Chapter Five

'ONE MONTH LATER'

"Smile my baby." I told Nelisiwe as I positioned my phone to take a photo. She did as I said and then run off to the field. Nelisiwe was in the preK soccer team. It was priceless watching a bunch of four and five year olds play soccer. Nelisiwe loved the sport even before she could join. Her school was filled with activity, parents in every corner and kids in their best moods. Since it was an outdoor gathering, I had on a light green play suit jumpsuit with white, open toe, strap heels. For my hair, I tied it back with a single parting and my curls wondered freely. During most parts of the soccer game I texted Buhle, typing faster with each reply and smiling down on my phone like a teenager.

After an hour, the game was done. The kids rushed off the field and run to their friends and families. My child on the other hand walked up to me slowly. Siwe really wanted Rebecca to watch her play, I didn't think that would upset her though. Siwe's team also won the game so I was so confused as to why she looked so sad.

"Hi my baby........ why are you upset? You won the game...... mummy is so proud of you." I told her and opened my arms out for a hug.

"You were on your phone all of the time." Siwe confronted.

My heart dropped immediately and since Siwe didn't hug me, my arms dropped too. I was so carried away with texting, I barely watched the game.

"Oh my God....... I'm so sorry my baby and I did watch you.... I watched you score, I promise." I told Siwe in hope to comfort her.

"I want to go home." Siwe told me.

Siwe's big brown eyes were full of tears. I felt so bad.

"You don't want to stay for the trophy presentation?........ and I heard they'll be ice cream after the games..... you don't want some?"

"No." Siwe replied and looked away from me.

Before I could say more convincing words, the coach of the soccer team called for the team so Siwe left. The parents gathered at the front stage too. It was time for the trophy presentation. Siwe looked so sad, she couldn't even talk and laugh with her friends. After the coach's speech came the announcement of the names of the outstanding players. Siwe was called first and I screamed at the top of my lungs and cheered her on. When she looked at me cheering for her she smiled at me, she even laughed a little making some other parents and kids laugh too. I was loud but I didn't even care, because that was my baby girl.

"I'm so proud of you my baby!" I told Siwe as she walked up to me with her trophy in one hand and her certificate in the other. With the biggest smile on her face. My God.... She was absolutely beautiful.

After the trophy awarding was done all the kids walked down the stage. I took a video of the whole thing. I caught my baby's smile on camera the whole time she walked up to me. She was a little boss.

"Best shooter...... Nelisiwe Hlongwane." I read what the certificate indicated out loud after I hugged my baby girl.

After a few pictures with my little boss, we got some ice cream and wrapped it all up. During car pool Siwe was knocked out so I played soothing music unlike the usual. After I parked my car, a message popped up on my phone, it was Buhle. I opened the message. He wanted to go on a date..... tonight. Rebecca had a family emergency and was off today so I didn't really know what to do. I really wanted to go on this date but I had to find a nanny for Siwe. Ayanda, probably.

"I can't believe you guys are going on a date!........ you see? I'm thee match maker." Ayanda praised herself as I did my makeup.

Buhle was that friend of hers that I refused to meet. At the cocktail party, Buhle pretended not to know Ayanda very well because he wasn't supposed to be talking to me in the first place.

"What ever." I answered and put my left eye lash extension in place.

I didn't put too much make up, I was going for a more natural or close to natural look.

For clothes, I chose to wear a black open back dress with dark blue heels and a dark blue purse to compliment the heels.

"I was meaning to ask." Ayanda started out af the blue and paused.

I gave Ayanda my full attention because her tone scared me.

"Uhm....... Rather than nursing a previous heartbreak........ I thought it would put you off that Buhle is twenty six." Ayanda told me.

"What's the question?" I asked Ayanda, making us both laugh.

"Okay okay...... you don't feel a little scared or worried even that his six years older than you?" Ayanda finally asked.

"We'll..... I'm twenty yeah..... but we both know I act way more mature than that." I answered her.

"Socially maybe.......... But sexually...... intimately..... do you think you're mature in that area?........ let's say that he wants to sleep with you today..... what will you do?" Ayanda pointed out.

I wasn't mature when it came to intimacy...... in fact I was less experienced compared to most twenty year olds these days. I gave Ayanda no answer, I continued doing my make up instead. She made me nervous. In fact her question did more damage than just making my nerves tighten.

