Not So Little Dipper

!

"Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, Anomaly #54: The Mailbox," Dipper said to the camera while pointing to the mailbox in the middle of the woods. "There it is, in the middle of the forest. No house. No address. Today, me and my team of expert..."

Soos walks up to the mailbox and waves to the camera. "Sup?"

"Are gonna put a letter in and see who picks it up," Dipper said to the camera.

"My letter posits a salient question: Sup Dawg?" Soos said as he puts the letter in the mailbox.

"Now we're gonna hide behind a bush, and wait for someone to come by," Dipper said.

The mailbox begins to shake.

"Oh, Dude!" Soos said backing away.

"What the?!" Dipper said in surprises.

The flag on the mailbox raises.

"Did you see that?!" Soos ask.

Dipper runs over to the mailbox along with Soos.

"Open it!" Dipper said.

"No, you open it, dude! I'm not touching a ghost mailbox!" Soos said.

"Okay, okay. Here it goes," Dipper said opening the mailbox and pulls out a letter. "What?!"

"That's not our letter, dude!" Soos said.

Dipper opens the letter and reads it. "It says... Gasps!"

Soos grabs the letter from Dipper and holds it up to the camera. "Hello Dipper and Soos."

"It knows our names!" Dipper said.

"What if this thing's all-knowing?" Soos asks.

"We gotta test it," Dipper said.

Static

Soos holds up a letter to the camera. "What did I shave into my head this morning?"

He puts it into the mailbox. It shakes again and the flag raises up. Soos takes the letter out.

"A baby duck holding a paddleball" Dude! It knew!" Soos takes off his hat to reveal the duck shaved into his hair to the camera.

"What?!" Dipper asked both about how the mailbox knew and why Soos would do that.

"Ask it more questions!" Soos said.

Static

"When is the end of the world?" Dipper said and put the letter into the mailbox.

Static

"Approximately 5 billion years when the sun transforms into a red giant and engulfs the world. Huh. We've got a while," Dipper said.

Static

"Who is my dream woman?" Soos said and puts the letter in.

Static

Soos holding up a picture of a muscular woman to the camera.

"Ho ho ho! Hot tamales! I'll save that one for the archives!" Soos said as he puts it in his pocket.

"Uh, when is the exact time and date of my death?" Dipper wonders what's next to write.

"Did aliens build the pyramids?!" Soos shouting in the background as he held the camera.

"Or... what is the meaning of life?" Dipper asked.

"What are marshmallows made of?!" Soos shouted out.

Mabel wearing a backpack walks onto the camera shot.

"Nifty! A mailbox! I've been wanting to mail mom this video of me sticking 100 gummy worms up my nose!" Mabel said as she puts a package inside.

"No, wait!" Dipper shouted

"Dude!" Soos shouted as well.

"Slam!" Mabel said as she slams the mailbox door.

The flag raised after shaking.

Dipper takes out letter and reads it. "Your gummy worm video has disturbed and insulted me. You fools are unworthy of my great knowledge. The era of human enlightenment shall never come to pass."

The mailbox glows.

"What's that?!" Soos shouted out.

Dipper and Mabel runs away while screaming.

The mailbox implodes.

Static.

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos are standing in the middle of a scorched clearing.

"Well, uh, that concludes Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, where we learned when dealing with the unknown," Diper turns angrily, to Mabel. "DO NOT MAIL VIDEOS OF YOU SHOVING GUMMY WORMS UP YOUR NOSE!"

Mabel pulls out gummy worms.

"There's more where that came from!" Mabel sand and begins singing. "Into my nose! INTO MY NOSE!"

"No! No! Show over! SHOW OVER—!" Dipper shouted and turned off the camera.

!

Mystery Shack -

The Pines family along with Soos and Wendy having watched the video of the discovery of the mailbox and Mabel causing the being answering the questions to go away. Thanks to her mailing the video of her stuffing gummy worms up her nose. And outside the shack is a mob of angry people who had wanted the ask the mailbox their own questions.

"Seeing how I was broadcasting my webshow live. Is the reason why there's a mob outside the shack," Dipper said still mad at Mabel.

