Ch.7 :

♦︎ Forgotten feelings ♦︎



(S)he was coming at me again but this time quicker, faster as my breath hitched, my whole being reacting instinctively . I felt my throat with my hands as if already feeling hers there. Her sudden movement made me flinch in fright , my back hitting against the wall, a deep rumbling voice sounding from everywhere. Tell her , tell her who I am, she shares my body, our body...my head felt light as the oxygen was cut out of me. Let me go! Let me go ! I'm going to die...

I felt the bullet cut in through my stomach the pain binding me in my spot. I looked around seeing the children immediately alarmed and trying to get to me. He pointed his gun at them threatening them with ending me. But we all knew he was going to do so anyway. Then I looked at my children's face. The people I had started to care about as a mother when most people back then at that age would only think of partying or parade around having fun. Yet I had them , my darlings. The only people that mattered to me , their little childish eyes puffed out red and dark , shocked , scared swirls of emotions in them and a desperate hope for me to survive, not to die. I smiled at them ,the most honest one I could muster the pain in me making the corners of my mouth twist. They needed me. I reached my hand out trying to wobble towards them, and forgetting for a moment what was happening, the overwhelming desire to get closer to them guiding me through masking away my pain. Then he tripped me and I fell lying on the ground his foot punching me to the side making me roll. I couldn't hate him. No matter what was happening or will maybe never happen again , I just couldn't. Half of it was my fault after all.My head was reeling and a heavy feeling weighed down on me. I wouldn't survive this , I thought as he hovered above me with a maddened smile.

I will die he'll kill me and my children. He lift his arm up to trust the last blow, yet as I knew the first of many to come. It soared through me and I gasped as my breath was knocked out of me-

I woke up in my bed , a scream caught in my throat and breathing heavily as I reached a trembling hand to my neck as if still feeling suffocated , sweat beads rolling down my back. This is the worst nightmare I've ever had in my whole life. Trying to calm down, I rested my head over my knees as I brought them to my chest. I breathed out a shaky sigh. This is was so scary.

I fell with a thud off my bed , wind knocked out of me . I quickly scrambled back up thinking he was still hovering over me, my eyes darting frantically around. Then my shaky legs gave out beneath me and I slumped, fatigue and fear , weighing me down. Then the unsettling feelings nauseated me and flashbacks of my dream -the bloodied woman- made me run to the toilet.

～♦︎～

Lone

As I gripped the ends of my sleepwear, I thought how the same thing almost happened two days ago. How I was almost throttled to death by my own sister. No matter how much I knew that she would never hurt me on purpose, all that happened couldn't quiet sit with me.

I mean how was that even possible ? For someone to possess someone else's body? And how believable is that ? I mean it's not like I can go to the hospital and try telling them to suck a soul from my sister's body or even an exorcist. And where the heck do you even get an exorcist ? I mean those kind of things are just not being done in this world and even if they ever did , still , not anymore. I sighed lifting my head and brushing a hand through my light brown hair , as I tried to calm myself down.

And all that aside I was still worried about the fact that the incident with her might have sprouted subconscious fear of her in me. I don't want to dwell on it too much , but I can't ignore the fact that it did strongly mark me. I don't know at all if I should talk this out with a professional or something ? And if I didn't , would that change my interactions with her altogether ?

I sighed and I brought the tip of my hair close to my eyes , and thought of how physically different we where, my sister and I. Almost like we weren't related. She had this tan colored body and rocked black curly hair when she wasn't wearing one of her two wigs. Yet , I had blue eyes and a light shade of brown hair that tended towards blond. Sometimes I really did wonder about our relation. Wether we were really siblings .

But that would be until I looked in her eyes and noticed how we had the same facial features too. Like that round small nose that she always complained about. That thought brought a smile to my lips. I needed to see her. And I much as it scared me we needed to talk.

~ ♦︎ ~

Ena

I heard my door slowly creek open from my position on my comfy conforter. I didn't lift my eyes from the article I was reading on my iPad, from the corner of my eyes I spotted Lone. Besides it couldn't be my mom because it was just not her habit to penetrate my room except for wreaking havoc. And Greta would knock on my door naturally.

When I felt the seat dip beside me, I looked up to Lone siting on my bed, her eyes a bit wild and her dune colored skin looking pale. I immediately thought something was wrong and carefully put my iPad down.

I looked at her for some minutes waiting for her to say something, her head bent forward and her eyes cast down. Then I couldn't help but bend my head down too, to look at her from her curtain of hair. She jerked up, a bit surprised, but then shook her head at me, while chuckling. Then she put some strands of hair behind her ear and she looked at me. She still seemed nervous.

" Uhm, I'm not too sure how to start about this ..." she said her eyes fleeting from me to the ground. I still kept silent waiting for her to elaborate. She blew out a shaky breath.

" It's not easy you know to try and relive a trauma." She said with half a smile. She was obviously trying to back away from confessing. I strategically chose silence so we don't get sidetracked from the matter at hand. If we wanted to find a way for this to end we needed at least to acknowledge it.

"Y-you know that time when , like 2 days ago when , you, you were-"

" Yes ?" I didn't want her to feel pressured into telling me. Yet I wanted to help her get it out of herself smoothly. Once and for all.

