Chapter 2: Ayana

He woke up, startled at the blank white space surrounding him. There were no features, just a soft white. There was not even a change between the floor he lay on and the air he was breathing. He was breathing? Was he not dead? He remembered pulling the trigger, the bang and then peace. It was confusing.

He got up, surprised at how easily he did so. He looked at his hands, and the smooth, unblemished skin. He ran his other hand over his palm, and up his arm, marveling at the sensation, no scars, or marks, he smiled. He was dead. He would have peace at long last.

He looked around, there was only the soft white glow, and him, out of place with color and form. He started walking, and realized his foot was bare, startled, he realized his nudity. What confused him was how he felt no shame or anything at all for it. He didn't feel much of anything, just brushes of emotion.

"Hello? Anybody there?"

He paused after calling out. His words faded without echo, but still lingering. He hummed in contemplation. He tried remembering his name, but it eluded him. His life was stark and clear, but there were no more names, which he found odd.

He called out again, "Hello?"

To his surprise someone answered this time, a soft, rich voice of a woman.

"Oh! How did some one get here? And a mortal?"

He was startled at the sudden interruption, and more so when a figure stepped out of the light. He was struck by her. Not quite what he expected from God, a small, mousy woman. She was beautiful, in a librarian sort of way. She had big round glasses on her face, further exaggerating her already large eyes. She had a small nose, messy black hair pulled into a bun. She did not look like she got a lot of sun, her skin pale like milk.

"Oh! Um. Let me fix that." Her cheeks reddened, squeaking. She looked down, bashful, and waved her hand, and suddenly he was clothed in casual wear, a black t-shirt, and jeans.

"What is your name?"

"I am Ayana." She smiled at him, radiant, peering up at him through her loose hair.

He was struck by that smile. How long had it been since anyone smiled at him, and meant it? He could not remember.

"What is your name?"

"I do not remember."

"Oh. Well! Let's see what happened here. You were supposed to go to an afterlife, not this purgatory." Ayana started walking toward him.

"Are you a goddess? The Goddess?"

"Oh, monotheistic, are you? Oh no I'm just a goddess of wisdom on rotation for upkeep of the framework."

"What framework?"

Ayana smiled at him, this one slight and teasing, "Why the only framework that truly matters. The one that keeps everything running smoothly. The multiverse, the afterlives, the wheels of reincarnation. It is an honor and a duty. Every god or goddess must participate at one point or another."

He frowned slightly, and cocked his head to the right, "There is more than one afterlife?"

Ayana laughed, pure and full of mirth, "Of course! Every god creates their own afterlife for their followers. But you distracted me, let's take a look at what happened."

He grew worried, "Am I in trouble?"

Ayana jumped and shook her head vehemently "Oh no! Not at all! Whatever god that oversees your world's afterlife selection is in deep, deep trouble. The multiverse is a complex, living breathing organism and any malfunction could be the doom of us all. And for you to be sent here, why that means there are serious breakdowns in the system of your world!"

He was relieved, he did not want Ayana to think of him negatively, not after the kindness she had shown.

Ayana bit her lip, her tongue sticking out a little, softly humming. "Ah I got it! You are from Terra! Let's see," it looked like she was going through a filing cabinet that was not there. She was mumbling under her breath as she went through the invisible files. Her eyes away from him, he took in the rest of her figure.

She was wearing a frumpy sweater too big for her, and a long skirt that fell a little past her knees. Even with her figure disguised so, it was easy to make out the near perfection of her form.

"Got it!" He startled a little, and looked at what she was doing. Ayana held a file in her hands. It was old and dusty, with parchment instead of paper.

"This is an old file! When was the last time anyone looked at it? Hmmm…lets see that was…OVER THREE THOUSAND YEARS AGO!?" He jumped again at her yell.

"The last time a god oversaw the afterlife system was three thousand years ago?"

"No, the last time somebody touched this folder, I don't think there has been oversight for an exceedingly long time. This is going to take a good long while to sort out. Let's see about your soul, that will be easier."

"What about my soul? Are you going to destroy it? What is going to happen?"

She looked struck, "Destroy your soul? Nono that's not even on the table! We don't destroy souls! Even if we could."

He was relieved and grew confused at his relief. Had he not just ended his life, thinking it would end his existence?

She continued, "This may feel a little invasive, but don't worry, I am just going through the history of what you have lived."

He felt a soft, warm presence deep within himself, and felt it reach deeper. It kept reaching and reaching further within, until it hit his core and then withdrew as fast as it entered.

"Oh my. You poor, poor soul. What lives you have lived. So many. So much pain. You should have been taken out of the cycle long ago. Hundreds of lives lived, and so many with violent ends. You earned over twenty different afterlives and numerous glorious reincarnations. Your soul needs to rest. Hmmm." She looked at him with deep sorrow, a clear understanding of the pain he suffered, the vast majority of which he has no memory of.

"How can you see my past lives? Did you look at their memories?"

"No, those are blocked for me, but I could see and feel the deep, lingering scars of pain in the many layers of your soul. You even have some that run through multiple lifetimes. I did not know that was possible. You are a clear demonstration of why souls need to process what happened, and not the continuous cycle of life and death your soul went through."

These revelations shook him, how trauma lasts longer than lifetimes, how souls need to process what happened to them like any living person, how he and apparently everyone on Earth had been robbed.

"This is a problem I need to fix. I think there is a simple solution, one that could help appease your soul, help it heal, or you could make this next life a glorious one, and be awarded the afterlife that one earns, one last go before a long healing. For healing now, you have several options, choose one of the afterlives you previously earned or enter a functional wheel of reincarnation. Both would heal you, but not to the degree I think you need."

He looked into her azure eyes, full of concern, "What do you recommend? What would be best?"

She smiled, slight and pulling her full lips into a dimpled smile, "You would be best served with the first option, a life allowing your soul to express itself as it pleases, full of wonder and love. It would make healing easier to have at least one good life and would allow me to ensure that you got what you need when that life ends."

He smiled at her, the first genuine smile in God knows how many years. "I choose the first option."

She gave her radiant, dimpled smile, and with joy clear in her voice, "I am glad. Live and be happy."

He stared at her memorizing her joyful face, "Thank you for your kindness."

She flushed, "I-I am only doing my job. I am sending you now."

He blinked, and peaceful darkness overtook him once more.