"This is just like how Norm the Genie showed that film with how people in his world always make the same wasteful first wish of a giant sandwich, which is the reason why the genies made the film in the first place," Wendy said.

"And that Mabel was already told by our parents that they will and never find her stuffing things up her nose funny or ever want to see it," Dipper said.

"I thought they would find it funny… this time," Mabel said looking down.

"And because of you being the idiot who continues to do something after being told not to, the all knowing mailbox that could answer any question is gone. All for a video that neither mom nor dad would find funny, which you already know as they forbid you from doing it after you did the first time. Losing something like that, just for a video which you made which mom and dad wouldn't or will ever like and would just throw away as they didn't like it the first time and for some reason you think they would like it the second time. Is the reason why there's a mob out there," Dipper said.

"Lots of people with unanswered questions like what's the cure for someone who is sick and what happen to a missing person," Wendy said.

"Mabel you really messed up. You need to keep out of sight till this blows over," Stan said.

"This reminds me of that South Park episode where god shows up and offers to answer one question and Stan butted in asking why he didn't get his period yet. Stan is satisfied by this, and joyfully starts singing "Auld Lang Syne", but the angry crowd attacks him for wasting their chance to ask God a profoundly important question," Soos said.

"Which is why you're not coming with me to what Twilight found in the woods. Seeing how you messed up big time and there's an angry mob out there," Dipper said.

Twilight had texted Dipper a short time ago. Apparently, she thought about the flashes Dipper had when he saw the hands of time and then there was the whole deal with Thrax. She cross-referenced it with the journal pages that she copied and found a place of crystals that could alter size itself. And she feels they should go investigate immediately.

"I'm going with you," Wendy said.

"Yeah, me and Soos will keep an eye on things and Mabel you hide in your room," Stan said.

"I understand," Mabel said down in how bad she messed things up.

!

In the forest -

Wendy and Dipper join with Twilight and they began searching for the crystals. Dipper using his flash forward memories guided them deep into the forest. Twilight also used reports on either giant or small animals to give them an idea which area of the forest to search. Dipper remembering where the crystals are lead Twilight and Wendy to the place where the crystals are. And instead, they found a large Lego continent in a crater filled with water, with what looks like an evil villain volcano lair near a Lego city.

The Lego continent is very large being that size of a big building, like a Walmart building in size. And the Lego continent is also in the shape of a dragon. And it has its own ecosystem that is all made out of lego. Which from what they can make is having trouble. Using powerful magnifying binoculars they see the trouble.

During the merge many worlds were fused together as one, but some of those worlds there was a huge size difference. The lego continent is home to many of the worlds that came very small. There are the native locals of the lego world, ninjas from Ninjago, and the Bionicles. There are also the natives from other small worlds, ants from the world of 'A Bug's Life', the ants from 'ANTZ', ants from 'Ant Bully', the Minimoy's from 'Arthur and the Invisibles' and the pikmin from 'Pikmin'. They all found themselves on the continent of ninjago as it had been forcibly crashed on top of the size changing crystals during the merge.

They were being attacked on all sides, not just the pikmin monsters Amphituber, Antenna Beetle, Arachnorb, Armored Cannon Beetle, Bulborb, Burrowing Snagret, etc. But also, from the army of the tyrant Malthazar. And that's not going into all the other native insects wanting a piece of them. Not to mention there are the bigger life forms that appear now and then like the birds and lizards that wanted to eat them. (2)

The sapient bugs have been having a hard time adjusting, they were so use to a kid-friendly world where the insects aren't constantly eating or killing each other. The Minimoy have been helping them adjust as they had to deal with that kind of life already. They been using the pikmin to help defend the lego world from all the attacking forces. Who use the dead insects to make more of them when they're not being eaten by the other organic lifeforms living on lego land. Since everything is made out of plastic, the organic life of lego land had to search for food around the forest around their new home. Which the Minimoy's lead the ants and other sapient bugs on hunting and gathering parties for both food, water and anything that they could use.