" Yeah uhm, she said something , I mean you said something-"

I clutched at my bedsheet fervently trying to keep my emotions at bay. I cannot get overwhelmed right now. One of us needs to be coolheaded or else-

" Are you doing this guarding yourself thing right now? Are you seriously trying to lock your emotions in front of me ?"

" Lone..." I weakly started in a croaky voice.

" Look at me in the eyes !"

" Lone please, -"

"Look at me !"

"I'm afraid ! I'm terrified at what you're going to say. I'm scared like hell and I didn't want you to know. I want to be strong in front of you but you're making it so hard..." I faltered in defeat.

"Is it alright for us to talk about anything this huge just like that? Without some help I mean ?" She said after recovering from her shock. I wiped away my tears, sniffing silently as I mulled over her words.

"I don't know about a psy but we do have our own personal counselor." I said smiling halfheartedly, I subtly tried to hint at Ann. The woman who was the willing witness of our daily miseries.

She smiled in understanding , her face brightening a little.

"Do you think we should go spook her out with our crazy stories ?" She said her eyes gleaming with mischief. I smiled back , enjoying the momentary truce before the upcoming war.

I nodded silently albeit a little apprehensive about how it she might take the whole thing. The whole new things.

～♦︎～

I went downstairs and met Lone there , her backpack lazily slung over her shoulders and wearing her habitual annoyed poker face to show her unwillingness to going to school.I nudged her playfully to the side knowing how much she actually liked it there. Even if that was for her friends. Which brought a question to my mind.

" Lone, princess, am I ever going to have the pleasure of meeting your friends ?" She blinked a little as if taken aback by my question. I easily sensed discomfort in her change of stature from how she glanced to the side avoiding my gaze. This time I won't make it easy on her by dropping the topic because I knew how she felt about it.

" Lone, though I could pick up on your feelings faster than you can feel them, I'm not going to back down on this one. I think I deserve to have an answer and at least meet another people who share your life a big part of the day. Who's your other family outside of home?"

She sighed , still looking everywhere but at me and brought a hand through her hair, rubbing her temples. I shifted my stance , crossing my arms over my chest.

"Ena, can we not talk about this right now ? Don't we have more pressing matters-"

"Are you ashamed of me ?" I drew to the sad conclusion carefully keeping judgment out of my voice.

"No Ena and you know very well that's not the case. I just-I think now's not the right time for you to meet. I- I don't know maybe later on okay ? Please." She pleaded her voice almost desperate.

I sighed and let go. I guessed she was right to say we needed to deal with bigger things first, though I could do well with the distraction. Her words held a glimmer of hope for me , for the day I might encounter her very own special people. But I guessed that being the coolheaded one of us she found it logical to bring me back from my fantasies when it's required. And I definitely didn't want us to start another fight when we needed to cooperate.

As we made our way to the kitchen for breakfast, Greta hurriedly came to us saying in a hushed tone;

" Your mother is awake and is waiting for you , she personally wants to drive you to school today."

I felt my stomach drop and my heartbeat speed up as sweat gathered on my forehead.

Of course I knew as long as I would live under the same roof as her I was bound to see her at some point . I guessed a weekend of bliss was enough to make me forget my everyday-life realities.

Lone beside me was shifting uncomfortably and didn't quiet know how to react. It's always been a mystery to us as to why mother treated her better than me and would spared her unless she stepped in front of me to beg for mother's mercy at the hardest times. It made me feel like scum compared to her. I repressed a grimace , and drew in a shaky breath knowing how you could never be prepared to face that woman.

Then I felt Lone's hand on my arm as if to reassure me . I smiled sadly at her . Greta besides us had a worried expression and I smiled faintly at her trying to discreetly wipe my sweat away. I thought it was the hardest thing for Greta to see us live through the constant fear of having our soul-beaten selves destroyed , the painful anticipation we get every-time before a heavy blow of Mother .

But this was our fate. What we're bind to until we found a way to escape, before it was too late for any of us.

I went in first and watched as mother was busying herself around in the kitchen the sound of clattering dishes echoing around her. I looked at her working form sometime before speaking.

"Good morning Mother." I say timidly, my voice quavering a little as I waited for her to acknowledge me. It was the least I could ever hope to get from her. I saw her put something away before turning her back.

"Did you have fun at these old idiot's gathering or should I say gossip club ?" I jumped from the harshness of her voice. She didn't know them yet she insulted and demeaned them like they were worth nothing. Wether they were some of the people who unknowingly brought a cheer into my life didn't matter to her even if she knew. It stung so bad, the fact that I couldn't dare defend them and it would be of no use anyway.

Instead I clutched hard at the hem of my dress, my nails biting into palms so much I felt some wetness. I bit back my tongue from saying anything that would get me a slap. I chose careful silence , but even that didn't save me.

"Hey ! I'm not talking to a wall , am I ? You look at me , and answer me back !" she shouted . I jumped from fright , and brought my arms around my stomach in an attempt to protect it from a possible direct blow. This somehow helped me keep my balance from my overly shaking.

Don't show emotions , keep your eyes low, don't answer.

She forcefully lifted my chin up to meet her eyes. Don't look straight into them , don't cry , please not that...

