Yami's hardest battle yet! And Laughing Coffin attacks - Welcome to the Happy Farm my dudes

Yami was currently facing the hardest battle he had ever since coming to SAO. Even after 35 Floors, this was a fight which needed all of his concentration!

He was sweating as his own health was already in the red, just like his enemy's!

At the same time the boss-ship was nearly defeated as well, but he was getting cornered!

And meanwhile he had to hold the perfect timing!

Meanwhile the band was rocking its heart out!

Both of the avatars threw a punch at each other, whoever would land the first hit would win! And the other one would lose everything!

[The constellation "People die when they get killed" is in awe at your wisdom!]

His shot and the UFO-boss's shot were fired simultaneously he needed to dodge immediately!

Yami's mind was running at high speed trying to do EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME!

The music was kicking in HARD at the moment of truth! Both fists landed on the face of the other!

"That's my heart beat anew!!𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮"

Yami's ship moved at the same instant and he barely avoided his "death".

Both the health bars went down until… the enemy's went to zero and Yami's was almost not

visible anymore.

"Winner!"

"FLAWLESS VICTORY!"

"METALLURGY!"

"Aaaaand, we're done."

"Seriously, who made the smithing system this fucked up?!"

[The constellation "Abridged" is sending its regards.]

Yes, Yami was currently practicing smithing. And it was really hard to the point that it was nearly impossible. He had to do several mini-games SIMULTANEOUSLY! He didn't have his "Perfect Brain", thus it was a lot, A LOT harder! Important things need to be said twice.

"My deepest respect to Lizbeth for being able to do this. If I had a hat I would take it off. F. However, now not even her smithing capabilities are needed anymore… On that note, I should probably send one of the girls to watch over Silica. Liz is not a problem since she is a complete shut in. Asuna still became "friends" with her, at least she phrased it that way. Although I'm honestly not sure if the process was normal…"

Yami remembered the scene where Asuna burned down Lizbeth's shop.

(Don't get onto the bad side of a Yandere who has arson!)

"Hey Yami, whatcha doin'?"

[The constellation "A platypus? Perry the platypus!" is asking; Hey where's Perry?]

(Oh shit, speaking of the devil…)

"Hey Asuna, what brings you here?"

They were currently inside a house that Yami bought. It was on the 20th Floor, just like the guild base of the Shadow Foxes since they came over to him more often. They were getting closer to him and spent more time with him since they knew that Yami finally accepted them as women. Although until now only Raphtalia had gotten the true honor to be able to call herself his "wife".

"I sent you a message saying that we are going to meet up on the 35th Floor that was opened just yesterday. And because you didn't come I went to get you."

Yami looked at his messages, and indeed, there was one from Asuna and one from Sinon. But until recently he had been a bit "preoccupied" since the girls and him went to Paradise to "celebrate" the quick ascension to the 35th Floor. And once he got back he instantly started smithing because of a new project of his.

"By the way, why are you smithing so many weapons?"

"Oh, I promised the "Shadow Foxes" to make personal weapons for all of them."

This was the other reward that they got after working very hard, besides spending "wholesome time" with Yami. He had already planned to personally craft them their weapons and gathered quite a bit of resources while the girls fought the bosses.

"You are really close to them, aren't you? You still never explained to us your relationship with them."

Yami stored all the different kinds of weapons and looked at Asuna, however, his gaze was a bit more serious than normally.

"Do you really want to know?"

At that time Asuna got a bit more uncertain. Why would Yami ask such a question? But she really wanted to know, even if it seemed that it was a grievous topic. Thus she gave a hesitant nod.

"I… am their god and future husband."

With these unreasonable words Yami went past Asuna and walked towards the teleporter to meet up with the SAO girls that were waiting.

Asuna was left dumbfounded at what he said.

"Are you kidding me?"

Of course Asuna thought that what he said was a joke and that he was just messing with her. Even the truth sometimes sounds more like a lie.

- - -

The party met up and after a short explanation they went to the 35th Floor. The field dungeon where they went was called Forest of Wandering. It is the one where Slílica was almost killed by the ape monsters and where Pina died.

The Forest of Wandering dungeon is a vast forest located in the north of the 35th Floor. Like all field dungeons, it is a popular target for players of average level, due to the Clearers almost entirely focusing on clearing the Labyrinth areas of each floor. As the name implies, it is easy to get lost in the forest. In addition to the forest being full of large, towering trees, which divide the forest into areas like a chess board, players within the forest will be transferred to a random area in the forest one minute after setting foot in their current area. Additionally, if Teleportation Crystals are used within the forest, they transport the player to another area in the forest instead of a town. To exit the forest, the player must go through each area in the forest within a minute each.