Then there are the natives of the lego land, who unlike their new organic friends don't have to worry about being eaten by the native lifeforms around them. Nothing wanted to eat them and using their advance lego technology they built giant fighting robots to fight off the many wild native life forms that wanted to eat their new friends. The ninjas may not have elemental powers anymore, but they still can do the Cyclone of creation and other master builder related skills. There are also the newly reformed Serpentine tribes also lend a hand. And over the year since they came to this world, they managed to scare off most of the dangerous animals who learn to stay away from lego land. Not to mention thanks to the sea that was already around the lego land, created by rain and snow. Created a watery barrier around the lego land keeping the native bug and animals from getting to the lego land stuck in the middle. The only way to cross the water is either by boat or flying.

But that was till a couple of months ago before a new army came to the forest. Lead by two robots that escape with an army of Fmeks. The Fmeks were a species native to the planet Fmoo and were the enemies of the Arquillians and the M.I.B. Their planet was destroyed when they tried blowing up the Arquillian's planet. A large number of them were imprison by the M.I.B. after trying to takeover Earth but after the merge happen the M.I.B. suddenly found themselves dealing with bigger problems.

During the confusion after the M.I.B. failed to mind wipe everyone and they were disbanded, replaced by S.C.P. with the agents who weren't let go being spread out around the new agency. The Fmeks imprison escape with the aid of their new allies who were on their way of escaping on their own when they came across the small aliens. And after raiding the supply closest and using a golf cart escape into the forest that surrounded the prison they were kept. That turned out to be located in Oregon.

The robots who act as leaders of the Fmeks and protect them from animals that wanted to eat them. The first is Killgore, who is a diminutive wind-up toy robot with a tag that reads "VILLAIN" attached to his head. Nearly everyone in Tremorton found Killgore adorable, despite Killgore constantly trying to convince them and himself that he is an evil and powerful villain. After Jenny broke ties with Tremorton and her mother/creator she caught Killgore and gave him over to SCP. Who were interested in how a wind-up toy became self-aware.

Then there is SCP-1370 or Pesterbot who is a self-aware artificial being constructed from various electrical devices and tools. It stands approximately one meter in height and is capable of moving its articulated joints despite the lack of any power source or motors. SCP-1370 communicates in a monotone voice via a speaker mounted in its chest.

Its head is a voltmeter soldered upside down to a neck joint, giving the appearance of a friendly smile, but containing no active sensory devices. However, SCP-1370 will react to visual and audible stimuli, and its ability to do so is hampered when the head is covered or otherwise restrained. Its design appears to give more importance to aesthetic concern rather than function, as evidenced by a poor center of gravity that hampers its ability to balance and walk.

After the golf cart lost power the two robots had the Fmeks build a sledge for Pesterbot to pull with the supplies they stole from the prison. While in the woods they came across two giant lego people with vehicles and mechs who are the size of humans. The two told them about size changing crystals that are underneath a lego land and where they came from. The piece they used to make themselves bigger was lost as it was only the size of a grain of rice and they fell into a river when they lost it. Now knowing a way to change their size the group traveled through the forest till they found the lego land. Seeing it as a good place to also make a home base for themselves the Fmeks found the land to be home to beings smaller then themselves and quickly tried to takeover but were driven away. With Pesterbot unable to help because of the deep water.

Since then, they been trying to conquer the lego land after the Fmeks learned that the lego pieces could be used to build machines that seem to have no power source at all. During the first winter that had the pond around lego land frozen, allowed Pesterbot who stood at 1 meter or 3 feet tall proved to be all but unstoppable due to his sheer size compared to the natives of lego land. It's only thanks to combining all the different mechs together forming a giant robots, were they able to defeat Pesterbot leaving him in pieces.

The Fmeks and Killgore salvaged Pesterbot pieces and been rebuilding him since then. They also been going into Gravity Falls, raiding the town for parts. The Fmeks also been stealing machine parts of the machine animals from the Horizon world. Not wanting to completely destroy lego land if they used blaze to melt the plastic, they instead used chillwater to create freeze rays to just freeze the lego people. Which they used to freeze the water around lego land so that the new rebuild Pesterbot could break through all the defenses.

