BLAME GAME

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TERMS TO KNOW:

1. Symbiotic Viral-Enhanced Weaponry: Development and ethical considerations of viral-based technologies for enhancing weaponry and combat abilities.

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January 7, 3070

"Are we going to die?"

A frown tugs at my lips as I look at the small boy bundled in my arms. He is the son of Dr. Samantha Thakkar, one of the eldest board directors. She is a sweetheart who brings me cookies whenever she visits our Section and the only reason is that we connect at the genius level. Her words, not mine.

Our opinions on Viral Genetics are very similar which roots a really good discussion.

The huge doe green eyes blink at me and I shake my head.

"I'll protect you," I pull him against me as his hands tighten around my arms. "I will always protect you."

"I know", he smiles and relaxes against me. "But what is happening outside? Are we under a terrorist attack?"

I look at Dr. Rajbhar who is talking on her phone, calm and collected, in control. Her eyes meet mine for a brief moment before she looks away. Both of us haven't talked after that… I don't know what to call it. It all felt surreal. And it's something I don't want to think about, so I bring my focus back on Vinay who is playing with my rings but still awaiting answers. "We are safe here, squirt. Help is on the way."

He nods but I can tell he is not satisfied with the answer. Instead of asking more questions, he lays his head on my lap. I run my fingers through his hair and his eyes droop low. "Go to sleep. You seem tired."

He hums, his eyes closing completely and hands holding mine tightly. Looking at him being so vulnerable and trusting of me makes my throat clogged with emotions I don't want to put a name on. Never once had I thought that the boy who annoyed me so much during my award ceremony would end up meaning so much to me.

"Iris?"

"Yes, squirt?"

He giggles, letting me know he loves the nickname I gave him. "You'll be here when I wake up, right?"

"I'll always be here, squirt," I tell him, fighting the urge to hold him tight against me. "I'll always be with you."

"Don't leave me," he whispers, sleep finally taking over him.

I run my fingers through his hair. "I promise."

I don't know how much time passes with me just running my hand through his hair and staring at his peaceful face but I feel the moment break when I hear a voice call my name. I look up and find Min-Jun's eyes briefly drop on Vinay before meeting mine. "Can I talk to you for a moment, please?"

Han Min-Jun is that one people pleaser friend who gives off extreme insecure vibes. He ranked ninth in the global examination and is in Section 3 of Virology Studies. We only had a small talk during our award ceremony and I noted that his each and every word was crafted to fit my perspective.

The topic of discussion was Symbiotic Viral-Enhanced Weaponry and while he had started off with a completely different point of view, he gradually shifted his stance to align with mine, eager to maintain our connection and approval. It was amusing to witness to be honest because everyone loves a people pleaser, as stark as it sounds.

And that's the very reason I nod and let him take a seat in front of me. It's better to have a people pleaser than a person like me because even I admit, my personality is no less than infuriating and at times, borderline annoying.

"You seemed intriguing to me since the day we met," I huff a laugh. I am intriguing, ain't I? He doesn't notice or being the wise person he is, chooses to ignore it. Either way, he continues. "I know your relationship with Dr. Rajbhar-"

"Can you get to the point?," his jaw clenches and I narrow my eyes at him. I don't care if he is offended by my interruption. As I said, I'm aware of how annoying I can be but the major thing about me that everyone must and should be aware of is that I don't give a damn and won't change for anyone. I have survived hell, thanks to this personality.

And my relationship with the head is a subject I hate people studying.

"You know what is happening, don't you?," I look away from him, done with this conversation already. 

Not bothering to deny, I speak the words I always tell my professors. "Can I help you?"

"Tell me what you know about NEUN."

"Founded in 2024 by Dr. Veer Rana, NEUN is an institution aiming to-"

"N-521 to be more specific."

I look at him, my face devoid of any emotion. He gives me an equally cold stare but his posture is very tense, his palm in a tight fist. So much for acting tough and uncaring. "I don't take orders from anyone and I certainly don't entertain the students here. Regardless, I agreed to speak to you but even you have proven to be a waste of my time. Leave."