" You persist in your silence ?! Who do you take me for ? A dog who barks out what you hate to hear ? You think I like doing that ? Didn't I tell to speak up when I talk to you huh ?!" I heard a whoosh of wind before her hand collided with my cheek-

Then , nothing . I thought I had fainted because I felt myself going limp and weak, the racing of my heart having stopped and the coursing adrenaline leaving my body left me empty. Though there was no burning pain on my cheek. I opened my eyes to find myself in the arms of my little sister who could barely hold on to me. And looked on my side to find Greta holding mother's hand in a strong grip as if that would stop her from doing any more harm. Greta you should have just let her do what she does best; Hurting me.

"Ma'am please have mercy not today she just came from the hospital. I agree she's done wrong she's been an insolent child for not answering back to you but please I call out to your motherly heart let her go unscathed . Please ." Greta begged mom in such an endearing manner. I suddenly felt afraid Mother would turn her wrath on her instead. Greta seldom stepped in for us, but the rare times she ever did , Mother would let go, though not always.

This would sounded ridiculous , but it felt at times like this that Mother was waiting for a good enough reason from Greta to convince her to stop hurting us.

She stepped back , a glare still in her eyes that she directed at me. Then stormed out of the room.

Greta heaved a long sigh of relief .Then started giggling out of nowhere .

"Oh dear, I really though I was up for the beating myself this time." she said her hand on her heart as she tried to brush the stress off with some lame joke. Once again I realized how old she was and how hard it was on her to protect and care for us.

I looked down and realized Lone had left my side. I ran my gaze around trying to find her and saw her sitting on the kitchen chair her head held in her hands. I dropped my eyelids shut and let my mind wander to happier things.

In times past , when it wasn't like that and papa Monti was still alive. When I was eight and lone wasn't born yet , held the happiest moments of my life . There was no hitting , no shouting I even recall though faintly now an ever smiling and happy Mother. Back then I always called her mom. Back then I had a mom and a dad that both loved and cherished me . Really, we where happy. Until five years later.

"Girls, do you still want to have breakfast?" Greta asked cautiously. The thought of food made my stomach churn. I guessed the horrible mix of adrenaline and fear didn't wear off yet.

I shook my head no and got up from the ground with a little help from Greta. I located my backpack in a corner , slung it on and silently headed for the door not waiting for Lone to follow suit. I desperately needed a change of air and to forget.

I went to the backyard garden , found the tap fountain and just washed my face clean from any trace of worry or stress. I smeared the make up of indifference and impassivity on as I blinked back a few stubborn tears. Somehow a fleeting realization found itself on my mind.

I felt grateful that she didn't have the casual pleasure of driving her kids (Lone) to school like any normal parent.

~ start of classes ~

We were in physics class, and the course hadn't started yet . I was at the A-wing of the school for A-list students and our elite always made it a point to be in class before the teacher and wait for him.

Our class was elevated to the rank of The As as we met two of the requirements. The first being ,we had a certain discipline that we imposed on each other since you needed a coordinated teamwork and impeccable personal performances to be validated. Secondly everyone in the class had passed with flying colors the aptitude test held each new school year. That test concerned every one at high school level from the freshmen to the seniors. Then they would choose from these classes the elite that would form the A-list.

You would think we were a bunch of supportive students toward each other but really the only truth was the cold determination that drove everyone aiming to be designated as the best student in the whole school and the peer pressure from the rivaling students in and out of the school.

Being the best student would earn you the chance of meeting the country's prime minister and many other distinguished personalities but it would also grant you means for a secure future (money wise ) and turn you into a country genius celebrity. Not only us but every school in the capital competed each end of school year for raising the student that would make their renown and fill up their pocket.

A-listers were the ones everybody should look up to , the pride of our school and maybe the most envied group of people probably because of all our privileges which didn't only stop at school.

I on the other had no such interest in fame or the whole money thing. I was already in a somewhat privileged situation because of Mother's position. I liked to think that the only thing that brought me here was my never ending curiosity in science and technology. I always wanted to know more.

I glanced up from my seat in the front row to the A-list ranking hanging up on the wall . Our class' could be considered as a senior year class but we were already following college grade programs.

In addition to that our school was actually the first and only one that conceived and adapted our very own education method we called A-listing. Actually there was no B , C or D class following our class accordingly to their level of smartness and the school didn't advocate that because they thought it a way of discouraging other students from working harder and lowered their self esteem .

Another reason for this list to be was to help push the other students to work harder and to get to that goal. Thankfully grades that didn't reach A-list were never displayed on the school board but instead everyone's was sent at home and directly to their parents through their email or text message.There was no escaping one's fate.

The teacher came in and we all stood up to salute him until he motioned for us to sit down. Mr. Raven had a different hairstyle again today , and true to his extravagance , it was that of a shark , really , but we were all respectful student and no one dared break a laugh.

I took that as my cue to plug in my earphones and turn on my favorite Chinese song Qián Qián and closed my eyes.

"Hey class , so I wanted to ask you , what do you guys think is or was the loudest sound in the world ?" Mr.Raven asked expectantly. Amira , the third on list raised her hand.