Pesterbot now a heavily armored robot with two electric scooters attached to a toy wagon replacing his legs and giving him better balance and speed. The wagon not only carry's the scooters power supply but also the ammo for Pesterbot's weapons and serves as transportation for the Fmeks. Pesterbot's upper body and head is still the same but now heavily armored and attached to the front of the wagon. Pesterbot arms have been replaced with a large extendable claw for the left and a gun arm on the right. The gun arm can either fire a laser, or fire a blast of chillwater thanks to the metal fuel tank attached to the back of the wagon. That protects the fuel and serves as a counterweight to prevent Pesterbot flip over because of too much weight on the front. And the wagon also has laser and rocket turrets manned by Fmeks and has a fusion power cell to power it all.

That's what Twilight, Dipper and Wendy walked into, a battleground. Pesterbot rolling across the frozen pond and easily destroying the mechs sent to fight him. The lego city's auto defense turrets could do little against the thick metal plating that protected the robot and a salvo of rockets took out the city's power grid, causing the turrets to go offline. And right behind the giant tank like robot is Killgore leading the rest of the Fmeks into battle, who are all riding in war machines either lego made or put together using scrap parts taken from Gravity Falls. Surging forward seeing the defense guns no longer firing. Already lego land is breaking apart because of the ice and rockets, exposing the size crystals underneath the city.

!

Lego Land -

Charging into battle Twilight using her telekinesis lifts Pesterbot into the air and threw him away from the lego city. Wendy welding an axe which she brought with her to break some crystals for samples, began batting away at the Fmek war machines. Join by Twilight who is using her telekinesis and hooves on the evil horde. Pesterbot got back up using his claw arm to get himself off of his side and began attacking Wendy and Twilight. The later using her telekinesis to block the incoming attacks with a log and spinning it in the air in front of her. Wendy was also put on the defense as the Fmeks fires their weapons at her and while the smaller energy weapons don't pack a punch as a normal size one did, it still hurts her.

Dipper on the other hand having brought along some tape and a flashlight grabbed a size crystal and attach it to the flashlight. Seeing how there's fighting in the lego city and at his current size he would just end up breaking more stuff then saving. He used the flashlight on himself shrinking himself down so while he's still a giant compared to the lego people and the Fmeks he isn't so big that he would accidentally destroy the city. And he began helping the lego people fight off the aliens. Kicking at the Fmeks and knocking their flying machines out of the sky like in a giant monster movie.

!

Camp Lakebottom -

Inside the kitchen of the mess hall of the camp, Rosebud is preparing lunch for the campers. She's being helped by a Mr. Handy who has a pincer arm, a buzz saw arm for cutting up food, and a fire extinguisher arm. Seeing how the stoves and ovens are electric and didn't need a blowtorch to light them up.

Rosebud is also being helped by Huntress Wizard who brought in a giant catfish which is so big that it had tried to shallow her when she was out fishing. Which resulted her being shallowed with only her legs sticking out of its mouth. Luckily she was with Canyon who is big enough to pull the catfish out of the water and killed the catfish by slamming it on some rocks, then pulling her friend out.

They got their pictures taken and video taken of catching the largest catfish caught in the lake. At over 10 long and weighing over 800 pounds, the catfish broke lots of records. The only question is how such a big catfish could had been in the lake without Steven Magnet, Slimey, the gobblewonkers or any other sapient aquatic races seeing it. The reason is because of the lost rice size size changing crystal that made a normal sized catfish into a giant.

Outside Canyon is cutting up the catfish to be cooked up, being the only one big enough to be able to clean the fish quickly. She removed the organs and guts of the catfish saving the organs for herself and Hunter Wizard as unlike humans they can safely eat fish organs. She's giving the pieces of flesh to the cooks in the mess hall through the window, placing them on a table where the cooks would prepare them in different dishes.

"You have void eggs?" Huntress Wizard ask Rosebud. She's looking inside the refrigerator and found a case of void eggs. Void eggs are jet-black eggs with red flecks. They're warm to the touch, normally.