"I didn't mean to scare you love." Ayanda told me after she walked up to me from her seat on my couch.

"Is he that type though?" I asked.

"I don't think so...... I don't even know why I said that..... I doubt it."

I was still scared even after calming words from Ayanda. However, I played the jovial part. Ayanda and I talked until I got ready. The last thing I had to do after I got dressed was my hair. I had my hair slicked back with gel and I had the end styled in a messy fold.

"You look so beautiful." Ayanda praised me and I could see it too.

"Thank you."

I pulled out a necklace from my jewelry box and added it to my look. The necklace completed my look for sure.

I wore my perfume and now I was ready to leave. Buhle and I were eating dinner at his restaurant or his spot like he liked to call it. He owned a block consisting a bar, restaurant, club, event center and other spaces I couldn't quite remember. Buhle promised to show me around, only after the tour were we going to eat.

Nelisiwe was still knocked out from her afternoon nap so I just kissed her forehead and left for my date. After a twenty minute drive, following my map, I parked at my given location and waited for Buhle to come outside. When I spotted Buhle I came out of my car, locked it and started walking up to him. I put my car keys in my purse as we drew closer to each other. As Buhle walked up to me he smiled and so did I. I was so nervous but I did so well hiding it.

"Hi." Buhle greeted me, a hug followed.

"Hey." I greeted back during our hug.

"You look so beautiful." Buhle complimented me and I thanked him. " You smell so good too." Buhle added and I thanked him again. He looked and smelt just as great but I was too nervous to let him know. I wasn't as calm as I thought I would be. After a quick tour of the place, Buhle and I sat down to eat.

We were eating at a clearly private table. The table was at the highest floor and all the noise of the of the place seemed to have been blocked. In the room played soothing jams. The room was small enough for five people but just big enough for two people. It had art installed at the ceiling and against the walls. The chandeliers lit a deem orange light and the floors were of such great design. Our table was simple but elegantly decorated and we had staff at our service before we even sat down.

"You have talked less tonight than the night I first met you when we didn't even know each other....... Are you okay?" Buhle asked me as the waiter poured us wine and left four other wine bottles on our table.

"I was drunk when you met me and I am okay....... I'm just really nervous. I love your spot by the way... the whole thing is so beautiful, especially this room." I complimented and Buhle thanked me and we toasted after.

Every conversation Buhle started proved our age gap more and more. I started feeling insecure. I tried my best not to say anything that would make me seem immature. Maybe everything was just in my head.

"Qhamani........ you're holding back..... I can seen it." Buhle told me after I nodded with a grin at a whole story he just told me. Luckily the food coming in to be served saved me. It looked so good and I wanted to mention that it did but my tongue was tied.

"Ayanda told me that she was at your house helping you get ready for tonight ...... should I ask her what's up with you instead?" Buhle proposed and I immediately said no. "Then talk to me...... this is literally the most private table ....... You can say anything.... You can be loud...... nobody's here." Buhle went on.

"I know okay..... I do.....I'm sorry..... I'm so nervous and it doesn't even take a whole crowd to make me feel like that..... I just am nervous." I confessed.

"Why are you nervous though?....... I thought we were both excited to see each other in person again." Buhle asked sounding a little bothered.

" uhm...... okay let me be honest.....before I came it sort of hit me that you're six years older than me and I just don't want to say things that will make you think I'm immature." I told me.

"Are you serious!" Buhle exclaimed almost laughing making me confused. "Immature is how I feel when I talk to you..... because you've even said it.....I'm older by six years..... so when I ramble and make silly jokes I feel like you look at me and talk to yourself in your head and just say like this man is childish." He told me.

"I never say that...... and you're just goofy, I wouldn't describe you to be childish." I told him laughing alittle.

"You can be too then.... Goofy....... Like yeah I'm twenty six but I know who I'm dealing with.... You're not a parent or work mate..... I don't want you filtering yourself. I'd never judge you ....... And anyways..... you told me, and you have proven that you act older than you are..... to conclude all this..... I don't think it matters that we are that far apart in age anyway." Buhle closed.

Buhle made me feel better after everything he said. For the rest of the night we ate and sipped wine... and since I was more relaxed now, we laughed a lot. Buhle and I got to know more about each other. Our night was going great until my phone kept ringing. It was Ayanda. I don't know why she of all people would be calling me.

