Chapter 1

Various colors filled her vision like she was staring at the sun. Saranie tried her best to block her vision, but it was just too bright. Even with her hands over her eyes, it still got through. Air in her lungs escaped, causing her to seek air that didn't exist.

Suddenly the multi-colored-lights stopped and Saranie gasped for air. The light from the sun above her filled her vision after she removed her hands. Quickly closing her eyes and turning her head to the side. Her head brushed upon some plants and they tickled her nose. At first she didn't react, just keeping her eyes closed to calm herself down, but then flinched in response to them. As she had remembered the only thing beneath her feet would have been the dead from the war. Even the land around her had been dead.

Saranie practically jumped to her feet, but found that she was abnormally dizzy from that action. At first she made little movements. Keeping still as much as possible and herself balanced. The world around her was still spinning, not just from being dizzy, but she could hear people around her. Children laughing. It gave her hope, but at the same time filled her with anxiety. Where was she then for there to be children around? Could it perhaps be an illusion.

So she quickly tried casting a clear mind spell. Thankfully, it must have been a long time as her reserves were filled up, both mana and lifeforce. Though she could still hear them around her.

Her eyes started adjusting to the light. What she saw didn't only make her heart drop, but also agitated. At first she wanted to say it was a dream, but this clearly was real from the pain and smells around her. It was the garden at the orphanage. Currently on the path next to the violets and sun roses, a red spiral with yellow accents. Thankfully she hadn't gotten stuck in the roses. Although figuring out what was happening wasn't the only problem she faced. She was short… younger. Her skin on her hands wasn't rough from the sword practice nor the scars she could normally see on her arms and of course her skin was more fair than tanned.

She could see smoke in the coming from the blacksmith. Tripharem, her mentor, was probably knee deep in the forge at this time. The sun was going down for the day, but still there were a few bells before nighttime.

"Saranie, are you finished?" A call came from behind Saranie. Turning around she saw Fredjah, an old man. He used a cane and walked with a limp, but he never relaxed. That man worked all his life providing for the orphanage. Fixing part of the roof from a storm, getting supplies they might need at the orphanage, helping the young children into adulthood.

To Saranie, he was a grandpa figure to her. When she lost Yunara, he was the one to tell her to tell the flowers her pain. But Fredjah was an old man and lost his life from old age just two weeks before she turned nine years old.

So when presented with someone from her past, when she believed it to be an illusion even though she already used magic to clear her head, her body moved into a more defensive position. With only a basket at her feet filled with various vegetables, she had nothing to defend herself with. Assuming of course this 'thing' was an enemy.

"Who are you?" She shouted towards the 'thing'. Fredjah had died long ago. Whoever or whatever this was, she wasn't going to take any chances.

"Saranie, are you alright?" The face twisted before her to worry.

Of course Saranie just remembered. Even if this was a high level illusion, she would still have her knife. She reached behind her with her hand and grabbed where it would be and stabbed her other hand.

But she felt no pain. No indication that it even existed within her hand. A few of the children passed by her giving her a look, but moved towards the orphanage. One figure caught her attention. Yunara…

"Yunara?" The words came out on their own. Her whole life changed because of her death.

Saranie shook her head. This was an illusion… but it felt so real. The heat from the sun on her skin, to the smell around her, the sounds of the children running past her… and her tears.

"Let's get you inside Saranie." Even with a cane in the other hand, Fredjah picked her up with one hand. She didn't struggle or even try to avoid his grasp. Emotions were getting to her. Maybe she had died as this was the after life. A part of her denied that thought out of fear that it was still an illusion.

---

Currently Saranie sat on a bench. Fredjah was wiping down her hands and legs with a wet cloth to clean her up for a snack.

She was in a daze. While she was aware this was an illusion of sorts, it didn't stop her from the nostalgic feelings she had. The dark old wood she was sitting on for one. It had cuts and scrapes, even some dried blood in the cracks from children running into it. Then the hallway where young and old kids roamed with purpose to even the caretakers passing by to round up the little ones or just to say hi to Fredjah next to her. Musty smells from gassy kids or the garden coming through the windows. It was surreal to say the least.

Again an old face, one she had barely remembered passed by. Yunara. Saranie's eyes followed her, but stopped as she left her field of vision. She felt numb. It wasn't sudden or from the effects of how he entered the illusion, but a feeling. A feeling that these sensations were just too real.

