Chapter 5 - I Call Your Name

December 31, 2022

9:43 pm

"It's nearly a new year and I don't remember what sparked such joy but the spark stayed aflame…."

This is what I wrote for Aileen a week ago on a note as I see if now on the floor.It's lost trash I found around as I looked at it again and laughed at this thought as I don't feel this flame no more.I found this note underneath the couch as I got up and threw it away in the kitchen trash can.

In the moment I threw it away, Aileen entered the living room from the bedroom.

"You hungry ?" She asked as I replied

"What are you thinking ?"

She got near Me as we held each other in a slow dance as she said

"Hmm I'm thinking we go out, instead of dining in ….like Dennys or something ?"

I thought about as we slow danced in silence, it was soothing.

"Alright- alright let's go out but you're paying ….hehe …" I said Jokingly as she remarked

"I always do baby …"

We kissed in a lust as the words she said really struck with me now.I pushed her away for a moment as she was distraught,

"What- what's wrong ?" She asked as I walked towards the kitchen sink as I looked at her anger.

"what's wrong- what's wrong ?- really ?, you make me feel bad with our current money situation and you want to ask what's wrong !?"

She was more concerned as she said

"No I didn't mean it like that- I'm joking with you baby, don't get so butt hurt … "

She got towards as she tried to flirtatiously hold me again as she kissed my shoulder then went towards my neck and face.

I was hypnotized once again by this girl as I apologized,

"Alright, I'm sorry for getting mad- let's go eat baby …."

I turned and held her again as I got her up had her against the kitchen sink table top.She giggled from the noise we made in the moment as she said

"Come on, not right now…haha- I'm hungry right now …"

We make out as she does stop my pushes to do it right then and there.

"I'm serious okay ?, let's go eat please …" I back away as she got down from the table top as I walked out of the apartment in fury as she followed me.She locked the door on our way out as I got to the elevator fast as I held it for us.She caught up as she checked herself as she had her keys and money.

we got to the elevator as it was silent again, some peace for the moment.It dinged as people came out, a couple with there little three year old child.They walked by as we got out of the way as the child kept eyeing me down in amazement; you know the face, the derpy and goofy one kids have.

I waved at it as it kept walking aside the father as I just love that thought; fatherhood.

"That's adorable ain't it ?" I said as Aileen replied

"It's so fucking adorable- we should have a baby …"

We got in the elevator as she sounded like she was joking but it really hit me; I've lost my parents and feel the need to keep our name going.I mean my sister may have her kids but our kid will be elite.

"Let's have baby then …" I said as she clicked the floor 1 button; I had her against the wall as we breath heavily.

"Oh not right here-" she said as I interrupted her with a passionate- and I mean a passionate kiss.I grabbed her around as we held each other for a minute as each lust of our tongues desiring each other as we got to floor 1.

The elevator door kept opening and closing as it went back up.It caught us off guard as I let go and went back to our regular manor.We stood aside each other as floor 2 open and a big fat man walked in.We separated as he got in and asked Aileen "going down ?" As she replied

"Hmm- yes …"

He clicked it as we didn't make no eye contact but can feel the laughter to ensue as she licked her lips as my heart pounced in such a stress-free pleasure.

The door opened as the big fat man got out in a heavy breath as we go to it together as we held hands.We held hands.We haven't done this in a long time, our way of showing affection to each other is fighting, sad to admit but it's true.

10:45 pm

We got to a Denny's as we were seated quickly due to the time."So can I get y'all started on drinks or appetizers?" Asked the waiter as me and Aileen looked at each other as we gave each other silly faces.

"Uhhh, I think we'll have water for now …."

The waiter nodded happily as he replied

"Alright great, I'll be back shortly and just take your time and think about what to eat …."

We thanked him as we got back to us, our topic of discussion was a baby.

"So I really know it's a big thing to ask for from you-" I said as she interrupted in all seriousness.

"Do you have a job ?" I got angered fast as I said

"No " to each of her next questions.

"Do you have a license ?"

"Are you going to college ?"

"Do you have any experience with raising a child ?"

I sighed with each question as she finished with,

"Then I don't think we can really have a baby right now….seems stupid to do so …"

The waiter came back as he had two cups of waters ready for us as he laid it down for us.

"Here you go and don't worry it ain't no tap water, it's toilet water…." He said as we caught his humor fast, we laughed as we thanked him.

"Okay are you guys ready to order yet or a bit more time ?" We looked at each other as I felt ready but she didn't quite look right.

"I think….I think we're ready ?" I assumed as she nodded and said the order for us.

"Uhh- yea we're getting two super slams…."

He wrote it fast as he asked Aileen

"Alright….oh will that be all ?"

Felt awkward in the moment as we both said yes, he took our menus.

"Alright it'll be here shortly, thanks for choosing Dennys today…. You could've gone somewhere worse like IHOP …."

We laughed again as he walked away, guy was a funny guy.

"Oh I like him, very funny huh ?" She said as I took a sip from my water and agreed.

