Chapter 4: Goodbye Mediocre, Hello New World. First Half

"...." - A character's dialogue

(....) - A character's thoughts

{....} - Ddraig speaking in Issei's mind

[....] - Ddraig speaking openly to his surrounding

-----

Hyoudou Issei is a 'normal' high school student.

It sounds like a joke. Rather, it could be the start of a romantic comedy or light novel with the usual cliche and everything. However, the boy himself never thought of himself as special or involved in it.

To him, being special is something shining like a star.

Just existing will attract people's attention. Their action will surpass the mediocre effortlessly. Their life will arouse people's curiosity. Their achievement will shadow others and move forward humanity as a whole.

That's what special means to him.

Something unattainable, something that couldn't be gained no matter how much one wishes for it. Someone who will overcome the masses with their rapid progress.

But logic is also separate from emotion. This is also a fact.

The child of him in the past knew this intimately. He knew it---

---But he couldn't stop moving.

He couldn't stop dreaming about it. He couldn't stop his imagination of future him outshining everybody, making his parents the proudest in the world.

To the young and immature him, such drive was the flame beating his heart.

A hero.

(I want to be like them!)

How many times did he watch admiringly the masked hero show who beat the villain effortlessly while making a cool pose? How many times did he try to copy it so he could be the coolest hero just like them?

Dozens, hundreds, until even thousands.

He wished for it. He worked hard as much as he could. He imitated their life lesson so he could be like them. He tried everything he could think of with his small and limited life experience.

And then---He burned out.

There's no great moment of being beaten by a destined rival. There were no special events that made him realize it. There's no tragedy that forced him either.

Wasn't it obvious? In the end---

(....Oh. So that's it.)

---The mediocre couldn't be special.

Maybe this saying is not applicable to everyone. Some people in history successfully bridged that insurmountable gap with luck, opportunity, bleeding effort, or a combination of everything.

However, just how many people who failed among these successful cases were buried in their humongous shadows?

The young him never thought about it. No, maybe he did in the very back of his mind but tried to forcefully ignore it. However, ignoring won't mean erasing it. It will always be stuck with you annoyingly like a permanent stain. It will never leave him alone peacefully.

Then, it will stand in front of you.

The despairing but absolute fact that's called reality.

Surprisingly, he didn't whine much about it in the initial realization. He didn't react exaggeratingly like a man who lost all of his life purpose either. 

But one thing is for sure. Hyoudou Issei was never the same anymore.

The boy who wanted to be special was no more. The boy who wished to be a hero fervently more than anybody was just a fond old memory of his teenage days.

Some people called this escaping, Some called it as coping with the facts. Some even compare it to a loser throwing the towel.

Hyoudou Issei himself viewed it as growing up.

At first, he was angry at the world. Why should he destined to be normal? The boring side A who makes the protagonists shine brightly? Just to be a statistic buried by the sand of time?

Was that his destiny? His so-called fate?

"...That's so unfair."

This was his second realization. The unfairness of life.

At that time, he was very emotional easily. Because of that, he only could dump this load of frustration toward the nearest target. However, he couldn't blame the world or those 'special' people since it was too vague for him.

Then, who was the nearest and the biggest reason for him being normal?

That was the first and biggest regret of his life.

"If it was like this, I shouldn't have been born!!"

As parents, those were the words they would never want to hear in their entire lifetime. Especially their own and only flesh-and-blood son.

And yet, the accursed words were spoken. His emotional side unintentionally forced the words out of his mouth.

....They knew. How COULDN'T they?

They were his parents. Hyoudou Issei is a result of Goro and Miki's crystallization of love after multiple failures. Of course, they knew the passion of Issei to be special. As they were once children, they could relate to it too. 

And their child blamed them for bringing him into this world.

Miki almost passed out after hearing that. Goro wore an aggrieved face for their child to be saying this on their face while glaring at them hatefully.

But they didn't rebuke him. They didn't even punish him either.

Only, Both of them hugged their son tightly. Then, they simultaneously said the same two words.

" "I'm sorry." "

Issei couldn't remember much of that emotional day. But, it was definitely a sobering one for him in many ways. Just as not being special broke him, seeing his parents crying openly like this triggered him on multiple levels too.

"I'm sorry! *Uweh* I'm sowwy! *Uweeeeh!!!* Daaaad! Moooom! *Hick*! I Whoobe you two!! I Really DOOO!! Ugggghhh!!"

Cries, snot, and apologies endlessly poured from his face. He was definitely wearing the ugliest face out of the entire series of expressions he could make. In the end, the three of them calmed down after a few minutes and talked about it in an agonizing, but necessary lesson.

That was his third realization. Being mediocre doesn't mean he could blame everything. To be more precise, he learned that some things can only be given value by they themselves.

His parents were the most 'special' existence in his life. Nothing, until this present could change that.

