Chapter 2 Touch me, Kathryn.

He looked like he couldn't believe what he was hearing — he knew I needed the money after all.

"Why?" He asked, walking closer to me. There was just something in his eyes that seemed different from the Anthony I knew when he knelt before me. I can't explain it no matter how hard I try but it felt different like he was seeing me differently.

I hadn't even noticed when he had slipped on his boxers earlier. My mind was jumbled up. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I was a nervous wreck. If there was anything I wanted, was to be by his side forever.

But things don't always happen the way we'd like them to. His cold palms touched both sides of my thighs, spreading them wider to get comfortable. He looked vulnerable and desperate all at once — a state I've never seen him in.

Shivers ran down my spine at the contact and I wanted to touch him, to cup his face and kiss him deeply but I didn't, I couldn't.

My eyes lingered on his beautiful pink lips, and I couldn't help licking mine. He remained silent and when I looked back up, he was staring directly at me. No trace of a smile on his face, he had returned to the physique I knew all too well and that scared me. I liked the Anthony I'd been experiencing all day.

"It's just. . . Uhh. . . I don't. . . I—" I stuttered. First, how did he expect me to focus with him that close to me? My mind could do anything but focus. Not to mention the way he looked about ready to make me change my mind. He looked almost sad, but I doubt it.

Why would Anthony be sad? I meant nothing to him, he always made sure to point that out and even though I wish that wasn't the case — that sad reality is what it is.

"Why Kathryn?" He asked huskily and sounded almost defeated, he leaned his forehead on mine and my breath hitched. He began drawing circles on my thighs. I shut my eyes tightly, trying not to feel, to stop the sensations running throughout my body. 'Get away from me' I wanted to say but couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Answer me!" He demanded as he inched his hands further up. I was dumbfounded as to what he was doing. Why he was touching me this way — he's never done this before.

I opened my mouth to talk but moaned when he ever so gracefully dug his nails into my flesh. He buried his face into the crook of my neck and begun his sweet torture. Pulling me closer, his hands wrapped around my back as I was barely seated on the bed at that point. He sunk his teeth into my neck, and I winced in pain, but it felt so fucking good. My eyes widened as realization sunk in.

He gave me a love bite. The only marks he has ever left on my body were marks of his intense sexual pleasures but never a love bite. He licked ever so gently, and I moaned yet again, my hands fisted the sheets in order not to touch him, but heck did I want to. I felt yet another sharp pang of pain and before I could stop myself, my hands flew to the back of his neck.

Fuck. He stiffened and instantly stopped his assault on my neck. I pulled back my hands with wide eyes at my own foolishness — I had crossed the line because he had said several times that if there is one thing he really hates; it's being touched.

He pulled away from me and his eyes were tensed, and he looked terrified but not angry.

I expected him to be angry. He immediately stood to his feet as I remained frozen. Slowly I relaxed my hand and stared up at him. I'd be lying if I say I regretted it. His body felt so good and at that moment, with my hands clinging to his neck- it felt real. Everything felt complete. I didn't feel like his tramp, I felt like his woman. He ran his hands through his hair, looking everywhere but at me.

"—Because I can't do this Anthony," I said frustrated waving my hands around to get my point across. It was the first time calling him by his name repeatedly when we were alone since I signed that fucking contract, but I couldn't care at that moment.

"Kath—" He attempted to speak but I interrupted him. I needed to pour out my heart before I got intimidated into silence. I needed to tell him everything I wanted to say before I changed my mind. "No, hear me out," I stood to my feet walking closer to him.

"Maybe this is the way you want to live Anthony, but it isn't for me. I want hugs, kisses, cuddles, flowers, love — I want love Anthony and every time I sign that contract it brings me two months away from starting that journey. I need the money but not at the expense of my happiness." I swallowed hard after the words fell from my lips.

He was expressionless. His eyes bore holes into mine — Although there was a quick flicker in his eyes that seemed like he was accusing me of something.

What the hell was that "I thought you could love me Anthony, but you can't," I confessed, and his eyes widened. It was something I never dared mention because if I had, he wouldn't have even thought of letting me sign for the second time.

"And as much as I don't want to accept it, I am indeed selling myself to yo—" I was interrupted.

"No, you are—" He tried to speak but I couldn't let him lie to my face just to make me feel better.

"Yes, I am Anthony. You made it feel even worse, 'the slut you pa—" I was agitated by then that I hadn't noticed I was screaming in his face. More like a low scream because I was drained — there wasn't any energy left in me.

"—You knew what you signed up for Kathryn, you agreed to it," Anthony defended himself angrily.

His veins popping from anger. I wanted to blame him for everything, but I couldn't- He was right, I knew what I was signing up for. Besides the fact that I really needed and still need the money he had to offer, I thought my life with him would have played out like the ones in novels — whereas the billionaires fall in love with their hired girlfriends.

