My Morning Star

Gilgamesh stirred in his sleep. He was waking up.

His tiny body rolled around on the massive bed, and he opened his eyes only to hurriedly shut them. There was an orb emitting soft, warm light. Even so, it had been too bright for him.

He blinked a large number of times, slowly adjusting, then he looked around the room a bit. He noticed the cotton bed sheets and their fanciful designs, the soft padding on the floor, covering the stone tiles, and the walls as well. There was a closet, and even a dresser in the room as well.

The door was wide open, but Gilgamesh could only see the walls of a hallway outside. He was groggy, and his head still felt as though it were splitting, but he managed to crawl off the bed and slowly get onto his feet. As they touched the floor, he gasped, which caused him to realize that his chest felt tight.

He started craving water as he moved, each step was harder than the last, yet he fought on regardless. He was dizzy, and no matter how he tried, the grogginess did not leave him. He stumbled his way through the door and out into the hallway, then randomly started to hobble until he decided to lean against the wall. His vision blurred at random intervals, until eventually he stumbled into an open room with a loud thud.

"Oh, you're awake!"

Gilgamesh heard a woman's voice, but his mind could not focus well enough for him to recognize who it was or what they were saying. All he could think about was how dehydrated he felt, and so he weakly whispered, "...water..."

He felt strong, yet gentle hands take him up by the sides and place him in a chair, then they tilted his head back a little. Before he could process what was happening, he felt the cool sensation of water on his lips and lost all sense of reason. His body mindlessly started to gulp, swallowing mouthful after mouthful until he had had enough.

Surprisingly, the water still reached his lips.

As he panted, he blinked a few times and saw someone staring at him. His vision was still blurred, so he didn't know who this was, but he was grateful nonetheless.

"Thank y-" There was a sudden buzzing in his head, and he passed out.

Ishtar blinked a few times. She did not expect him to pass out yet again.

She was holding a goblet in her hand, filled with water. Gilgamesh had been drinking from this just now, and the biggest smile had been on her face, seeing him gulping it down like an animal. She was actually making fun of him while he did it, but he was far too disoriented to realize. Or care.

She took him up again and went over to the couch, then placed him onto it and put one of the soft cushions under his head. She went about her business, preparing something to eat with excitement written on her face.

When Gilgamesh woke up again, he felt far better than he did the first time. His eyes adjusted a lot faster, and his vision was a lot clearer. He didn't feel dizzy as he tried to sit up, and the discomfort in his chest was gone. He smelled the faint scent of food, and looked around the room until he found the source.

Ishtar was sitting at a long table full of food, wolfing delicacies down without reservation. She was emptying plates one by one, then they would magically be restocked with an entirely new dish. Gilgamesh blinked a few times, and it all came back to him.

It was Ishtar who had been taking care of him. What a coincidence.

He opened his mouth, but for some reason he couldn't find words to say. GIlgamesh had never been at a loss for words before, and the feeling felt strange to him. He opened his mouth a few times, sure that he would be able to speak, but each time he ended up shutting his mouth again.

Finally, he bolstered his will and... loudly cleared his throat.

"Oh, you're awake again? Good evening, Gilgamesh!"

Ishtar did not seem to care that her mouth was full as she greeted Gilgamesh, then she swallowed and went right back to eating. Gilgamesh blinked a few times as the reality of the situation set in, and he began to recall all he could about the events that led up to it.

What he had done slowly returned to him, and he sighed in a moment of temporary defeat.

"You look nothing like yourself, King of Uruk."

Gilgamesh raised his head to look at Ishtar. She was staring dead at him with a dirty mouth.

"You have suffered defeat before, but never have you truly lost. You were the one that told me that. Do you remember?"

Gilgamesh scoffed, "They're my words; of course I remember them."

"Then what is this? Your spirits seem low."

Ishtar went right back to eating, but this time was a lot more calm and slow about it. Gilgamesh looked at her with a frown, and he simply fell back onto the couch. He folded his arms and laid them under his head, and as he stared at the ceiling he began to think.

"My spirits seem low? A fitting choice of words."

Ishtar said nothing.

"I have lost everything to you gods. I lost my father, then I saw my mother exiled. My only friend died as a result of the cruel game your brother chose to play, and my kingdom was ripped from under me. Everything I gained, I gained on my own. My power was my own."

"It is the one thing I vowed never to lose to any god. It was the one thing that I could always rely on. In the end, I myself chose to destroy my source of strength, so I could save those precious to me."

Ishtar chugged some water and swallowed, and after wiping her face with her arm she let out a breath.

"So you regret your decision?"

"Of course not."

"If you were faced with the same dilemma, would you act any differently?"

"I would not."

"Then what is the issue? You made the choice, now you don't want to live with it? That isn't the Gilgamesh I know."

Gilgamesh's brows raised involuntarily, and he sat up again to look at her with wide eyes.

