Me

I watched all through as they rushed me to the medical department as though I were running out of blood or something.

The nurse asks me to sit...which I do and then she dresses the injury. I really don't know what's happening to my body...it's the first time I'm so lost like this.

"She'd be fine...I won't say she has shut-d but she just dissociated". The nurse says.

"What's shut-d?" One of the girls ask.

"It's short for shut down dissociation". I hear Devika say.

I'm back to normal now...I hear everything but I'm just dumb at the moment.

"Yeah. She dissociated". The nurse says.

"What does that even mean?" Cam asks.

"Dissociation. It's when one exits their thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations and zone out instead of being in the present and this is usually due to stress". The nurse says.

I turn to look at her.

I storm out of the room after hearing her speak.

"Pathetic". I hear someone say.

I rush into the class and pack my stuffs. I was about walking out the door when I bumped into Jed.

"Hey...slow down cutie". He says and I stand and stare at him with my arms folded.

"It's not school over yet. Why are you leaving?" He asks.

"Non ya biz. Please excuse me". I say to him.

"Whoa. Sorry". He says.

I look past him and I see Miguel and Devika.

"Do me this favor and tell Gayle and Vaughn I left. Help me take Gayle home". I say and walk out.

"And Vaughn?" Miguel asks.

"He can deal with it". I say without turning back.

"Babe...wait up!" Cam says and I halt.

"I'm going". I say to him.

"Wait up. I'd go with you". He says.

"You've books to read...exams to write and a final year exam too. We both can't go home. Stay back and you teach me what I missed". I say to him.

"You're definitely not okay and you need me". He says.

"Right. I need you. But I need you in the class". I say after turning around.

"I don't see how that works". He says and I walk out on him.

I've always known I've this mental illness where I dissociate. Not really a mental illness though but I knew I had this strange illness Shut-D. But I don't fancy when people talk about it in front of me or even spell it out to me. It sucks and hurts to have such an illness plus they make it seem like I'm insane. Like I need a psychiatrist or even be in an asylum when I'm perfectly fine.

I flag down a cab after stepping out of school and enter it.

"Austin". I say to the driver and he speeds off.

I arrive at my house at exactly 11:45am. I press the door bell and it rings and I do it over and over and over again but no one answers.

I use the intercom instead. "Can someone get the door?" I say.

"Honey...you should be in school". Mom says on the intercom.

"Just get the door mom!" I say and sigh then I release my finger from the intercom.

I stand there arms folded...with a grin on my face...lips twitched...waiting for someone to get the door. The door opens after some seconds and I step in immediately. I take off my coat and hang it on the wall beside the door and I grab my bag in my hands and walk into the kitchen ignoring mom's calls and questions. I open the fridge and grab a can of soda and walk away.

I ascend the stairs up to my room and I shut the door behind me. I take out my cellphone from my bag after popping open the can of soda. I already had multiple voice messages and texts from Cam...I roll my eyes and take out my charger and my power bank. I walk over to the socket and plug in my cellphone and my power bank. I gulp down all the contents in the can and toss it into the bin before letting out a less noisy burp. I kick my shoes off my leg and then I take off my dress. I was completely naked now. I take my towel from my closet and wrap it around my body and tie my hair up in a bun and walk into the shower.

I step into the bath tub...after filling it with water. It was steamy already. I lay in the bath tub with my head backwards and my eyes shut. I was probably thinking....I needed space and time from literally everyone. Humans can be so awful. I lay in the tub for extra two minutes before I eventually sponge myself and wash off and step out of the tub.

I walk into the room in my towel and slippon. The room was so warm...not the kind I like. I love icy places...really cold places. I turn on the air conditioner after which I settle on the seat in front of my dresser. I dry my hair... and pack it in a messy bun at first....then I loosen it and pack it up in a messy pony tail after combing it. I apply my body lotion and slide into my jean shorts. White jean shorts (bum shorts) with my white crop top singlet. No bra. I throw myself on the bed after taking my phone. I stare at the ceiling for a while at first then my eyes dart across the room. Picking up my phone from the bed...I unlock it and take my ear piece from my bedside table and plug it in to my phone...then my ears. I slide through till I get to Netflix. I hate to watch videos over WiFi so I just download it.

I tap the section where "downloads" is written and then it opens. I scroll and scroll and scroll before settling to watch 365 days. I sort of like the movie...

I already started it the day before but I couldn't finish it....I had little left to finish the movie.

I was in no mood for movies now. I pause the movie and exit the app. I was writing a book on this app called webnovel. I was currently writing about myself...."Dangerous Love (Cravings). I love the app bu t what upset me is that my power stones keep resetting every week and never goes back to the actual amount....it just settles at zero after resetting.

"Ms Pamela?" I type.

I wasn't in no mood to write the book either. I exit the app and settle to play a game but I'm still in no mood for it. I slide my phone under my pillow and cover myself with the sheets high up my chest...I tap my fingers on the sheet as my eyes dart across the room then I roll to the other side of the bed and shut my eyes before drifting off to sleep.

**************

I wake up with a loud bang...my head was hurting real bad. It was almost as though I had a hangover of some sort. I don't know how long I slept but I woke up around 7:45pm. Just then my phone starts ringing and I sigh before picking it up. I glide my fingers to the right part of the screen and answer the call. I stay mute for a while waiting for the caller to speak up.

"Stace..." The person speaks up and I end the call immediately.

I was in no mood to even talk to anyone. It was Mr. Fred. I don't know how he got my contact. Perhaps the VC's his friend so he definitely let him have access to some certain school properties...probably how he got my number. I block his number immediately....cos deleting it won't help.

I get off the bed from the left side of the bed where I laid and slide my feet into my slippon. I stuff my phone into my back pocket after standing up. I walk to the door and unlock it and then I step out of the room.