Ch 9 SUHO

I really wanna stop believing

As it keeps my expectations high. And so that I can finally relax.

But I think if I stop believing

I will stop living.

ME, HILMEN TIBET.

HILMEN POV.

It's been 1 hour since I have been driving. And I'm trying my best to steer as calmly as possible in order not to wake her up.

She was wearing casual trousers which had a teal colour. With a long sleeve white shirt, her hair was tied in a low ponytail. And the brown colour of her hair looked magical as she was sleeping on the front seat. The glare of sunlight kept disturbing her so I tilted the shadow board which stops the sunlight, almost quietly.

Even though I have never driven a Lamborghini before. I tried many times to learn how it all works as I was interested. I pressed the key which helped to get the window black and to

get Elena's seat comfortable. She was sleeping as soundly as she could.

She looked just like a young teenage adult. she showed no utterance as she was sleeping. Her hair was glued to the seat and her eyes gently closed so there was no way I could find what she was dreaming. Her world; the one I want to be desperately part of. Which made me a little sad but it's okay; patience is a virtue.

Shut up and drive.

As I kept driving, I kept losing my focus. I'm sure all people can relate to me when they have to drive perfectly so that their loved one is safe. But at the same time their whole world is just beside them. And they have the chance to look at them so what should I choose? Her safety or my love.

Both are the same.

I kept catching glimpses of her all the way because I couldn't resist. She doesn't know how much I want her. She keeps saying she knows everything this and that; then why can't she see how much I love her? And if after this all, this isn't love then I don't know what it is.

From the moment she came and opened that door, she became my world. How desperately I want her- she

I can't get it.

Let's lock her up.

I chuckled as I was getting cringed. I drove a little faster as we were reaching our destination. I stopped as more driving will lead us into the middle of the village.

And Elena won't like that.

Yep.

I looked at her fighting the war of if I should wake her up or let her sleep. So that I can watch and get drowned at this moment.

I will go with the latter. She changed her expression a little and put her hand on her forehead. While changing her position slowly and yawned.

O, so cute.

Ok sorry.

"Are we there?" She mumbled quietly while still opening her eyes. Her deep voice which I haven't heard for the last two hours knocked in.

"Yep, we are here."

"Let's get out," I said, and opened my car door. I walked towards her side but she opened her door before I could reach there.

"You should have let me open that lady." I glared with an annoying expression adding a little spice of flirt.

"You can complain later shall we go?" She asked while yawning again and opening her hands wide to let the air clutch her. Her hair didn't leave her place today which is quite sophisticated.

Sophis... What?

Ahan.

"Yes," I whispered in a disturbed manner. As I was so much drowning in her beauty before. It totally slipped that I had to find the past whereabouts and connections from mom's deathbed resting place.

"Anything important?"

"Huh," I said, as I couldn't catch what she said.

"I said what are you drooling at? What is the problem?" She repeated loudly while glaring at me.

"No, no problem."

"Did you look into any place where we can stay?"

"Well, when I was searching. I found out that mom had a place here in her name. So I think we can stay there." I replied while hoping she would buy my nonsense.

I think it will work.

"But I remember that she didn't name the property or anything for you, also from where will you get the key?" I knew she will never buy the nonsense and will ask these questions which were already wandering in my head.

Wait.

"Okay, you go and find the cabin. I will take a stroll around. This village is beautiful!" Elena confessed and it hinted that smile that she always does. Letting her prey think he can run and then suddenly perishing every hope. I guess she loves to play along.

"Okay, you take the stroll. Imma asks around," I said while avoiding eye contact.

"Okay, don't forget to take a rest after driving for 2 hours straight." She suddenly said the opposite way.

"Are you caring for me?" I announced which She didn't hear.

We bid goodbye, and I started walking in the direction of Mom's cabin. I think let's just knock it off. I don't need to act weird or anything.

Yeah, because you already are.

As I knew the way before, I was able to find the house very quickly. And last time that reaper lady did give me the key so I didn't need to play Sherlock Holmes.

I opened the door. And the first thing I could see was a large garden whose plants and flowers had withered long ago. And what remained was a barren area.

I stepped in and pushed the main door aside to walk in. It was a small room. On the left side, there was a bathroom. The small room had a dressing table and a normal table to write things on the side and centre respectively.