Well, they were one of the first players to step foot in it and thus not much information was known about it. Luckily Yami remembered a bit about it from the Wiki he read out of boredom. But Yami had bought a map that was available for a high price.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Yami said as he set foot inside the forest.

(All the teleportation is going to be a pain in the ass.)

They all started to move to explore the new area. Their goal was to first take a look at the areas around the 35th Floor. Since they are probably the strongest "players" in the game, they were the best ones to do such a job and if they were the first ones to discover a good item or a neat leveling spot, it would be very advantageous.

Just at that moment Yami noticed a few players who had stealth activated. If he didn't have a very high perception stat, they would have gone unnoticed.

(Hmm. I don't really know what's going on but I have a hunch… Right, I did get a report from Hanekawa that a guild Laughing Coffin was created. The demi-humans are really great spies and assassins! Well, they are pretty much good at many things related to fighting, they can take down boss after boss after all. Maybe I should use them as a personal guard rather than a assassination devision? Yes, if I want to make them all my women then that would be better than them just being a division of my future army, they do have the qualifications for that after all… Oh, I have gotten side-tracked again, that seems to happen often…)

"Watch out."

The girls didn't know why Yami said that, but they all trusted him wholeheartedly. He had already saved their lives several times in dangerous situations.

"In the name of Jesus!"

Yami didn't even look as he spun the dagger he was currently using 180° and stabbed behind himself. The only thing he did was crack his own neck to both sides. That seemed to be a "badass habit" similar to Kaneki cracking his fingers.

"If you are going to sneak attack me, don't scream!"

At that moment the girls finally realized what just happened. They were shocked. Right in front of their eyes Yami had just stabbed at another player without even giving them a glance.

In real life the dagger that stuck right into the throat of the Laughing Coffin member would have killed the person instantly, but since in SAO the HP was what counted, Yami didn't wait for a moment.

He let go of the dagger stuck in the throat and spun/turned around. now looking at the shocked eyes behind a white skull mask. There was already another dagger stabbed right into the heart of the assassin, which Yami had "trace on"-ed in the one second he spun around. With one dagger in his throat, one was just stabbed into his chest by Yami's left arm, the Laughing Coffin "believer" saw something completely unreasonable; a brightly glowing sword was coming at his head while the attacker was still holding a dagger. Such a thing was practically impossible!

However, he didn't even have enough time to understand how it happened, as his head was already cut off from his body, his brain was destroyed by the Nerve-Gear and his avatar exploded into blue particles.

With the superior Level, weapon and Sword Skills, Yami had killed another player within just 3 moves. In under 5 seconds!

Everyone was staring at the scene in front of them with wide eyes. In shock and disbelief. The girls couldn't believe that Yami had just killed a player. And the two other assassins couldn't believe how fast and in what way their comrade had been killed.

"One down, two left."

Although he wasn't in his Sung Drip Woo form, he wouldn't let this perfect badass opportunity slide.

[The constellation "Shadow Monarch" is liking your performance. 250 Points have been sponsored.]

At that moment he glanced at the other two. The two killers who had already killed over a dozen people each started to shiver under his gaze.

"Jesus, give me power!"

It appeared that the leader of Laughing Coffin; "PoH" was also the Abridged Version; "Jeffrey". A delusional young man who thinks that Jesus speaks to him and tells him to kill.

(Ironic.)

Since he was pretty much the being closest to Jesus this prayer was funny.

However, at this moment the world seemed to have mercy upon this poor soul since the 1 minutes time limit was up and everyone was teleported somewhere else.

Yami now found still himself inside the forest, surrounded by trees. But the scenery was a bit different, making it obvious that he had been teleported.

He took out the map and quickly found where he was. But since he still needed to find the other girls he just went into the direction which his feelings chose, which was north. There were also the other two assassins running around. Yami didn't believe that they could kill the girls since they were a lot stronger and higher level, but they would probably not be able to kill other humans either…

(Well, Abridged Asuna killed Kuradeel without a second thought and Sinon has already killed someone before… Alice would probably also not have much of a problem since she is an AI and if someone tries to kill her, she would probably defeat that person, but would she kill him or spare him? She is not a human after all and I don't know whether she has such morals or not…)

He just walked into one direction, his feelings told him, for about five minutes. He encountered some apes, but they were pretty much one shot with his high level.

At that moment he heard something. Not something, it was obviously a scream.

(That's… Sinon.)

He could already guess what was going on and his prediction proved itself right as he found Sinon laying on all fours, while she vomited. Although nothing came out since such a thing wasn't programmed, her body still did it like she would in the real world.

