AS RELIVING THE PAST.

I woke up but my vision was blurry. Someone was in my room, who was it? I slowly sat up and held my head. "Ugh." I sighed. "Hey, what happened?" I asked barely getting the words out.

The person turned around, "You passed out earlier so I had to bring you to your room." He said as he moved closer and I could see him properly. "Donna..." I said and felt a sharp pain in my head, "Aah!"

"Just keep lying down, here let me help you." He said and placed the pillow for me and I lay down. "Thanks!" I said. "It's okay." He said sitting on the bed next to me.

"You got a shirt." I said, "Yeah, uh sorry I borrowed your sweatshirt. I figured it wasn't appropriate since you're in this state." He told me. "It's a good thing I always buy sweatshirts twice my size." I smiled weakly.

He chuckled, "No wonder you looked like a junkie." I giggled. "Thank you again. I don't even know your name." "I don't know yours too so it's fair." He said, "I'm Avery." I said and coughed.

"Careful." He said, "Jam." "What?" I asked. "My friends call me Jam." He said, I laughed then I groaned because it was painful. "Seriously?" I said. "I know but it's because I'm the best in the basketball team." He said. "Jam....okay I get it. You're not gonna tell me your real name." I said. "Ah! I just prefer that one currently. My real name brings a lot of painful memories back." He said.

"You don't have to tell me." I said, "Oh, I wasn't going to." He told me. "Oh!" I exclaimed, "No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I don't like talking about it." He said. "Oh, it's okay. I understand." I said.

"You should rest." He told me, "Yeah." I said then he tucked me in and he left the room.

"No, no, no." I struggled in my sleep, "NOO!!!" I yelled and woke up from my nightmare. I was sweating a lot and breathing heavily. "Hey! What's wrong?" Jam asked, "Huh." I said in confusion.

"What, what..?" I said then I sighed, "Did you have a nightmare?" he asked. I nodded and began shivering, "I was at...I didn't do it! She was just right there." I said breathing heavily. "SHE WAS...I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!" I yelled while holding and shaking Jam's shoulders.

"Um, I think I should calm down Avery." He said as he slowly removed my hands from his shoulders. My breathing slowed down and I leaned back on the bed. I slowly started shivering and crying.

"Why is it so cold in here, huh?!" I stared at Jam who looked at me with sympathy. "Don't worry Avery." He said and got on the bed and sat closely next to me then he moved me closer so that I was lying on his chest.

"It's not going to be cold anymore." He told me while patting on my head. I shut my eyes and tried to stop the shivering but I couldn't. "Mom!" I cried, and Jam kept patting me.

I woke up hours later because of the bright light in the room. It was morning already. I moved up and saw Jam next to me. We slept in that manner all night!

I went to the bathroom and washed my face then I found some clothes on the hangar so I decided to take a shower. After a few minutes I got out of the shower and got dressed before I went back to the room.

I found him awake and he was standing by the window. "You're awake." I said, "Yeah, how are you doing?" he asked. "I feel fine I guess." I replied, "Shouldn't you go?" I asked. "Oh, yeah. But are you sure you're good? You weren't doing well last night." He told me.

"Thanks for last night." I said, "It's okay." He said. "I'm just gonna go downstairs and give you room." I told him. "It's okay. I'll go too. I need to go home to check on mom." He said.

We went downstairs and I walked him out. "Thanks." I held out a hand, and he shook my hand. It felt weird for a moment. It's as if we've known each other all our lives.

I smiled awkwardly and let go of his hand. He cleared his throat, "Just take care of yourself." He paused. "Avery?" he asked, "Huh!" I said, he shook his head "Uh, nothing I just...um" "I should get home." He said.

"Uh yeah, sure. Bye." I said, "I'll be back sometime." He said and began walking away. I went back inside.

It's been a few days since I got an attack from my memories. I was so revealed about it. Having some alone time really helped me. Every night since that day I would take long walks. It was cold outside sometimes but the cold was the next best thing. The walks were relaxing because whenever I'd get to the park I'd prayer pace.

I learned about this on YouTube from this street preacher. I'd spend at least an hour at the park then head back home. I'd feel better and at more peace with myself.

I was going out again tonight and man!! Was I excited. I put on my overcoat before I left the house. I slowly walked away from the driveway and before I knew it our house disappeared from sight.

