17

Henry spent all his holidays at Liz's, coming home only to spend the night. The Dursleys, understandably, didn't mind. Henry had gotten to them with chemistry alone, and when combined with magic...

Uh-oh.

Of course, magic wasn't allowed during the holidays, but who would tell that to a Muggle family? Petunia tried to yell something, but Henry informed her that the laws had since changed - and the Dursleys paled visibly. They didn't want to grow tails or hair at all.

Liz had even given Henry a separate room. It held everything he didn't want the Dursleys to have in their house - everything from the magical world; there was a fancy rat house, piles of chemistry and alchemy books on the shelves, and the desk was perpetually a working mess...

Liz had deliberately locked the room door - and only Henry had the key. It was essential to the boy. He had something of his own.

And it was all the more frustrating to hear a squeaky voice as he crossed the threshold of the room:

- Harry Potter, a letter for you!

- Henry," the boy corrected mechanically but took the letter. Then he glanced at the postman.

- Well, if it isn't the letter carrier!

It was a small creature with grey skin, big green eyes and huge ears. Henry immediately remembered Gorloom.

- Who are you?

- I am Dobby, sir. Lord Malfoy's house elf, sir. Dobby is pleased to meet Harry Potter.

- Henry Potter.

- Dobby's a lousy elf! Dobby misnamed his master!

The elf jumped up and banged his head against the wall. Henry squirmed.

- Hey, stop!

Dobby froze in the middle of the room.

- Stay still until I read the letter.

The letter was from Draco and contained an invitation to a weekend getaway.

- Well... Liz? Aren't you coming in?

Liz showed up a few minutes later.

- What happened to... oops? What's with the Gorloom?

Henry snorted. But they'd read Lord of the Rings together.

- Dobby is a house elf, Miss! Dobby is not a Gollum!

- Shush, big ears. Henry, where did that come from? Don't tell me you raised a homunculus.

- It's from Malfoy. Read it, will you?

- Dobby's not a homunculus; Dobby's a house elf.

- I see," Liz ran her eyes over the letter. - Yeah, she did. Well, we'd better get going.

- And our fusion?!

- Well, I'll get stage one down and stage two up, and then wait. You'll be just in time.

- All right, well...

Fiddling with organic chemistry, snake venom in particular, was more interesting for Henry, but it would also be worth a trip to Malfoy. Why not?

- Then write back. Eeyore, will you pass it on?

- Dobby will miss it.

- Good.

Liz shook her head.

- By the way, Henry, can you check with the Malfoys to see if they have anything interesting on alchemy?

Henry immediately took an interest in the Malfoys. How could he not go and see the good people?

He quickly sketched out a few lines and gave them to Dobby.

- Pass it on.

- Yes, Henry Potter.

Dobby disappeared with a light clap. Liz rubbed her forehead.

- We should read up on house elves.

- I will.

****

At Malfoy Manor, Henry was taken over by the same house elf. His hosts greeted Henry. Henry met Draco's mother - the stunningly beautiful blonde Narcissa, maiden name Black - and learned they were distantly related. Thanked Lucius - and immediately asked about alchemy. Malfoy promised Henry to look up something interesting in the family library.

Henry thanked and spent the rest of his time chatting honestly with Draco. Flying his kindly borrowed broomstick, practising spells and lying on the beach. He could have done without passing, but Malfoy was so eager... I had to advise him to try out for the Quidditch team.

Why not?

Since his sophomore year, you could...

Lucius dignified Henry's conversation once.

- Henry, Draco told me about your meeting with the Lord. What happened there?

Lucius didn't want to lie. Maybe because Malfoy hadn't lied to him yet. Liz, of course, had explained to Henry that he had been invited for a reason and that Lucius had his interest, but it was better to be friends with everyone. Or at least adequate people and the Malfoys seemed to be just that.

So, Henry began to talk as honestly as possible.

He told how he and Draco had gone hunting the Unicorn Killer - this time without any blurbs. He even gave a demonstration that shocked Quirrell.

Lucius grinned in interest as he stared at the concoction.

- Not a drop of magic?

- Sir, muggles are, of course, prejudiced against Muggles, but they have a lot of exciting things to say. Serious magic is out of the hands of first-years, but this...

- It's dangerous.

- I suppose Quirrell would be even more dangerous.

- Well done, Henry. And I'm glad you've become friends with Draco.

- Draco's a good lad.

- Yeah, well... what was the second time? When you met the Lord?

Henry thought for a few minutes but decided to be honest.

I noticed the Gryffindors climbing into the forbidden corridor. I followed them, followed their trail, and bumped into Voldemort in the room with the mirror. But he was a bit... ...unfinished or something?