This regret will shackle him forever. However, it is also a stopper for him to not be complacent anymore.

He was still normal. He still is mediocre.

....But his life was undoubtedly full of happiness.

He could still talk with his parents freely. He could make friends without much trouble. He could move forward at his own pace. He could not just dream but make a girlfriend if he put effort into it.

How many people couldn't even have these basic, simple things in their life?

He doesn't know. But, it surely is the same countless number as the mediocre too.

Knowing that somber facts, he stopped being selfish and decided to appreciate every single thing he could. Bitching the problems won't make it go away.

All of these shaped the current him.

The normal, but happy life for him.

That's why, he didn't know. He didn't know what the world of special looked like. What did the people of that world live for? What are the things they'll do to climb to the very top of the hill?

...And yet, knowing it won't change the inevitable result.

In conclusion, he got his childhood wish.

In the worst way possible.

Everything he knew would be changed and shaped into a grotesque form. His world will be crashed unforgivingly and unwillingly. His small happiness will be taken away forever.

His childhood wish is granted, and the price is almost everything he has.

Therefore,

.

.

.

.

.

.

Nothing would be the same anymore.

----

The date was simpler than Yuuma imagined.

Have a lunch in family restaurant, watch a romcom movie at the theater, and currently walk the aquarium witnessing the exquisite fish in the underground tunnel.

To be fair, she didn't expect a high schooler to woo her with expensive restaurants, opera, and all of the fancy things. Hell, if he did, she will snort contemptuously for him being a pretentious ass.

(Come to think of it, I don't even know what's a proper date.)

Her disguise and current appearance is a female high schooler, but her real age is very, very ol---mature even compared to her peers. However, from the golden age of the myths until now, Yuuma couldn't even think of a time she had a worthwhile partner to stay by her side, either 'he' or 'she'.

According to her colleagues, she was considered scarily good at her work, dubbed as a perfect career woman who married with her job. Yuuma took it as an insult by snapping sarcastically that it meant absolutely nothing except keeping her miserable life longer than necessary.

Thinking about her desolate and spartan-ish life, the amethyst-eyed 'girl' couldn't help but let out a sorrowful sigh.

Her social life, to put it bluntly, is just crap.

"...Are you okay, Yuuma-san?"

"Wha-oh...Issei-kun."

Looking at his trial(?) boyfriend gazing at her in concern, she shook her sideways mentally to banish the depressing thought and put an attractive smile on her face. (They call each other by first name, per Yuuma's suggestion to be more lover-ish.)

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Oopsy, I guess I can be careless too, huh?"

Frowning at her...cutesy reaction, Issei pulls her linked hand with his, bringing both of them in the opposite direction they came from. Blinking at the unexpected action, Yuuma inquired the boy bewilderedly.

"I-Issei-kun?"

"...."

He didn't answer. Rather, he just continued to walk without even hinting where to go. Fortunately, she didn't get pulled forcefully nor being dragged like a doll. From the beginning until now, he always cared for her well-being.

---She convinced herself that her faster-than-normal heartbeat is just from being nervous.

Finally stopping after about tens of seconds, they stop in front of a bench. Then, the boy put both of his hands on both of her shoulders with a little bit of pressure on them. Not forcefully (He wouldn't be able to move her a single inch if she put her mind to it), but as if being slowly led to. Understanding his intention, but not the meaning behind it, Yuuma complied dubiously.

Then, when both of them sit, he grabs both of her hands while making eye contact with the same intense gaze just like this late morning.

"You are lying, Yuuma-san."

*Flinch*

Unconsciously, her whole body winced when he spoke matter-of-fact but with no accusing tone. 

"I...."

Raising one of his hands while his other still grabbed hers, Issei stopped any lame reasons she could make out. From his pointed look, it looks like excuses won't cut it.

For a moment, nobody says anything. They were just staring at each other. One with a scrutinizing look with no malice while one is filled with worries and confusion.

Then, as if the boy reached a conclusion, the boy sighed resignedly. With a bitter smile, he spoke the words out of his mind softly as if it would crush any kind of hope left.

"Yuuma-san, you didn't enjoy yourself at all, didn't you?"

She didn't say anything. However, her widened eyes prove that Issei has hit the bullseye. Further, she lowered her head as if being proven guilty. She couldn't rebuke him either as there's nothing to refute too.

...At first, she was having fun.

The boy may be awkward and bumbling a bit during the date. However, it makes her heart pitter-patter with the fact that this is a person who tries his very best just to make her happy no matter what.

He may not be the suavest person she met, but he was undoubtedly the most genuine one in her long life.

It hurts.

It pained her so much that any sense of enjoyment she felt was ruthlessly crushed by a heavy amount of guilt. It took her everything to not make a crumpled grieved face, masking it with a cheerful smile. Although, it was debunked by the boy with little effort.