"You can answer it...... just act like I'm not here, or you can step out but it's a little noisy outside this room." Buhle told me. I answered the call. It was Siwe, she was crying her lungs out.

" Hi my baby what's wrong?" I asked Siwe after I heard her crying through the phone. She kept crying for a while before she actually talked. She wanted me home. " but Ayanda is there with you honey. " I told her, but got nothing out of it. " okay let me come home then ...... I'm coming my baby ......... okay bye, I love you."

I ended the call. Buhle tried hard, not to look curious, but I knew I had to explain. I've never once mentioned to him that I have a child.

" That was my daughter....... Ayanda is babysitting, but she wants me home, she's crying." I explained.

" okay..... okay..... we can wrap up then."

Buhle eyed the waiter to clear up. I like that he didn't question or make a certain facial expression about the whole situation with Siwe.

" I lost my sister two years ago............ She had a daughter who is now my daughter." I explained.

"Sorry to hear that....your sister I mean." Buhle told me and then got up helping me up.

" thank you......... And it's okay......." I added. After that mini awkward moment Buhle walked me out, holding my hand. Buhle's hand was soft. I liked his touch. Buhle took me all the way to my car.

" I wish I had more time with you, but you have a daughter to get to." Buhle told me. He was standing so close to me. His tall figure covered me up completely.

" I don't know when will both be free but I can't wait to see you again......... I had a really, really great time........ so thank you." I told him making him smile. I saw him lick his lips, I knew what was coming. Buhle immediately leaned in and pecked my lips three times before going in for a longer kiss. He had his hands hovering around my waist. I literally had butterflies. After the kiss I was blushing, and I know he saw it.

" good night." he told me and I said it back to him. I got into my car. Buhle only left, when I drove off completely. I savored the moment with Buhle as I drove for a while, but then I remembered why I was going home in the first place. When I got home Siwe ran up to me and broke down. I picked her up and rubbed her back. She held me tight with a little arms as she calmed down slowly.

" I tried to distract her......... it worked for a bit but then all hell broke loose." Ayanda reported, and I apologized and thanked her. After Ayanda left, I sat with Siwe on my living room couch.

" Why were you crying?" I asked Siwe. She was shaking a little wiping her tears. we were now looking at each other eye to eye. " You don't like Ayanda any more?" I asked, but got no response. "okay...... just hug me until you feel better then my baby." I told Siwe and she did. I kept her in the hug until she fell asleep. I laid siwe on my bed and went in the bathroom to take a shower. As I rinsed myself off, I heard knocking and crying in the bed room. I really didn't know what was wrong with Siwe today. I hurriedly dried myself and put my towel on.

" I'll be out in a second!" I announced and opened the door almost immediately. Siwe was crying like someone had beaten her up, she was worrying me now. My bedroom door wasn't even locked.

"Don't leave me!" Siwe cried, choking on her sobs. "You left .... Again.... You left."

"Baby I'm here........ I'm not going anywhere." I told her and picked her off the floor. She calmed down immediately. "I will never leave you....... never ever." I assured Siwe as I rocked her to sleep. After Siwe fell asleep I laid her down. I put my diaper on and got fresh set of pajamas. After I settled down, I called Buhle. I hoped he'd answer my FaceTime.

"Hey." Buhle answered, he was clearly in his bed.

"You look half asleep....... I shouldn't have called." I regretted.

"No no no no no...... I'm glad you called.... I was waiting on you actually.... You didn't tell me that you got home safely."

"We'll I did ...... I just had a lot to deal with...... Siwe has been crying a lot." I explained.

"That's your daughters name?" Buhle asked me.

"Nelisiwe...... Siwe for short."

"Is she okay now?"

"Yeah yeah..... she had some sort of separation anxiety."

"I can't blame her."

I smiled and blushed when he said that and I wasn't even trying to hide it.

"You should get some sleep....... Goodnight." I told Buhle.

"No.... I want to talk to you...... it's only fair that I get more out of this call since my date was cut short."

I smiled again. I don't know why I was so happy.

"And if you'll keep smiling like that each time I talk..... I don't think I want to stop seeing your face." Buhle told me.

I smiled again, but this time I covered my face.

Buhle and I talked for two hours. I changed seats, from my bed, to my couch, to the balcony bench. Buhle made me so happy. Sleep was my last concern when I talked to him.