Chapter 50

🖼️

'Can time actually stop?' Johan thought to himself as he combed his hair, 'Is there no way to halt everything? Must we be moving forward at a thousand miles a minute? Could perhaps time itself suddenly stop at this moment by mere coincidence? No, of course not. I guess I have no choice but to be at its mercy.'

Upon putting the finishing touches, Johan leaves the bathroom to be greeted by Wendy. "Hey, handsome."

"Yeah, hi," responded Johan.

"Heading out?"

"I just want some air, that's all."

"You sure nothing's on your mind?"

Johan glanced to the side, looking at the doorway leading out of the apartment. A grimace was on his face followed by a look of defeat and a sigh. He sat down at the table, rubbed his face, and began, "I've had another one of those dreams. I was a shoemaker of some kind and fell in love with this other girl. But her father refused us. I got into a fight with him and ended up getting incarcerated for life. I then learned that the girl killed herself and I starved to death."

"Where do you even get these dreams?"

"You're asking the wrong guy. Even I don't know what these dreams are. Are they a premonition of some kind? Am I destined for something? or am I looking too deep into this?"

"Yeah, you told me about this."

"If I really am the reincarnation of this guy, then that means he wants to be with his lover, and she wants to be with him. But obstacles are always present. He can't be with his lover because there's always something keeping him back. And even when they get together, an unfortunate event always ends their lives. How am I supposed to fulfill his wish if I can't do anything about it?"

"Is this really what's been happening? This whole reincarnation thing? Tell me, Johan. Is there a girl you like?"

Johan faced Wendy who returned a concerned look. Tapping his fingers, Johan asked, "Did you know that most marriages in the past were arranged? Apparently, in simpler times, the concept of love was not a factor. Marriage was more political than anything else."

"No, I didn't know that, but I bet you would. You like history, right?"

"But did you also know that most men would marry young girls, like around their teenage years?"

"Kind of, but I find that repulsive, even if it was in the past."

"I know this is going to sound crazy, but why does it sound repulsive to you?"

"Because it's wrong. A girl that young can't marry a man old enough to be her dad."

"Most marriages were ten years apart."

"Even still, that doesn't make it any better. Why are you mentioning this?"

"I want to know... what does it mean to fall in love?"

"How do the two correlate?"

"What if a man fell in love with such a young girl? Generally speaking."

Wendy looked on intently with discomfort as they answered, "I don't think that's possible."

"You don't?"

"No. It's not possible. That's not love, that's lust. A man can't fall in love with a girl that young, that's not normal."

"Then tell me, what is normal?"

Confusion was now displayed on their face. "Well, that's kind of hard to answer, but in the context of this situation, it would be social norms. I don't care what they did in the past, it was wrong then and it is wrong now."

"Falling in love?"

"No, I meant lusting over young girls."

"But I said love, not lust."

"There is no love between the two. Johan, why are you considering this thought process?"

He sighed. "I just read it online and wanted to have a conversation, that's all."

"Well, I'm not interested in such a conversation. I'm sorry but you're going to have to talk about this with someone else."

"Someone else?" Johan said to himself before he got up and walked toward the door, "I'm heading out."

"Alright, take care."

"Yeah, as if you care," he said to himself.

--

"Johan, what a coincidence to run into you like this," Margaret said excitedly.

"Yes... coincidence..."

"So, what's new?"

"Well, Margaret, maybe you want to hear this little story."

"Oh, you bet. Tell me, what is it?"

"There's a girl who likes me."

"I know that already."

"Well, for the purpose of this experiment, how about we say this is a completely different girl."

"Oh, catfight?"

"Nothing like that."

"But don't you already have a girlfriend?"

"I never said that."

"So you broke up?"

"Margaret, just listen to what I have to say. There's this other girl who likes me. She confessed her feelings and wants me to be her boyfriend."

"Is she cute?"

"Yes, she is cute."

"Is she kind and sweet?"

"Of course, she's kind and sweet."

"Does she have money?"

"Money? Uhh... yeah, okay, she does."

"Does she have a car?"