Boy was I wrong. I stared at him in defeat. I wanted to speak but my mind stayed blank. My eyes were red by then and silence engulfed us once again.

"What I didn't know was that I was going to fall madly in love with you and it was going to hurt," I said after a long pause. He was taken aback by my revelation. He ran his fingers through his wet hair staring at me pitifully. Just like I expected. I didn't want him to feel sorry for me, I didn't need it and that angered me to some extent.

"Hurt because I can't touch you, can't kiss you and not even talk to you the way I'd like to. The truth is I can't do this anymore because I broke your most important rule Anthony, by falling in love with you and I hate to think that this is the last time I'm going to see you, but it is because I need to save myself before I drown." I couldn't hold the tears that fell as I spoke. Telling everything to Anthony just made me know exactly how broken I was.

"Kathryn." He mentioned my name and I bit my bottom lip in anticipation.

Frustration and sadness were evident in his eyes still. I looked at him expectantly, but nothing came out. He remained silent as he held my gaze. I wanted to love so badly but having Anthony not feel the same for me made me wish to never feel this way for anyone again. To just rip out my heart — lock it up in a jar and throw it off a cliff.

"You don't have to say anything Anthony," I spoke up after I concluded he wasn't going to. I felt so heartbroken and destroyed. I felt void. He looked as though in deep thoughts, and he looked broken. I would have jumped for joy if I was na?ve, it's just pity.

I took that as my cue to leave and I was doing so when Anthony s voice stopped me.

"Sorry if I'm being selfish, Kathryn." he said, taking giant strides to where I stood. I furrowed my brow when he stood before me in seconds. Determined for some reason and it confused me even more.

Next thing I know, Anthony s arms are around my waist pulling me closer to his bare chest. I gasped at his swift action. I wanted to touch him but out of habit my hands immediately tangled behind my back, so I didn't do something stupid like what happened earlier. His eyes held mine in a heated stare. He looked at me like he had never seen anything as beautiful, but I knew better than to put meaning to it — it was probably just lust.

He brought his forehead down, so it was touching mine and my breath hitched. Anthony has fucked me several times, but this act was new to me. I closed my eyes, savoring his closeness and I could feel his eyes on me. I didn't open mine, but I felt him bringing his lips closer and closer with every given second. It would have been wise to push him away, but I couldn't, I just wanted his touch even if I couldn't get his love.

"Touch me, Kathryn." Anthony ordered and my eyes flew open instantly. Did I hear right? I wanted to question him but before I could open my mouth to utter a word his soft lips were on mine. It wasn't rough like the other times — it was gentle.

He bit my bottom lip and pulled it back with his teeth. His lips left mine for a second and when they returned, they were hungry. He pulled me in tighter, kissing me deeper. My hands were still behind my back, I wanted to touch him badly but decided against it even though I had his permission. Why would he want me touching him now? It would only make things harder for me.

If I did, I know for a fact I wouldn't leave and at that moment, just the thought scared me shitless, and I couldn't fathom why he'd want me to touch him — he hates being touched.

His tongue asked for permission, unlike the other times and I granted slowly. I had begun to kiss back at that point. I couldn't resist for long.

"I need you to touch me Kathryn," He pleaded between our kisses. There was so much desperation in his voice. His words left me feeling pregnant — that nervous feeling you have that it's like a baby in your stomach. Hesitantly, I untangled my hands and slowly grabbed onto his waist pulling him closer to me.

His body felt so warm and hard against my palms, I wanted to touch more of him. He groaned into our kiss, enjoying my touch maybe. It was the first time he had ever kissed me like that. It was too overwhelming, touching him. Seizing the opportunity, I ran my hands up his toned and muscular back as he deepened our kiss. He was literally attacking my mouth like it was the only food he had left to eat before he died.

"Fuck Kathryn," He groaned bringing his hand between us and giving my breast a beastly squeeze. I moaned,

throwing my head back which caused his lips to detach from mine. He groaned yet again and pulled my head back in place, smashing his lips against my animalistically.

My hands flew to his neck, tugging him closer to me. I palmed his face; it was still too surreal to be touching him. I felt him untie my robe and seconds later it was being tugged off. Our bodies parted for a second as it fell to the ground. I was pulled back into his body instantly, his bare hands touching me that way for the first time. He never really touched me as much whenever he was having his way with me.

His hands came down to my butt, unlike the other times, he didn't smack me. His rough palms squeezed it ever so slowly — unlike how he was kissing me. He massaged it and I moaned into his mouth. His hands landed on my thighs trying to lift me up and I jumped wrapping my legs around his waist not once breaking our kiss. I tangled my fingers in his hair as he walked towards his bed.