- What do you mean?

- I expected more from a serious villain. But here... stupid face, stupid speeches... and he died stupidly.

- Maybe it's because you've already killed him once.

Henry sighed. That was a question he had discussed with Liz and repeatedly.

- Sir, how do you know that?

Lucius hovered like an old Pentium.

- Excuse me, Henry?

- I read in the papers about that night. I am still figuring it out. There was Mum, Dad and me in the house. And Voldemort. Mum and Dad died, I couldn't talk, Voldemort died. И?

Lucius rubbed his forehead involuntarily.

- But Henry...

- As my aunt says, a delusion is something that everyone knows, but you don't know where it came from. Who told you?

- Determined...

- How?!

- They found the Lord's wand, I think, and clothes...

- So? Draco has a wardrobe full of clothes.

- And ashes...

- Can wizards genetically analyse ashes? Or are there teeth left behind? Anything not burned? Bones, plaques, medals, special marks?

- I never thought...

Henry waited for Lucius to realise. Then the nobleman looked up at the boy with icy eyes.

- Do you believe we have been deceived?

- What I've read in the newspapers sounds more like a soap opera than anything else. A Brazilian soap opera about love of some kind: Sir, it doesn't work like that in real life.

- You're making sense, Henry.

- Sir, are there any examination, interrogation, or eyewitness accounts records? Anything at all? Muggles have the police. What about Muggles?

- The Aurora.

- Do they have any accountability? Anything at all?

- I'll find out through my contacts.

Would it be all right if I looked at the records?

- Of course, Henry. I'll invite you in when I get them.

- Sir, I'd appreciate it.

- You're welcome, Henry. You have an exciting way of looking at the world. I've never thought about it, but it's a known fact...

Henry realised the audience was over and left. Lucius did not pay him any more attention for the rest of the weekend, but he kept a close eye on him. He even ordered Dobby to please Mr. Potter in every way.

Draco was pleased with his friend too.

Of course, Potter wasn't into Quidditch, but he didn't mind riding his broom. It was also fun to be with him. Chatting, laughing, listening to exciting stories about chemistry - Henry knew no other kind, but these were enough to go around. Who would have thought there was so much going on in chemistry?

****

The second time Henry saw Dobby was under strange circumstances.

The Dursleys were having a visit from the Very Important Persons. That is business partners who would take Uncle Vernon to the next level by signing a contract with him.

The whole house was scrubbed, a mega cake was prepared, and Henry was preventively locked in his bedroom so he wouldn't do anything wrong.

The boy himself took it easy. He had Organic Chemistry and a torch. So he could lie down and read. And he had already run to Liz in the morning - and would be gone all day tomorrow.

Let him... He and the Dursleys had developed a symbiotic mechanism, which Liz put succinctly, "If you don't touch it, it won't stink.

But he was hungry. And not a chocolate stash, but a chicken sandwich. Or mushroom soup.

- Yeah, it's a shame there's no Dobby...

- Mr Henry Potter called for Dobby?!

Henry shook his head.

- Dobby, wait, where did you come from?

- Mr Henry Potter called for Dobby.

- But I'm not a guest of the Malfoys, am I?

- Mr. Malfoy, the host, ordered Dobby to serve Henry Potter. Dobby heard Henry Potter call out to him - so he came.

- Oh, cool! How far can you come like that?

- Dobby will go wherever Mr Henry Potter calls him.

- (Laughs) Cool!

- Mr Henry Potter called, and Dobby came.

- Dobby, can you get me anything?

- Dobby can. What can I get for Mr Henry Potter?

- Well...

What was cooking in the kitchen, Henry knew.

- Some sandwiches from the kitchen. And a bottle of water from the fridge. Can you do that?

- Yes, Mr. Henry Potter.

- Just don't let anyone see me, or I'll be locked up here for a week.

- Somebody locked Henry Potter up!?

- Uncle and aunt. They're afraid...

- Why are they afraid of Henry Potter? Henry Potter is a hero!

- They're afraid I'll do something wrong. Like, I'm going to drop a cake on their heads magically. They've got an important meeting and locked me in without food.

Dobby's dull eyes lit up with an evil glow.

- They needn't be afraid of Mr Henry Potter. Dobby would be right back.

Henry looked at the disappearing elf with interest.

What would he bring? Would a turkey sandwich be good?

What's that?!

Vernon Dursle's shriek carried throughout the house.

- POTTER!!!

Henry hastily hid the torch book and assumed the most innocent sleeping appearance. And just in time.

The door swung open.

- Potter!!!