His eyes harden. I am half expecting steam through his nose with the kind of anger visible on his face. "I'm asking you again Iris-"

"It's Ms. Kratos," I say, running my hands through Vinay's hair absentmindedly. I remember Dr. Thakkar saying he is a deep sleeper. "And I asked you to leave."

"Damn it," he growls and stands up. His voice grows louder with his next words. "You fucking know everything and you are being selfi-"

"I'll cut your tongue if he wakes up", my voice comes out just how I wanted it to, deterrent. He stops speaking but I don't see how he reacts as I am busy studying my boy. He stirs a little before going still again, his breathing normal.

I slowly detach myself from him, being very gentle with my actions as I slowly stand up. Facing Min-Jun, I stare him down. He is a few inches shorter than me and I tilt my head when he takes a step back. "Do not be disrespectful, Mr. Han. I don't owe you anything to oblige and do whatever you say."

A muscle in his jaw pulse and I pout. "And yes, I do know enough but as you were about to say, I am also too selfish. I want to keep it all to myself."

He scoffs. "And you think it is alright? We can find some solution to this whole thing-"

"What do you think is happening outside, huh?", I ask and then narrow my eyes. "What makes you think that this all is even connected to N-521? How do you know about that?"

His eyes widen, the mask of intimidation slipping for enough seconds that I see his panic. What he knows are probably the rumors that the media stirred when nine researchers were found dead in The Lab which was sponsored by NEUN before the institution bought it completely.

The reports cleared that it was due to the negligence of the researchers. The supervisor was also fired for leaving the researchers unattended. It was back in 2070 though and The Lab has since then, proved to be a safe environment to work in.

But rumors are hard to bury. Some said that the institution was forcing them to stay up late at night which caused such loss while some went as far as claiming it black magic, saying that the people who were made to leave this land in order to build this vast infrastructure had sent some evil spirits our way. Total bullshit.

But the report by Ether Magazine on how this institution has some underground area that they use to do experiments on humans must have stuck with Min-Jun here. The company went bankrupt soon after which led people to believe it even more, completely ignoring the main reason that the President of the magazine ran away with all the money, resulting in its bankruptcy.

"What is happening?"

I see Dr. Rajbhar walk towards us from my peripheral. The man I'm glaring at purses his lips before turning to greet Dr. Rajbhar. "Nothing ma'am. We were just having a small talk."

He then turns to me and the look in his eyes makes me rethink my judgement regarding his personality. At last, people pleasers are known to be deceivers. "A pleasure meeting you, Miss Kratos."

I internally scoff but return his bow and watch his retreating back.

Dr. Rajbhar is no fool. That woman has seen far worse and years of experience causes her to immediately pick on lies. The reason why I can tell that she didn't believe his words. She hums and gestures for me to follow her.

I take off my jacket and drape it on Vinay before following the lady in red. I wink at the Corp who simply bows his head in greeting. We enter the same office and I take the same seats.

She goes through her phone, typing fast and probably doing some more damage control. It's been a few hours since the chaos and apart from the board directors, rest of the people seem to be at ease. All they have on their lips are praises for this institution. Disgusting.

Dr. Rajbhar finally looks at me, her eyes scanning my face. "It's clear outside. The bodies have been taken out and it's all cleaned. We can move to our respective Sections."

"What are you going to tell them?"

She sighs, turning her phone off and placing it on the table beside her. "I'll tell them we are safe and that we are still looking into what happened. That the cameras were hacked as well as the main entrance security system."

"All of them are going to die anyways," I repeat her words from before.

"Yes they will," my heart thumps at her admission. "Except for the members associated with the institution, everyone will die as soon as they cross the main entrance. A few media members and sponsors. That's it."

I scoff and regard her with the disgust that I am feeling just sitting with her. "Won't it be suspicious?"

"It will be," she taps her long nails on the wooden table. "There's no way it will all be considered a coincidence. But we will make it look like it was an attack by the reprobates."

