11

In the morning, everyone looked at Henry with respect. The exceptions were Snape and Dumbledore. The first looked like a furious bat, while the second flickered so reproachfully through the eyes of his glasses that Henry was even a little embarrassed. He's an old man; he shouldn't be running around the corridors... or should I have him killed out of compassion? Or just send Granddad into retirement? Due to a severe nervous breakdown...

No, what kind of a pig is this, really?

There's no protection for children at school; is that to make it easier to get away with it?! You lost a child in an industrial accident?

No way!

- Potter, you're really cool!

Henry sighed, shook the crumbs off his robes, and turned to Ron.

- Didn't your mother ever tell you that food should be on your plate, not your neighbour's robes?

- А... э...

Very informative.

- Wha...?! Chew on that, will you?

Ron, who had taken a bite of pumpkin pie between his eulogies, moved his jaws violently.

- 'I suppose,' Malfoy was as elegant as a grand piano, 'what he means is that you shocked the whole school yesterday.

Henry hesitated. No... It's too early for dynamite. Otherwise, he'd be showing everyone here... the shock.

- What's that got to do with me?

- Not everyone would argue with Snape...

- I wasn't arguing. It's just that your dean has a nerve.

Snape was next to Henry before Malfoy could blink.

- Potter!

- Yes, Professor Snape?

- Minus ten points from Ravenclaw!

- That's right, professor, minus ten points from Ravenclaw for Professor Snape eavesdropping on other people's conversations.

- Potter, of all the vile, insolent...

- You're repeating yourself, professor. Can't you think of something more original with your experience? I thought imagination was necessary for an alchemist?

- I'm not an alchemist, Potter; I'm a potion.

- I'm sorry, sir.

- Harry, my boy...

- Yes, Professor Doubledoor?

- Э... Henry, why are you pissing Professor Snape off again?

- Allow me, headmaster. If Professor Snape overhears other people's conversations, let him not be surprised when he hears something unpleasant about himself. How did he manage to overhear our conversation - sitting over ten meters away in a crowded hall?

Now Dumbledore was taken aback.

And really - how?

Snape hissed like a boiling kettle, but he did not shout to the whole hall that he was a Legiliment. Instead, he stuck his head up proudly.

- Minus another ten points, Potter, for not thinking straight.

He turned on his heels and walked out of the hall, nearly knocking Professor Quirrell down. Henry had to admit that Snape had got away with dignity. He looked up at the headmaster, his eyes slamming innocently over his shoulder. What do you want, old man?

Dumbledore realized that further attempts to pressure him would not make him look good, so he decided to withdraw. Temporarily.

- Gar... Henry, I'm very disappointed in your behaviour, my boy.

- Whatever you say... Daddy.

- Harry!

- What, Professor Dumbleduble?!

- Mr. Potter, your behaviour is unacceptable.

- Why not? I was told yesterday that the faculty is family here. Accordingly, you, headmaster, are like a father to us!

There was nothing but salt in that child's voice. Even Weasley had his jaws firmly embedded in the pie and was too afraid to move them lest he should miss anything. Malfoy grinned evilly.

Dumbledore coughed again.

- Henry... you and I will talk again, Mr. Potter.

He didn't manage to retreat so beautifully. The star-spangled nightie wasn't fluttering like Snape's. But that one did.

The black cloak.

A fearsome one! Black! The cape!

Can't we have a Disney cartoon show at school? All right, if anything, he'll say so!

- Well, Potter...

Draco shook his head in admiration.

- It's... you... wow!

- And in particular, too. Autograph signing on Thursday after Friday," Henry grinned. - Now...

- Stop supporting such unacceptable behaviour!

It must be said that the expressions on both Henry's and Draco's, and Ron's faces were equally stunned. What kind of apparition was this?

The apparition was dressed in a Gryffindor uniform, flaunting a mane of hair and long teeth, and called Hermione Granger.

Weasley was the first to pass out. The path from his eyes to his tongue was concise for lack of a brain.

- What are you doing here?

- Ladies, on what grounds are you interfering in something that doesn't concern you? - Malfoy was more polite in his wording of the question.

Henry didn't have time to meow.

- You're not supposed to argue with teachers at school!

- And what does the headmaster teach?

- He's the principal!

- So he's an education official who's good at swearing and filling out paperwork," summed up Henry, who had heard this from Liz more than once. - But safety procedures are weak for him. 'Miss Granger, would you instead explode - or dissolve?

Henry asked with purely practical interest.

- What's that got to do with it?

- The fact that your beloved Professor Snape... Miss... excuse me! - Henry learned his sarcasm well from Liz. - Forgive me! I didn't realize you were in love!

- Me what?! - Hermione was furious.

- She what?!

- Love, of course. You can only protect someone you really like in this way," Henry looked innocently. - Did you have your potions class yesterday? And today, Miss is defending the professor. It's all so natural, oh la purr, purr, purr, purr... oh-la-la-la!

