11. Chapter 11

The clock read 4:30AM, but Maya was wide awake. She had another thirty minutes before the alarm would sound and she’d need to get out of bed, but there was no use in trying to sleep.

It was Monday, which meant that she had to report to District Six. The drive was two hours long and Maya wasn’t sure what to expect upon arrival. She’d been with Station 19 since the day she graduated from the academy. Pruette Herrera had chosen her personally. She’d learned how to be a firefighter there, how to do the job better than anyone else could. Station 19 had been the first safe place she’d found safety in her entire life. After years of living under Lane’s roof, the station provided a home in a way she’d never experienced.

She cooked in its kitchen and slept in its bunks. She knew every inch of the station. Every corner, every filing cabinet, every grease stain in the barn.

But all of that safety had been ripped away from her. Her home no longer felt like a home. It felt like living with Lane all over again. The anxiety walking through the door – never knowing if she was about to face a reprimand or humiliation. The loss of her captaincy and constant reminders that Ross and Beckett saw her as worthy of disdain.

Maya shrugged her shoulders, uncomfortable with her racing thoughts. She knew she could still get a quick run in if she moved fast, but she didn’t want to move at all because there was a warm body pressed against her side and Maya didn’t want to leave.

If she’d thought of Station 19 as a home, Carina redefined that word. For so long Maya had thought that if she prioritized her marriage, she was somehow not taking her job as seriously as required. That if she put anything but the job first, she would be irresponsible and lazy. Her ambition focused solely on work and anything else was a distraction.

Now she understood that she had been wrong. She could have Carina, she could have love and rest. And it didn’t make her a bad firefighter. It made her a better one. Carina was her home, Carina was her safety. It didn’t mean she couldn’t find home and safety at the station again, but she could have both, one didn’t cancel out the other.

They’d made plans. Good plans to help make the next three weeks pass as painlessly as possible. Due to conflicting schedules, Maya was going to spend the first week staying at a motel in Castle Rock. She’d come home on the weekend for a visit, but with Carina spending most of the week at the hospital, it didn’t make sense to do the commute only to come home to an empty apartment.

In the meantime, Carina was going to look into freezing her eggs and she also planned to speak with Cormac about Jamie. Maya asked Carina to update her about Jamie as often as possible. She wanted to FaceTime when Carina was in the NICU and she wanted pictures too. The plan made Maya feel in control, it helped calm some of her anxiety.

It also made her even more upset that she needed to leave at all. While she hadn’t decided about Jamie yet, spending time with the baby and sleeping next to her wife were proving to be the cure for Maya’s inner turmoil. She didn’t want to go. She resented the fact that this placement meant that she was missing time with her wife. That she was missing time with Jamie. And even though she’d be home in six days, it was six days too much.

Plus she had another two weeks to get through after that…

Which is why she was so loathe to get out of bed.

“Bambina, you are thinking very loudly.” Carina’s sleepy voice held a note of annoyance, but it made Maya smile.

“Sorry to disturb you, Sleeping Beauty.”

Carina pushed herself up on one elbow and looked down at Maya with a soft smirk.

“Tell me what’s here,” she said, tapping one finger against Maya’s forehead.

The last thing Maya felt like doing was talking about her feelings. They were ever present, they were a constant source of distraction. Her mind was so loud, her brain twisting itself into knots over and over again. She wanted a reprieve.

Maya shrugged again. “It’s nothing, Carina, you should try to get more sleep.”

Two perfectly manicured eyebrows rose in clear displeasure. Carina was not impressed and Maya knew her wife was not going to accept silence.

“I’ve been with 19 since my early twenties. I’ve never spent a day anywhere else,” Maya sighed, forcing herself to speak, “and now not only am I going to a new station, but I have to literally leave Seattle. And I have to leave you and it’s just…it’s not fair and I’m pissed and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“They will be lucky to have you, you know?” Carina lay one hand on Maya’s stomach and Maya tried to absorb the comfort.

“Ross has probably told them I’m incompetent.”

Carina shook her head, frowning.

“You are Lieutenant Maya Bishop,” she said, the hand on Maya’s stomach sneaking under her tank top, “you are very strong. And very brave. You have the fastest response time in the state.”

Carina kissed Maya’s shoulder, letting her hands wander across Maya’s abdomen.

“You are an Olympic champion, and you are beautiful, you know more about fire than anyone because you are dedicated and brilliant and no one can compete with you because you always win.”