"They're selling them and as long as you cook them they're just like any other chicken egg," Rosebud said.

"Is there any Void Mayonnaise?" Huntress Wizard ask. It's a thick, black paste that smells like burnt hair, which makes humans sick if eaten raw, it's only safe when it's cook. For some non humans like herself, they can eat it like normal mayonnaise which is very popular.

"Nope Armand, ate that already. You can get it at the Tons grocery store, or online," Rosebud said.

"I could have made Mystery Buns with the catfish," Huntress Wizard said.

"Just use those eggs to add more flavor to the stew," Rosebud said stirring the big pot of catfish stew, adding salt and pepper to it.

"Alright" Huntress Wizard said taking the case of void eggs out to add to the stew.

!

Lego Land -

Twilight and Wendy held out against Pesterbot and the Fmeks long enough for Dipper to finish off the ones in the city. Dipper was now small enough where he could hear and talk to the lego people and the friends. Working together with Dipper protecting the lego people they repaired the city's power grid and defense network. Reactivating the city's auto defense turrets that blasted the flying and ground vehicles of the Fmeks. Dipper smashing all the hard targets with his sheer size and strength while the others gave him support, keeping the Fmeks from overwhelming him with their firepower. And working together with the heroes of the lego land they drove the Fmek's out.

"Don't run, fight!" Killgore shouted at his minions who ran by him.

"Killgore, I heard of you from Jenny," Dipper said having read Jenny's blog.

"And you know that she fears me," Killgore said staring at the taller human who was only about a foot tall a little bit taller then him.

"What she feared was people hating her because the people in the town she use to live in all found you cute and would hate her if she destroyed you. Which was a waste of time as they never appreciated her saving them in the first place," Dipper said.

"She was a fool not to destroy me when she had the chance," Killgore laughs.

Which Dipper responded by kicking Killgore knocking him over and using the flashlight shrinks Killgore to a smaller size. Dipper looks down at the struggling robot trying to get up from his side. Dipper lifts his foot into the air and brings it down on Killgore, repeatedly till he was nothing but bits and pieces. (4)

Meanwhile across the frozen pond, Twilight and Wendy were being push back. Wendy was bleeding from the number of rockets she's been hit with and lasers burning her skin. It's only because she's a deer woman that she's able to take being hit so much. Twilight is also covered in wounds and used up most of her energy shielding Wendy and herself from attacks by creating a barrier around them, by using rocks that are spinning around them.

"They're weakening forward!" Pesterbot shouted to the Fmeks.

Those were the last words Pesterbot said as an energy blast engulfs him. The energy blast caused the fusion power cell to blow up with the chillwater tank. The blast took out all the Fmeks riding on Pesterbot and around him. Looking up the crowd below up to see Jenny and her sisters flying down, blasting at the remaining Fmek war machines. The Fmeks tried to flee but were sprayed with knock out gas from the robot sisters, XJ-1 and XJ-2 protected Twilight, Wendy and the people in the Lego land from the gas by creating a forcefield around them.

"Looks like that's all of them," Jenny said scanning the area and finding all the Fmeks in range are either dead or knock out.

"Thanks for coming," Twilight said.

"Always happy to help any friend of Stump," XJ-5 said.

"Now where is Killgore?" Jenny ask.

"Right here," Dipper said holding the broken remains of Killgore in his hand. "I know you wanted to do it but I kind of beat you to it."

"Is it me or have you gotten smaller?" Jenny ask looking down at Dipper and spotted several lego people dress as ninjas riding on his hat. "And are those living lego people?"

"It's a long story," Dipper said.

After the SCP cleanup crew arrived and gathered up all the remaining Fmeks, putting them in cages and loading them into prison trucks. As for the remains of the two robots that lead them, Jenny gathered up the pieces and said something about tossing the pieces into the recycler, to make sure there's no way for them to be rebuilt. The size crystals are confiscated and the nation of Ninjago is being moved to a safer place. Jenny and her sisters are going to transport Ninjago to the Breezies preserve which is a government protected area for the small Breezies which they would fit in. Helping to clean up the mess are several volunteers from Gravity Falls Brighton who hearing that there are living lego people came in droves.