Hermione couldn't take any further exercise in French. The boys laughed, the girl bolted - and Harry was off to his flying lesson.

They were taught by a tall, grey-haired woman with yellow eyes. Madam Hooch.

Harry was silent as they tried to lift the broom while they were forced to sit on this headmaster's mind tree, but he rebelled when they had to take to the air.

- Pardon me... Madam Hooch?

- Yes, Mr. Potter?

- Can you fly this thing?

- I need help understanding your question, Mr. Potter.

- The point is if you don't put anything underneath... ...the girls' anatomy allows them to sit on a broomstick. But for us boys... ...we're in danger of reducing our numbers by rubbing something on ourselves.

- And what do you suggest, Mr. Potter?

Henry squinted.

- Couldn't we upgrade the broom a bit?

- And how would that be?

From the look in her eyes, Madam Hooch was interested. Harry quickly sketched out the design in the sand. The students huddled around it.

- And why not?

Rolanda Hooch was not stupid and had already heard about Snape. And so by the end of the lesson, the first test of the new prototype broom was arranged.

Namely, a broomstick fitted with a bicycle saddle and a standard steering wheel. Elementary transfiguration, you know. Henry rode a bicycle but swung a stick...

***

Slowly things got back to normal.

In Potions, the students got dragon-skin aprons and protective gloves with goggles. Snape was still snarling at Henry, but soon he was no longer bothered by it.

A cartoon was playing around the school. About a magnificent duck called the Black Cloak!

And it went like this. Once again pestered by Snape, Henry was lying on his bed whistling a song.

"Smoke and flames, noise and thunder, audacity and calculation..."

- What was that about?

Terry Booth sat down beside him - and yes! Henry couldn't resist retelling the cartoon. Fresh off the screen...

He and Liz watched it together.

Ultimately, they asked Professor Flitwick to give them a duo mask, taught Henry how to use it... and spent the next two days enjoying themselves. And enjoyed it for two days.

And then...

And then Henry, at pottery class, when Professor Snape proudly waved his robe away from his desk, began to whistle...

Terry was the first to understand.

Then Padma, then... Spontaneous laughter engulfed the Equinoxes, followed by the Hufflepuffs. They laughed helplessly and merrily. And neither Professor Snape's screams nor the exploding cauldron could stop the mass hysteria.

Snape calmed down a little, taking several points off Ravenclaw, strongly suspecting they were laughing at him.

The duck epidemic had engulfed Hufflepuff, Gryffindor - and reached Slytherin last.

Snape was doomed.

He watched the cartoon last.

But the duck quacking from all corners...

Duck feathers in the corners, and even a smoke bomb with a purple smoke that some creep had put under the pottery room door; as a result, he appeared to his students as this... BLOODY DUCK!!!

Snape was freaking out, scoring points, cursing, and even trying to demand something from the headmaster, but...

Black Cloak!

The formidable Black Cloak!

Tea with lemon wedges could have been a better sedative. Dumbledore had yet to learn what awaited him specifically.

***

However, Madam McGonagall was the next to suffer.

Purely by accident, in transfiguration class. As she was used to, she met the children in cat form. И... couldn't get out of it.

The faculties were fragrant with valerian and catnip.

Oh, that smell!

Oooooo!!!!!

As it turns out, it has the same crushing effect on werewolf cats.

Henry, who had set up the experiment, only chuckled. And you shouldn't have rubbed his ears! Now he, too, had the opportunity to scratch behind the ears of the formidable Dean of Gryffindor. She could have been sold for pelts in that state of stunned smells anyway - she wouldn't have noticed.

In a word - Meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

The transfiguration lesson was a success. But Madame's credibility had fallen to the floor, which was understandable. As a result, Minerva didn't dare transform at school for a long time yet and thoroughly sniffed around every room. Henry's guilt was never proven.

And the question, "Who else?!" was not accepted as proof by the judicial system.

Halloween was approaching.

***

Henry was depressed.

It was the day he'd lost his parents and the idiotic pumpkin, which he didn't eat; candles, hats, bats, and other nastiness were getting on his nerves.

He slowly made his way out of the Great Hall and into one of the many abandoned corridors of Hogwarts.

It was quiet, dusty, peaceful...

Ten years ago, on this day, he had become an orphan.

Harry sat in an alcove and thought that life, in general, was a sad thing. Of course, there were bright sides to it. Chemistry, Liz, and even magic, which he liked.

But also...

I wish Mom and Dad were alive?

I wish...

- Potter, why aren't you with everyone?

Henry groaned.

- Hermione! What are you doing here?!

- I noticed you were gone...

Well, look at that! No one in the faculty noticed; if they did, they didn't get into it! And this... Velcro!

- So?

- It's a holiday...

- Maybe I'm celebrating.

- Here? Potter, shall we join the others?

- Ugh! She's already here! Sorry, Henry.

- Sorry, Malfoy. Is this a faculty meeting?

- No. I just saw you leave. And then that Snape-loving girl came running after you.

- You're the one! - Hermione flashed.