Maya knew exactly what Carina was doing, but she wasn’t about to stop her. She felt a confident grin tug at her lips, she felt herself agreeing with Carina because Carina was right.

She was the best.

She knew she was the best.

Carina pulled Maya’s tank top up, letting it settle just beneath her chin and before Maya could register the cool air against her, Carina leaned over and circled one nipple with her lips.

“Oh, uh…okay…” Maya half moaned, half laughed as Carina sucked her. First one nipple than the other. She stopped just as quickly as she started, rising to look at Maya with dark, wanting eyes.

“No one has ever touched me like you do. No one has ever given me pleasure like you do. No one has ever taken me like you do…”

Maya completely forgot why she was upset in the first place. She felt six feet tall. She felt like she could tear logs in two with her bare hands.

Carina’s mouth was so wet against her, she wanted desperately to feel that mouth elsewhere, but soon the alarm sounded and Maya groaned, knowing she had to move. Carina stopped her with a strong hand on her shoulder, pinning Maya to the bed.

“So, Maya Bishop, you are going to go to this Castle Rock and you are going to show them who you are. And when you come home next Sunday, I am going to do things to you that you cannot even begin to imagine, and I am going to let you do things to me that are unspeakable.”

Maya whimpered, especially when she belatedly realized that Carina was naked beneath the nightie she’d worn to bed. Carina straddled Maya’s hips and thrust up, rubbing herself against Maya’s stomach, leaving a wet streak that left Maya winded.

“I want you to think about that all week,” Carina leaned down, nipping at Maya’s ear, “I want you think about it when you are with your new colleagues. When they are rolling hoses or when you are running drills. I want you to think about what you have waiting for you. What’s yours and only yours. What no one else can ever have. Can you do that for me, Bambina?”

The alarm blared and Maya found herself rendered speechless, overwhelmed with a heady sense of lust and self-confidence. She knew Carina had just the sweet spot of her praise kink and she didn’t even care. Whatever Carina had done worked and Maya felt on top of the world. Before she could tell Carina though, Carina gracefully slid away from Maya and hopped off the bed, leaving Maya lying flat on her back staring up at the ceiling.

“You’re going to be late,” Carina chided, already walking out the door.

Maya covered her face with her hands and exhaled.

~*~

Carina fussed around the apartment as Maya readied to leave and usually Maya would have found it annoying, but now it made her feel cared for, it made her feel loved.

She still wasn’t used to that particular feeling – a part of her would always be the child trying to earn love through achievements. The fact that Carina just loved her without any stipulations would always come as a bit of a shock. A welcome shock, but a shock nonetheless.

Maya stood by the door, double checking her backpack and the small suitcase by her feet. She’d packed her turnouts, helmet, and gear the night before and it was already in her car. The sky was still dark and Maya could still feel the warmth of their bed and the warmth of Carina’s body. Saying goodbye was just a reminder of another happiness taken from her. Another piece of joy ruined by bureaucracy.

Carina appeared with a travel mug in one hand and started playing with the zipper of Maya’s jacket. She zipped it and then tucked a strand of hair behind Maya’s ear.

“You will drive safe?” She asked, handing Maya the coffee.

“I will.” Maya set her free hand on Carina’s hip, pulling her closer.

“And you will text me when you get there?”

Maya leaned forward for a kiss, quieting Carina.

“Yes,” Maya whispered against Carina’s lips before moving her head down to find that long, graceful neck. She licked Carina’s pulse point, breathing deeply as if to memorize that perfect Carina scent.

“And you will be careful, Bambina. You are going to a volcano.”

Maya pulled away, surprised by the statement.

“You mean Mount Saint Helens?” Maya laughed, slipping her hand to rest on Carina’s lower back.

“Yes.”

“It hasn’t erupted since 1980. I think I’ll be okay. Plus, doesn’t Italy have a volcano?”

Carina raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. “Sì and look how well that went. Boom! And everyone is dead and covered in ashes and now stupido tourists pay a million euros to look at dead bodies.”

“Okay, okay,” Maya swallowed back more laughter and instead kissed Carina’s lips again, “I will keep away from any lava I see. And stupido tourists.”

“Bene.”

Carina traced Maya’s bottom lip with her tongue, forcing her to open her mouth, and Maya cursed the Seattle Fire Department for keeping her from this woman for even a day. For even an hour.

