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Diplomacy 101: How my Yandere Wife (murders) solves all my Problems!

Waking up as a Blood Elf in the World of Warcraft was a dream come true. Who didn't want to be beautiful and have eternal youth? Even if in that dream he found himself waking up as the most useless noble and child of Silvermoons most notorious politician: Varrus Vandercross. However, waking up during the Scourging of Silvermoon was more like a nightmare. Zombies ate 90% of EVERY Blood Elf in that event, and were banging on his doors as soon as he transmigrated. Apparently married earlier in the day, he found himself chained to his bed by his crazy wife because she wanted him to "stay safe." Said crazy wife then went on to dice through dozens of zombies like some kind of maniac psycho, smiling all the while. Well, it wasn't all a nightmare. At least his wife was pretty, and hey, he even had the Skyrim UI as his system! Wait....you want how many children?! Well, no one said repopulating the species would be easy! Join Varrus and his quest to not only ensure the survival of his race, but also keep his manhood as his wife is very jealous, and very stabby!

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105 Chs

Chapter 67

(Happening concurrently with Varrus's first battle) 

Whilst Varrus and Syra were facing off against Vandercross, the rest of his party were engaged in fierce mortal combat against their respective foes as well. 

Lor'Themar was playing a game of cat and mouse where he and Lireesa Windrunner repeatedly sniped at one another from camouflage, and ambushed one another with elemental traps. Through the millenia, they had trained together like this, to sharpen one another's reflexes, eventually sewing the bonds of trust, and love. 

Now, however, there was nothing but scorn and hatred radiating off of the Windrunner matriarch. If the rest of the Undead Convocation members could be said to be going through the motions, and acting only so much as the binding magic enforced upon them. Then Lireesa was pouring every ounce of her vitriol into every attack, with the determination to enact pain upon Lor'Themar with extreme prejudice. 

The negative emotions associated with Death magic only made her more unstable than she ever was in life, and served to empower her newfound command over Death magic greater than any of her compatriots. 

It was during this battle of hidden strikes in the dark that found Lor'Themar cautiously advancing forward. Arrow notched, and ears strained to the maximum, the current Ranger General had his eyes wide as he tracked down any trace of his former lover. 

As a ranger, he, along with every other skilled practitioner knew a few inscriptions. By carving this magical script into a stone, wall, or bear trap, a ranger could set up the perfect ambush. Already, she had stumbled out of one of his little surprises, driving her into hiding. Now it was Lor'Themar's turn to flush her out. 

Discovering the remains of a faint mana trail, Lor'Themar knew it to be a trap, yet if he was to draw out the furious lady, then he would have to step into the jaws of danger. 

Taking a breath to steady himself. He didn't know the precise location of the script, as rangers had learnt how to place their traps into a state of stealth. A split second distraction, and he would meet a terrible demise. 

Every hair on Lor'Themar's arm stood erect, yet he refused to shiver in the night's cold. Moonlight spilled across jagged rocks in scattered beams of light due to some clouds in the sky. It was when the light darkened over his position entirely that he felt a slight shift in the earth that should not be

Lor'Themar moved on instinct, and was forced to dodge roll forward as he felt something erupt from underneath. 

A moment later, the area where Lor'Themar had stood a moment ago was encased in a solid block of ice. The solid ice was large enough to encase a Tauren, and then imploded a second later. If Lor'Themar had been inside, his bones and organs would have been crushed by overwhelming force, then pierced with shards of ice. 

He didn't have time to think about such a gruesome fate, as he was under attack the moment the trap had missed. 

During his dodge roll, Lor'Themar shot off an arrow, intercepting Lireesa's arrow aimed for his chest. He then twisted midair, evading a second arrow, and switched weapons in one fluid motion to deflect the third and final arrow. 

Coming out of his motion, his twin swords cut in a cross slash, pressing downward against Lireesa's own twin blades. He leveraged his superior height and momentum to press her backwards. 

The duo skidded across loose rocks, and errant flecks of snowfall melted in their hair. 

Black tears oozed from Lireesa's darkened eyes, and Lor'Themar remained solemn on the surface. His heart ached like never before, but if someone had to put down the love of his life, he wouldn't allow Vandercross or Sunstrider to interfere. 

Even if every sword slash was a thorn in his heart, he would not, could not waver. 

This was his burden alone.

"You always excelled at the sword, Lor'Themar." Lireesa said bitterly as she was pressed backward ever more. Small cuts and nicks began to accumulate on her arms as Lor'Themar came ever closer to ending the fight. 