It silent again but I quickly absorbed it and ambushed her again with the question.

"So the baby situation ?" She was bothered as she replied

"Oh drop it please !- I don't wanna talk about that right now-" I cut her talk short as I said

"Look just hear me out please …."

She fixed her posture as she laid back on her seat as I was stunned to have gotten her attention now.

"Oh you're actually listening- alright- umm…. Okay ! " I cleared my throat,

"Look, I know we're young but we're not getting any younger- we just get older and with each day passing is just time missed with a kid around.You know having a source of reasoning to live and try in this world.Plus just imagine how fucking beautiful and adorable our baby would look.Look I don't say this to you much- which I should more often- you're beautiful and gorgeous and I'm fucking handsome; our baby would be unstoppable."

She started laughing as she had her happy demeanor change as she had tears of joy for a moment.I was confused as I said

"What's- what's wrong baby ?" She cleared her throat and slowly stopped the tears and replied

"Nothing I'm just glad you sound committed to this because….because I'm already pregnant …."

I jumped as my eyes burst like a star about to collapse on itself.

"Holy shit….holy shit …. How do you know for sure- are you fucking with me- I hope you're not- you serious ?" She kept nodded in tears as I was as happy as god can intend for a human in these type of moments.The waiter came back in the moment as I was jumping with joy as he placed the food down.

"Damn the grand slam ain't that good man …. Hehe "I laughed shortly as I fixed myself as I replied

"It's not that- no I mean…." I looked at Aileen as she had that look of acceptance.

"My girls pregnant man…I'm gonna be a father !"

I said proudly as he seemed more happy than I did

"Oh my Fucking god- that's that's- that's fucking amazing….congratulations- holy shit …. You know what … imma tell it's your birthday hold up …."

He left quickly as Aileen tried to stop him but he kept going; I was still thinking of what she said as I could just picture all the great memories we'll have in the future.

"I gotta- I gotta call my sister; fuck holding a grudge of having bad blood this'll clear it…. " I said as I pulled out my phone as I quickly called her.The worker was quickly back as he arrived with others to sing happy birthday quickly as Aileen felt overcome with joy and overcome with embarrassment from the workers.

They left shortly as our waiter gave us a refill on our water as he said "congratulations again darling …" he walked away as my sister answered.

"Hey….hey I know we don't talk much but I have to tell you….I have to tell you I'm having a baby …."

From Aileen perspective she sees me looking serious for the moment as my sister was surprised.

"I know I know, it's fucking great- I feel great …."

I got up as I excused myself for the moment as Aileen sat alone.She looked out the window to see a happy couple walking with their child as it was carrying a red balloon in joy.

This made her feel more happy and tear from the thoughts of having to do that one day soon.She drank her water in peace as I can't really tell you how she felt but she looked amused to be experiencing such thing not many get to in this world.

March 9, 2023

"You're crazy !" I yelled as we paced around the living room, she was angry as the baby bump started showing slowly.She held a hammer this time as she threw it but missed as I ducked; it stuck to the wall.I was on my ass as she approached.

I was angry but I have to restrain from doing something barbaric towards her; I could only accept a smack or defend myself properly.

"You gotta stop baby come on …." I said as she kicked me twice until she started feeling a small pain as I got up and aided her to the living room couch.

"Come on lay down- Ah " I said as she scratched my arm as she groaned.She watched Grey's Anatomy as I stood beside her and asked

"You want some water ?" She gave me a mean stare as I walked away slowly to exit the apartment.

"I'll give you some space …. Call me if you need me; I'll be downstairs…."

I got out of this war zone as I took a breather, I hate to admit this small addiction that started for a month ago.

I went into my coat jacket as I got out this pill bottle I know is going of be the death of me.I take halcion and Oxycodone, for now I pleasure my pain with Oxy; I downed two as I started to go to the elevator.The walk through the hallways were a hassle now as I get more drowsy nowadays.

I click on it as it opens as I get to the first floor, I walk out of the place I look around to see the neighborhood thriving.I always have the itch of Gothic Avenue on my mind and I can't throw the ick of what could've been if I stayed.

"Hey you for a light ?" Asked a neighbor, his names Mackenzie, Mac for short.

"Oh Mac, don't you know those things will kill you one day …" I said jokingly as he did as well but he started to cough.I grabbed his shoulder as I asked

"You alright " he let go as he replied

"I'd be better with that light …."

He had a cigarette ready from his box as I looked at him in disappointment.This old man can be living life and enjoying his last moments with friends or family but he decides to smoke his life- rest of his life away.

Regardless, I shall not deny a man what he's allowed and earned.I pulled out this lighter with an astrological design as he thanked me as he got his quick exhale.

"Ohh….I really don't know if this life was for me you know …" he said as we both stood outside the apartment as the noise around made the moment depressing.It silent until he said

"You know …" he took another puff

"You know I never understood this world or anything of it but I've made this far….73 years in this word and no complaints until now …..I read once…. It said, "I find no purpose to end my life but no reason to keep living….", it's a really beautiful that really can keep this shitty world feel like paradise …."