"It's a whale's sound which could be of three kinds: clicks , whistles and pulses. The most astounding one is the humpback whale . Humpback whales are also known to sing. They make rhythmic utterances that usually last 10-15 minutes. The utterances are strung together without pauses to create a song. These whales create patterns similar to human patterns and often use an ABA structure for songs. Humpback whales continually make changes to a song over a five-year period. Theme and variation changes allow the whale to expand its repertoire. Whale songs are considered to be the loudest of all animal songs. Researchers have also discovered that whales use rhyme in their songs, which may serve as a mnemonic device. They typically perform their repertoire at night. Humpbacks in the same ocean sing the same songs. Males are usually the only ones that sing, which leads scientists to believe that the object of the song is to attract a mate and also to ward off any other males by declaring territory." The girl said and actually memorized all that in a trait. As expected from the 3rd in list.

" Thank you miss Mahmoud for your informations . This was well learnt . Anyone else ?" No one raised their hand and was probably curious to the teacher's answer . After all if Amira didn't get it right , what could it be?

" Okay so , the loudest sound ever heard was that of a volcano which got into eruption . The Krakatoa volcano . Our lesson of today is going to be about sounds as a physical entity." The teacher started out and turned around to write on the board.

" This volcano entered into eruption -"

" On the morning of Aug. 27, 1883, ranchers on a sheep camp outside Alice Springs, Australia, heard a sound like two shots from a rifle. At that very moment, the Indonesian volcanic island of Krakatoa was blowing itself to bits 2,233 miles away. Scientists think this is probably the loudest sound humans have ever accurately measured. Not only are there records of people hearing the sound of Krakatoa thousands of miles away, there is also physical evidence that the sound of the volcano's explosion traveled all the way around the globe multiple times." I answered cutting the teacher off. I opened back my eyes to see him staring at me with expertly concealed pride.

But I had a knack for noticing people's body language. When I'm not awkward that is.

" You knew about that Miss Montella but why didn't you answer first ? " He was the only teacher from among my favorite subjects that ever called me by my surname. Actually he did so with everyone of us. He looked at me quizzically putting a finger under his chin. I found it entertaining how he clearly regarded my whole character and behaviors as an intriguing specimen. I just smiled and shrugged at him.

"Well, my song was at my favorite part at that time." He smiled enjoying the conversation.

"So you decided to give up on potential bonus points on a whim?" I just shrugged.I didn't want to take from the others their own opportunities to have them. I didn't mind. I could get bonus easily whenever I wanted.

Amira huffed in annoyance, clearly expressing how mad she was that I got praise and attention and not her. Though I heard her , from her seat near me , faintly mutter something along the lines of "arrogant, show off, how dare she humiliate me like that ? Like I needed her generosity to earn points."

I decided to help her unload her heart.

"I'm sorry Amira did you say something ?" She snapped her head in my direction , seemingly surprised that I heard everything. Did she forget our seats were close ?

"Miss Mahmoud did you have something to say ?" Mr.Raven questioned too, curious.

" N-No sorry nothing." She mumbled her head hung in shame. She did estimate this teacher a lot even though he didn't look like he approved of her.

" Well then please avoid disturbing the class." Mr Raven said before shortly sending me a slight nod of acknowledgement before turning his back to us. He really was my favorite teacher for good reason.

~ After class ~

"So I take it it's really enjoyable for you to flaunt out your intelligence at us. " Amira accused as she came up to me, and sat down on the edge of my desk. She threw dark ebony curls down her back. I was about to tell her that it wasn't intentional when Leighton - 5th in list - chipped in.

"Just ignore that envious witch . I heard that you went to the gymnasium of common students last week . Wasn't that a bit risky ?" He said successfully shutting her up by calling her names. Being the youngest of the class only 13 years and Amira being 18, she was his favorite laughingstock and quiet frankly little Leigh made fun of everyone . But it wasn't like we didn't return the favor.

Leigh didn't like attending the gym class, for some reasons but always made it up with his grades.

"I just wanted to make friends there-"

" Well let me tell you that wasn't the smartest move of yours . You know this kind of behavior namely exposing yourself to the commoners and letting yourself be a subject to their bullying is something that could detain on our image ." said the prim and proper Margaret who's 4th in list.

"And besides as a team , aren't we all a big bunch of friends ?" Leigh joked knowing full well how untrue this was and how much they wouldn't even bear to see each other's faces outside of school. Though I wouldn't mind having them as real friends. The others stayed silent ignoring him. He childishly pulled his tongue out at us.

Everyone in our class took it as their responsibility to scold anyone that seemed to be swerving on the wrong path . The one that degraded our class' status. Though I knew that didn't matter, the uptight ones of us didn't like it that we be looked down on since we were the elite with a reputation of being unreachable , smart and daunting. I still didn't understand the whole concept of it, because I though it was too stupid to try, but I never thought of going against it either.

I definitely wanted to get along with the rest of the school corp but I wasn't sure how to go about at it. They hated us for our behavior , I knew we needed to change that but because of my other many problems, I just never considered it important enough.

" Would you both stop annoying poor Ena she's still got inter school marathon she was designated to take for the elite's benefit . If she loses we get severals point down the school rank , don't stress her out for nothing." Elias spoke, his deep voice effortlessly echoing from the farthest row behind , his long legs dangling from his desk with his back and head lazily slump on his chair. He was 8th in list , the last rank.