"It was all thanks to your instruction." Lor'Themar humbly replied, his intonation full of genuine respect. 

"Lor'Themar, my perfect Vice General…why is it you standing in front of me instead of Sylvanas!" Lireesa started off soothingly, only to yell in agony a moment later. 

"I am sorry, Lireesa." Lor'Themar sighed, as he knocked her weapons from her hands, then swiped at her neck. 

Before his blade could connect, Lireesa shifted backward, and her body began to take on a smoky quality. The snow shook, and moonlight played off her ghostly form, revealing the true horror that lay beneath. 

Black gas oozed from her pours, and her face, so full of life, turned completely pale, and her lips cold. Her hands took on the shape of claws, and her hair, once radiant and golden, transformed into ethereal white wisps that seemed to have a life of their own. 

"Oh Lireesa." Lor'Themar said in sorrow at what his Hero and idle had become. 

"Sylvanas, Varessa, Alleria, Zandarin. You were their protector Lor'Themar. Your failure is punishable by an eternity of torment!" Lireesa howled with an unholy timbre that reverberated across the battlefield. 

Her banshees howl discombobulated Lor'Themar, causing him to lose his balance, and feel as if there were 5 mirror images of the monster in front of him. 

Stumbling to his left like a drunkard, Lor'Themar raised his sword to parry aside a claw, only to strike at air. 

He felt a cold hand pierce his torso, yet no blood was drawn. Instead, the ghostly apparition tore into the mana within his body, and struck directly at his soul! 

Where an eruption of gore should have spilt out from his chest, instead a patch of necrotic flesh spread forth. A small tumor of mutating scar tissue sprang up like a cancerous growth. 

The tumor pulsed, and Lor'Themar felt foul necrosis spread throughout his body. Icy hot liquid pulsed with every beat of his heart, spreading the cursed wound down his arteries, and back through his veins. His limbs felt like they were on fire, and he almost fell to his knees, the pain was so intense.

"That is but a taste of the torment you have put me through." Lireesa softly intoned as she floated by Lor'Themar's ear. 

Her hair caressed his cheek, leaving a small laceration, as well as a black line of Death energy. 

Lor'Themar gasped as his retaliatory swing went wide. 

"Hahahaha." Lor'Themar began to chuckle as he finally collapsed to one knee. His hand closed in on a locket within his pocket. It was her gift to him so long ago when they first gifted tokens of love to one another. 

He took it out, and held onto it with a dazed expression. 

"Yes, your suffering is quite amusing, isn't it? Look, you can barely lift your left hand. How can you fight without your dominant arm crippled so? This token of affection is touching, but it will not save you. There is no mercy for you, my little shoe carver. Come, let me give you a kiss for old times sake." Lireesa said playfully, and hovered over him. 

"Oh, I am not begging for mercy. I am laughing because I know something you do not know." Lor'Themar chuckled. 

"And what is that? Don't tell me it is something as droll as to never prank a 5,000 year old ranger? I've heard that one before." Lireesa cooed dangerously as she drew closer. Gripping his cheeks, she lowered herself to plant a kiss of death on his lips, however, she was pushed back by a white barrier. 

"No, I am chuckling, because I am not left handed." Lor'Themar winked, and called his bound sword into his waiting grasp like Thor calls his hammer. 

Blinking in shocked surprise, Lireesa poured more Death energy into her lips, and went down for another kiss in a desperate attempt to finish it all. However, she was blocked once more by the magic of the amulet, and for her trouble, caught a sword through her chest, staking her to the ground. 

Holy Light was being transmitted from the locket, and being absorbed by Lor'Themar, reversing his wounds, and purging the curse from his system. 

"How-" 

You are no longer the Lady I admired, and those are not my children. You left me for another man to pursue politics, and promoted your daughter above me. If you're so curious about this amulet, you can ask Vandercross all about his son's enchantments in Hell, bitch!" Lor'Themar said with savage sorrow & anger. He then pushed his sword downward, cleaving the banshee in twain. 

The powerful fire enchantment on his blade activated, and obliterated any remaining traces of the woman he had once admired. 

Taking a step back, Lor'Themar wanted to collapse onto his back, and weep the pent up emotions of centuries away, as he finally severed the thorn that had been buried deep within his heart. 

His wounds were slowly healing due to the holy properties of the amulet, however, the scars remained. This time, he wouldn't allow the kid to heal them. 