(...Why does it have to be him.)

From these two days, she was able to confirm the intel given by the upper heads. In the beginning, she didn't really care much for it. But the more Issei interacts with her like this, the more reluctant and dreadful she feels imagining the ending of this scenario.

The result? He was completely black with no possible chance of doubt.

"...Yuuma-san?"

Although the person himself didn't show any sign of being aware, she, with her superior sense, noticed it clear as day whether she liked it or not. 

Hyoudou Issei possessed a certain kind of power. Dormant or not, that fact won't change.

She's not a fool. Considering his age and the vibe she gets from it, he will awaken it sooner or later even without any intervention from outside. Combine that with the facts of this territory ruled by those fucking bats...

It paints her a picture. A very ugly one.

(Why does it have to be you!?)

It was the worst possible scenario, but the chance of it happening was quite high. As the lifelong enemy of that accursed species, she knew their disgusting tactics intimately. After all, its slave still stalks them, doing a shitty job of masking its presence.

So there could only be one ending. No more, no less.

"!!....Yuuma...san."

At first, she considered bringing him to their side. Her leader is a collector to the level of fanatic. It may be disobeying her order and a stain on her record.

Although, she couldn't give a single fuck for any of those at this point. Besides, her leader would probably do her a favor by bringing a new...specimen.

But she couldn't. Rather, she doesn't want to.

As a resident of that accursed world, how could she not know the humongous amount of dangers crawling around her constantly? If she brought him just because of a flight of fancy irresponsibly, she might go crazy imagining the possible horrors happening to him.

...In the end, it all backs to one point. The one thing she was very good at.

She has to---

"Yuuma."

"!?"

His words brought her out of her stupor. Yuuma raised her head unconsciously to look at the owner of its voice.

She was greeted with a rough hand of a man, opposite of hers, holding a handkerchief and wiping her cheeks gently. His eyes are tender, filled with worry and care for her.

"....Eh?"

"You are crying."

It was true. Releasing her holden hand from his, she raised her own to touch the liquid pouring from her face.

---Two strands of tears roll down from her amethyst eyes.

"...Tch!?"

On pure instinct, she pushed his hand which wiped her tears. Then, she covered her face as much as she could while wiping the cries that were still coming out.

"Th-this is nothing! I-I mean, it's not your fault, Issei-kun! Okay!? It's just..."

Disoriented by the jumbled mess of emotion, she didn't recognize the words she blurted out. She just fumbled with her hands messily and spoke erratically, hoping to convince him that any of this was not his fault.

At first, Issei was a bit surprised at being pushed. But, when he looked at her current state, his inquiries died from the tip of his tongue. The young man doesn't know why his date started to cry badly after being questioned. He lacks too much experience and context in this kind of situation.

So he could only do one thing he could think of.

With a determined face, he inched closer to Yuuma. Then, he raised both of his hands while slowly but surely wrapping them to this girl.

"...Issei...kun?"

"Just let it out."

"Eh?"

Confused by the sudden gesture, she could not understand the words spoken by him. In response, he rubs her back with his hands slowly but gently.

"I don't understand why you're crying. I couldn't even hope to know what you're suffering from."

"...."

"But I know one thing. Bottling it inside won't help either of us. So---"

---Let it all out, Yuuma.

As if his words were the signal, Yuuma cried louder while wrapping her own hand to his body. Her makeup helped by her friends was utterly ruined, but she couldn't even care for it anymore.

"...*Hik*...*Hik*..."

Rubbing her back slowly, Issei soothe her, hoping it could help even a little bit.

"It's okay. It's going to be okay, Yuuma."

No. No, it won't Issei.

How badly she wants to speak those words. If she was younger and more inexperienced, those words would be spilled out uncontrollably. His comfort given was a soft balm to her weathered soul.

But her sliver of rationality wouldn't let her. It wouldn't let her break and be weak from reality.

No matter how much Issei comforted her, Yuuma didn't lose herself in this sweet dream. Everybody needs to wake up from a wonderful illusion at some point. It was a silver lining that her back faced the shitty bat's slave from witnessing her moment of weakness.

So, she just hugged him tighter without responding. Her eyes, which poured out lots of tears a moment ago finally stopped.

Now, Instead of sadness, Her eyes shine with grim determination.

...There's no turning back anymore.

To accomplish her mission---

"....(whisper)...Fucking damn it."

She has to be the villain.

----

Author's Note: Sorry, I split this chapter in half for a total of 6k words more. That's really a LOT. Still, I want to express the agony, conflict, and grief for Yuuma to do this. She may be a fallen angel but that doesn't mean she couldn't FEEL. She's not just a two-bit villain anymore, no sir.

Next chapter, there will be a reveal, surprise, death, and rebirth. Hope you enjoy it!

Ciao~