and the stairs slowly felt like cursing on our feet making the climbing somehow difficult. Once we arrived we all sat in a round.

"So...Your parents haven't returned yet right?"

I said in the middle of a small chitchat they were having. They stoped and looked more depressed then they already were.

-No....

-Mine hasn't returned either....We are still receiving food though....I miss cooking witth him....Yours isn't there yet right?

-Nop, That stupid old men is still missing. Thought I won't complain not being beaten up anymore. Maybe they are juste dead.Said curly haired boy with nonchalance.

-Amador! You shouldn't say that!Said Navajo who couldn't raise his voice more then that.

-You really have no tact, we're not like you ,you know?We want our farthers back. If you don't care juste leave us!

-Shut it Biggy, I only said that for my dad ! If I didn't care I wouldn't be here in the first place. But seriously we had nothing from them for more then a month! other men are back how do you explain that? If they weren't dead why wouldn't they have returned in the same time as the others?

-But we still receive food! How do you explain that if they are dead? the food come accordingly to the money they make, so they're still getting money, and as much as I'm concerned dead people don't earn money.

-I don't know ! Actually that's the problem! We never received so much food. That why my mom is crazy about him again! Saying how much he love us by sending more food, but that's bulshit!

-But...But Biggy is right. Said Navajo hesitantly. If they were dead they would cut off our food supply! and that's not only it they would have come to pick us up!That's what they do when a men die, and we would be sent to the refuge!

-That's what your father said.

-Yeah but you can see it....

-Who is telling you their going to a refuge? Mine told me their moved to the dump or whatever shit it's suppose to be.

-Here is not the question! The...

-I'll go down."

I finally said. The idea I was bottling up and maturing for a months in a corner of my head until it flooded it to the point it could not stay there. For me like for them it came out like a punch right on the face.

"You what?" Said Amador looking at me like I had some weird diseases. Even I felt slightly surprised so I couldn't blame their reactions.

" I'm going down, to look for my father.

-Huh?! What nonsense are you pulling this time?! Said Amador more angrily then I thought.

-That's it! She lost it too. said Biggy like it was the end of the world.

-Marica...It's... It's a joke right?

-I'm dead serious. "

Amador started to massage his left temple like a headache suddenly came at him, Biggy laughed nervously. Kenny as always didn't say a word. Actually I wasn't even sure that I have heard him say something even once.

The other too made a woried face, I could see "Ah I always though she was crazy but she finally lost it." on Their forehead.

I repeated myself.

"-I'm going down to look for my father. "

-Yeah right we got it, we got it. Arhh....Amador sighted heavily scratching his head. He then said.

-Ok. Let's say you're serious about it...

-I'm.

-Ok ok I told you I get it.Where the fuck did you get that idea? Wait no.. don't answer you're crazy enough to come with an idea like that..... hmph. Amador scratched his scar, showing his evident stress Or.

-How do you plan to do that?

-Wait Amador You don't plan on following her?!

-Shut up you fat ass let's just ear her. He crossed his arm and took a severe look.As they looked like they seriously were waiting for a answer I quickly spoke up.

"-I've ben thinking about it for a month. It didn't just came up like that. I thought that maybe We should go search for them ourselves. I mean why wouldn't we?Our mother are suffering and Navajo is alone now, We can't make sur they are alive or not if we don't go see for ourselves. More over, It's been more then 3 months noe waiting would be pointless. And It's the chance to...

I stoped what was i about to say?

-Chance to what?Said Amador.

-To go down! I observed the way they delivered us food and we can go to the nacelle without knowing how to make it work! I thought about everything.

-We? Said Biggy not convinced.

I clenched my first, I was scared of telling them.

-....You're not obligated to come. Just think about It...I can't watch my mother cry anymore.

-Of course we are not ! shouted Biggy. I can't watch mother cry either but that doesn't meen I'll put myself in danger. What If I die living my mother behind?

-I know it's hard but...we don't know if it's that dangerous, no one tried before!

-That's the problem!No one ever tried and came back to tell us it's fine either!It's like trying to die to see what is after death just because no one came back to tell us What's after your heart stops beating.

-I'm In. "

Before I could retort anything to what Biggy said Amador spouted out something incredibly surprising.

"You're what?" Said Biggy frowning his eyebrows.

-I'm In. Marica is right we can't know before we try.