Lor'Themar unconsciously found himself smirking at the thought of the kid's face when he had glued him to his chair. 

He was old, but that didn't mean it was too late to make some new friends. Lor'Themar figured he could sit his tired bones down, but the ongoing war did not allow him a moment of rest. 

His allies needed him. 

Collecting his bow, and sheathing his swords, Lor'Themar didn't look back as he left to join the battle. 

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During Lor'Themar's touch and go battle, Rho'dan and the four other Crossguard were confronting the master of enchanting, Bloodchanter. 

"Approaching me in a group, Rho'dan? You always were my least worthwhile student." Bloodchanter taunted from within his suit of fully enchanted, crimson colored thorium armor. 

Rho'dan met Bloodchanter's taunt by drawing his sword, and silently pointing it at him. 

However, the Crossguard were not nearly so solemn. 

"He is your only living student." One of the Crossguard cackled. 

"Duels are overrated. Enough posturing Rho'dan, I always hated this asshole. Let's kill'em." Another drew an axe, and banged it against his shield. 

"The Highlord forged and enchanted this gear himself, you're washed up Bloodchanter! Shown up by a boy no less!" 

The final Crossguard remained silent, as he checked their surroundings for any ambush, allowing his companions to toss insult after insult at the crimson armored enchanter. 

"Little Rho'dan, running to lick Vandercross's heels because he couldn't take a little more training. Too cowardly to fight 1v1 like a real man." Bloodchanter taunted, and took a step forward. 

His boot crunched as it met the rubble underneath, spreading a slight dust cloud in a 5 foot radius. This action was some sort of trigger, and all the joking around and mirth disappeared from the Crossguards' faces as things got serious. 

The bottom of Bloodchanter's boots sparked, and a rocket-like force propelled him towards the group. 

His enchanted sword flashed out, swapping between fire, ice, and Arcane energies against all of their shields, searching for a weakness. 

A pale white energy shield sprang up around each of the Crossguard, protecting them from Bloodchanter's onslaught. 

They retaliated by swiping where Bloodchanter looked like he was going to move next, and aimed for the eye slit in his armor, however, a haze of tri-energy enchantments (fire/ice/Arcane) sprang forth, blocking their strikes. 

The battle quickly devolved into one of attrition, where each side was in a race to deplete the other side's shields, then crack the armor and expose the flesh underneath. 

Four of the Crossguard were beating at Bloodchanter with everything they had, but could not get through. 

Slashing downward, Bloodchanter unleashed a wave of pure ice from his blade, completely freezing on Crossguard, and taking him out of the fight. At the same time, his shield fired a concentrated beam of pure Arcane at another one. The laser beam penetrated the energy shield, and began to slowly melt the Crossguard's helmet, causing him to scream and run away for a moment as he tossed his helmet to the side. 

Rho'dan hadn't remained idle during this engagement, and shield bashed Bloodchanter in the helmet once, twice, three times in an instant, then shoved his thorium blade in the exact same spot, creating a tiny gap in Bloodchanter's energy shields. 

The tip of the sword entered the eye slit on Bloodchanter's helmet, 

"The perversions you did to us boys in the name of 'training' was sacrilegious, Bloodchanter. Inappropriate touching, rape, murder, yet you dare call yourself Highborn! It was a shame that the Scourge took you before I could get my hands on your neck." Rho'dan uttered softly with focused contempt. 

"And look at you, stronger than all of your peers! I made you into the man you are Rho'dan!" Bloodchanter proudly crowed as he locked blades with Rho'dan. 

Fire and electricity constantly spilled from Rho'dan's blade. Due to the Skyrim UI, this electricity constantly had a draining effect on mana, and was sapping the protective enchantments around Bloodchanter every second. 

However, Rho'dan wasn't without his worries as the shield in Bloodchanter's arm lit up once more. This time, it was aimed at Rho'dan's chest. 

"Kill him!" Rho'dan shouted to the two other members of the Crossguard still standing. 

One tried to wrestle the shield away, whilst the other broght down his axe two handedly. 

The protective shield enchantment of Bloodchanter broke, and the axe began to slightly chip as it dented Bloodchanter's armor, but failed to pierce! 

Rho'dan grunted, and barely raised his shield in time to block the white hot laser beam. 

He felt his hand heat up, and the shield in his arm began to drip rivulets of burning hot metal drip and hiss to the ground. 