" Um, guys I don't exactly feel sure about-"

"And that's coming from the last in list who dumped me for sleep when I needed him for our paired lab assignment. You couldn't careless about teamwork." Matthias slurred from beside Elias a bottle of wine in his hand. It was his habit to always be drunk in class. Said it helped him concentrate better. I always found it weird but who knew alcohol had reversed effects on certain minds.

He was 7th in list and the least , preoccupied with his grade or his place for that matter, yet he definitely gave great importance to teamwork. Which is why he still resented Elias.

" Don't try and lump me in with you. We all know you're the laziest one of us and you knew I desperately needed to catch up on sleep. We wouldn't want individual low performance dimming our team efforts would we ?" Matthias answered slyly effectively winning the argument. Sometimes I really doubted the sincerity of my classmates in wanting each other's wellbeing.

" Boys ! Instead of squabbling over who's worse than who, we have more pressing matters at hand like the recently penalizing illness of that girl. She's been absent for too often lately and those unnamed problems of hers keep un-focusing her and disabusing our common efforts !" Exclaimed none other than Margaret in her heavy English , a lot of barely contained disappointment on her face.

"Well I would beg to differ here those things that keep happening to her aren't exactly her fault." Matthias said surprisingly defending me. "And besides it's not like our class would be worth much if it wasn't for her or-OUCH!"

" Who da hell threw that ?!!" He screamed holding a big Astrology book between his hands.

" Can you guys shut the hell up ? Someone is actually trying to cram up shit here!" Bethilda or Beth as she liked us to call her shouted from her seat near Leigh, her study books formed a wall around her.

She was the 6th in list and the person who studied the hardest in class to get on the A-list . She said that it was her ultimate goal to get on the list because that was the achievement of her sister who was the former 1st on list from last year's graduate students. She wanted to prove herself to her family this way.

" Language, you two! " Margie scolded .

" What the hell is wrong with you ? You wanna fight uh ?!!" Matthias dared Beth. Big mistake, he should know better but I had a feeling he did this often on purpose.

" Why are you both ignoring me ?!"

" I'm not the one who threw the book at your ugly face !" Beth defended herself .

" This is love , this is love , this luh-ve ~" Elias sang while innocently flipping through a book.

" Is you asshole provoking me ?!" Beth screeched and lurched herself at him, pinning him down . Then starting to punch him like a pro wrestler 🤼.

" I'll show you how to respect a woman !"

" But you're only a girl !"

" Even more reason ! And ew your breath stinks!" She said in disgust when she tried to slap him.

" That doesn't keep you from straddling me every single time." Beth's eyes widened like saucers at his nerve.

The poor Matthias then writhed from pain under her and tried to forfeit by saying sorry but she would only be satiated when she had broken him a nose.

" Don't you boors have any dignity ?!" Margie finally shouted loosing her countenance. Though she wouldn't bother trying to separate them or else she might get disheveled.

Amira haughtily turned her back on them thinking too highly of herself to even look at them. Leigh and Elias cackled like hyenas clearly enjoying their show.

I smiled looking at them. I have to say our class could be quiet merry on some days .On others it's mostly silent either because of upcoming exams for studying or because one or another of us is lost in their own everyday life problems.

Speaking of which I didn't know much about any of them personally aside from what character they showed at school . Since none of us was close outside of school, this went without saying that we didn't really want to know more about each others.

I, for my part, didn't want them to know a darker side of me. They already only knew me as a the second smartest girl of the school with an abnormally frequent habit for falling sick which said sickness wasn't known. Though no-one and no other student never actually witnessed any of my fits because I always managed to find a hiding spot. So the whole my being creepy thing only relied on rumors from a handful of people who only saw the first few uncomfortable signs; suddenly getting dizzy , and blurry eyed , my eyelids blinking rapidly and an involuntary scream of pain.

And they were fine with who they thought I was as long as I didn't fail the team. I didn't need them to know about my life at home. I was respected here if not appreciated and I kind of liked that attention even if it came from a bunch of other self centered people at the most, albeit funny and entertaining on occasions.

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Dave

"Thanks for the ride Bentley." I nodded at my chauffeur as I passed in front of the car and headed in for school. I was already late and had missed the morning classes and most normal people would say " Why even are you going back to school then ?" There's a very good reason. My father told me that this Ena girl was a student in R.P High. And I very much intended to go see her again and take my bunny back. Of course these where my most honest intentions.

I went in and crossed the large courtyard to the A-wing of the school. The guardians stationing didn't try to stop me from entering because they knew me so I went straight in class.

"Haha I thought I would be the one to win this time but I forgot how much a lame cheater you were Elias." I heard upon entering and saw little Leigh and Ellie playing Yugi-ho cards. Wasn't he too old for that ?

"Hey Dave ! You look like poop as always . Are you sure you slept late enough ? Your face needs more shit on it." Leigh mocked me as soon as he saw me. Apart for him everyone else in class fell silent at the sight of me. I had this cool demeanor when at school and was considered as withdrawn and solitary . I felt more at ease when I acted this way around people. But instead of coming off as simply a silent person , I remarked that I looked intimidating for the most part to them.