Not once had he had sex with me on his bed — that was why he had a bed in his playroom after all. My heart began to beat when I realized what was really happening. I didn't have time to figure out how I felt about it as I was thrown onto the bed. He was breaking too many rules of his in one night and it scared me, as much as I wanted it, for some reason, it scared me.

He stood above me with pure lust in his eyes, making sure to rake it over my body hungrily, "Fuck," He cursed and within seconds he was hovering over me. He just looked at me — he wasn't trying to kiss me or anything.

His eyes lingered on my bra. He unclasped it swiftly and that was when I noticed my back was arched. He yanked it off and continued his staring. My eyes were glued to his face the entire time. He bit his lips and looked back at me.

"Fuck," he cursed again, smashing his lips unto mine. His kiss was poisonous, it was slowly killing every strength I had left in my body. His left hand came down to us as he attacked my lips. He broke our kiss, trailing wet ones down my jaw and finally in the crook of my neck, the exact same spot as before.

He blew air on my skin and right after that his teeth followed. He dug his teeth into my flesh, and I moaned, arching my back. His hand moved between my thighs inching closer and closer to where I wanted him the most. My nails were digging their way into his back, imprinting our pleasures.

"I'm going to fuck you really hard Kathryn, and I want you screaming my name," he said with his head in the crook of my neck. I froze, like literally froze.

As much as I wanted to — I couldn't function. There had to be a mistake, those words couldn't have left his lips. But it wasn't, not after he repeated himself and stuck to his promise.

I squinted my eyes as the sunlight woke me up from my slumber. It was simply the best night I've ever had, after everything that occurred between Anthony and me, everything felt perfect. I couldn't help the stupid smile that made its way onto my lips. I had just woken up, but my heart was pounding in my chest at the thought of seeing Anthony. I couldn't help thinking what the outcome was going to be.

However, my smile faded away immediately. I sat up and saw that I was in my room — in my bed. A frown made its way onto my lips. At that moment, I felt my heart contrast in my chest, so many things running through my mind. I couldn't understand why he would bring me back to my room.

Why after everything that happened between us? He didn't say he loves me or anything, but his actions proved a point; that he cared about me — and that was enough. With a heavy heart, I made my way to the bathroom, freshened up and took a quick shower. I couldn't be bothered with an outfit, too many questions were running through my mind, so I settled for a dress t-shirt and faded washed out jeans, my hair left messily.

I knew it was just sex and he didn't owe me anything. It could have been out of pity anyway but that didn't stop me from putting meaning to it — It felt like it meant something. The way he looked at me, fucked me deeply and told me I was very beautiful, it felt like it meant something.

I trotted out of the room and towards the kitchen, knowing, as usual, he'd be there with a mug in his right hand and a tab before him as he sat on the barstool, and I wasn't wrong. His entire attention was on the technology he had in his hand- my heartbeat escalated. With Anthony, it could all go down the drain within seconds and that scared me.

"Hey," I greeted softly, nerves getting the best of me, but I tried my best not to show it. I was answered with silence, and I frowned slightly. He didn't even look my way and I just stood there like a fool- A fool waiting, waiting for him to get his shit together but it seemed to be too much to ask for.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and made my way towards the fridge. Panic taking over my insides, this was the Anthony I knew all too well and I knew that wasn't a good sign.

The Anthony that barely spoke to me and whenever he did, it made me feel like crap. The Anthony who paid me to sign a stupid contract so he could have his way with me — it was my decision, but it never failed to make me feel like a prostitute.

A feeling I hate with my entire being. I pulled out a bottle of water, turning around to face him. The silence was killing me, I needed to know whatever it was he was thinking.

"Would you vanish from my presence? I'm trying to work here." He said rudely and I was really taken aback.

Although, I saw it coming with the way in which I was greeted — with silence. The shock was still written all over my face and he watched me sternly. His eyes filled with so much anger and hate. I blinked several times, my heart shattering into a billion pieces.

"Wh— what?" I stammered. He sighed frustrated.

"Just because I fucked you last night doesn't change anything Kathryn. Nothing has changed, it meant nothing so stop acting like I owe you a fucking good morning kiss." He spoke calmly but irritated and I couldn't stop my heart from breaking more than it already had — like I had been stabbed with several knives.

I was dumbfounded as I stood before him. Wanting to shout at him and yell at him not to talk to me like that but I fell back into my old ways, obeying him. I nodded meekly, trying mightily hard to hold back my tears. His gaze stayed on me a little longer than usual, but he turned away just as fast, almost like it never happened. He continued with whatever it was he was doing, leaving me to stand there like a fool. Taking a deep subtle breath, I trotted towards the stairs and disappeared into my bedroom. Still not believing what had happened.