- I'm naturally oriented," Draco sulked. - Anyway, I tried to stop her, but I couldn't.

- Thanks," Henry sighed. - Draco, could you take her back to the party? And I'll just sit here for a while?

- Whatever you say. Hey, beaver, shall we?

- I'm not a beaver!

- They look like teeth.

- You're a lummox! - Hermione turned and dashed down the dark corridor.

Only to come screaming back out in a few seconds.

- Troll! TROLL!

Henry and Draco looked at each other, jumping to their feet.

- A troll?!!

Judging by the heavy footsteps that echoed down the hallway... couldn't she have run somewhere else?

Stupid sheep!

The corridor is a dead end; there's no way out!

Draco drew his wand. Harry grabbed the side where his magic bag hung permanently.

- I need a few minutes!

Hermione squealed like a circular saw.

- Right," Draco exhaled doomfully. - Troll. Do you smell that?

Harry sucked in a breath and almost coughed as the stench hit his nose, like dirty socks and a public toilet that hadn't been washed simultaneously.

And then they heard a low grunt and the shuffling of giant feet. Hermione pointed a finger - some big shadow was moving directly toward them. They huddled against the wall as best they could, watching in awe as it moved closer and closer, finally crossing the streak of moonlight.

A frightening sight was before their eyes. A four-meter-tall beast stood before them. Its body was gray and resembled a rough, unhewn boulder to which someone had pinned a small head no larger than a coconut. Its short legs, as thick as oak trunks, ended in flat, calloused feet. The stench emanating from it was incredible. In his hand, hanging nearly to the floor, he held a massive club, which dragged along the ground.

The troll stared intently at the children. His long ears perked up - he seemed to be straining with his miserable wits. Finally, he strolled towards them.

- Se... Seko!!! - Draco shrieked, raising his wand.

What he wanted to accomplish needed to be clarified. Henry grimaced.

He quickly rummaged through his bag, looking for the NZ. The troll was getting closer, Hermione squealing nonstop... What a good idea, right?

The kick given to the nerd was so mental that she flew off to one corner of the corridor. Even the troll was distracted.

A shove and Draco flies off to another corner.

And Henry finally finds the necessary vials.

- Hey you, big boy! Catch!!!

A little magnesium-aluminum blend mental bomb - Liz had warned Henry not to use it casually... but it worked!

It rattled in the troll's hands, and for a few seconds, the giant froze.

That was enough for Henry.

He sprawled, pushed off, and almost flew over the troll.

And shove a vial of reagent into its mouth while smashing the other against the grey head.

The next moment the hero flew off into a corner, but the troll was no longer concerned with anyone.

The broken vial contained concentrated caustic lye. As a matter of fact, if it got in your eyes, you could lose your eyesight.

Forever.

And as if that weren't enough, there was a second vial.

Concentrated sulphuric acid.

98% of sulphuric acid! We maxed it out! We distilled it ourselves!

And into the mouth. Where the brainless troll figured it out.

He no longer cared about children. He was just hurt.

Draco was now clear.

He grabbed Hermione's arm - and dashed past the troll, who was blind and mad with pain. Which he succeeded. And the fact that he had knocked Professor Quirrell down on the way... ...well, it happens!

Why were they spread out all the way?

Snape wasn't confused looking at the troll.

- Sectumsempra!

The troll's head snapped off its neck. The fountain of blood flew upward, splashing everyone involved, including Henry, who was still under the wall. It hurts, by the way; it's going to bruise.

- What on earth is going on? - McGonagall shrieked.

- Can't you see?! - Henry muttered.

Minerva squinted unkindly.

- Mr. Potter, what are you doing here?

Then Henry burst out.

- Я!? What am I doing here!? Professor, aren't you going to ask the troll what HE is doing here!? In a school with children!? You're not on the child protection committee!!! I'm sitting here not bothering anyone, but no! First, your student, then the troll, and it's unclear who's worse! I wish he'd eaten her and poisoned her! Ugh! There are not enough reagents for your sights!

- Potter!!!!

- Professor!!!

- Draco," Snape was, oddly enough, the cleverest. - Get Mr. Potter and Miss Granger to the infirmary!

- I'd instead go straight to the cemetery! She'll get me!

- Potter, stop your hysterics!

- Professor... I want those trolls to come and see you every day! Visitors! And Hermione with them!

Such a curse Snape's soul could not bear.

- And minus ten points from Ravenclaw! For destroying the school, troll!

Draco, ending the discussion, grabbed Henry under the arm and dragged him behind him.

- Come on, Potter, let's go.

Henry spat bad troll blood and rose to his feet.

- All right, Mr. Professor. Destroying the school troll?! Then you'll either have to pay me for a new robe - or wash this one from his blood!

- The Professor saved you! - Madam McGonagall was indignant.

- "Not at all," said Henry, his insolence returning. - Check. If your professor hadn't started hacking away at him, he would have died himself. Very soon.

In his pocket, Henry clutched a bag of hydrocya