She finally pulled away, pressing her forehead against Carina’s.

“I have to go,” she said, unable to keep the sadness from her voice.

“I know, Bella. Ti amo.”

“I love you too.”

Maya took the handle of her suitcase in her free hand and turned towards the door. She felt a hard smack against her ass and with one final look at her smirking wife she left, already counting the minutes until she could come home.

~*~

The streets were nearly empty as Maya drove through early morning Seattle. She followed the robotic voice of her GPS, turning south, heading towards the I-5. It all felt surreal, as if any moment Station 19 would appear before her and she’d go to work. Like normal. Like usual.

But nothing was normal or usual anymore.

The freeway took her through nameless suburbs and she lost count of the number of McDonalds and Targets and Walmarts she passed. A podcast about international sports scandals played through the car speakers and Maya tried to drown out her endlessly racing thoughts. An uncomfortable sadness mingled with frustration, the helplessness that came with unfair punishment…

Maya resented every mile that took her farther and farther away from Carina. She resented every minute that ticked by. She thought about what Jack and Andy were doing. What Vic and Travis and Ben were doing. How lucky they were that they could go to 19, that they didn’t have to experience exile.

Ben hated to be away from Bailey for even a day. He was always grouchy during his 48-hour shifts. So how was it fair that Maya had to leave her wife? How was it fair that Maya’s family mattered less than Andy’s ambition or Jack’s confidence? How was it fair that Maya’s own ambition and confidence were viewed as greed and insubordination? She stewed quietly, sipping her coffee, trying to let the familiar taste of Carina’s unique blend bring her calm.

Soon, the urban sprawl gave way to dense forest and something shifted in Maya’s chest.

Away from the city, far from the constant reminders of Station 19 and SFD, the douglas firs blew lightly in the wind and she watched, spellbound, breathing in time with the swaying branches. She turned down the volume on her podcast and cracked open the window, wondering if she could hear the rustling of the trees and sure enough, over the din of her car engine, she could just make out the forest’s whisper.

The air smelled like pine and with an hour left on her drive, Maya finally felt herself calm enough to focus on the day ahead. She was going to District Six located in the town of Castle Rock in Cowlick County. The captain’s name was Nadine Dale, a local legend whom Maya had once seen from afar during her academy days. She didn’t know much about Cowlick County, but she knew fires and she knew fires started in big cities and in small towns and they had little concern for location or who was in charge of extinguishing the flames. Fire was fire. And Maya knew fire.

She drove, listening to the trees, smiling softly at how comforting it was to be so surrounded by nature. Maya’s thoughts naturally drifted to Carina as she wondered if her city-loving wife would enjoy the pine scented air or the noisy leaves. Carina appreciated beauty, she saw it in so many things, and Maya wished that Carina was beside her.

Thinking about Carina immediately led to thinking about Jamie. Maya found herself imagining Jamie in a car seat, or Jamie strapped to her chest as they walked a forest trail. She wished Jamie could smell the air, she wished Jamie could see the sky. It hurt Maya’s heart to know that the only time Jamie had been outside was the night of her rescue.

I want to show her everything. The trees. The sky.

I want to show her the world…

The trees suddenly thinned out and the road rose before her, and in the distance, Maya could see the looming grandeur or Mount Saint Helens. She hadn’t been since childhood on a school field trip – a trip marred by Lane’s insistence on chaperoning. They’d shared a tent and in the morning before her classmates awoke, he’d had her running up and down the trails. He’d also kept her from eating s’mores or drinking soda or doing much besides walking and unpacking camping equipment.

What would he think of me now…

Maya shook away the intrusive thought, choosing instead to take in the mountain. Again, her mind drifted to Jamie. Only this time Jamie was thirteen, her hair brunette like Carina’s, her eyes blue, and Maya would let her eat s’mores and drink soda and fall asleep surrounded by her friends.

She wasn’t sure what to make of the idea, of the fact that instead of focusing on the job ahead, she kept thinking about the little baby lying in Grey-Sloan’s NICU. But she knew the thought of taking Jamie camping was much more pleasant than the thought of Lane’s displeasure, of how disappointed he’d be in her demotion, in her marriage, in every single thing about her.

