The past that lead us to this moment

It was the morning of the 2nd day of the 4th Holy Grail War. 2 figures could be seen lying on a king-size bed cuddled into each other's embrace.

The previous day was so eventful that Hajime needed an extra moment to recall everything in chronological order. First, there was the fake elimination of Assassin. Then, the destruction of the Matou household happened while Sakura and Kariya adopted surname Shigo and were sent away. After that, Morgan and Lancelot were trained to survive a possible encounter with an Outer God. All Servants gathered in one place where Artoria (Saber) and Diarmuid (Lancer) had their duel and then became witnesses to Caster and Berserker being a Master-Servant pair, while Morgan's Master or 'her husband' turned out to be the infamous Ray that left a voice recording with her, that in essence told everyone present that he quitted this farce called Holy Grail War and didn't want to be disturbed.

'The look of utter confusion on their faces was priceless!'

Then, there was that priest, Master of Assassin... His situation was so tricky that Hajime had to stop overcomplicating things and ask himself: "Is he my enemy?". The answer was no. If he killed someone who was not one, that would be crossing his bottom line.

There were only two things preventing him from becoming the monter he was called: his family and his bottom line. His loved ones weren't with him for more than 1,5 years already, and he even was ready to take drastic measures such as blowing up this world with himself as the catalyst essentially killing himself and leaving only a part of his soul to hopefully return to Yue through their soul corridor... Those were dark times for him. Amidst severe depression and constantly plaguing his mind self-destructive thoughts, he immersed himself into studying magecraft, learning cooking, improving his proficiency in magic, and building new artifacts... Just about anything that could distract him from doing something he would've regreted later.

It was then that he met the Grand Assassin King Hassan and Vivian... Alaya and Gaia certainly had different opinions on how to deal with the threat of him acting on his desperation. In the end, the Beast that carried the Logos of "Progression" and the Grand Servant known as the "Old Man of the Mountain" joined hands in the fight against (the third in a row for Hajime) Outer God. After the enemy was eliminated, they parted ways with newfound respect for each other. Following the advice of the Old Man, Hajime started spending more time in the Inner Sea of the planet, trying to relax his mind. It was there when he met Vivian, who essencially became a therapist for him.

Thinking about how things turned out to be after that, a smile appeared on Hajime's face.

Coming out of his memories, he looked at the woman sleeping peacefully in his arms with a content smile on her face.

'I know that she inherited all the knowledge of the Morgan le Fay from panhuman history, but sexual knowledge all the more so in depth... That version of her sure lives up to her reputation. In a sense, it is good that I was unable to see those "memories" as they are closer to a dream rather than a memory, and from my understanding, the Master-Servant link allowes to see only the events that actually happened for the person to experience first-hand. My perception of her might have been warped. Ultimately, what matters is who she is now, so I should focus on that instead of her or not so her past. Speaking of which... Should I take her on a date? Our relationships might be already at the stage past the point of no return, and it is simply impossible to get to know each other better as we already do, but it would be nice to create good new memories together...'

After contemplating for a bit, Hajime decided to stay in bed with her. It would be better if upon waking up, she felt his presence. Breakfast could be prepared later.

Time flew by quickly as Morgan's eyelashes trembled a little, the sign of her waking up. The moment her brain registered the position she was in and reminded her about the recent events, a blush involuntarily grew on her face.

"Good morning."

A gentle voice filled with warmth resonded in the otherwise silent bedroom. Morgan knew whom that voice belonged to and whom it addressed, but still, she felt surreal from hearing something so nice directed at her. Only when a sudden kiss landed on the top of her head did she come out of the daze.

"It may seem strange now, but I promise, in the future, you will look forward to every moment like this when you feel at home. I believe home is somewhere you feel you belong to, something you would protect with all your being. My home is with my family. And now, it is with you. I promise to make you feel welcomed and loved here. Just don't make me regret this decision."

"Does that mean you have finally accepted me as your wife?"

"Yes. Yesterday, when I drowned you in my feelings, the surprising side effect was that you completely opened up to me. Why do you think I so easily agreed to your request afterward?" Then he caressed her head a little, prompting her to look up to his face. "I also will be completely honest with what I am about to share with you. You may find my reason to accept you underwhelming, but it is what it is. Here we go... Morgan, as you know, I am crazy. Abyss did a number on me, and consequent events weren't of much help either. Sometimes, I have literally world-ending ideas about how to solve my problem. I know that if I act on them, I would regret it later, but it is simply maddening when you want something so much, but you are unable to achieve it no matter how hard or what you try. The longer it goes on like this, the more frustration grows, and the more likelihood of me actually doing something... impulsive increases. I don't want you to do anything special. You don't need to let go of any of your ambitions or give up your dream. In fact, go for it, I will support you in all your endeavors. Just be there for me, and I will be here for you. That's all I am asking for."

"I accept, of course. But why so sudden, and why are you so... sad? melancholic?" Morgan asked as she felt his emotions through their soul corridor.

"I am simply tired... It is the second, no, the first true time in a while that I can reminisce about the past, then be able to clear my mind and just relax. No depressing thoughts at the back of my head, no burning desire to regain the lost as soon as possible... Finally, only peace and quiet."

