When I go live.

Have you ever been depressed? That kind of depression that eats you slowly, alone and you don't want to let others know? That kind of depression that makes you fake on the outside while on the inside you are scattered in pieces? The kind of depression that makes you feel lonely and lonelier every day? It makes you even hate yourself instead of loving yourself? That's what I'm going through. Not just now but it's been with me for years now.

I always do my best in everything, I give it my best and I do it like it's my last. When dancing, I always dance from the heart and when tapping or singing it's the same. I'm the main rapper in our group and also the lead dancer. The main dancer is Shin but I'm the lead dancer because I'm so good at teaching the others the dances. I'm good at doing choreography and I dance pretty well too. I've been dancing ever since I was young and I think it's an art. Dancing is an art to me.

When we first debuted, it was Shin who got worldwide attention. Everyone was amazed by his charming visuals, his angelic voice, and also his dancing. I also admired him too. He is short and at that time he was even shorter and innocent. You would say that he was the youngest in the group by the is not. Shin gained attention when our first song came out, the video was on another level and in the comment section everyone was talking about the big with the silver-dyed hair. He deserved it though because his vocals on the chorus were what made the song even more famous. I was so proud of him at that time and I still am today. Sometimes I think that maybe if it weren't for that song blowing up then maybe we would have already disbanded because we had begun giving up in life. Living in one room, a small one, and yet not being able to afford the rent and food was no joke. Giving out invitation cards to our concerts on the streets whereby only around a hundred people showed up wasn't a joke either but it motivated us, it made us happy and look where we are now. Just going live on weverse is attracting tens of millions of fans and a concert is usually done in super big halls and stadiums because of the fans, the fairies.

After Shin, it was Kim Woo Jin's turn to rule the world. Pwolewere impressed with his deep voice and sexy visuals. Even Doctors say that he has the best facial angle for a man, the nose and everything. You wouldn't have realized how handsome he was when we were younger like right now. He has been labeled the most sexiest man alive countless times and he is the second most searched person in the world right now, according to social networks. With no doubt, I would say that too. He is amazing and a cartoonist. Everyone adores him and literally anything he touches is like gold because it ends up selling at the instant and at a very high price. Just the other day, he took a video on a black leather sofa that was just three hundred dollars but it ended up being sold at a hundred thousand dollars. Was probably bought by a Chaebol. Rumors have it that the daughter of a chaebol has a crush on him and that's why she flaunted the money on the seat. He's a lucky guy, isn't he? I admire him so much.

Let's talk about Jeon Evek, the maknae of the group. Didn't gain much attention in the first years but when the time came it blew up like a volcano. He's the shyest but lately, he has been gaining a lot of confidence. He is also growing his hair too, getting so long. He is literally good at everything and has a lot of hobbies, including the fact that he is a good copy cut. Do something right now and you'll find him doing it, sing something right now, and in the next second he'll be singing. Dance a new style now and then you think that he is not watching, you'll find him dancing the exact same style. He is the fastest learner in everything. He is an idol, probably the most loved among all of us. Fans up to twenty million watch him when he goes live on weverse and trust me it's the most amazing feeling when all these people leave whatever they are doing just to support you and show you love. It feels so good. Evel is super handsome and sexy, ranked number one worldwide, and whoever ranks it understands the assignment quite well.

After the others, then it's me, Park Min Jae. Well, I don't know what to say about myself but I feel like I'm the least attractive and the least loved. Each time I go live to talk to the fairies because I want to spend time with them, they always ask for the other members. It's not bad but they don't usually do it when the others are live. When it's me they always want someone else and this makes me feel like they don't want me too. I love the fairies so much, they are the reason for my existence and where I am right now and I really appreciate that but why am I never enough like the others? Why can't they love me like the others? Why can't they also give me attention too? I always have a lot of things to tell and share with them when I go live but I always end up almost saying nothing because, in the entire live broadcast, I have to answer questions like where is Shin? What is he doing right now? Is Evel still doing his gym classes? Has Woo Jin started eating spicy foods? When will Shin go live? Why is Evel not with you? Can you tell Woo Jin to go live too? He hasn't been going live for so many days.

Honestly, I love the fairies and my group members so much but sometimes it feels kinda suffocating and lonely. I want them to treat me as well as they treat the other. I just want the fairies to love me just like how I love them.