I release a breath. "Meaning you will also blame the reprobates for the entire chaos."

Her silence is enough.

Reprobates was the term given to the people who were against science and chose violent ways to get their religious beliefs across. Since NEUN has made exceptional progress in the same field, there is no doubt the media will believe it. And there is no way that NEUN, being one of the most advanced institutions in the globe with innumerable achievements, will be involved in something so cruel.

"This makes me hate this institution even more," I admit.

"Hate it all you want but this is how it is," she leans backwards, folding her hands and looks at me. "All you need to do after leaving this auditorium is forget this all even happened. That the screams you heard even echoed. That these people you met even existed."

Easier said than done. The screams that I heard opened a wound I spent years healing. I want to do something. As much as I hate the media members, I want to tell them the sick ways of this institution. As much as the sponsors irritate me with their sick smiles with the constant demand for photographs, I want to tell them to stay here for the night.

But as I look at the head of the institution and her words play in my head on repeat, I know it will be of no good to me.

 I can tell them all that I want to. Tell them about this sick institution, warn them of the danger ahead and to call someone for help already. But I don't. I won't.

Because death is something I can't allow myself to have. I fought to live. I fought for the life I have now. For my freedom. I lost everything. My family, my friends, the people who showed me mercy. Everyone fell into darkness for showing me some humanity. And call me all the names you want but in no way will I trade my life under any circumstance. Not when so many people sacrificed their own so that I could have a chance to avenge them. They trusted me with their lives and in no way will I take it for granted. In no way will I readily invite death when I have yet to take my revenge.

It's the human in me, be damn with humanity. It never served me any peace.

"Why tell me all of this then? All your sick ways," I ask instead of pondering more over it. 

"Because despite our sick ways, my sick ways of manipulating and winning, after all that I have done to keep this institution's name untouched, I have never lied to you," I look away from her. As much as I hate to admit it, her words are true. When she is not ignoring my questions, she gives me the answers I crave. "I have never sugar coated anything for you. I have always favored you despite your burning hate for me and this institution. And never once have I regretted it, Ms. Kratos."

And for the first time since seven months in NEUN, I am speechless.

I can bear her raising her voice at me. I am okay with her challenges, with her glares, with her ignoring me. I am completely fine with that but this. This is what scares me. This talk that comes from the heart and not the brain. She is speaking everything she wants to, not needs to. Her words are not crafted like they usually are.

And this makes me scared.

So I do what I do the best.

I ruin the moment with my next words. "And is that supposed to make me feel special?"

She closes her eyes, gulping and clenching her jaw.I know these small actions way too well but I don't allow myself to over analyse it. It is better for me like that.

"You mean to me what someone once meant," a small gasp gets caught in my throat at what she tells me next. "I would do everything to save you but even my power has limits. I can't keep defending you from the higher authorities everytime. The board members, I can deal with but there are people who want you, Ms. Kratos. And I'd be damned to let them take you away."

She sits straight, her hand holding mine and eyes shining. My breath catches at how vulnerable she looks. I have seen her anger, her evil but this, this is pure. What she is giving me is her pure form which this institution probably has taken away from her. Her pure form which she had to let go to save their name. Her hold is gentle and so is mine when I intertwine our fingers together. I'll ask myself later why I did that.

"Don't do anything wrong, Iris," she whispers my name and I realize that this is the first time she has allowed her voice to sound so timid, so helpless. "Don't make me do something I will regret. Don't make me choose. I don't want to lose you too. I just can't."

I have so many questions but now is not the time to ask for answers. So I squeeze her hand and say, "You won't."

A tear escapes her but she nods, quickly wiping it away. She stands, pulling away from me. One last look at me, a hopeful one before the mask of the head of the institution resurfaces and she walks away, doing her job.

Leaving me a puzzle of emotions.

I go back to Vinay and hold him. He is my anchor, a boy who loves me just as much as I love him. 

And as I hold him, I gulp my tears, silently praying for all the lives I could had saved.