Fear cleared her mind for a moment. Illusions, ones of this level, must use a lot of mana. Using her mana sense as she sat there, she found herself let down. The children had mana, a little and some none, but that was normal in children. Fredjah, while older, did have more mana, but still less than her. Even the air was normal, so it wasn't affecting the area or infecting her own mana. Using the clear mind spell earlier did nothing, which first led her to the fact it was an illusion, but now it made no sense. It is easy to trick the senses. She knew that, as did most other soldiers who learned the same thing. But mana is something that cannot be faked. It just is and if you can sense that, then that is where most illusions fail.

So how can the mana be 'normal' in the illusion, but still affecting her. Without a blade in her hand, Saranie grabbed her thumb, tensed, and broke it. A grunt alerted Fredjah who was currently sitting next to her with a pouch of berries.

"What did you do Saranie?" His words were filled with worry, but he was still there.

Pain did nothing to dispel the illusion. She thought it wasn't enough and chose to twist her already injured thumb to see if more pain would solve it. Also this wasn't a pain she was used to or wanted in the first place. It was through training that she would do anything to survive. It was what pushed her to stop that portal all on her own in the first place. So hurting her thumb, which she could easily heal, was the best choice in the circumstances.

Since it didn't work, she was even more afraid. She felt trapped. It had been a long time since she felt like this. Well maybe not as a part of this feeling was present before she chose to close the portal. Combined with the pain in her thumb, Saranie just ran. Maybe it was location based. If she got out of there-

"Saranie you're worrying me. Let's get you to-" She had been picked up, but she wasn't taking anymore chances. Saranie poked Fredjah in the eyes, fell to the floor, and ran.

---

She ran down the hallway past the staircase that leads to the second floor to the main room. There she turned right and ran towards the main door where she burst out into the open. Crossing the street past civilians and merchants in an alley nearby. Taking a right, left, then crossing another street, she found crates next to the building. Climbing on them, she hopped over a gate that allowed her into the next alleyway.

This wasn't some path she used to go on, but she had been through this city many times in the past. Her hope was that even if this was an illusion, one that was creating objects and sensations based on her memories, that she could get far enough away from the source to get out of it.

So she kept running. It wasn't long until she stopped herself though.

Considering the illusion didn't just create objects and fool the senses, based on her memories at least, her body being younger was possible too. Of course how an illusion could do that eluded her, but nonetheless she went with it. Also based on her memories, since Yunara is alive that would make her three years old and Saranie five. It was a start at least.

Those thoughts came to her as she breathed deeply while leaning against a wall. She didn't really make it too far, she understood that, but she was next to the blacksmith. Saranie let her mind wander to her time in the blacksmith's shop. The smell of the soot covering the room, to the heat of the forge. Iron melting in her grasp as she waited to pour it-

---

"What are you doing Saranie?" Saranie's eyes shot open to look around. She was no longer looking at the blacksmith from the outside, but instead inside it next to the forge. "Girl don't drop it!" Tripharem shouted at her as her hands let go of the molten metal.

"What's going on?" The words came out of her mouth quietly amidst Tripharem pushing her away.

She was clearly taller, but not her normal height. The clothes she was wearing were ones she would usually wear on the job. Breeches that she tightened around her legs, a long shirt with short sleeves and her hair tied back behind her with a bandana. There was soot in her mouth that she had breathed in. At first she wanted to say it was nostalgic, but the taste more or less reminded her of the war. Cities crumbling-

"Help me clean this up, so don't stand there." Her master called out to her.

Instead of getting the tools to clean up the molten metal off the ground before it cooled, she instead used raw mana to pool it into a ball. With it like that, she was able to put it back in the forge where it could be re-melted down and cleaned. Even if the purity would go down from being on the ground, it could be used to make a tool. The five-second rule.

"There…" In the heat of the moment, she realized what she had done. Not the part where she used magic in front of her master, Tripharem, which he was staring at, but the fact that she was following the illusion. She got sucked into it.

Instead of running away, she stayed there. Still as a wooden board. Watching Tripharem sparkle in amazement at her ability to use magic. He was trying to talk to her… well he was doing the talking, but Saranie stayed quiet and still. The warm, safe glow of the room stayed while her master became worried over her. His concern grew as he touched her hand, whatever he found he backed off confused, but nonetheless worried.

---

Saranie's plan was to let the illusion play out. It was time for her to dictate terms. This illusion wouldn't get the best of her.

Currently her master was sitting across from her. A healer and caretaker from the orphanage were next to her trying to figure out what was wrong. She didn't speak or interact with them.

Observations into this illusion have proven that it is accurate. Details that go unnoticed in day to day life are present. The way the healer twitched when she noticed how much mana was in her own body. To the pulled stitches on one of the younger caretaker's gloves that had dirt covering it along with a flowery smell as he probably ran over here in a hurry at Tripharem's messengers.