The revolting smell and fumes from the molten metal made Rho'dan light headed, but he refused to let go, even as the energy beam began to go through the shield, and take aim at his armored vambrace. 

"Auugh!" Rho'dan grunted in pain as he felt his arm begin to melt, yet even so, he refused to let Bloodchanter go, and kept his weapon pinned. 

All the while, two of the Crossguard were attacking with an axe enchanted with fire and lightning, taking alternating swings with a sword enchanted with ice and lightning on Bloodchanter's armored back. 

The dual weapons enchantments began to turn Bloodchanter's armor brittle, and cracks started to emerge all over his plate. 

"Let go! You will lose an arm for this you fool!" Bloodchanter howled in desperation. 

"An arm is nothing for my brothers." Rho'dan eyed the object of his hatred with satisfaction as he sensed Bloodchanter's panic began to escalate. 

Rho'dan ignored the burnt flesh, and agony as best he could when a loud pop indicated that Bloodchanter's armor had been pierced. 

"Fool!" Bloodchanter chuckled. 

When his armor was pierced, an explosion erupted out of his back, and the two remaining Crossguard were swept away in a vortex of Arcane explosions. 

Rho'dan sighed in relief, when he saw that their protective enchantments had saved them; however their limbs were twisted at odd angles similar to a pretzel, and had left them out of commission. However, much to his horror, Bloodchanter's armor seemed to be slowly knitting itself back together in some sort of self-repair! 

"One arm Rho'dan, ah this takes me back to our training days~." Bloodchanter taunted lewdly, and kicked Rho'dan in the chest, sending the crimson haired chief guard tumbling across the rocks. 

Moonlight spilled upon Bloodchanter, and he raised his blade high, intent on cleaving Rho'dan in half. 

It was at that moment that a large explosion of frost and snow rocked the entire battlefield. A chunk of ice came hurtling out of the night, and collided with Bloodchanter, pushing him on top of Rho'dan. 

Taking advantage of this unexpected boon, Rho'dan used his only remaining arm to wrestle with Bloodchanter, putting him in a rear naked chokehold. 

"Have you forgotten that I no longer am required to breathe?" Bloodchanter mocked. 

All the while, heat began to shimmer around Bloodchanter's armor, and slowly ate away at Rho'dan's enchantments, and scorched his armor, threatening to melt that too. 

Rho'dan was breathing heavily, and was delirious from pain, and smoke as he clung on to Bloodchanter's back. 

At this point, the hole in Bloodchanter's armor was closing every second, and had almost fully repaired itself. Rho'dan's sole hope and opportunity to end this conflict in victory was swiftly running out. 

Taking a deep breath, Rho'dan closed his eyes, then roared in fury, mobilizing all the mana in his body for one last, final, desperate effort. 

Pushing Bloodchanter down with his hand, Rho'dan pinned his former teacher with his knees, and forced his armored hand downward like a skewer. 

He felt great resistance, and failed to gain entry. The will to give up, and let the pain take ahold of him, and meet the sweet embrace of death grew ever more tantalizing with each pain filled gasp he took once he experienced this monumental failure. 

"Ha, ha, you piercing me in the back? That's a change that will never happen!" Bloodchanter laughed uproariously. 

Rho'dan saw red, and he decided to never give up, even if it increased the pain in his body a hundred fold! To Hell with this monster! 

Attacking downward again and again, Rho'dan thought there would be no answer to bring this pervert to justice, when suddenly, he heard the sweet sound of tearing metal. Rho'dan had done it. He had just barely punctured a hole in Bloodchanter's armor! Without any pause or hesitation, he dug the tips of his armored fingers in through Bloodchanter's lungs, and moved deeper still till he squeezed onto the bastard's unliving heart. 

"Haaargh!" Rho'dan called upon the spark of his mana in his body by 'chanting' a barbaric ancient spell fueled by desperation and emotions, like that of his Troll ancestors. As a result, a spark of fire lit up in his hand. 

That flame spread outward, and utterly cooked Bloodchanter inside out. 

Lifting his bloodied fist into the sky, Rho'dan crushed Bloodchanter's heart, and let loose with a primal roar of victory. 

Limping to their feet, the Crossguard raised their heads to the moon in pride, and shouted his victory to the heavens alongside him. 

"Rho'dan!"

"Rho'dan!"

"Rho'dan!" 

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AN: Read 25 chapters ahead at: patreon.com/KarpQQ