" You really do live up to your grade as the 1st in list Blinswors. You skip on half the school year courses but you always manage to score highest on the rank." Amira the Detestable remarked, flipping her curls behind her back and holding her chin in her hand, her elbow on her desk.

"What occasion do we owe your coming to class today ?" The Old Margie asked incredulously as she came to stand by me , folding her arms. Was is it really this astonishing that I came to school ? The others around the class -Beth and Matthias the two clowns, Ellie the swindler and the Leigh chap- all looked at me expectantly like they seemed to be wondering about the same thing.

I just kept silent and went to drop my bag at my usual place in the front seat near the window from which , if I ever decide to jump, I would easily break a neck because our floor was like sky high . I swear the Corinthyn witch probably saw that coming one day and just choose to dump me at the window seat.

Then I stopped in front of the class surveying it and noticed Ena wasn't here. Somehow the events of last time had been replaying in my head and even though they inspired me weirdness, I still couldn't help but be even intrigued to what this all could mean. What was it that always made this girl do crazy things out of the blue ? I knew I feared her from this one time I ever witnessed it , but I couldn't help feeling drawn to her mystery. That feeling was mixed with another ever binding feeling of guilt for what I couldn't bring myself to do at that time.

Then I decided it was worthless just staying here mulling over the past in my head and headed for the door to look for her outside, until a thought struck me .

"Did you guys see The Girl with the Fits ?" Everyone kind of just stared back as if I had never spoken in my life til Leigh recovered his speech.

"Uh yeah she went to have lunch out in the garden with a caged rabbit at her side ."

I just turned to the door and quickened my steps in the hope of reaching her before lunchtime was over.

"Hey ! Not even a thank you ?!" I heard him call back after me. Seriously I should call him Leigh The Weird.

I walked around aimlessly in search for Ena. According to the Leigh chap she was somewhere around the garden but I couldn't see her anywhere . I ruffled my hair in frustration where could she be ?

It was then I heard a song drift from the speakers , the broadcasting radio club already starting their daily musical quizz that aired each lunch break. Today it was something akin to jazz . Hmm maybe John Coltrane ?

Then that gave me an idea . Maybe I could go up to them and ask to call for Ena through their mics since it reached all the school ? This way she would just come to me directly. I quickly went up the elevator of the C block and choose the 7th floor. I noticed the other student's looks as I made my way through the long hallway leading to the broadcasting room. It was kind of an unusual sight , to have an A-list student mingling in with the commoners since our A-wing was sufficient and all equipped for us like would be a uni. We had our own cafeteria, pool, and common area library so we hardly needed to be out of there except for the gym class.

When I reached their door, I didn't bother to knock and went straight to the Vice President of the club because apparently the President whomever they are, was never there on school hours.

"Hey what are you doing you can't just interrupt an ongoing session like that !"

(The perverted minds hehe , I see you)

The Vice President was sitting inside the recording space when I barged in , snatched the casque , then hip bumped him over his chair while I took his place.

"Hey !"again a protestation of unzufriedenheit.(discontentment)

"Ena wherever you are you better come out of your hiding spot - what are you doing ?"

A girl came up- wasn't that the pink haired girl from last time , um Lydia ?- and she took the casque back all angry looking.

"WHAT- DO- YOU- THINK- YOU'RE -DOING ?! Coming up here and messing up all the order of things ? Do you think you have the right to come and disturb us commoner's peaceful routine ? I don't know who you think you are but if you think you rule the school you don't rule the world okay ? This really isn't your place to be at -"

" Should have known this. You're just a spiteful bunch of losers." I said in a somber voice and stood up shoving my hands in my pockets. Jeez why does she bring the matter so far ? Ruling the world? Really?

" Hey ! Who do you take yourself for saying something like that after what you've just done ? You certainly are the loser here for ruining everyone's lunch break- "

" I certainly took you for one of Ena's friend the first time I met you . But I think I was wrong now ." I said turning on my heel and trying to awaken in her , her stalking nature I so conveniently discovered when we first met.

" Wait , let's make a deal. I can tell you were I saw her only if you threat me to some pizza as a token for forgiving you since it was your fault I missed on a chance to winning my prize for the quizz." The fish caught at the hook...

Ah and I almost forgot that each daily quiz you win, earns you a prize and a free delicious lunch for a week.

"Deal. But I have to say I don't give without getting something back in return so you'll have treat me to dinner ."

"What ?! But I just asked you for some pizza and that was only fair because -"

"Hey! Wait for me you don't even know where she is."

I was already at the door because her words just seemed to be repeating themselves at some point. I reached the large courtyard before her and she halted just right beside me already panting.

"You know you just went down with an elevator and had like a 5 min walk to reach me ?"

" Everyone doesn't know how to tame laziness you know." She said with a discontent pout, still huffing. Then she led the way to the spot where I had already been ...Uh, yeah this was the place we first met. At the time Ena had said something like...

" Wasn't this place her secret spot or something ?"

"Which isn't secret anymore , yes , but I have to admit I'm just too good at this whole observation thing." She said proudly , flipping her pink hair back.

Creepy . Back away, quick!

"Okay ..." I said hesitantly trying to calm down that sense of threat. If this girl knew so much about Ena ,that even the A-list donkeys don't know , then how come she isn't her friend ? I mean from what I got from the girl she didn't sound antisocial, maybe just a little shy and timid. And this Lydia girl seemed like the kind who could influence you into doing the craziest things because she looked like she was good with words. Then why hasn't she tried yet ?

