To Be

I lived a very normal childhood. I was born into a middle class nuclear family. I had parents that cared about me very much, and a sister who coddled me like a baby. life was good, I was happy, but not happy enough. If I could do it all over, the one thing I'd change would be that I enjoyed the time of ignorance more than I did.

From the day I was endowed with a spirit even before I was born, my destiny was decided.

Thinking back, it was really broken what they did to me as a little child. It was as if they were placing a massive weight on the shoulders on a child who had barely even made it to puberty. I was fourteen years old when the life changing information was written into my mind.

Some people may have a great desire for what I have. Some people may be envious, or some people may suffer because they don't have what I have. I mean, who doesn't want power?

Power is only good when you have just enough to make you happy, but not enough to force you to take responsibility over others.

When I was fourteen years old, engrained in my mind, was that I would one day become God. I don't mean only one of the gods of some polytheistic religion either, I was destined to become God of the universe: timeline, energy, matter, galaxies, planets, people, animals.

It came down to me overnight in a dream.

********

"Ceville"

said an ominous female voice that seemed to come from out of thin air. 

["WHO GOES THERE!"]

Ceville unconsciously concluded: 'I must be dreaming, cause I certainly thought I heard a voice.' 

"I am meant to give you instruction."

["What kind of insan---"]

Interrupting Ceville completely, the voice says, "You will not ascend as other sentients will. You are to go through life through a loop, each time starting anew. You will be able to remember all the experience that you've gained from you previous lives though. You will experience life many times. If I had to put a number on it, it would Definity be in the trillions."

Ceville thought to himself: 'Ok, so it doesn't seem to listen to me at all. Although, it's quite surprising that I am able to think so clearly within such a stupid dream. I should listen anyway, It's rare for me to get lucid dreams like this'

["why though? will all these lives be exactly the same? why tell me now?"]

"You will go to completely different worlds each time, some with physics that you wouldn't even be able to comprehend, others that are exactly like the world you live in with only a few minor details altered."

"The reason you are being sent through this training is so that you can learn as much as you can about the universes that others have built. This is an apprenticeship, you will be able to learn how God rules." 

Ceville scoffs*

["What would make me need to know all of that? Whatever random drawing I won, I don't want this cursed prize, just send me to wherever everyone else goes. Who is God anyway, couldn't he have just told me all of this information himself?"]

["Probably just too lazy*"] Ceville said under his breath.

"This was predicted...but I didn't think you'd be this stupid"

" No, you cannot just throw away your duty. You need to know all of "this" because you are to become God some day. Also, unfortunately, God is "on vacation", if you know what I mean."

["Well, I guess you can say more than what you were lazily programmed with then... You know, you talk big game for someone who was only made to give me a tutorial."]

*akward silence* 

["Wait. Did you just say God was on vacation? I actually do not know what you mean. Also, what kind of work would make God tired?"]

"Well maybe if such a "lazily programmed" machine is an annoyance to your lazy life of being waited on hand and foot by your family, then they should get out of your way. Unfortunately though, the machine was given direct instructions to give you that cannot be ignored.....So I will have to put up with you until I've explained everything that you need to know about your duties."

"Anyway, moving on from your petty squabbling, God doesn't get tired, but rather.... lets just say he dumped all of his work onto me until he gets back from his very long vacation. That's as specific as I can get until you finish your trials."

["You know, this dream seems oddly real."] Ceville whispered to himself

This was the moment when the possibility of this being real crossed his mind. He did not want to believe that what he was hearing was real. Ceville was someone who strived for power, however, actually being God would be way too annoying. Especially after making his own conclusion off the information the tutorial gave him that God had just retired from his job and needed a successor. This job that he was being forced into didn't sound very appealing to him.

"I think that should be enough information for you in this life. Your minds too....fragile. Anyways, point is, learn as much as you possible can in this life and in every life, if you don't put in effort I will kill you myself." 

Then in a scarily cheerful voice for the previous statement the tutorial said, "bye bye for now".

After sitting on his bed for three hours, Ceville eventually came to the conclusion that he must've been hallucinating. Then let himself pass out. Ceville wasn't affected by a normal school schedule despite being fourteen. This was because he pretended he was so painfully dumb that he would never even make it past elementary school. Which allowed him to be taken out of school, and he has never had to deal with it since.