On the threshold stood Vernon Dursley. But.... he looked like he'd been given an excellent brutal thrashing in Aunt Petunia's cake.

- It's all you!!!

- What - me!?

Henry quite plausibly acted his newly awakened innocence.

- You walked out of here!?

- How?! You put a padlock on the outside!

Vernon's hanging.

- This is your joke!?

- What jokes?!

- Crashing the cake down on our heads.

- HOW!?

Henry's surprise was so genuine that Vernon slowed down. You can't play that.

- The cake sailed across the room - and collapsed in the middle of the table.

- Really?

Vernon snorted angrily.

- If that's you, you bastard...

- It wasn't me. I could swear on the Bible.

- What's the point of you swearing?

- But it's not me! You locked me in, I was asleep... ...and I'd have to see it, or you, for it to work on the cake!

- You're nothing but trouble, you little shit," Vernon growled. But he walked away.

The lock clicked.

Henry collapsed on the bed, shaking with silent laughter. Until it squeaked above his ear:

- Sandwiches for Henry Potter, sir.

Henry pulled himself away from the muffler pillow.

- Dobby, is that you? With cake?

- Dobby can! Dobby will protect Mr Henry Potter! Dobby won't let anyone hurt him! His master commands Dobby!

- Yes... A house elf on the warpath is a formidable force," Henry agreed.

Dobby nodded in agreement.

The sandwiches were delicious.

As Henry later learned from Dudley, when his parents were sitting at the table, a cake came out of the kitchen, sailed through the air, and smashed into the table with all its might, producing an effect no worse than an exploding shell. Henry shook his head.

He shook his head.

The house-saboteur!

He was a saboteur, for crying out loud!

However, the incident did have a positive effect. The Dursleys began to shy away from Henry even more. For if you don't touch... and there would be no repercussions.

****

After receiving a letter from Hogwarts, Henry decided to go to Diagon Alley to pick up some books.

Alone?

Of course not! Liz was interested!

Real wizards, witches, sorcerers - and not to look?! Never!

- Liz, you need to dress up somehow... You wouldn't look good in jeans and a Darth Vader T-shirt. - Henry said worriedly.

- What kind of clothes do you wear?

- Well... dresses, long dresses, hats... Like witches.

Liz thought long and hard.

She had two dresses in her wardrobe and no hats at all-what good would they be in a lab? Though...

- A witch? By the way...

Liz was rustling around in the pantry when she got out. But how!

Black long slit skirt, black blouse, tall pointy hat...

- Great! You'll fit right in! Liz, how did...

- I went to a masquerade once.

- Who were you supposed to be?

- An angel, of course.

- Where are the wings?

- They ripped them off. I had to fly on a broom.

My friends giggled and went shopping.

****

Liz and Henry decided to start at the bookshop as two book fans. And froze in shock at the vast crowd.

- What the hell is that?

- It's Mr. Lockhart! - Liz and Henry were struck by an exalted witch with a cleavage so low you could see her navel.

Liz and Henry took a closer look at the banner in the shop.

GILDEROY LOCKHART

will be handing out signed copies of his autobiography

WILD ME

12:30 to 4:30 p.m. today.

- Lockhart," Liz stretched out. - Ta-ka... isn't that the one?

The list of books said... or rather, two of them were NOT by Lockhart. The others were all written by Gilderoy the Magnificent. And they cost quite a bit.

- Shall we have a look?

- Absolutely," Liz decided. - She should at least read the annotations before buying.

Henry nodded, and her friends resolutely darted through the crowd.

An exhausted wizard stood at the shop door, saying: "Please take it easy, ladies... don't push... watch out for the books..."

- Where are you going without a queue! - Someone shrieked towards Liz.

- To the bathroom! - Liz cut it off. - Let me go; I'm going to pee!

The witch unlocked her fingers, and Liz and Henry slipped past the wizard. A long line stretched through the shop. They slid behind one shelf, then another...

- Is this Lockhart? - Liz squinted.

- I guess so. Who else would be signing books around here?

Gilderoy Lockhart sat on a table surrounded by his large portraits, which winked at the crowd and gleamed with dazzling white teeth. The honest Lockhart wore a mistletoe-coloured robe that matched his eyes perfectly; his pointy magical hat sat slightly unevenly on his wavy hair. Of course, he turned out to be a 'natural' blond.

The restless little man was dancing around and taking pictures with a giant black camera that spewed clouds of lilac smoke with every blinding flash.

- Creepy," Liz exhaled. - A pound of honey sprinkled with sugar.

- And jam on top. Nauseous," agreed Henry, amused by her friend's reaction. She seemed perfectly sane compared to the other witches.