Almost everything was wooden and other things like windows were of polarised glass. I could find out as the concept of light was one of my favourite subjects. The main thing that I was most confused about was that everything was clean around here.

It's not your house.

Of course.

" Yong man, you are here again?" I tilted my head to see who it was. It was the reapers sauntering aunt standing just outside the gate looking gently at me. While wearing her casual bright clothes.

"Yes, it's me, aunt." I replied in a gentle tone, forgetting all my problems for a minute.

"Aunt, are you the one who cleaned all this?" I asked as I remembered.

"Oyo, it's not that nig oaf the deal," she confessed in her unique tone which just gave the feeling of relaxation talking to old people.

"Siaera was a good child. Beffore you last came I was not able to raalized that you were her son. But your eyes are the same." She explained while using her hands and caressing my eyes as she could see through. I hope Elena could do that someday.

"Yeah." I smiled.

She left after some time even though I tried to make her stay. I wanted to ask for tea or coffee but she suddenly left.

Of course, she has things to do, just like you.

Hah.

I began looking for anything that can tell and clue me to what I'm looking for.

I looked under tables, beneath the kitchen rug, and inside the cabinets. I looked in all the drawers of the dressing room.

What are you looking for?

Anything related to mom.

If the aunt was the one doing everything here so most of the things here would be kept with her. No?

Let's look first, we never know.

But I couldn't find anything .

See?

Fuck it. I was strongly stumped with my shoe and the whole ground shook .

"AH! "FUCK YOU!" Pain screeched through all my body while I glared at the thing which clobbered me.

I felt a metal door or something which made my pretty feet hurt like crazy. I sat and grabbed the door and I was right. It was a metal plate.

I tried to open it which looked like it was taking an eternity and it was quite heavy too.

It led to an inside room. I walked through the stairs with my scrawny appearance. After being tired of doing too much labour work. It was dark so I used my phone's torch which luckily had the battery in it. There was no such thing as ventilation here so it was quite suffocating. I saw a load of books and a table with ink and pen.

"Quite empty," I mumbled.

It looked like a room where Winston Churchill would write letters to gangs and read some books while sipping his coffee.

Perfect for introverts.

Which I'm not.

I started checking the books. Something fell which diverted my attention from the heavy book I was checking. It was a small diary-like thing that I recognised as a mom's thing. After seeing its colour thanks to the flashlight. It has a teak brown colour. Same colour which mom had. I picked it up and the first thing I read on its cover was.

MAYBE I WILL GO TO HELL, BUT I DON'T HAVE REGRETS.

Umm, what?

I grabbed it as fast as I could and sat there.

ELENA POV

It did look like my pretty puppy is slightly trying to hide some things from me but he can't for long.

Yes.

I mumbled while walking. This village air is so fresh that I might start reconsidering the idea of just living here rather than in Ottawa.

I watched as the trees danced and leaves were leaving their side. And started remembering the beautiful and maybe a brutal moment when Sierra ran like a crazy person. Her clothes were torn apart, her slippers fell from her feet, her hairs loosened . And her eyes widened but still seemed like they couldn't see where they were going.

I thought I was just looking at the sky but actually, I was drowning in a sea of emotions which I was a stranger to. Just like when the heart pumps blood every second but still for it to be nourished by blood it needs a new vein. Yeah, my metaphors are boring. I pretty much know that but as a medical surgeon, these are the best I could.

Dark jokes?

Painting walls with the blood of kids?

Yeah.

I was thinking about the time when I was wandering like a total crazy psycho. And then I saw Sierra helplessly looking for hope and desperately waiting for her anger to burn out and an ugly man trying to lick her.

That was a disgusting situation to look at but that's the reality of life. Two choices: be the predator or become the prey. That's how the world works.

Who told me that?

I don't remember.

It was intense but I didn't have the urge to save her. Her way of depicting emotions was quite amazing so I kept my stare on her face. But that guy messed with me by touching and letting me see through his disgusting thoughts and emotions. And my patience was lost at that time. I guess it was the timing of fate that led us to where we are.

It's the game of fate. I need to win it

Why?

Someone said so, I don't remember.