I Know Your Truth

"Quiet" he repeated and looked at me with a heavy stare. It was a look that showed pain weighted with knowledge. "Why did you choose 18? Why didn't you start at birth? How dare you start at an age when the one before you still had so much time ahead?" His lips pulled tight and angry, and his wrinkles became more prominent. I could tell he was fond of aggressive sets of questions. "What are you talking about?" I said, aware of the rules that forbade me from speaking of the dull "life" I "lived" before. "You should not be so concerned with those rules, they do not apply to me!" he said, and I worried if this angry medicine man could read minds. I shifted away unsure of how to proceed or as if the distance would sever the mind reading I was superstitious about. It was a very weird shift, I might add, considering I was still laying on the floor as he reamed me.

In this one span of dawn to dusk I learned so much and experienced things I could not even fathom before. There was no way I was giving this up yet if ever. Ha! Fool if he thought he could bate me into forfeiting this life. He seemed to dislike me enough to be capable of wanting me to lose at this Game so early by breaking the rules. Or perhaps be terminated with the penalty of a million year wait...ugh. Perhaps in his anger he would try to sabotage my experiences in this world. "Fine, say nothing if it makes you feel safe. But the woman who's body and life you stole was someone who was important to me. Dear to me! Do you understand that?!" He exclaimed pain written on his face he took off his feathered hat and displayed his long black hair with only a few specks of grey that traveled chaotically down to his shoulders. "She was dear to me and you are not." A little stung, I realized I was being reprimanded, that much I knew, but why he was so angry I did not understand. This body is here. I did not steal it, and who is she? Am I not her? I looked down reaffirming my state of being "her" and taking a note on the differences between a her and a him. I just gave him a confused pained look trying to form a response to calm him or put his pain elsewhere deflecting it off of me. But the truth is my interactions have been limited, and I have no idea what to say to accomplish this. So we sat staring, I was awkward and he was angry. "So many lives to take and it had to be her" he said looking defeated while I noticed a drop of pain flow from his eye to the floor. "I am sorry to angry you or hurt you Matipuyaut".

" I know this is not your fault, and I assume this is your first life from the faces you make." He sighed. Though it was not a question he looked at me expectantly for an answer but my face gave none in response. "Ah the rules, of course. Such a pain and I almost forgot about them," he chuckled but eyes did not smile with his mouth. Then he closed his eyes, and crossed his legs on the floor next to me. I sat up, drew my knees to my chest, and looked at him. Observing the way the fire at the center of the dome shown as light on half of Matipuyaut's face. I briefly noted the fire but not in-depth. Only it's increasing brightness in contrast to the increasing darkness of the night. The fire would have caught my attention more if I was not so intrigued by the elder before me. I was curious, now that he was less hostile and more vulnerable, fitting his physical state. I wondered if like me he was a player in the Game, how else would he know about the rules. I wanted to ask him so much... carefully. Ask him carefully, don't break any rules. After minutes of the mental forming of my sentence I asked, "If there are rules, do they not apply to you Matipuyaut?"

"No longer."

"Will you guide me then?"

"Only like I do all other people, as a medicine man, a spiritual guide, and a story teller."

"If this world...was new to me as you said, could you teach me who my parents are, siblings, who I chose to live with, and where is my home?"

He looked pained and distressed, eyes clutched tighter and lines on face increased. "Yes, I will guide you in this way tomorrow. As for today, or rather tonight, it is dark besides this fire, so close your eyes and then open them when our sun is back. "

"To sleep" I whispered still amazed at the idea.

"To sleep." He opened his eyes and directed his attention elsewhere. "Onui, tell Mateqai his women will not be back till tomorrow." I just then noticed the small boy on the opposite side of the dome get up and run out to tell...my man I suppose, Mateqai this. Well that is one way of telling me about myself. It felt wrong to consider him the one I chose. Although at first I felt some spark of excitement, I hold resentment from his words to me on the beach. Like the ocean, exciting only for a moment before revolting me. I then thought, so the grumpy, rude man is whom I must live and lie with? PERFECT.