-Oh dear Lord, did you got infected with her craziness? And why do you even want to follow her?You don't even want to save your father! I knew you followed Marica everywhere but this is suppose to be the limit of your fidelity!

-Shut it Biggy, What I decide to do is my own decision I don't need your fucking opinion and I'm not following anyone around. If you want to fight me just come.

-Well....Let's not fight please...Marica.... Let say we follow you.

-You too?!Biggy looked mad and exhausted. What's wrong with...

Kenny posed his hand on Biggy mouth.

-Thank you Kenny...Let's say that we follow you... I'm not saying that we are.... What's exactly your plan ?"

I felt determination, although Biggy seemed strictly against my idea the others still looked interested.I knew that I could not do anything without them so I decided to do my best to convince them.

-By observing the Carrycot I kinda got how we can use it. You might know now but A truck come and a man put the box of food in the Basket. Once they are filled they go up at every needed floor for people whose man hasn't been back. Each person take their belongings. The carrycot arrives at the roof top to then undertake a fast descent to the last floor.

-Wait. If we are going, it's not to come back right after, so the stairs won't be a problem, It would take more time but it's less dangerous. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm taking part in all this.Biggy had finnaly decided to go on my way.

-There is a Wall. simply said Navajo.

-Wall? Both Biggy, Amador and Kenny looked perplexed.

-Navajo is right. We never met any kid for lower than the 50th floor.

-Well Knowing how many stair there is, I understand. said Amador

-There's that, but most importantly there's like an invisible wall. For some reason we're incapable of going further than the 50th floor. I tried to go down few days ago to asses how long it would take us, but for some reason I couldn't go further then that.

-It also happened to me years Ago. Added Navajo. I tried to go down out if curiosity but once arrived at the 50 th floor I just couldn't go farther. I tried multiple times after without success.I couldn't really explain it but i concluded that there might be a sort of invisible wall.

-What the fuck , Why haven't you told us that!?

-Well..No one seemed bothered by it so I Though you knew...

-Oh god my head.... whatever. So I guess we wait for the basket to come all the way up to the rooftop, we jump in it and we let ourselves fall. said biggy still unconvinced.

-That' it. It's going to be dangerous we'll have to strongly grab something in order not to fall. Then once we are on the ground we'll start going all the way to the factory Area. According to my dad Most Factory are in a concentrated area so they must be there.

-And were exactly? Everything look the same here. Said Amador Arm closed on his chest.

-I don't know exactly....But It might where the Gaz Cloud is more dense. I slightly moved my arm to show a place where the gaz looked more intense like a fog completely covering the horizon.

-Great!First you propose us to jump on a engine we were always told not to approach cuz' it could kill us and now you're saying that on top of not being sure of where we are going we might run head first to a toxic cloud who could also kill us!I'm not going with this,We don't even know what is after this road for godsake!

-You stay here and affraid Biggy, but if we eventually find them you'll be super embarrassed. I'm In Marica, You can't prepare everything in advance anyway. So when should we go.

-If they follow the usual schedule then we have 3 days.

-Alright. Amador stood up and took his bag. We'll see each other in 3 days.

-Amador don't be stupid!Why would you even follow her?!

-Well sorry for bein an Idiot, but don't get me wrong I'm not going because I want to make sure my father isms dead. with these words, Amador took the way of the door simply saying "I've to see If My mother hasn't done anything crazy again."Then He left. Although he looked casual I could tell how much my Idea was making him uncomfortable.

-I'm off! Don't count on me on that!Marica you were always a weirdo but I was just fine with your usual daydreaming, Your books got too much to your head you don't know what your doing anymore. I don't care about whatever Yall will do.I'm done with your bulshit.

Biggy then left clearly exasperate.

I then looked at Navajo, Hopping he would not react like that, but his avoiding eyes were telling me the contrary.

-A...After all your plan is crazy...Let's be realistic Marica , It's not logical at all we will die for sure.

-You can't know before we try. I don't want to give up on my father.

I tried my best to show him how determined I was. I was decided anyway even if they did not came with me I would have gone alone.

-Ma...Marica Please.....

As he was trying to convince me , Kenny just patted his shoulder waiving his head as a way to say that I would not change my mind no matter how hard he would trie to convince me.

Then he sadly looked at me, more uncomfortable then the second before and quickly stood to live the place with Kenny.

I stayed there alone. Looking blankly at the sky. Thinking of my impossible plan.