Many people of Ninjago volunteer to be grown by the crystals, but the majority of the population remains tiny as they do not have enough houses for all of them, and the structural integrity of the island nation had been compromised from the crash and battle, so growing it or the houses there was a bad idea. The Lego citizens volunteer to help build houses and they proved to be rather good at this but only with legos.

Jenny talking to the lego ninjas regarding information on the Hands of Time, revealing that this isn't the first time they met living legos. Jenny learns from the ninjas about the Vermilion Warriors that the Hand of Time have at their disposal. The Serpentine ask that if caught, the Vermillion warriors be given to their custody, as they are one of them.

Meanwhile, Dipper watches the crystals being quarantined and loaded into trucks. The XJ sisters had carefully mined all the crystals from underneath Ninjago and filling up the empty space underneath with rocks and dirt. He looks at the growth crystal he'd acquired to allow him to fight in the lego city. He then looks down at his loins.

"Don't even think about it," Wendy said as snatches it out of his hand and pockets it... for safe keeping.

"Yeah, I'm still growing on my own," Dipper said blushing but would still keep the crystal just in case he needs it.

!

SCP Base -

In the SCP base, Doctor Buck is in the control room looking at the screen of the room that contain the size changing crystal. The lights are very dim to prevent the crystals from changing size of something. After some testing they learn that the light has to be bright or the effect wouldn't work.

"As far as the test have shown, the size changing just makes things bigger and smaller with no ill effect," Molly said who over saw the testing. Showing Buck a doll size table and chair which were normal size.

"And the results of the lab animals?" Buck ask.

"Well the mouse is now the size of a cat and a goat the size of a mouse," Molly said bringing up a screen that shows a white mouse the size of a cat. The next is a goat the size of a mouse.

"It would explain the giant butterfly and the mouse size deer that were found," Buck said.

"And the food it was tested on also have no side effects," Molly said. Showing the screen shot of the giant jolly rancher in the lunchroom being chipped away at.

"We have to be very careful in how this is used. On one hand this can prove useful in resources, just make them bigger. And make things smaller. On the other hand it can easily be misused," Buck said. "We do have all the pieces right?" (5)

"That's unknown, there can be pieces around and people could have them and have no idea what it is," Molly said.

"Hopefully it won't be too much of a problem,"

!

In Australia -

Him looks over the destruction and death that use to be a rain forest called FernGully. The fairies that once lived in the forest were all dead thanks to their ancient foe who he freed from that tree. Hexxus an entity of destruction whose ultimate goal is to destroy nature for his pleasure. He feeds off of pollution such as smoke, slime, and sludge.

"I must say, I love your work," Him said looking down at the dead fairies who all have painful death faces on them. Not to mention all the different and painful ways they all died. Some burn, others choke on smog, others engulf in sludge or slime and so on.

"What can I say, I'm an artist," Hexxus said in his smoke form. He inhales deep as he feeds off of the smoke from the fire he started that's burning the forest around them.

"So, are you in?" Him ask.

"I'm sure am," Hexxus said.

!

Author's Notes -

1 - I hate how people think that any future event foretold can never be changed. Like you're going to die in a car crash tomorrow, just don't go driving and stay inside for the whole day. You'll be fine. Besides that kind of thing is just plot points where no matter what the event can't be changed. And in real life the future foretold is so cryptic that it can mean anything.

2 - Everything that living on the lego world is about the size of a real life bee at the biggest, including the legos.

3 - Remove and do not eat the organs, head, skin and the dark fatty tissue along the back bone, lateral lines and belly. Mercury is in the edible (fillet) portion of fish. Therefore, you cannot lower your exposure to mercury by cooking or cleaning the fish. Large fish usually have the highest levels of PCBs and mercury.

4 - With small foes that can be step on. The only reason they last so long in most fiction is because if it was that easy the plot wouldn't be that long.

5 - Something that can make things big or small is never really used that well. Like making something like food bigger to feed more people with less.

!