The Professor Sees Through

This was insane. The only thing going through my head as we both made our way to my school was how absolutely insane the idea of this being a different god was to me. Yeah, okay, I won't say it's impossible, but it really, really felt close to that. Still, it wasn't like I had anything to actually decline to. At the end of the day, whether I believed it or not, I was still going to be meeting up with god, and that was what really messed with me. Sure, he seemed like a fine enough dude, but I just couldn't deny that Mika had a seed of doubt, no matter how much I disagreed with it. I'd much rather he just forget to show up so I could push the whole thing as far behind me as I possibly could.

"Stop doubting me." Mika's words sounded hurt. They made me feel a pang of something in my heart. Averting my gaze from her, I agreed to, and promptly moved my thoughts to a different topic. Think, something else. Uhm…I guessed it would be interesting seeing my new professor on his second day of the job. I mean, the first day isn't usually the best way to analyze what someone is like. Either they haven't settled in yet or they just were running off some kind of foolproof script that would later fail them. He did a pretty decent job the day before, so I was inclined to believe it was the second one. I sighed. This was stupid, what the hell else was I really gonna think about?

Entering the school gates, I realized that the amount of people around me had lessened from previous days. Weird. Well, wait, how many got killed yesterday? Double wait, if god was gonna clean this up, wouldn't he have brought them back? Surely he wouldn't have seen their deaths as befitting of his version of justice that he so mightily carried. I gulped. Maybe I just don't know how anything works, that was also plenty possible, but also a pretty disappointing conclusion to come to. So instead, I merely turned my head off. It would just be better to not think at all than realize how stupid I really am.

It was a funky experience, not thinking. It felt like I was lost in a fuzzy world of safety. I considered never leaving it, but a strange feeling like a worm wriggling through my brain managed to convince me not to do so. I snapped out of it in my classroom. Somewhere in this building, Mika had decided to dig around in my empty head to cause me to leave my realm of safety. I considered, for a moment, giving her a piece of my mind, but I knew that would end poorly. She was just smarter than me. So, in defeat, I looked out at the dark sky. I felt myself analyzing every inch even closer than I usually had. Maybe I thought if I didn't find anything, it would be enough for me to not question anything anymore. Not question anything. Yeah, that sounded nice. Just like everyone else, accept the world for how it is, and maybe you won't get killed.

The realization that I had so naturally become something I so easily criticized in my own mind made me feel a chill. Was I…really doubting Mika because it would be easier than accepting things potentially being complicated? Or was it something else? What did I have against critical thought when it came to this. The realization that I couldn't even comprehend my own lack of comprehension made me wanna vomit. My fists curled up tight.

I decided, no matter how unlikely I thought it was, I would go along with what Mika believed.

As I thought that, I noticed the red eye in the sky had turned to stare at me.

…

"Hey, Marcus, mind staying for a minute?" As the bell for lunch rang, I heard the voice of my professor over the sound of scraping chairs and countless footsteps. Uhm, interesting. I try to think of whatever I could have done wrong, or whatever I'd done to get me noticed. It couldn't be good, I knew that much. I stood up, bracing myself for whatever laid in store as I walked to the front of the classroom. As I arrived at his desk, however, I wasn't met by a verbal lashing or a piece of chalk between the eyes. Rather, I was met by a surprising smile. Uhm, okay, that was way scarier than any lashing, I think I would have preferred one of those at that moment.

"Uhm, is something wrong sir?" I felt my throat drying up.

"Marcus, what was my class about today?" His words caught me even further off guard.

"Uhm…" I think back. He'd gone in depth on the formulas for finding the probabilities of different scenarios, specifically when it came to the difference between something in itself happening and that same thing happening multiple times in a row. I always hated that shit. It just felt like more blatantly what all math was about; common sense being made into complicated equations. Still, I told him exactly what he asked for, his smile not fading in the slightest, even giving me a chuckle at my jabbing words towards the concepts. This was…certainly interesting. I wish I had any idea how to process it.

"If I asked any of your classmates that question, do you think they'd give me the same answer?"

"Uhm…I'm not sure."

"They wouldn't, because who in their right mind would risk saying something as disagreeable as what you said."

"Dis…agreeable?" He stood up, walking over to the window as I watched him.

"I'm a teacher. Do you really think anyone would risk disrespecting the topics I teach like that? What if they got judged? So they'd keep quiet, pretend they understood everything and add a kiss on the cheek…a verbal one I mean. You get it." My professor chuckled, before turning back to me. "So, Marcus, what gives you the confidence to have a personality?"

"The confidence. Professor, I think you're looking too deeply into it." I felt like my heart was gonna freeze over. Whatever the hell this guy was on about, I did NOT like it.

"Really? Hmm…I guess we'll see about that next class. Enjoy lunch, Marcus." His kind tone sent a chill down my spine as I briskly left through the classroom door. I could feel my teeth were grit from behind my lips. Leaning against the wall, I patiently waited for Mika.