Mh, I hadn't seen Jam in a while. I kinda miss him, well I hope he's alright. He really helped me when I was in that state. But I have no idea why he'd go to such lengths. We're strangers.

I mean sure our parents know each other but we don't. Also considering the way we met, he was pretty much annoyed with me. But I was still in a scary situation so even I'd help me.

I arrived at the park and began prayer pacing. I arrived at a bench where I always sit and I took a seat. I took loud deep breaths, it was beautiful this time of night because there wasn't any people around.

Peace and quiet. I breathed out and smiled. I looked up and I could see rain clouds forming. It's crazy how precipitation can just snap. I smiled and enjoyed the sweet, cold air.

"Beautiful. Isn't it?" a voice that I thought was familiar said. "Yeah." I closed my eyes and sighed, "What are you doin' here all alone anyway." He said. I opened my eyes and turned my gaze at him. I was right, I did know that voice.

"You." I said, "Hey!" He smiled. "What are you doing here Jam?" I asked. "I usually take walks like these to clear my mind." He said. "Is Mrs. Kirby alright?" I asked.

"She's fine." He said, "And you?" he asked glancing at me. "Um, I am alright. Thanks to these walks. I've been doing some prayer pacing when I got here." I replied.

"You remind of someone Avery." He said, "Really who?" I asked my eyes filled with curiosity. "A good friend of mine but I haven't seen them in a while. And you're more chatty than them." He told me.

"Do you mind me asking what those episodes were about?" he asked, "Um, there was a horrible accident ten years ago. It killed my parents." I told him. "Oh, I'm really sorry about that." He said.

"It's okay, I'm fine. Those were just enemy attacks to get me to drown in the sorrows of my past." I told him. "Ah!" He said, "Are you a Christian?" I asked. "Um, yeah. By birth but some line of events just made me drift away from God." He told me.

"Ever thinking of going back?" I asked, "Yeah. But I haven't really gone about it yet." "You know." He said. "You should." I said, "It's worth it." I looked at him. Lightning flashed and I could see him clearly for just a second.

He looked troubled but at the same time relieved. I wonder what's bothering him. "We should head back. It's going to rain soon." He said and I nodded. We both stood up and began exiting the park.

The rain started pouring even before we reached the sidewalk. I looked up and closed my eyes, feeling the drops of rain one by one land on my face then they stopped. I opened my eyes and I saw Jam covering me with his jacket.

"It's okay, I actually love the rain." I smiled at him. "You're gonna catch a cold and I'm gonna have to look after you again." He teased. "Oh, would you?" I grinned. "Well, my mom would make me." We both laughed.

In the rain we stood there laughing then slowly stopped gazing at each other. Jam lowered his jacket and the rain once again landed on my face. "Come on!!" I yelled and ran away. "Hey, wait up!" He yelled back.

When I got back home the rain had gotten worse. There was thunder and lightning after every thirty seconds. "Man, it is pouring out there." I muttered. I slowly walked upstairs, it was dark inside. I guess it was late.

I entered my room and shut the door behind me. I got out of my wet clothes and put on a tank top and sweatpants. I got all cosy in the blankets in bed, I grinned as I got comfortable.

I love the feeling of a rainy night. It makes sleep so much better than it already is. I smiled at the thought of Jam and I running in the rain. The memory was filled with warmth. The kind that I'd known too well.

St. Benedict's home for girls. It brought back the most exciting memory ever. I miss them every day. I hoped that Monica got her cool home and Pamela got that garden in her new home. Jason, well I don't remember what kind of home he wanted.

I hope he's okay wherever he is. My face frowned when I remembered Peter. I got out of bed and went to sit by the window to watch the rain pour. Is he okay? I miss him so much.

I remembered the incident where I kissed him before he left. My heart sank and I sighed as a flash of lightning hit my face. I can't remember why I did that, it was just an impulsive move.

I moved back to my bed and lay down staring at the ceiling. I sighed once more and turned to the side. Summer was coming to an end and I'd get to see him again but I don't about that.

Only a few weeks left before I go to college. Beth's leaving next week. They have orientation week and every one must attend or else your spot's taken by someone else.

I'm gonna be the last to go to college that means I'll have to get by the weeks left alone. The thought made me frown and felt the energy slowly flowing outta my body. Slowly I closed my eyes and let myself drift off to sleep.