The GPS instructed her to veer off the freeway and with the mountain still looming ahead and the trees once more blanketing the landscape, Maya turned towards Castle Rock. It was a small town, quaint, with one main street dotted with gift shops and local amenities. Maya knew that District Six serviced numerous towns and villages in the county, but she wondered how much work there really was to do. Maybe Ross had sent her away to die of boredom.

District Six was a modest building close to the river, far different from Station 19’s modern, sleek construction. She pulled into the lot and parker her car but paused before venturing out. With both hands on the wheel Maya tried to centre herself.

I am Lieutenant Maya Bishop

I am great

I am the best

Maya unplugged her phone and sent a quick text to Carina saying that she had arrived safely. She smiled as three dots blinked under her message and dutifully waited to see what her beautiful wife had to say.

Carina had nothing to say. She had something to show and Maya nearly moaned as the picture Carina sent appeared onscreen.

Her wife was very naked, up on her knees, biting her lip, and looking at the camera in a way that told Maya she knew exactly what she was doing. One hand had disappeared into her barely there thong and her nipples were visibly hard, and Maya wondered if she should turn the car around and drive back to Seattle.

Maya: Not helping, DeLuca ;)

Carina: Miss you already <3

Maya: <3

~*~

The front desk of District Six looked more like a high school principal’s office than a fire station. Maya could see a door leading to the barn on her left and a long hallway to the right was likely the location of numerous offices, lockers, maybe even a gym or a beanery.

She approached the desk, eyeing the white-haired man sitting behind a desktop computer, squinting at the screen.

“Hello?” She stood tall, unsure what to expect. The man’s uniform read Jennings and judging by his age, he’d likely been with the department for a long time.

“Hi!” Came the friendly reply.

“I’m Lieutenant Maya Bishop.”

White eyebrows rose in recognition and then a smile appeared beneath a comically bushy moustache. “Yes! Lieutenant Bishop! We’ve been expecting you. Second door to your right, Captain Dale will be pleased.”

Jennings pointed towards the hallway and Maya was a little surprised by the warm reception. She’d expected hesitation or suspicion. She was a stranger walking into a well-established station. It always caused a little unease.

Maya quickly followed Jennings’s instruction, already hearing the tell-tale signs of a station kitchen as she walked down the hallway. At the second door she paused and then knocked, waiting until she heard come in before entering.

Unlike the captain’s office at Station 19, District Six’s captain’s quarters appeared to be warm and homy. There was a couch on one side of the room and the desk was likely a relic from the 1960s. Maya tried not to react to the taxidermized bear head over the desk, though admittedly she preferred her bears dead on a wall to alive and dismantling faces.

Captain Nadine Dale stood as Maya entered, her smile again surprising Maya.

“Welcome, Lieutenant Bishop,” she said, gesturing for Maya to take a seat.

Nadine Dale was in her 50s, one of the rare female captains in the state. She had a round face and greying hair, but Maya could tell from her strong shoulders that she was still very fit for duty.

Maya sat in the offered chair. “Thank you, Captain Dale. I hope I’m not late.”

“Late? You’re ten minutes early, Bishop. Can I get you a coffee? I know you Seattle types think your coffee is the best, but this right here,” Dale said raising her mug, “this is God’s coffee, I swear.”

Maya raised her eyebrows but decided not to share the fact that her wife was Italian and, therefore, any coffee made on this side of the Atlantic was immediately considered swamp water.

“I’m fine. Thank you,” Maya said instead.

Dale took another sip and settled. “I do appreciate you being here, Lieutenant Bishop. We’ve had a recent retiree and we just can’t keep up with the demand.”

“Demand?”

“I know it looks small around these parts. You won’t find tall buildings on fire or even factories. But between the campfire accidents, containing potential forest fires, tourists doing stupid things, old cabins…it’s a busy place.”

Maya nodded, trying to conceal her surprise.

“Anyways,” Dale continued, “I’ve sent you your schedule. We have a locker for your gear and another one for your uniform. If you’d like to meet the rest of the crew, I’d be happy to make introductions.”

It was 7:15AM and Maya found herself in unfamiliar territory that somehow felt familiar. She stood in the Beanery, shaking callused hands with people who she recognized as fellow firefighters. These were her people; she was part of this family.

Maya was pleased to see a woman amongst the group of mostly male firefighters. She extended her hand in greeting, noting the woman’s uniform read Hawk, and after exchanging names, the woman held onto her hand for a second longer than necessary.

“Bishop? Your station has the fastest response time in the state. I heard you were responsible for that?” She asked.