- Where are his books? Ta-ak...

- Ugh!

After perusing the summaries and reading a few books, the friends realised this was fiction—or, more simply, worse, heresy.

Lockhart winked coquettishly from each cover, making them want to draw a moustache and horns.

- Henry, I don't think you should buy this gibberish," Liz decided. - Better yet, ask the third-years what kind of textbooks they were studying. Or write to Malfoy and let him know?

- Yeah, so.

The book was back in place, and Henry was already turning to the door when...

- Harry! Hi!

Ron Weasley swooped down and slammed Henry on the shoulder so that he almost knocked the shelving unit over.

- Harry Potter! You're here for the books too! Come on; we're almost to the front of the queue!

And sure enough, something ginger loomed up next to Lockhart - and in large numbers.

Henry had dragged two steps before recovering and wrenched his arm free.

- Ron, are you crazy? Let go!

But it was too late. Lockhart heard Ron.

- Harry Potter!? The Harry Potter!?

And Lockhart walked towards the boy with vast strides.

- Harry, don't be shy! Let's take a picture together for The Prophet. You and me together, we're front page news.

Henry jerked back, but Ron was propped up on the side and behind...

In the next instant, everything changed.

After receiving a nice kick, Ron flew out into the gap between the racks. And Lockhart's purse went over his head.

- KARAUL!!! - Liz screamed, "PEDOPHILES ATTACK!!!

Everyone froze for a moment.

Liz yanked Henry by the arm, pulling him aside. The cameras clicked. The purse went once more over the dazed Lockhart's head.

- DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY, YOU DAMNED PERVERT!!!

Henry noticed several witches in the crowd raise their wands. What that meant, he already knew. And so...

The footsteps had already been practised on Voldemort.

Lockhart shrieked and flew nose-first at Liz, who didn't have time to dodge. And then she didn't risk it either because several curses flew into the back of her living shield, bizarrely merging into one.

Lockhart screamed wildly, horns erupting on his forehead, and from beneath his robes crawled either a wool or a snake tail covered in soft pink fur...

Everyone froze.

The camera clicked.

Liz twisted out from under Lockhart's howling carcass, grabbed Henry's hand - and they flew out of the shop.

- Phooey!

- Liz, you've got to be kidding me! - Henry spoke up.

Liz snorted.

- You know, if you hadn't covered for me...

- Lockhart.

- Would it all go flying at me?

- Yeah. That's how they do magic! And you'd be torn to shreds for an idol.

- That's for sure. But we can't have him groping you in front of everyone. He'll get over it. Henry, you were great!

- And you! What did you do with his purse?

- Э... - Liz is getting confused. - We should go back...

- Why?

- I didn't do it on purpose...

Liz opened her purse. Inside lay one of the most influential books ever. Gilderoy Lockhart winked coquettishly from the cover.

A squeal and noise grew in the shop.

- I didn't mean to steal it.

- May I, miss?

Lucius Malfoy appeared like a grand piano from the bushes.

- Allow me to introduce myself, Lord Malfoy. And this is my son Draco Lucius Malfoy. We've already met Mr. Potter, so it's possible...

Liz covered her eyes for a moment. And then Henry saw how, once again, his friend could transform.

She straightened, bowed her head slightly and held out her hand for a kiss. Malfoy obediently pressed his lips to her thin, chemical-stained wrist.

- Allow me to introduce myself, Elizabeth Dursle. Mr. Vernon Dursle's second cousin. Thank you, Lord Malfoy. I'm afraid I won't be too comfortable going back to the shop after what that peacock has done.

A cheerful smile slid across Lucius' lips.

- Not without your help, Miss.

- Oh, he made a fool of himself just fine without Henry and me," Liz shrugged nonchalantly. - I didn't want Henry involved in his ridiculous performance...

While the grown-ups were juggling words, the boys were chatting cheerfully about their stuff.

- Potter, this is great! By the time we left, he'd grown six horns, and the witches were trying to cure him.

- They'll probably heal him to death! What idiot sent us this list of books?

- Dumbledore...

- Have you read the list? Have you read these books?

- No.

- Malfoy, you've got to be kidding me! Their educational value is nil! They're nothing! It's a stupid glorification of Gilderoy! You just can't read it without a general anaesthetic!

- You think so?

- I'm sure.

At this point, the adults agreed to something constructive. Liz handed Lucius Lockhart's book, and the wizard promised to return it to the shop.

But later, when things were a little quieter. In the meantime...

Shall we walk through the rest of the shops in pleasant company?

Liz didn't mind. And Henry.

Because the first members of the Weasley family were getting out of the shop - and we had to go!

Before they got lynched.