"Okay, listen, she has everything you would approve of. How about that?"

"Oh, that's nice. She's just like my sister."

"Sure. Anyway, what do you think about this situation?"

"Go for it. I mean, your girlfriend just broke up with you. You need to move and get with a rather nice and youthful girl. If my sister is your fancy-"

"She's a minor."

Her excitement suddenly dropped, "What?"

"She's hasn't graduated high school."

"Wh... wha... wait a minute, what is this?"

"There's a young girl who is interested in me. What do you think I should do?"

"You're asking me for something so obvious?"

"I want your opinion."

"Johan, you know the answer is no. You stay away from that gold digger, okay? She's too young. She should be dating rich boys with sports cars, not handsome college boys who should be dating girls his age with lots of money and fancy cars and happens to be right next to you, and you have to do it immediately unless it's my sister, in which case there's something wrong you if you like a slut like her."

"But she said she was in love with me."

"At that age, they don't know anything about love. They only know about money and power."

"How do you know that's what teenage girls are like?"

"Hello? I was once sixteen, but that's not the point. You're not seriously considering dating a teenager, are you?"

"I looked up the laws of this state about consent..."

"Johan, what is the matter with you? She's still a child!"

"Well, I think they're on their way to adulthood in my opinion."

"I can't believe you are even considering going out with a little baby. This is disgusting and morally wrong. You stay away from her, for your own good and hers."

"Is that how you really feel?"

"Yes, of course. Only a disgusting nasty person would even consider going out with such a little kid, okay?"

"But what about her feelings?"

"What about them?"

"If I tell her no, she will be sad and cry."

"Who cares? She's a teenager. She'll get over it with the next boy."

"But what if it was meant to be? What if my soul mate was her?"

"I can't believe what I'm hearing! You really are thinking of going out with a baby."

"I feel like you are objectifying her."

"I'm not objectifying anyone; I'm just saying she's a snot-nosed bratty little kid who doesn't know any better. Johan, stop this insanity. You're going to go to jail."

"Jail?"

"Yes. The police are going to lock you up."

"I just said I looked up the consent laws."

Margaret covered her ears, "Will you stop saying things like that? Johan, what happened to you? Who did this? Did someone touch you when you were a baby yourself?"

"What is this now?"

"Johan, you got to fight those urges! You can't let your lust over toddlers win you over."

"I'm not talking about toddlers!"

"No, Johan. You need to seek help. You can't be drooling and salivating whenever you pass a kindergarten." In the corner of her eye, Margaret noticed a woman pushing a stroller. A gasp escaped her as she covered Johan's eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Don't look. You're a danger to society."

He grabbed her arms and pushed her away. "Knock it off! I'm not a danger to anyone. This was just a test."

"What?"

"I just wanted to see your reaction, okay?"

"Nobody just talks about this. Come on Johan, tell me, what are you on? It's that perverted friend of yours, right? He did something. Where did he touch you?"

"I think I have enough data. I'm leaving. Goodbye."

As Johan turned around and took his leave, Margaret said loudly, "Don't listen to that pervert. He's going to ruin your life. You should be dating nice, healthy, adult women who have money and fancy cars who's been pining for you since college began, okay?"

Eventually, Johan arrived back at his apartment, "Wendy, Margaret has gone insane. If she tells you that I'm becoming a pervert or anything like that, don't listen to her."

Once he entered his bedroom, he sat on his bed. 'This really is as bad as it sounds. Maybe they're right. This is a bad idea. I can't go through with this. Besides, the idea of living alone is still floating in my head. I even have an idea for a novel I want to write during my isolation. I think it's best if I just disappear from society and just live on my own. Lucy, I'm sorry but this time it's for real. I'm not even going to consider telling you in person, otherwise, I may never let you go.'

He took his phone and went straight into his text messages. The photo of Lucy with the crocus on her ear popped up and a great emotion within him arose, one of warmth and comfort. Of desire and need. Of wanting never wanting to let go.

He dropped the phone into the carpet and placed his hand on his face. 'I don't know what to do...'