In This Life...

BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ

Li Xiuying blindly fumbled under her pillow and eventually found her phone which was vibrating non-stop.

She peered at the all-too-bright screen through half-open eyelids.

The screen read 'Incoming call Sun Yu'.

She picked up reflexively, with a groggy voice: "Hello."

Sun Yu spoke in a polite but pushy tone: "Dr. Li, Huang Teng the CEO of The World Bank has just called again making this the ninth time so far. From what I've heard he isn't usually known for his patience. He wants to meet you today in order to discuss the kidney transplant surgery concerning both of his grandsons next week. What would you like me to tell him? Shall I go ahead and book him in for an appointment at his office in an hour? I'll also arrange for a taxi to pick you up in 15 minutes."

She was just about to agree when she froze mid-sentence: "I'm on my w... What..."

Li Xiuying immediately sat up in bed, kicked away the duvet and twisted, and turned to look at her body which was entirely uninjured. She touched her face which was smooth and scar free, and patted her ribs which were no longer broken. She mumbled to herself "no scars on my abdomen, only one minor callus on each hand, there's no pain in my joints, and the bones in both my legs are intact. I'm fine, I'm actually fine."

She pinched herself hard on the underside of one arm then the other, then she squeezed her trapezius muscle causing her to flinch. "All very painful. One more try..." Lastly, she applied pressure to the supraorbital area and winced away. She looked around the all too familiar room.

The realization that she was still alive hit her hard. 'Shouldn't I be laying in a pool of my own blood waiting for death? Wasn't I finally going to be free? What's going on? Why am I in this bed? Have I been saved by someone? This is my room, so did my family save me in order to work again? Why would they bring me back here though?'

Sun Yu's loud voice broke through her inner monologue: "Hello, Hello Can you hear me? Hello!? Dr Li?"

She put the phone next to her ear once again.

Sun Yu said with a hint of impatience: "Hello Dr. Li so should I go ahead and schedule the meeting for later this morning?"

Li Xiuying still couldn't fathom what was happening. The one thing that she did know was Sun Yu's voice was piercingly annoying.

Sun Yu spoke loudly and sharply yet again: "Hello, Dr. Li are you still there? Can you hear me? Hello, Dr Li Xiuying. Should I schedule the meeting?"

Li Xiuying spoke coldly: "Not feeling well. Won't be available." She then hung up.

She looked at her phone screen and mumbled: "8:30 am Tuesday 9th June 2010." She tossed her phone back onto the bed. She once again pinched the skin on her inner elbow and felt a sharp pain.

Li Xiuying muttered: "Is this actually real? I've gone back 8 years in time. Or was that just a long nightmare? Can a nightmare feel so real that it twists your heart in pain? What is happening right now?" She ran a hand through her hair in frustration and closed her weary eyes. Li Xiuying felt reluctance burning inside her; she didn't want to live this life again. It was hard enough to survive the first time. She had let go, she had accepted her fate, she was finally going to meet her parents and be surrounded by their love.

Li Xiuying started sifting through all the memories of her life. The cruel images came in thick and fast. Scenes of her cousin's betrayal, her fiancé's betrayal. Her family abusing her financially, physically and emotionally. Colleagues turning their backs on her. Images of being spat on and laughed at after her fall from the medical world. Being worked to the point that the callouses on her hands were as hard as iron. More and more ugly scenes appeared in her mind.

Li Xiuying only came back to reality after she felt something wet fall onto her hand. She brought her pale hands to her face and felt tears streaming down her cheeks.

Li Xiuying looked up at the ceiling, closed her eyes as tears continued to fall and started laughing. It was a hysterical laugh filled with regret and pain. She questioned her sorry self  'How could I have been so stupid? Has there been anyone as moronic as me? Constantly throwing myself to them to be beaten like a slave.' 

All of a sudden Li Xiuying's bedroom door was pushed open. A middle-aged man stepped in and looked at her with a scrutinizing gaze. He found her just standing aimlessly by the bed and looking at the ceiling. 

Middle-aged man: "Xiuying, do you have any idea what time it is? Why aren't you getting ready for work? Why are you just standing around by yourself?"

Li Xiuying looked at the face of her uncle, Li Wang.

Her uncle's face was full of sincerity that didn't quite reach his eyes. He was a plain-looking man and of average height. Li Wang was currently wearing a custom-made navy suit, which he probably bought with her money.

Li Wang felt something off with this niece of his. He gently chastised: "Xiuying, why are you staring at me? Don't you have a meeting today with CEO Huang? You can't be irresponsible. If you've agreed to do something you have to accomplish the task no matter what. That's what your parents would have insisted upon. Promises must be fulfilled. Even if you're not feeling well you still have to keep your word. Your word is your bond that's what your dad always used to say."

Li Xiuying continued to stare.

She thought to herself: 'His eyes are full of greed, I can even see that he can't completely hide the look of disgust he has for me. How did I ever think that this man was doing everything for my good and out of love? Li Wang, how dare you try to teach me morals when your conscience was long fed to the dogs! Even using my parent's words against me to push me into being your compliant puppet. And that Sun Yu, was your loyal dog all along. Ah, Sun Yu you pretended to be on my side but secretly sold me out to my uncle and anyone else who was willing to pay. Just wait for this Grand-aunt to remove lumps of flesh from all of you who betrayed me and had thoughts of using me.'

Li Xiuying spoke coldly: "You're right. But I'm not feeling well. It could lead to mistakes in the theater. This could ruin the clinic's reputation and lead to expensive lawsuits." Li Xiuying said all of this with an expressionless face, she planned to keep up her obedient facade for a little longer. 

The expression on Li Wang's face froze. There was a trace of anger in his eyes. He thought to himself: 'What is wrong with this b****** niece of mine today? Why is she being so rebellious? She's usually so obedient and does everything I say without question. On the other hand, She does have a point. If she did go into work with her wretched appearance she could cause me to lose money and clients. Then just this once I'll let her have some time off. A subordinate has to be given the carrot sometimes as well, not just the stick. This can serve to renew the caring uncle image. Besides, I can always teach her a lesson for talking back at a later date. There were two 9-hour-long surgeries next week, I don't see why she can't do both of them in one day. She should learn to optimize her time.' He almost smirked at the thought of her breaking down after an 18-hour day.

Li Wang's anger disappeared to be replaced with a fake look of worry.

Li Wang spoke with exaggerated concern: "Ah my dear niece, uncle understands. If you're feeling that unwell then you should definitely rest and recover before returning to work, I'll let you have a few days. I'll tell the cook to make you nourishing foods to help supplement your health. Let me know if you need anything at all." With that said he walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

Li Xiuying looked at the closed door before her. She didn't ask to be here again. She didn't make any oaths of revenge as her blood seeped out of her veins soaking the ground. She didn't want to deal with any unfinished business. She had no one to live for. She was resigned to her fate and saw death as her freedom from her nightmarish reality. Regardless of which of her realities was a dream or 'real' she was here now and now that she was forced to live again she would treat it as an opportunity.

On Li Xiuying's face, an almost imperceptible smile appeared. She made a vow to herself and the universe: 'In this life, I will make it rain the blood of my enemies.'