Chapter 1 - First meet

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"Kate?! What's for breakfast?" the little girl came running into my room with such energy that I jumped up in sitting position in my bed.

"What? What's going on?" I asked completely lost in what was going on after my sleep.

"I thought you said we were going shopping with Lanie today" she questioned as she looked at me from the side of the bed.

"Alexis, I'm sorry, I must've forgotten to turn on my alarm" I apologized but she just smiled.

"Good thing I did then" she said and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Come here, we can lie for five more minutes" I said and to my surprise she actually jumped up in the bed and crawled closer to me.

I carefully put my arm around her and we lied down while I put back the cover over us. I had no idea she would let me do that but she didn't push me away which warmed my heart more than I thought was possible. This was the first time she had allowed me being this close to her, and as a foster mother I felt this must be process. She even took my hand and started playing with my fingers, quietly chanting a string of words for each finger. I had become enchanted by the five year old redhead the second I met her, and I couldn't believe how someone could do something which resulted in them not being able to have this little angel by their side.

"Can you read me one of dad's books?" she quietly whispered and turned in my arms to be able to look at me.

I smiled sadly at her before I nodded.

"Of course I can sweetie, if it makes you feel closer to him I will" I answered and I could see a small glimpse in her eyes telling me she appreciated it.

Richard Castle might have been the greatest writer I had ever gotten over but I couldn't understand how he could abandon this small girl I held in my arms. Well, he didn't abandon her by own choice but somehow they had taken her away from him because he wasn't good enough of a father.

"Is it okay if I read it for you tonight? I don't want Lanie to be mad at us for being late" I asked and she shook her head violently.

"No, we definitely want her to be mad" she said with wide eyes and I chuckled.

"Come on, let's go make those smorlettes you love so much" I said and she immediately jumped up from the bed with the greatest smile I had seen since a few days back.

I got up from the bed and we made our way out of my bedroom into the kitchen where I started doing the recipe the young girl had taught me the second morning she had slept here. A few mornings after that she had told me she didn't like them much due to the taste but that she was starting to get used to it. That's about the time I had actually questioned why she ate the food and she had told me the true reason she liked them. Her had made them, and not only made them he them. That was the reason she liked them so much, the reason she ate them. That's when I understood the true connection she'd had with her dad before she got taken away from him. I had always wondered what had gone wrong, the stories Alexis shared didn't sound like a bad father who made unforgivable choices for his daughter, but then again it was from her eyes I saw him. I couldn't be sure of her having the right opinion on him.

"Is it good enough?" I asked as Alexis had already started on her second one.

"Mhm" she hummed with her mouth full as she nodded her head up and down.

I smiled as I ate one myself, I didn't really like them but I had seen Alexis shine when she saw me tasting them one time and I couldn't find myself to not make her happy.

"You make them just like my dad, none of the other's got it right but you do" she said after she had chewed and swallowed the last bite.

I smiled a little wider and opened my mouth to tell her to go get ready. She immediately thanked for the breakfast and ran away towards what had become her room to change out of her pajamas. I took the plates and put them in the dishwasher before I myself went into my own room to put on some acceptable clothes. I had just put on my bra when Alexis came running into my room and she stopped the second she saw me in only jeans and bra.

"Sorry, I should've knocked" she said embarrassed as she turned around to not look at me.

"It's okay, we're all girls here right?" I teased and I heard her giggle before she turned back around again.

I took out my shirt and put it on before I walked towards my nightstand where I kept my phone charging during the nights.

"Kate?" Alexis said carefully and I looked up at her.

"Yes?" I asked when she didn't continue.

"Can I ask you for something?" she asked and I saw the fear she had in her eyes.

"Anything" I immediately said before I walked towards her to kneel down in front of her.

Making her feel better by taking her small hand in mine and giving her time to think how to ask whatever it was she wanted to ask. I saw her take a few deep breaths before she bit her lip and looked me in my eyes.

"Can you take me to my dad? I just want to see him" she added quickly and I saw tears start to fill her eyes.

It broke my heart seeing how much it pained her to be away from her father. But it wasn't my decision. They had been clear when I got to take her in.

the social worker's warning rang through my head.

I took a deep breath before I gave my foster daughter a sad smile.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. He's not allowed to see you" I tried to explain but her tears were already on their way down her cheeks.

"I understand" she whispered and I could hear the lump she had in her throat.

"I'm so sorry pumpkin" I said as I wiped away her tears with my hands.

She snuggled into my arms and hugged me, I held her tight as I could hear her whimper from the pain it caused her not to be able to see her father. The worst part was, I knew exactly how she felt. Sure I had been older when my mother died but the pain was the same. To know you wouldn't be able to see the one you loved was the biggest pain someone could ever feel.

"We're gonna be late" I quietly said, not really wanting to destroy the silence, as I pulled away and kissed her forehead.

"And we don't want Lanie angry" Alexis said with a small smile setting on her lips.

"Exactly" I agreed and we walked out of my apartment hand in hand.