It was silent as as his wisdom really gave me hope for Aileen and our baby boy.He kept talking as I really did listen,

"You and Aileen….it's real nice to hear and I want y'all to know…. That boys gonna be a tuff son a bitch like his father …. Hehe …. I'll see you around Sid …." He patted me on the back as he went back inside as I smiled for a moment from his kind words.

It's very odd that he knew the gender of the baby as me and Aileen haven't told anyone but Janis and Ross and I know they don't know Mac.I looked back into the apartment as in the hallways I see no one; very strange world.

It's the same day but it's 6:34 pm now, I laid on the couch with Aileen as we watched WALL-E.I looked over as her as she slowly began to fall asleep on my lap.I watched the movie as I was so Mesmerized, this film a big staple of my childhood; it takes me back to Gothic Avenue.

April 14, 2011

4140 Gothic Avenue, Virginia

7:35 pm

A two bedroom small home with a little attic, it was a livid blue colored home with a small driveway.A 1956 F100 stood there, a menacing beauty; kind of like Aileen.It had a cherry red paint job and the front of our home had a bright white picket fence with a pink flamingo statue standing aside our mailbox.Inside was my childhood, mom had dinner ready as she prepared spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread and she had a plate full of macarons.It was me, my sister and both our parents, we sat peacefully as we ate in silence for the moment.

The table was a light blue and rectangular prison that held these enjoyable moments secure for the time being.The chairs we sat on were modern chair with arms and the back post was soft vision colored and layered red.The rest of the chair was colored black and the plates were all the different ones we all have claimed as our own.I had a circular plate with a Star Wars design My sister had a ceramic pink plate with a dragon fish design.My mom and dad both have a simple white squared shaped plate that they thoroughly enjoy.

My dad sat in the direction that faced the living room window and mom faced the kitchen.I sat where I faced the garage door and my sister faced the hallways.This little dining room was a little pocket dimension of what could've been in my life for so many dinners here set the course for most of our lives.

The little radio we have on the kitchen counter played whatever little mix my dad made.It played I Call Your Name by The Mamas And The Papas; the most amazing song to me.The music only complimented our theme of choice for the topic was school.

I dressed in my Star Wars pajamas as my star dressed in pajama pants with a white ringer t shirt.Mom was in a pink mini dress as dad had on a white t-shirt and striped boxers.Since the flooring was rug, we wore no shoes at all; just our feet.

"How's school been honey ?" Mom asked my sister as she replied

"It's bullshit …" forks and knifes clanked from them both as I continued eating.

"Hey !" yelled father as mother added on

"What your mouth young lady, now why was it bullshit ?"

We went back to eating as usual as my sister explained,

"Well overhear other kids talk about the nice and prestigious colleges they'll go to and I'm over here getting ready for community college …" she was annoyed and frustrated as my dad spoke for my mom.

"Well listen honey….hmm this is good you actually this ?" He said to mom as he got distracted but went back to my sister, "listen it doesn't matter if you don't go to a big college as long as you get the education you know you can handle and are encouraged enough to do something in life….plus many successful people didn't go to college …"

Mom agreed as she added on

"He's right, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs …Harrison ford " my father choked on his food as he asked

"That's odd ain't it …. You name tow geniuses and then boom Harrison Ford …" the two bickered as mom said

"What you know I love Harrison Ford …" my father took a sip of his cup of water as he remarked

"Yea but Jobs made apple and Gates with windows and you just name Han Solo ? Seems odd don't it ?"

The whole conversation was stuck on these two debating on this Ford problem now.

"Why are you getting so perplexed over this ?" Asked my mom as my father was shocked.

"Perplexed, did you say perplexed ? How am I perplexed ? I don't care if you said Gerald, John, Robert or even Henry Ford but it's the fact you said Harrison Ford….fucking Indiana Jones …. In the same circle of success with Bill Gates and Steve jobs - I'm for my language but come on… Harrison Ford ?"

He went back to my sister as she ate and kept her attention on the two.

"Look… what we're trying to say is, don't be so stressed on others; worrying about others will make your life miserable…."

She took that into account as we all went back to eating as my mom had this focused look on my dad.She stopped as she looked at me and changed her demeanor and smiled as she asked

"Is it good Sid ?" I nodded as I had a few macarons in my plate, I enjoyed each one.She giggled and said "good I hope it's good, I'm just so happy we're all good family …."

Now I snapped out of it as Aileen awoke me from this nightmare of a thought.

"Sid ….Sid …." She whispered as I said

"Yes ?" She snuggled more as she asked

"Can you carry me to bed …" I got up quickly as i Carried her up and replied

"Of course, anything for you …." She was a bit heavier but it's what it is.I got her to bed as she slept peacefully.I got to the living room as I turned off the tv and and had all the lights off but the one in the bedroom.I looked at Aileen as I still smile at the thought that she's carrying my baby, I can't believe it; fatherhood.