After pondering about what had happened for about 5 minutes after waking up, Cev went to eat breakfast with his sister before she left for school. His parents always leave for work long before Cev wakes up.

Cevilles sister Mya is a beautiful young woman with jett black hair. She has a normal stature, but the clothes that she wears accentuate her "female features". She has deep aqua blue eyes that could make any man fall for her in an instant if she were to meet eyes with him. Her nickname from high school was medusa.

In the middle of breakfast, Cev finally processed the threat that tutorial made to him right before she departed.

"If you don't put in any effort I will kill you myself" 

He dropped his fork, and sat there with a surprised expression seemingly forgetting how to move. However, it was not due to fear. He had nothing but thought to himself that he had figured out what his dream (totally not a dream though) meant.

Cev convinced himself that his dream was actually his brain telling him that it wanted as much information as possible. Fortunately for Cev, due to not being in school whatsoever, he had infinite free time on his hands.

Previously to this, he had spent his time working out and playing online gambling games until his sister got back from school. Before this he hadn't given his lifestyle a second thought, but as soon as the thought came into his mind, it was set in stone.

"Cev!!"

Ceville instantly snapped out of his deep trance at the sound of his sisters shout.

["Yes Mya?"]

"what where you thinking about just now Cev?" Mya said in a curious voice.

["I was thinking about how I would like to start up my studies again. I had a dream last night that inspired me to learn as much as I can in this short time that I have in this life. Therefore, starting tomorrow I will begin self-studies on the core subjects."]

"Little brother! That's very wise of you, I will support you all the way." said Mya in a cheery voice.

["Um...Mya. I wanted to ask you if you might be willing to help me out if I didn't understand something? Within reason of course."]

"It's the big sisters job to guide and help my little brother in his path. If it is something that I know, I will gladly help you out given that I have enough time to. Naturally due to me starting college I will have a lot more work, so I cannot assure that I will always have time. Just make sure that you don't rely on others too much, you need to learn how to learn for yourself. Knowing how difficult of a time learning you've had in the past, it could be good to go at your own pace anyways. Don't feel pressured to rush your education." Mya said in a very unusually serious voice for her.

Typically Mya is a cheerful girl who is often times the class clown. She doesn't take things seriously too often, so when Cev heard her speak so seriously to him, he knew this would be very important to not only him, but Mya as well.

["Mya"]

"Yes?"

["what where you majoring in at college anyways?"]

Taken aback by this, Mya in a disappointed tone said, "Well I would've thought you'd know this by now speaking that I've been talking about it every day for years. But I don't know what I expected knowing you dear brother. Anyways... to answer your question, I am training to be a surgeon."

At this statement, it set in how much of a scumbag Cev had really been to his family. There was no doubt he had at least a little love and respect for his family. Although he had never treated them like his family before. He had always seen them more as caretakers, only people who were meant to take care of him until he could take care of himself.

Cev had been mooching off of his family for his whole life and didn't realize it until he was fourteen years old.

Cev thought to himself 'Maybe I will do more for them, they've done so much for me in my life, yet I have never truly returned the favor.'

whispering under his breath out of embarrassment Cev said, ["I'm really sorry Mya."]

"What'd you say brother?" said Mya in her typical cheerful tone, making a genuine smile at Cev.

Cev then, severely regretting his past, blurted out in a loud and slightly aggressive tone ["I'm sorry Mya! For never seeing you as my sister! For never treating my family with the love and respect they deserve! And for compressing every pain I've ever felt into myself instead of telling the only people who actually care about me!"] By the time Cev had finished what he had to say, he had eyes that looked as if they'd be shined and polished by a professional jeweler. He also had many tears rolling down his face on onto his half eaten omelet that Mya had made him.

Mya sat dumbfounded. After only a couple of seconds she got up, went over to her little brother, and embraced her brother as to comfort him.

Mya, now lightly crying, said "Cev, I've been waiting for this day for years. You mean that world to me brother, and I'm glad you've finally realized that. We're finally real siblings."

After some time, Cev said ["sister, I don't want you to be late to class because of my actions. You should really get going."]

*smack*

Mya slapped Cev across the face, leaving a red mark. 

Then, Mya said, "You matter to me way more than some class! I only get one brother you dumbass! We'll speak about this later. Remember Cev, if you ever need to talk about something, no matter what it may be I will be all ears."

["ok sis...see you later"]