Maya nodded. “It’s true.”

“Care to reveal your secrets?” A probie who had introduced himself as Mike Jacobi asked.

Again, Maya was struck by how friendly everyone seemed to be. How open.

“Sure, if it’s fine with Captain Dale.” Maya turned to the captain, mindful not to overstep. Running drills was the captain’s job. And Maya wasn’t the captain.

Rather than refuse, Captain Dale smiled wide and took a whistle out of her pocket, which she proceeded to hand to Maya.

“They’re all yours, Lieutenant,” she laughed.

No one eyed her as a competitor. They were legitimately grateful for her presence. They wanted to learn from her. They appreciated her knowledge and her experience. Maya had forgotten the feeling though if she was honest with herself, she’d never really felt it before in her career.  

Before she walked out to her car to grab her turnouts, Captain Dale showed her where the lockers were, revealing a crisp new navy shirt for Maya to wear when she was not on calls. It looked just like her usual uniform, her name embroidered on the chest and a single bar on each collar.

She took in the unfamiliar patch, sighing heavily at the Cowlick County District Six emblem. And then she reached into her backpack and retrieved the ring box that she usually kept in her locker at Station 19.

She took off her gold wedding band and placed it inside the box, switching it with her silicone ring.

District Six was not Station 19. The names of her colleagues were new to her. The embroidered sigil on her uniform was not the same. But as she placed the ringbox on the top shelf of her locker, she felt her resolve strengthen. Because what mattered most was still there. She was a skilled firefighter. And she was a devoted wife to the most extraordinary woman on the planet. And no one could take that from her.

I’m Maya Bishop.

And I am great.

~*~

By the time Maya pulled into the lot of her motel, it was well after dark. The single-story building was a modest establishment, ten rooms side by side, backing onto what seemed like an endless forest. Maya was still enamoured with the huge douglas firs, finding herself distracted by their presence on her way to the front office to grab her keys.

She’d picked The Roadhouse North for its four-star reviews, but she hadn’t realized that the motel was slightly off the beaten track.

Despite the short distance from town, she liked the separation. Castle Rock was small, but the ten-minute drive to the motel made her feel like she’d left work behind and entered a different world. The air once again smelled like pine and as she came to a stop in front of room seven, she took one extra moment to inhale deeply before slipping the key in the lock and walking inside.

The room itself was simple but clean. A queen-sized bed took up most of the space and there was a minifridge in one corner and a TV on top of a dressed facing the bed. Someone had left a few tourist brochures on the small table under the window and Maya briefly glanced at them.

There was one for the Monitor Ridge Summit Trail that led to the top of Mount Saint Helens and another simply labelled “Big Foot Tour.” It made Maya roll her eyes though the dense forest behind the motel seemed especially mysterious so late at night. She was fairly certain she could hear an owl hooting somewhere in the distance…

Maya set her suitcase on the bed and quickly unpacked. She looked at the clothes as she re-folded them – a pair of jeans, gear for running, a Henley or two – and it all seemed out of place. Seattle was only two hours away, but it may as well have been across the ocean. Despite the warmth of the room and its quaint charm, Maya suddenly felt uncomfortably alone.

She kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed trying to decide what to do. Usually after a shift, she’d share a glass of wine with Carina and they’d watch something together. Or they’d have sex. Tired sex or I missed you sex or we’re bored sex or I can’t live without you sex. Ending the day with Carina in her arms always made life feel a little less intense, a little less exhausting.

Inspired by the memory, Maya pulled out her phone and tapped Carina’s name on the FaceTime app. She knew Carina was at work, but on the off chance her wife had a few minutes to spare…

The phone rang twice before Carina picked up. There was a bit of static before her face came into view, but Maya felt herself immediately smile as she realized that Carina was in the NICU.

“Ciao, Bella,” Carina said, her voice soft, but full of genuine happiness.

“Hey, you,” Maya answered, settling back against the headboard.

“How was your day? Were they nice to you?”

Maya briefly felt like she’d gone off to summer camp and Carina was trying to protect her from bullies. The bullies were back in Seattle. Maya was much safer in Castle Rock.

“It was good, “Maya said, “everyone was very welcoming. The captain even let me run drills.”

“How many calls?”

“Three. A campfire and then some idiot fell down a ridge and needed rescue. Same thing happened to another guy a few hours later.”