"The Gilgamesh I know makes decisions and accepts the outcome with a smirk, no matter what. He exercises supreme control over every circumstance of his life, because he prides himself on being capable of handling anything. With or without power, he has never let anyone control him. He does what he wants, and the rest of us have to adapt to him."

"That is the Gilgamesh I know. That is the Gilgamesh I love."

Ishtar had not moved from her seat, but she said what she had to say. She steeled her will and chose to do it right away. There was no use in holding anything back.

She watched as Gilgamesh silently contemplated, but also as he stared back at her fierce eyes with his own. He smiled.

"Love, huh?"

Gilgamesh walked over to the table and sat in the chair opposite to Ishtar's; never once looking away from her eyes. With a smirk, he chose something from the table at random and nibbled on it.

"My last memory before I died, is you standing over me."

Ishtar froze up. Her own mind revisited the memory, not needing even a second to bring it back up to the surface. She had dwelled on these memories many, many times.

"I remember wanting to say something to you. I tried to, but I couldn't finish. It was just so hard to say."

Ishtar swallowed. An entire series of emotions played out in her head, and she gulped without swallowing her food.

"I still see it, you know."

Ishtar immediately flew out of her chair, taking several steps backward until she hit the wall. She forcefully swallowed everything in her mouth but then started coughing violently. She was utterly flustered, and she did not know how to handle those feelings.

"What I wanted to say to you was..." Gilgamesh started, and sighed. He rubbed his eyes a bit and eventually shook his head, then he bit down on his lip and nodded.

"I wanted to say that I still see the morning star in your eyes, and that I never once stopped seeing it. In truth, I always saw it. There was a strangeness to the fire of your soul that spilled out through your eyes, and it has always captivated me. I simply had never seen the morning star before, so I could not make that comparison."

"That morning, when I saw the star in the sky, it immediately reminded me of your eyes. I had seen that beautiful phenomena somewhere before- I knew it- and once I looked at you it all set in. I have seen the morning star in your eyes ever since the first day we properly met. When I hated you, when I laughed with you, when I pitied you- even when I did not even know you- it has been there."

"I have never once looked into your eyes and not seen it. Each time, I am transfixed by it. By you. By your splendor."

Gilgamesh paused to get up and walk over to Ishtar, but once he was on her side of the table he stopped and turned around to grab her chair. He dragged it over and placed it in front of her.

"In my final moments, as all the rage and pain and hatred faded away, I saw you. I had already given up- abandoned my chance at revenge- but seeing your eyes changed something. Seeing you made my death... better, somehow... Easier to accept."

Gilgamesh climbed up onto the chair.

"That was why I wanted to tell you what I was feeling before I passed. I did not want things to end that way. I wanted to continue fighting it, so I could do what I wanted on my own terms. Of course, that could not happen."

Gilgamesh, now stood on the chair, flashed a full, genuine smile at Ishtar, who had already sunk as far back into the wall as she could. Her heart was pounding, sweat flowing, and her breathing was wild and erratic.

"I tried to tell you then, but I could not. I thought I had lost my chance, and you with it, but I was wrong. So, I will tell you now."

Gilgamesh leaned in and put a hand on Ishtar's shoulder.

"You are my Morning Star. Your light in my life is incomparable to any other."

Then, he planted a soft kiss on Ishtar quivering lips. She became even more stiff, but she shut her eyes and tried her best to not mess it up. Before long, Gilgamesh pulled away, but Ishtar was subconsciously leaning forward to follow him. She wasn't finished with him yet, but he placed a finger on her lips and snapped her out of it.

She opened her eyes and immediately blushed, then she sunk back into the wall, terrified.

"I love you, Inanna."

Her final defensive line was blown apart. Ishtar's tears rolled one after the next, down her face and onto her clothes. She was trying to speak, but she could not find the right words to say.

"Once again, you have lifted my spirits. I was beginning to give up again, until you reminded me of just who I am. Your presence is... calming."

Gilgamesh hopped off the chair and dragged it back, then went back to eating like nothing had happened.

"Well," he called to Ishtar, "I did come to join you for breakfast."

Ishtar tried her best to process everything that was going on, but too much had happened. Her brain was overloaded. Seeming half-mindless, she walked over to her chair and sat down, then simply stared at the food on the table.

Gilgamesh smirked and said nothing. In his mind, grand plans were beginning to materialize, breathed to life by his newly rekindled spirit. Although he had lost the majority of his power, he would never lose his conviction.

He was Gilgamesh, and there was nothing in any world that could stop him. Ishtar had reminded him of this, and he had proven that not even death could permanently hold him.

Now, he would prove that even without the power of his spirit- a power that he had accumulated over many, many years of hard, torturous work- he could still rise to the top once more. Only, this time, he would not allow himself to lose.

Gilgamesh's new life had only just begun.