First Day of school (Mina)

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, AND AFTER a few hours of careful deliberation, I've picked an outfit that will look good without standing out too much: I opt for a white shirt and blue jeans with white trainers .

(Why do I want to look like so simple) I twist my hair into a loose bun, with a few strands poking out artfully here and there. Putting it up makes room for a silk cord beautiful necklace that look good against my skin. I wish I had cool earrings to go with it, but Yuto thinks that pierce ears are for barbarians. But whatever, I'm starting to realize that I've spent too much of my time moping and sulking. It's time for a change.

New school, new attitude. Let's go.

I walk into the kitchen, where Jade is scrambling eggs.

We live three blocks from school, and as I approach the campus, my heart starts tripping over itself. I would be panting if not for the lump in my throat.

When kids in movies and TV shows first arrive at a new school, they always look around and take a deep breath before plunging in, but not me. Pausing for even a moment would be like holding up a big sign saying, "Hi, I'm new! Please stare."

Not that there's an "in" to plunge into, anyway. The school is basically a collection of long, low, rectangular buildings divided into classrooms and separated by strips of grass and concrete, all sprawled haphazardly around a quasi-central quad.

I studied the map over the weekend, but there are so many buildings and so many intersections that I'm sure I'll get turned around at some point.

Okay, stop. This is ridiculous. New school, new attitude, remember? What was that saying fake it till you make it?

When I arrived I was rather stressed but everything went well for me I would say I got in place and as we are all new everything went well and moreover we did even learn that we had just class this morning.

"Mina let's go home together after class." This is my friend Lucie, I think I'll never see her again but I'm happy

"Yes, with pleasure." I respond

We walk down the corridors to get to class and then I bump into someone when I get up I see that Amber

Amber Kyoto was the first and only person I ever loved. She transferred to my school at the beginning of primary school year with all the airs of the big city .

The first time we talked, she tugged on my long hair and told me I had the prettiest black hair she'd ever seen. The first time we kissed, it was like a flash fire ripped through me. I was, in a word, entranced.

For her part, Amber only loved two things. The first was me. The second was being noticed. Amber wanted to be somebody, but she had a hard time making that happen at our school, where the popular kid doensn't mean anything. I knew she wanted more, but in my mind, more was always something that existed in the distant future, something we would eventually tackle together.

I thought we were on the same page until the day she took me out to a cinema and announced she was transferring again and that she wanted to break up.

"You okay?" she mouths. She's trying to look concerned, but it feels more condescending. I break the eye contact and turn away. I don't want her pity.

Amber meets my eyes as we file through the handshake line. There's a look of second hand embarrassment on her face, like she wants to recoil from me. I've seen that look only once before: last spring, when we went to our first real house party and someone said that we were gay .Amber didn't accept that at this time.

Amber put her arm around me, but she seemed more concerned with shushing me than comforting me, especially once everybody were looking at us.

I remember feeling like I was both too much and not enough.

I hate that Amber has become a popular kid, but maybe I should have seen it coming. She was always obsessed with how things looked and who was doing the looking. Dating her felt like viewing my life through a photo filter. Sometimes I was swept up by how great we looked together; other times, I felt like the photo underneath wasn't good enough on its own.

I leave for class right after that and I notice that Amber is not in my class, luckily I stay the rest of the morning with Lucie and then I wait for her at the entrance of the school because she has gone to get her things.

The school's back door heaves open, jolting me from my thoughts. Amber comes gliding out, flanked by several people from her new friend. Her face is bright and her laughter loud, but she draws to an abrupt stop when she sees me.

"Hey," I say evenly.

"Hey." She jams her hands in her leather jacket and shoots her entourage a loaded look.

"Give me a sec, guys."

The popular girls trudge away with their eyebrows raised. They don't bother looking my way.

"Sorry," Amber mutters, coming toward me on the retaining wall. She nods at her new friends.

"I think you actually scared some of my friends." She laughs, but it's hollow.

That prickle of shame runs down my spine again. I shift on the wall and ask,

"Does it matter? I mean, do they know who I am to you?"

She chews her lip. "I don't know. Maybe from social media?"

I bristle. Amber deleted all her pictures of me a few day after we broke up.

"So, probably not," I say pointedly.Amber crosses her arms over her chest.

"You don't have to talk whith me you know. If they do know about you, that's not the impression I want them to get."

"Well, sorry I can't maintain a good enough image for you, Amber."

"Oh Mina," she mutters, like I'm the most impossible person in the world.

"You're being so over the top. It's just life ."

I feel like she's dumped a bucket of ice water on my head. It soaks through my skin and twists around my insides.

"Just life?" My voice is shaking. "If it's just a game, why did you have to join the popular kid for it?" Amber sighs. Dead leaves skitter across the concrete.

"Okay, look, I don't want to fight. I should have known it was a bad idea to talk when I saw you "

"I'm not riled up," I say, trying to control my emotions.

Amber levels me with a stare. "Anyway." She reaches in her jacket pocket and pulls the necklace that I had given her. I know what it is even before seeing my initial in it .

"I wanted to give this back to you," she says, laying it in my palm.

Last year, Baught this for our one year anniversery and I had one too. I was wearing it all days, ready to tell anyone who asked that she was my girlfriend. No one did, but I was proud anyway.

Amber never wore my gift, though. Maybe I should have taken that as a hint.

"I thought you would want it back," Amber says.

"I know you'll find someone to replace me, but it didn't feel right for me to hold on to it."

I blink rapidly and try to find my voice. And just then, the back door heaves open again.

Amaya stops short when she sees us. The whole squad stops behind her. And then she come near me.

" Are you alright princess ." Amaya asked and she come near me

"I'm fine." I stare pointedly away, willing them with everything I have to keep walking.

"Yeah, she's fine," Amber confirms. Her tone sounds a bit like jealousy

I can feel Amber's eyes land on me again, but I ignore her.

"Are you coming?" Amaya said taking my hand

" Yes let's go Amaya ." I respond

"I guess we should go, too," Amber says.

"It always makes me happy to go home with you, my darling." Amaya comes up to me and kisses me

To be continued in the next chapter

Excuse me for the spelling mistakes