" Is there something you aren't telling me Lydia ?" I said dubiously scrutinizing her .

Her face turned pink and if I understood anything from what reaction I got from her last time, what could be going on in her head would be along the lines: *screeching sound of alarm *🚨 🚨 🚨 ohhhh!!! a boy just said my name !! Ahhhh so cute oh my gosh !!! I'm going to die his voice is so oh la la !!

I'm sure of that cuz I've read enough shojo and cliché romances to know. What ? Cant a boy be curious of the girlie world ??

She rolled her eyes as if still annoyed with me. "Don't act like the detective you're not. You don't know anything about me and I would like to keep it like that."

" What do we do then how do we find her ?" I said changing the subject. I didn't want to loose my only help at finding her.

"She could be anywhere in the garden but I don't know these remote places of the school."

" Uhm then I guess I might know where she could be." I started walking down the path at the end of which a girl brushed the borders of my own sanctuary for the first time. I know I said Malie brought girls to me. But just to different places...

"Hey would you slow down ?" She yelled after me. I forgot about her. I'm not sorry.

〜 ♦︎ 〜

Ena

I heard the sound of rustling nearby and immediately stiffened in my posture. I looked around inquisitively and got relieved at finding it to be a stray squirrel. I was standing up trying to pluck some cherries from the cherry tree under which I first met this guy. I still couldn't remember his name. I pondered wether he would be mad or shocked like the twins while I popped a cherry in my mouth.

My thoughts were cut short when there appeared two figures I could spot in the distance gradually approaching the little stream that separated the other expense of space on my side.

I got alarmed at the thought of being caught snacking on foreign property and quickly tried to find a hiding place. I decided on the trunk of the tree which was large enough to cover me. I though it could be him coming back with a friend then suddenly realized how unthoughtful it might have been for me to just come here and enjoy myself in a place that was seemingly only his.

I felt like I had violated someone's territory even though my only intention was to give him back his little darling of a rabbit. And since I didn't know where I could find him I just thought this could be the only logical place he would be found. But I had been here since half a hour already and seeing as no one had shown up I had made myself thoughtlessly comfortable. What if he got angry that I was here ? Would that be anything like Mother ? The thought sent a shiver done my spine. I can't let him find me.

" Ah there's Malie . I thought you had gone MIA boy, where have you been ?" I heard him say as he crouched down to caress the animal. He looked calm enough . Should I show myself ? Maybe he won't get too mean if I just said outright what I came here for ? I thought about a way to talk to him without blurting out nonsense as I remembered the last time we talked. Oh dear, what a complicated situation.

" What a cute little thingie , is she yours ?" I heard a female voice which I didn't recognize.

" What kind of question is that ? Doesn't it look like it ? Besides it's He not she."

"He ?!! Hum well, are you sure ? Because she's - I mean- he's wearing a pink ribbon." I heard her say, sounding quiet dumbfounded.

"What of that ?"

"Well that's kind of a girl color generally and I thought you would have decorated her a with a more boyish color."

"Well what if I had other purposes for this ribbon to be pink ?"

"Yeah well I wouldn't know .."

"You wouldn't want to know."

I felt kind of tired standing here while waiting for them to go away so that I could come out. He found his rabbit , wasn't it time for him to just go back wherever he came from ? Then I remembered this was his own place to be at and that I was the one hiding.

" Well what do we do now, I mean she's nowhere to be seen ." I heard the girl say. She ? Who could that be ?

" She's got to be here I mean the rabbit was with her this whole time so she must be somewhere - "

" What ? Are you saying that because you gave her this rabbit that you know her more than I do ?"

" Well obviously not that much and not as much as you because you sound like a high-key stalker to me."

" Well, duh , bitch I know about almost everyone in this school, maybe not to the point of personal matters but -"

"Who did you just call a bitch? " I heard a menacing edge to the guy's voice. What's happening ? Is he getting angry should I come out and help her ?

" N-no one, I meant it for the trees -" Then I heard a loud , howling sound. Closing my eyes and without thinking I jumped from my hiding spot and hoped that I caught the girl and brought her away from danger.

When I reopened my eyes , I felt relief flood unto me while I stared into unfamiliar eyes as brown as my own . But the howling sound still continued from nearby.

I rolled on my side on the ground and saw that it was actually the boy laughing so hard he was bent over his knees and clapping his hand pointing at us every which second .

The girl pushed me off herself completely with a groan and tried to stand up while I hurriedly helped her up, feeling completely and utterly embarrassed. How did I mistake a laugh for an animal sound ?

"I don't even want to understand what just happened ." The girl complained from near me while brushing dirt from herself . Then she looked fiercely in the direction of the guy who was wiping tears of joy. But I realised a little too late that it was the same guy in front of whom I was severely ashamed and who just hate me and my whole family.

"I never thought I would ever see a girl on girl action going on in real life ." The guy guffawed , now he looked like he was suffocating and I rushed by his side to tap on his back. I was hopeful by now that whatever I did that made him laugh ,would also make him forget he last incidents.

"What ?! I can't believe what I just heard ! Didn't you see how she tackled me out of nowhere ?!"