Seeing someone get killed in front of her must have re-awakened her trauma. Poor her. But this was also a chance as well.

Sinon was shivering and there were also tears forming in her eyes. All the things she didn't want to remember, all the things that haunted her, all of it came back. But in the middle of all this coldness and helplessness she felt warmth. The warmth spread and quickly filled up her whole body, making her stop shivering and feeling safe at that moment.

"Shhh. Everything will be alright. I'm here with you."

Yami said while stroking her back and embracing her as if she was a child that needed to be consoled.

{You are going to be a great father!}

[The constellation "God is a girl" is nodding.]

He just ignored them at the moment since he was preoccupied with the cute girl that was sobbing in his arms.

"Stand. You can do it, you are a strong girl. And even if you can't, I will be here to lend you my shoulder and hand, to rely on. Even if you repent and cry. I will be with you until all your tears are spent. No matter if it is as a comrade or friend. No matter how deep into hell you went, for your sins, I will be there to mend, your wounds."

[The constellation "Goethe" doesn't know whether he should be impressed by the rhymes you came up with that on the fly, or if he should just laugh at the bullshit you came up with on the fly.]

(Goethe, you can stick your "Faust'' up your ass! Do you know how awful the literature is to read! School should really change what they teach. It is pure tortue! Well, at least Luzifer is cool.)

[The constellation "Plagiarist God" is smiling at the name Luzifer knowingly.]

(It is called inspiration! I-n-s-p-i-r-a-t-i-o-n! Not like you who is only copying things one to one! Wait, I'm getting sidetracked again, that is really happening too often!)

While Yami had his short rant about what is taught in German lessons, Sinon had stopped crying and looked at him with a gaze that was shaking but determined at the same time. It seemed that the Bullshit no Jutsu was as overpowered as ever. The word "strong" had impacted her very much, which was also the reason why Yami said that thing that wasn't even a rhyme.

"How- how can you be so strong? You just killed a person. How can you still stand tall and even given your shoulder to another person to cry on?"

(Strong? You call someone who killed a person in front of your eyes without any emotions, strong? Shouldn't that be called a psychopath?)

But of course Yami didn't say such a rant since this would probably destroy the chance he had. Because the 1 minute was approaching once again, Yami grabbed her and stood up. Now Sinon was in a princess carry.

At this moment all of Sinon's fears and trauma suddenly just disappeared. The warmth she had felt was now filling all of her. She felt safe and content. She clung onto Yami, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her previously erratic heartbeat sped up even more, however, now it was beating evenly again. There was a particular warmth in her heart as she looked at Yami's very very handsome face.

The feelings that she had been building up inside of her for all this time that they fought together exploded outwards at that moment.

If the affection system were available in the SAO world, Sinon's affection would now surpass 100. Meaning that once she went to Paradise she would instantly undergo evolution.

Although she herself had never truly believed in any of the stories, the story of a knight being there for her in her time of need was very similar to what was currently happening.

Even though Yami was still running with Sinon in his arms, trying to find the other girls or one of the two Laughing Coffin members, he was paying attention to Sinon. As he wasn't a dense harem MC, he had taken notice of her changes and smiled internally. This went really well.

"Yami-kun!"

Yami was still confused about the "kun" part, but at least he knew that it was Leafa.

The moment Leafa saw Yami holding Sinon in a princess carry, a lot of different emotions appeared and disappeared inside her eyes for a moment.

Her best friend looked to be very intimate with the boy she liked, of course that was a big problem for the girls to process properly.

Both of the girls looked at each other but then averted their eyes because they couldn't bear to look at the other. They both had already noticed the affection that their best friend had for Yami, but now that it had come to this none of them knew what to say or do. They were both helpless.

Knowing that they are going to probably all be randomly teleported once again if he let them be, Yami carefully put down Sinon and grabbed her hand. Pulling her along with him he also took Leafa's hand and dragged them with him.

None of them put up any resistance since they were too focused on the "LEWD!" fact that Yami and they were holding hands. Hopefully they don't get pregnant.

Their minds started to interpret the meaning behind his actions in the way that both of them wanted it; he wanted both of them.

This was a conclusion that was totally dumb to arrive at, however, since the other girl was their own best friend, they wouldn't mind if they were to share him. Poligamy wasn't a thing in the modern world of SAO, different from the Main world where it was common. So how the hell did it go like that? Well, the Probability floating around both the girls would be the explanation for that.

Yami was a bit annoyed by the lags and bugs that appeared because of the Probability, but it was a small price to pay for salvation.

[The constellation "Thanos" is a bit confused because of one of the titles that he found in your Status.]