Hearing his explanation, Morgan focused on herself to check, and curiously enough, she felt the same. A comfortable silence descended on the pair as they both relished in these rare pleasant feelings. No one wanted to get out of bed. At that moment, the warmth and comfort they shared were the most precious. The war could wait. The world could end, and they wouldn't care. They both knew inside this subspace, this mansion, they would be safe even if an apocalypse happened outside.

As Morgan was lying there, for the first time in what felt like forever enjoying something, her mind wandered off to her past. Like elusive dreams, scenes of her early childhood resurfaced from her memories.

It was raining outside the window. She was sitting in the embrace of her foster mother, and together, they were reading a book. The currents of time washed away names of the kind woman who took her in and the book they were so engrossed into, but to this day, she could vividly recall the warmth she felt. The rhythmic sound of rain dropping on the rooftop and knocking on windows, the soft glow of a lamp illuminating the room... It was so peaceful back then.

But one day, everything changed. They came because she was the Child of Prophecy, the Fairy of Paradise. Because she was a pawn in that game of fate, the thorn in their side, a hated existence that could channel the voice of Paradise. Then the battle happened. No, the correct term should've been the massacre. Men, women, children, elderly, military, civilians, – they killed everyone. That day, the entire Rain Clan perished, but she survived. Aesc. It was the name, the last wish of her mother. It was an unspoken promise. The promise to become the Savior needed by the Fairy Britain.

She tried. She did her best. Even when she received memories of the panhuman history's Morgan, she didn't let go of her ideals. In fact, the knowledge that included what was destined to become of her homeland and the skills she gained from it only served to strengthen her resolve to change the fate of slowly dying Fairy Britain. But no matter how many times she stood up to protect them, no matter how hard it was to fight against Calamities every 100 years and Great Calamities every 1000 years only to drag her battered body afterwards to hide in a nearby cave and just collapse there into a pre-made coffin unconscious, and consequently lose decades of life sleeping, recovering... No matter how much effort she put into doing good for the people of her country... The only constant in her life remained the betrayal of those she strived to protect.

However, contrary to what many would do, she didn't give up. She changed her approach. She became a Fairy Queen ruling South alongside Uther, the king of humans in Camelot. Together they were kind and fair rulers who tried to mend relationships between the two races. Alas, fate was cruel to her once again. She thought that everything was under control and going nicely. Indeed, fairies under her rule were the best behaved of all of them. But betrayal struck from an unexpected side. A group of humans was instigated to start a rebellion, and they were successful in their assassination attempt on their king. That day her first love took his last breath in her arms. It was the last day Aesc the Savior was ever seen, because as her tears were falling on his motionless body, the only survivor of the Rain Clan couldn't withstand it anymore. This name, the last wish of her mother, it suddenly became too heavy to bear. At last, no more tears were left. Her heart felt empty. On the second worst day of her life she accepted the part of her, that before she always kept at bay. On that day she promised herself to return to Camelot as the strongest, to make all others submit or to be killed, to never let something like this to happen again. She left to the Ends of the World to train and become stronger, to acquire Black Magic, to become the Fairy Queen Morgan.

Then the scene of her death appeared in her mind. How desperate, helpless she felt, as she was first fataly wounded by her close aide and then had to watch as her own adopted daughter was tortured, only to be killed by the fairies of her court in her own throne room. Once again she failed. She failed her mother and failed as a mother herself. She lost and her life and the Britain again.

It was painful to remember, so painful it was almost unbearable. She was once again reminded why she buried all those memories and feelings deep within, why she had to act tough all the time even when she was alone only with herself.

Suddenly the pain reduced in half as a comforting feeling invaded her senses, and the hug around her tightened.

"Better?" A concerned caring voice sounded from above.

"Thanks." A small whisper came in return.

"The past is already gone. Now, at this moment, it is only the two of us here. In the future, we can create nice memories together to offset for all shit that happened in our lives and then some more. We have all the time in all worlds for this. In fact, we can start today. How about we go on a date?"

"I am fine with it."

Morgan was ready to get out of the bed, but the arms around her were like some type of immovable objects. She lifted her head and shoot a questioning gaze at him.

"Let's stay like this for a little longer. Empty your head of all thoughts and let yourself enjoy this atmosphere of peace and quiet. It is too rare to give up on it just like this."

She decided to listen to him and did as she was told. Her last thoughts being: 'I am used to silence, but peace is indeed rare and precious. And it feels nice...'

~~~

A/N: Nobody reads "Author's Thoughts", so I am writing it here. I rarely encouner fanfics or novels in general that take their time to explore character of people that aren't MC, especially their past, the reason they became like this. I just want to do add more personality to them so they wouldn't apper shallow.

Originaly I hadn't planned on writing this episode and was finalizing the draft of the Banquet of Kings, but then I noticed how fast-paced the story became, so I decided to add something more on character development's side.

Also I must say, I admire the capability of some authors to keep up with frequent update schedule without any monetary gain to motivate them. I realized I have a long way to go before I am able to do even 3 chp/week without hindering my everyday life. Plus, the mood affects writing, so this chapter is on the darker tone but with a hope for the better.