If this was real, it was in line with the kind of person her master was. Is? Depends if he was still alive. The war took many lives.

The 'illusion' might be trying to get her to play out a narrative. Even if she was starting to doubt that it was an illusion in the first place, but either way she wasn't going to take part in it.

---

After leaving the blacksmith, she was moved to the hospital in town. There they put her in a bed. It was strange to be shorter. Her body grew with her and it didn't feel all that odd growing. Shrinking on the other hand was absolutely… exciting in a way. Not great sure, but if she was looking on the upside of it, then it gave her the opportunity to sneak around… on the battlefield.

Fighting for so long she has seen it as the inevitable. There will always be a fight, battle, war. No matter how much she wanted the current war to end, which she wasn't sure it was considering her current situation, there was going to be another for sure. Kingdoms, cites, villages would all be vying for land, gold, power. So much had been lost these last six years. That much and more would have scavengers searching whatever they could get their hands on. Even some of her precious friends and allies would turn against her as they made clear to her and others.

To her and a few others, once this war ended they would find a quiet place to live or just go back to their families and fall in line with society. Even if that meant fighting… but most swore off fighting. Saranie was willing to protect her family, the orphanage, with any means necessary.

A sigh escaped her mouth. A slight breeze came in from the window. Dirty white drapes flow from the wind, moonlight snuck in even if the clouds were hiding the majority, and a nurse checking up on the others in her room quickly left.

Saranie's thoughts brought her back to the last battle. Fighting those cultists. The blood and exhaustion present all over her body as well as the battlefield…

---

Once again a foggy cloud of a rainbow covered her vision. This time she found herself holding her sword breathing heavily over a body of a cultist. The bloody still dripping from the sword and the shallow breaths coming from the one on the ground below her. In her haste Saranie quickly ended the man's life.

Looking around at all the bodies, she fell on to her butt. Dark clouds covered her world in the deepest of blacks, while the portal lit up the area around her and the clouds above in this sparky-ominous-green.

Just as Saranie got to her feet to attempt to close the portal, she realized what was happening.

"I'm back?" The words came out of her mouth.

The sensations she felt were just like the first time she was in this situation. Heart beating fast, the world on her shoulders, loneliness, her end… This was it. Maybe an illusion this whole time or what she perhaps hoped it was. Either way, she needed to close the portal.

Stretching out her mana and lifeforce, Saranie used the raw energies like last time to forcibly close the portal. World ending noises and energies were trying to seep out of the portal, but not only was she able to push them back, she fought back. With her mana here this time, she flung spells through the portal at the cost of her concentration. Even if they made no difference, it helped her relieve the stress she had gained by being in that 'illusion' or whatever.

Her mana pushing back creatures on the other side plus the knowledge of what happened before, Saranie was closing the portal with similar effort, but knew where to push and pull. The timing and where to control her magic to make it efficient. While her body was tired, her mana and lifeforce were refreshed making this almost too easy.

But she tore off more than she could handle when the forces she was fighting against started grouping together. She couldn't see on the other side all too well, but she could sense that there were more than last time. Rather than one creature trying to keep it open, a hoard was now working together.

Instead of fighting with her mana she focused on defense and putting more effort to close the portal. Those rainbow colored magical energies gained strength as Saranie cut her wrist to get more power from her lifeforce.

Including the power boost and defending, the portal was getting much small at a faster pace. It was a mistake that the power she had could fight off this enemy. One she had no intention of making again as once it was closed she wouldn't be fighting them again.

Like last time, the portal collapsed in on itself. All the accumulated energy going to a single point before exploding out. She had been preparing for this after last time. Maybe that whole ordeal was a vision, but it did help. It predicted this moment.

An explosion burst forth sending Saranie, the bodies and even dirt and stone away from the center. She had wrapped herself in as many layers of barriers as she could before it exploded, which was much less than she hoped. Although her new mysterious lifeforce protected her. Her mana barriers were wiped out instantly, but those made out of her lifeforce shined brightly, blinding her and staying strong.

Once she landed there was little a barrier could do when she was sent flying at that great of speed. The objects coming at her on the other hand were deflected by the still remaining barrier, which was failing. A part of her recognized the explosion mixed with her lifeforce must have been deflected or empowered because of her barrier. Still it was leaving quickly and so was she. While she knew she would live, the wind was literally taken out of her. Her vision was darkening so with the last bit of her effort she recast the barrier using her lifeforce and rolled her body over her left arm as it was still bleeding from the massive amounts of blood that she used to fuel her lifeforce.