A painful headache came to Yami at that moment.

"Die!!"

But the shout that suddenly came from his right was more important. It was obvious that at least one of the girls was fighting at least one of the Laughing Coffin members.

However, the strange thing was that the one who shouted "die" was a female voice; Asuna.

Yami dragged both the girls with him who now held his hands out of their own volition.

As they arrived at the next "zone" of the forest they saw Asuna, Alice and one of the Laughing Coffin members.

Alice had just deflected the sword that was headed at her neck and Asuna used this opening to pierce the assailant with her rapier.

The Laughing Coffin member was knocked back and smashed into a tree.

Before the ugly guy could stand up again, Alice put the tip of her sword in front of him.

"Why did you attack us?"

Alice questioned the man. She really didn't understand why another human would attack them, they were all stuck in here after all and wasn't it their goal to clear the 100th Floor?

"Why? Because you are the bitches that are helping the ascension of Floors the most besides those animal eared sluts! Why do you want to go back to the real world where you are treated like shit if you can stay in this world?!"

At that moment Yami cracked his neck once again as his eyes squinted while looking at this pathetic man; Kuradeel.

(Kuradeel already joined Laughing Coffin? Well, at least I can deal with him now already. Especially after his words just now…)

Asuna had squinted her eyes as well after hearing what Kuradeel had said. Her eyes looked at him as if he was already dead and the moment he looked her in the eyes he literally peed his pants. She slowly but surely walked towards him, each step as if she was an executioner walking up to the stage.

Knowing that he was going to die, Kuradeel threw his sword away and planted his head onto the ground.

"You know, people always think being called a "bitch" is so negative. But frankly, I just think it shows how you're strong, and confident, and absolutely fucking terrifying! Please don't kill me!!"

Somehow this sight reminded Yami of a pig. A very very ugly pig. No, pigs were actually way cuter than this maggot on the ground.

"God, you're pathetic. I'll let Yami decide how to deal with you. I don't want your stinking blood on my hands."

"Really?"

There was a sliver of hope in the eyes of the maggot.

"NO!!"

Asuna stabbed right at Kuradeel, however, her rapier was intercepted by Yami.

"Let me handle him."

She looked at him with still squinted eyes, but decided that she should probably let him do how he pleased, she couldn't stop him anyways.

Yami grabbed Kuradeel by his neck and walked towards another area. The girls also did the same to avoid the teleportation, although they went into another direction since they knew that Yami wanted to deal with the maggot alone.

(Eve, can I take this caterpillar to Paradise?)

{Yes. If you teleport with him, the connection to the System will just be cut. They won't understand a thing. And there aren't any other complications.}

(How about the strength of the person? If I take a level 100 Asuna with me to Paradise or rather, the Main world, will she just be a normal human?)

{No, Asuna would be way stronger than a normal human. That's because of Probability. She has constantly fought and trained and thus her power has risen. To be honest, SAO is a pretty good spot to become stronger for normal human girls, since they can constantly fight and train and thus they would get stronger faster than normally in the Main world since there fights are not as common.}

Because of her words Yami had an idea, but that had to wait. The important thing right now was to "take care" of this worm.

He teleported to Paradise. After that he sent a message to Esdeath through Eve. It didn't even take her half a minute to appear in front of him.

"I have a order for you; Torute this man, he dared to call my people "sluts"."

At that moment the already shaking Kuradeel was starting to get frozen in ice because of Esdeath's rage. The demi-humans were like her little sisters and this imbecile dared to say something like that. She wanted nothing more than to tortue him just like her master hand ordered her to.

"I'm very grateful for entrusting such a task to me, Yami-sama."

She grabbed the cockroach by his hair and dragged him behind herself towards her ice-palace. His hands, feet and mouth were already frozen by her to make sure that this unbearable bug wouldn't try running, screaming, talking to her or even have the greatest audacity to try and touch her body that was "blessed" by her master, in an attempt to attack her and free himself.

Next, Esdeath called Tsunade over, since she was the only one who was able to heal the injuries that Esdeath was about to inflict upon this slug. Raphtalia and the other girls were learning how to use magic and that included healing magic as well, but they wouldn't be able to heal the horrible and excruciatingly painful wounds that Esdeath was going to inflict upon this trash.

Different from Esdeath, Tsunade wasn't a sadist, but once she heard that it was a order from Yami and what he said about the cute demi-humans, she cracked her knuckles and compiled under the condition that she would also take part in making sure that this bagworm would get a hellish punishment.

One where he would beg to die.

[The constellation "Nabe" is approving of the names given to this lower life form.]

[The constellation "Happy Farm" is smiling a devilish smile.]