Modern Day Ninja

"This is Josie Portman, reporting live from Los Angeles, where we have reports of a man in black spandex, on what witnesses believe to be an outing of sexual expression, turned wrong…

...more on this news with David Cheng on the scene, David?"

***

"Yes Josie, as you can see here on ## street, the residents are quite shocked and troubled by the event which took place here not even an hour ago. Witnesses say a man in black spandex, wielding some sort of long weapon had suddenly jumped out of an apartment window, and onto the opposite balcony where a dining couple was enjoying their meal. Though from what they have to say they - soon lost their appetite…

"Here with me is the couple; Ben and Diana Messe, with what they have to say;"

====

Ben Messe: "I'll be honest with you. At first I didn't understand what was happening when that "shadow" suddenly appeared over our little balcony table. I was looking over to my wife when I saw her gaze just shift over to my right, which bothered me because, she never does that…

And when I looked over to see what bothered her so much, I turned to see the lower portions of a man flying right towards my face, I tried to dodge, but… but…*sigh* *Shakes head and walks away from microphone*

...

Diana Messe: "It was all a blur. One moment I'm eating happily with my husband, the next - my man… has another man's… little man…*Cries*...Oh Ben…"

*slowly removes hands from face*

"I mean...It happened a little too fast for me to get a good look at the other guy...but he was without a doubt a man. I could even hear that little grunt he made when… him and my husband…*sniffle*

...It definitely wasn't pain. Everyone else might say he sounded like he was in pain from what was happening, but it wasn't I'm telling you! He - That sick, disgusting - he was… he definitely enjoyed it! I hope the cops get this guy, not just for my sake or my husband's, but this is supposed to be a safe community. We have children playing on the sidewalk!"

====

"That's all our direct witnesses were willing to tell us sadly, Josie, but other bystanders confirm that they had seen the man leap from the poor couple's balcony and onto the street, attempting to slip away in an alley. All attempts to stop or bring the man to justice have failed so far. Back to you, Josie."

***

"Thank you David, quite the horrible situation, I cannot believe the trauma that those poor residents are going through…I hope they find and bring this man to justice, truly."

..

"In other news, tensions are rising as the Japanese billionaire Takashi Shitose, whose family was mysteriously murdered five years ago, has suddenly disappeared on his trip to Los Angeles, after forwarding claims that the ones responsible for his family's death are in fact, In the city."

"Such a case has authorities in a mental twist, leaving everyone in wonder. Though more on this story with the 7 o'clock news team. See you then!"

...