CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
That is until a knock came to the bathroom door.
"Yes?" I called out groggy through the slapping of the water.
"Let me know when your ready," she said half asleep.
"Okay, I'll be out in a bit." I called out.
"Alright, we have to be there by ten." She said once more.
"I know, I just need to wash up a bit." I replied.
"Do you want some coffee?" She asked.
"Yes please," I answered, sinking deeper into the hot water.
Decaf is better than nothing.
My stomach moved as the baby kicked gently, I rubbed it gently thinking about meeting it for the first time.
Will it look like me, or will it look like Colby, or will it look like both of us?
I wonder who I looked like, my mother or my father..
Will I ever meet them, do they even know I'm alive?
So many what if situations running through my mind.
I washed myself the best I could with a large swollen belly, as I poured water on myself to rinse.
Unplugging the tub and slowly getting out of the tub, I felt like a whale, and my ankles are swollen and sore.
I groaned as my feet touched the cold ceramic tile floor.
It's finally time to get ready for the day.
With a sigh I dried off and put on some clothes and walked to the kitchen and Haley passed me a mug filled with caramel colored liquid of decaf coffee.
Taking a sip of the sweetish, bitter coffee as the heat filled my throat behind closed eyes.
The feeling of missing colby has been growing each day, as well as my stomach which feels bigger than one baby in there.
"Are you nervous about today?" Haley questioned as she leaned against the counter.
"A little, it's one of the most important parts of a pregnancy right?" I asked with a small smile, yet in the back of my mind knowing that Colby isn't here.
That he is going to miss the excitement of knowing our first child's gender is making me feel small and alone.
I think Haley could sense my nerves because she says;
"You have me there with you, so you wont be alone. I'm by your side Chloe." She said with a sad smile I nodded with a smile back.
"Please Colby come back to me…"
Colby's P.O.V
None of this feels real, no matter how long I'm here with my wife and my daughter, it feels like it's all just a dream.
Is my father really gone, is the gang really gone?
It just doesn't work that way once your in theres no getting out, at least not without a fight, and dad is no exception.
I watched my family around the table; watched them chat, and laugh and play how everything can be so… Perfect?
I began to doubt the world around me. The blue sky, the voices around me, the happiness, how could I just wake up and have things change so, so extravagantly. It makes no sense to me.
Impossibly so.
The days feel shorter and shorter, and the nights longer and longer, I've been getting more tired each day.
"How are you feeling, darling?" Chloe asked rubbing my back.
"Tired," I replied rubbing my face with my hands.
"You seem to be getting more tired recently, are you feeling alright?" She wondered her face knitted in worry.
"Other than my migraine and being tired, I feel fine," I spoke with a sigh, I watched Addy play on the slide, as she slid down and ran back to go again.
"Daddy, Daddy, did you see how fast I went?" She hollered out with pride.
"Yes, you went very fast sweet heart, are you having fun?" I asked smiling through tired, baggy eyes.
"Mhm!" She answered smiling ear to ear as she zipped back down again, I refocused my attention back to Chloe, as she sat beside me with a sad look on her face.
"Is something on your mind?" I asked.
"Not really, I'm just worried about you," She answered honestly.
"Why is that?"I asked as I rest my arms on the arm rests.
"Well…" She began, I took her hand in mine.
"What's wrong, tell me." I said gently.
"You haven't been eating, and have been sleeping quite a lot lately." Chloe explained holding my hand.
"Yeah, I'm not really sure why but I've just been feeling so tired." I answered honestly.
"I see," She said nodding. "It just seems like, you don't want to be here anymore."
"I wouldn't say that, as I said I have just been feeling tired." I yawned in response.
She gave me a side glance in unbelieving circumstance, and took a defeated breath. Chloe got up and walked inside closing the screen door behind her.
I wasn't lying when I said I've just been tired, but it also wasn't the full truth when I said that was the only reason why I have been sleeping so much.
Truth is there's many reasons, I haven't been feeling well and the pain in my head is becoming unbearable, and the room spins around me.
Chloe's P.O.V
Driving Into the OBGYN parking lot I take a shallow breath, overly nervous I close my eyes swallowing the bile in my throat.
Hayley parked the car and she unlatched the keys from the ignition, silence grew over us as we stat in a parking spot in the middle of the parking lot.
"Okay, I think I'm ready now," I said hoarsely, and unlocked my side door of the car.
Hayley got out of the other side as she put her keys into her purse she carried around her shoulder.
We walked into the waiting room, as I looked down at the white and blue tiles. I was nervous, but regardless of the gender I'll love this baby no matter what, it was apart of Colby, a part of me.
I looked up at the people who sat and was waiting, men and women waiting to find out what gender their child will be.
I sat in the chair closest to the corner, I didn't want to bring attention to myself, the room smelled of pinesol and bleach clung to the floors, so clean that the tiles sparkled.
The room was quiet other than excitement, and nervous chatter of whispering.
A woman came out from the doors in tears as she placed her hand on her swollen stomach as a man followed behind her upset and angry.
"This is your fault, we were supposed to have a boy." The man muttered to the woman, she just looked down at the floor as she wiped her tears off her face.
Will Colby be just as angry if it's not the gender he wanted?
The thought pestered and manifested itself in my mind.
A nurse walked out from behind them as they headed toward the front door, she carried a clipboard and a pen.
"Sylvia Jenkins," The nurse read before looking up.
A young girl, possibly fifteen got up and began walking towards the nurse, she was probably a bit farther along than I was.
She had tight brown curls that went to the middle of her back and she took a sharp breath as she followed the nurse to the back where the office was waiting.
We quickly made eye contact before she disappeared through the doorway.
"She looks quite young to have a baby," I muttered to myself.
"Yeah, she looks like she's around thirteen, fourteen. Gross." Hayley replied, shaking her head, as she picked up a magazine and began to flip through the pages.
I wonder what her reasons are.
I closed my eyes for a moment, I have been feeling so tired recently.
"Chloe Crowell," A female voice said, I opened my eyes and I got up to follow the dark haired woman in scrubs to the back where the offices were located.
I could feel Hayleys worried gaze as we walked silently to an office.
"The doctor will be with you momentarily," the nurse said waving us in.
"Okay, thank you," I replied, taking a seat on the ultrasound table.
I got myself comfortable unlaying pressure off my back.
"Okay Chloe, how are we doing today?" The Doctor asked as he walked in.
He had silver eye glasses that just lays on the bridge of his nose, and salt and peppered hair came in with a checklist.
"I'm doing okay," I replied a small nervous smile hinted at my lips.
"No fatigue, or nausea today?" He asked, pen in hand
"Very tired, but other than that I'm doing well." I answered honestly.