“Stupido,” Carina shook her head. Maya couldn’t disagree with her assessment.

“It felt…weird,” Maya said, “They’re all nice and skilled. But I don’t know, this just feels…it feels weird.”

Carina nodded and then tipped her phone down, adjusting the camera to show Maya that they were not alone. Jamie lay in the crook of Carina’s elbow, sniffling with teary eyes.

“Is she okay?” Maya sat up a little straighter, concern flooding her body.

“Yes. The nasal cannula has been rubbing against her cheeks for too long. They’re very red and very sore, aren’t they Piccolina?”

The phone shifted one more time and Maya realized that Carina was likely trying to find somewhere to set it down. There was some shuffling before the image came back and then Maya could see that Carina had adjusted Jamie who was now lying on her shoulder. One of her little hands was curled into the collar of Carina’s scrubs and Maya was struck by how badly she wished she could be there. By how badly she wanted to take Jamie’s hurt away.

“Is there a cream they can use?” Maya felt helpless, fantasizing that she could reach through the phone and dry Jamie’s tears.

“Sì. And the nurses adjusted the tape, but we are very sad tonight. Non è vero, Jamie?”

Carina rubbed Jamie’s back and Maya wondered if Jamie liked the feeling as much as she enjoyed it.

“Any update on her heart?” Maya asked, frowning when Carina shook her head.

Jamie blinked heavily, her eyes finding the screen, and Maya waved, though she had no idea if Jamie could see her or not.

“Guarda, angioletta! Puoi dire ciao?” Carina kissed the top of Jamie’s head, nuzzling her cheek against the baby’s wispy brown hair. It still made Maya feel like she had whiplash. She was equally enthralled as she was terrified by the image of her wife and this baby who had entered their lives without warning and was now potentially about to change everything.

Rather than let herself feel the anxiety of the situation, Maya settled against the pillows and stifled a yawn. “Are you on all night?”

“Yes. My break is almost up. Are you okay, Bambina?”

“I don’t know. I guess so.”

I want you here with me. I want to bury myself in you. I want to cling to your body in the night, my face pressed into the back of your neck. I don’t want to do this alone.

“Have you been thinking about what I told you this morning?” Carina never tore her eyes from Jamie, but Maya could see the coy grin on her face.

“Yes. I really, really wish it was Sunday,” Maya sighed.

Jamie tugged at Carina’s shirt and yawned so widely that Maya could see her tiny pink gums.

“Bring the phone closer to her,” Maya asked, waiting as Carina moved again. The screen was now entirely filled with Jamie’s face.

“Hey, Jamie,” Maya said, watching Jamie blink her big blue eyes, “anything to report? You taking care of Dr. DeLuca for me like we discussed?”

Carina laughed, lifting the phone. “You left Jamie in charge?”

“Jamie and I have an understanding.” Maya shrugged, not missing the way Carina hummed in response.

Eventually, Carina had to leave and the disappointment on her face matched the disappointment Maya felt.

“Will you be able to sleep?” Carina studied Maya, knowing how stressful the situation was.

Maya scratched the back of her head. “Hopefully. I wish you were here – you’re very good at putting me to bed.”

“Oh?” Carina’s grin was pure evil.

“Oh.” Maya answered, rolling her eyes affectionately.

“Well, if you need inspiration, I believe I sent you some this morning. And I put something in your backpack to help you get the job done.”

Maya glanced at the bag she’d left by the door.

“Did you put a vibrator in my backpack?” She asked, raising one eyebrow.

“Maybe.”

“Carina, have I been carrying around a vibrator all day?”

“Maaaaaaybe.”

Before Maya could respond, Carina’s pager sounded, effectively ending their conversation.

“Puoi dire arrivederci?” Carina asked Jamie, playfully waving her little hand at the phone.

Maya waved back. “Goodbye, Baby T-Rex. Goodbye, Dr. DeLuca, you temptress.”

“I love you, Maya Bishop,” Carina said.

“I love you too.”

And then the call ended and Maya was alone again in a motel room somewhere far from her wife.

Somewhere far from Jamie.

She exhaled, trying to hold onto the vision of Carina’s brown eyes, of Jamie’s fingers clinging to Carina’s scrub top, of Carina’s voice.

The trees blew restlessly outside the window, but inside, Maya let herself rest, warmed by the memory of Carina’s hands and Carina’s mouth and Carina’s heart.