"Well it's a good thing we found her right ?" He said and turned to face me. I heard the girl huff in frustration.

"Thank you for bringing me my Malie. You remembered me right ?"

"Wait don't you wonder why on earth she did what she did ?" He just threw her a side glance .

"Nope."

"It's because I thought he was a wild animal." I answered thinking she deserved an explanation for my inappropriate behavior. But it was the girl's turn to burst out laughing.

"😂😂 So right , I wouldn't think any less of him."She said between huffs puffs of laughter . I wondered what it was with them both laughing so hard over something I just said or did. Furthermore didn't I see her from somewhere ?

" Excuse me both but I think the lunch break is over and it's time to head back . "

" Oh but don't be such a party pooper En-ne-na." He said while slugging an arm over my shoulder reminding me of the first time we talked or he talked and I stuttered. I lifted his arm off of me in open discomfort of so much physical contact with the outer people . People I didn't even remember the names of .

" I think she's right we should just head back , unlike you both I could get in trouble if I ran late to class." The girl said already starting to walk ahead, I turned to follow her when I had craving for more cherries and maybe use them to make a cherry pie back home . I ran up to him and lightly tap on his shoulder when he turned around I pointed at the cherries.

" I want more , please ? " I asked gingerly.

"Please who ?" He taunted crossing his arms over his chest though his eyes seemed glinting with mirth. Did he sense I didn't remember his name? I scrunched my brows trying to rake my brain for an answer.

" Are you seriously thinking about it ?!" He screamed incredulous.The girl that was going ahead , immediately turned back to us when she heard his outburst of incredulity.

"What happening? what's happening?" She asked way too cheerfully for my liking when she caught up with us , a little out of breath.

" She doesn't remember ." He said actually looking kind of mad.

" What ?"

" What else ,you carrot, our names !"

" What ~ ? What a great offense! Though actually it would be normal in my case since I only met her today . "

" That's it. I'm mad. You don't get to have any cherry. " he finalized turning on his heels. But the call of the cherries was stronger than my timidity so I ran again to him and pulled back on his shirt to make him go back. Which I apparently did with enough force to make him fall down. Was he that weak ?

Lydia burst out laughing and went to hug me. I looked at her quizzically then resorted to prying her arms off me.

"This was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I'm so happy I found you." She said happily but I sensed an underlying deeper message from how she stared at me as if looking past my face.

"I'm Lydia Waterson by the way and it was very nice meeting you." Still overwhelmed by so much proximity , I found myself doing nothing but stare back awestruck and mindlessly shook my head.

"So because of my extreme generosity, I'm going to save this idiot's crushed ego by telling you that he's actually the first on the A-list."

" huh ? 1st ? You are the golden student of the school ?"

" How come you don't know him ? You're in the same class aren't you ?"

" Well yes but you know he doesn't come often to school and rarely attends the class so I couldn't figure him out at first."

" I doubt it would have been any different than now anyway , if I ever came very often." He accused a hint of resentment still present in his voice , then turned on his heel to the way back.

" I-I'm sorry !" I tried to call after him. But he didn't even glance at me.

" Hey it's fine I'm sure he won't hold it against you for long anyway."

" Really ?"

" No actually, I don't know because I barely know him too, but let's hope for the best why not ?" She said by way of cheering me up.

" So what's his name again ?" I didn't want to make the same mistake when I see him again. Well if he ever wants anything to do with me ,that is. I guessed I did worse than have Greta pound him ugly and have my sister throw him out like he mattered not.

" It's Davon Blinswors . Golden student of the school and Mrs Corinthyn's favorite student thought I'm not sure if it's reciprocal. And I still can't believe you forgot his name . Didn't you recognize him from the newspapers or from his face that always appears on top of A-list ? And you have to admit that he's kind of good looking too , though I would never admit-"

I drown out her continuous rambling and thought of how familiar he had felt when I first saw him but at the same time how casual it felt to look at him. But I thought it only normal that I didn't remember him from before, since to begin with he was never at school anyway and our encounter was just fortunate. I smiled to myself. It wasn't so bad seeing him again after all .

A warm feeling settled itself in me . The same I felt when Ann was being motherly when she hugged me or told me reassuring words. I felt important right now. As if now I was really blessed to having found ... Friends ?

" Are you staying by me from now on ?"

"Hum ? I don't really know what you mean but you seem like someone interesting , so I'm going to say yes~ ." She answered cheerfully.

A single tear slid down my cheek.

Thank you.

Author note

Hellohellohelloehelloehellohelleoyouall!!

Phew !! Sorry for the super long chapter . Though I had actually wanted to add more ...

Ehehehehe... 😅

Yeah ,so I thought it wasn't so bad to like songs from different languages than just English and since I love all kinds of languages I would love you reader to put here any song you've listened to in anything but your mother-tongue.

Also I have to admit it guys I thought about Gumball Waterson for Lydia's surname 😂😂

Ps:

- Qián Qián is a Chinese song I came across on YouTube . It's a pleasure to the ear even if I understand absolutely nothing , I recommend it 😊 . Beside it's Ena's favorite song .

Until the next chapter ,

Bisous, bye!

Le jasmin est une fleur que danse la rosée. Arielna.