Prologue

Deep in the heart of the heavy metal tower of demon trauma and torture a man can bee seen petting a bunny while reading a book by a Mr. Fischbach. His hand covering the first name so it's in the air if it's the easter egg for the son or the father. It's pretty weird looking at the various baubles he's collected during his adventures fisting, maiming, and general murder and molesting of hellspawn for glory kills and generic executions. He's still confused on how they shit out ammo when you chop them up with a chainsaw or drop armor and health when he shoves his boot up their ass.

During a few such incidents his inner thoughts were 'Like while I'm doing this why are y'all watching this happen? Pretty sure I don't got temporal abilities.' or 'What drugs did I snort or smoke for this mancubus to go full pinyata? Where the hell is all this ammo going and is that Daisy up on that ledge over there? Didn't she die?'

There's a lot in the world he can't wrap his head around besides his seemingly immortal bunny that appears like a judging spectator to the slaughter, why fellow humans seems to behave on rails, and why when he's trying to read and play with his bunny there's a dork in the background narrating this shit like he's not noticed... but I digress. Good old Doom Guy checks his H.U.D. to see if he has enough daylight to bring Daisy to her favorite meadow to frolic amongst her fellow bun buns and insult Bambi in whatever animal speak they communicate in. She's held a grudge ever since the little bastard fell on her when he noticed DS watching with a creepy smile in the background.

Let's see what he preps for the outing. He's got a bunny sized baby carrier strapped to his chest, a bag with baby carrots and celery for his little deary, his grappling sawed off in case of bears, his sword just because he wants to practice his stabbing and slashing, wait why is he just grabbing his whole arsenal if he's going to a meadow? Dude are you being paranoid? DS: GRRRR 'STFU you PTSD demon!' Voice in his head: *I'm only here for the inner monologues or when your mind folds you Murder Monkey! Go back to that thing you were doing.*

He loads up a few days of food and basic camping gear since he now wants to go camping to ignore my existence through becoming one with nature and spoiling Daisy. I watch as he sets the destination for the portal and I see that Daisy is being REEAAALLY fidgety right now and Demon Fister over here hasn't noticed. I dunno how she can tell that I'm currently staring hard at her making those weaboo *JIIIIII* sounds from the anime and novels our gentle giant watches in his down time covered in entrails but it's getting worse as I float closer to her.

Oh I haven't mentioned it but I'm one of his dead descendants or was it ancestors. Can't quite remember which with the whole time traveling demons thing, possessed Nazis, and interstellar travel. Being dead for a long time does weird things to your soul but even if whatever he thinks I am is satanic in nature at least I know I'm still around whats left of the family. When I first brought it up his ass tried to purify me so gonna stay at arms length till he finds a woman or something to vent his pent up emotions on. I feel bad about what happened to my grand nephew/uncle (still unsure). That big ass goat headed titan had to be put down again and the scars made him crack up. I used to be able to leave him to scope out areas but now I can only go as far as 100 meters. He can hear me at least so that's nice. Placing markers via ghosty goo poltergeist abilities for the weird challenges and bottled demon testicles that he gains power from was the most I can do before. I'd describe myself but I don't show up in mirrors, cameras, or the stolen ghost hunting equipment he got his hands on last week from the rebuilding society on the smoldering rock outside the space windshield.

Fuck, my ADHD kicked in again and the portals up and running. We see the lush unfucked meadow on the other side and he prepares to step through. Daisy is now flipping balls so hard right now trying to get away. As we watch the loa- I mean warp tunnel from the portal, the meat head finally notices that something is wrong.

We get to the other side and we see a farm getting invaded by fucked up green imps and cosplayers in shiny bikini armor and heavy field plate defending it. I look at the bastard bunny and see it frozen stiff as a board staring at the mess it presumably made... before a stray arrow went through it's skull...