Chapter 22: Don't Go (Viewpoint 2)

Taesung's POV:

"Taesung, wait. Listen to me."

"Taesung. Wait, please." Her pleading was forbidding me to go. Still, I had to. I should have left this place long time ago. I was selfish to be happy for having last few months with Noona. I could feel being loved and I could love someone after a long time. But now I had to leave for Noona's well-being. I couldn't be more selfish to stick here and ruin Noona's life.

"Taesung."

Her pleading was too much to tolerate. She didn't understand how hard it was for me to leave. I didn't know any other way to stop her, so I turned toward her and yelled, "What?"

She flinched. Her mesmerizing eyes stared at me in astonishment. Those eyes could be the death of me. If she kept looking at me like that, I was sure to be hypnotized and change my decision. That's why I said bitter words to stop her.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to follow me? Don't you understand? I don't want you nearby."

And I was successful to hurt her. It was visible as her eyes watered. I cursed myself and every deity who was plotting this.

'Why? Why do we have to be separated? Why can't I enjoy my life with her? Why do I have to be so miserable?'

It was already hard for me to keep this controlled, angry façade. Thereby I turned and walked away. That's the best I could do.

"My brother committed suicide."

I stopped.

"If he were alive, he would be like you now." She was talking about her brother, Nabil. I already knew how much he meant to her. All this time I thought he died somehow but never once I imagined he committed suicide. I didn't know how to act. She opened up to me about such a sensitive topic. It would be unfair if I behaved rudely.

I turned toward her and walked to her. This girl was baring a heavy burden in her heart. All I could offer to her was mere sympathy. "I am sorry. I didn't know."

As our eyes met, I noticed the crystalline teardrops. It was a torture for me to see her cry. I wiped her tears.

She gradually walked to the footpath and sat there. I followed her and did the same thing.

She continued, "He was my best buddy. He was five years younger than I, but we got along like friends." She sniffled. "He was a little introvert and didn't express his feelings to everyone. But he used to share his every thought with me." She exhaled deeply, "At least, that's what I thought until he committed suicide."

I knew she was close to her brother. There bonding was deep. But if she didn't know what bothered him to push him to the edge, it was normal to doubt about their proximity.

"Taesung, did you ever wonder why I always helped you? Even though you didn't like me in the beginning and always kept me at arm's length, I always tried to be with you."

Yes, I always wondered. I wondered why a foreigner girl wanted to help me that much. It never made sense and I stopped looking for the answer ever since she fought for me. Since that day, I swore to have her and protect her.

I kept my gaze on the ground and shook my head.

"Do you remember the first time we met?"

How could I forget? I was surprised to see a foreigner and to meet her at stairs. I nodded and replied, "We bumped into each other."

"Yes, right then you caught my attention. When I looked at you, I was beyond amazed. How was it possible? You were a reflection of Nabil. You looked alike except for the eyes." She chuckled, "As if you are the East Asian version of Nabil." Suddenly she started crying. She was sobbing.

'Oh, God! Why is she crying again? Every time she cries, I feel like I am getting a panic attack.'

I let her cry, I let her let go of the pain. She was having a hard time to control herself. I understood her pain. I had lost my mother and sister too. But I never had to blame them. Noona's case was different, she lost her brother because he wanted to die. After controlling herself she asked me, "Do you remember how you looked at me that evening when the owner threatened you for the payment?"

I didn't know how I looked at her that time, "I don't know."

"You looked like Nabil at that moment. Nabil used to look at me like that if he was sad and vulnerable."

I was astounded to hear that. 'I looked vulnerable. Really?'

I looked at her for confirmation.

"I understood that you were going through hardships. Later when we met at the restaurant, I tried to help you. Even after you rejected my offer, I couldn't stop myself. I didn't realize when and how I became this much protective of you."

'Wow! Only if she knew how much protective I am when it comes her.'

Sometimes I regretted for behaving like that. She was a kind person who did nothing but helped me, and I was an asshole.

We both sat in silence. I wanted to tell her too. I wanted her to know how much she meant to me. "I felt the same for you."

I felt a bit shy to look at her, so I avoided eye contact and said, "I am also protective of you. I once had a younger sister. She didn't look like you but your care always reminded me of my family. Sometimes it feels like you are a reflection of my mother and sister. Always loving me, trying to protect me. After I lost my family, I didn't know I could feel like this for any other person. At first, I didn't like you because you felt pity for me. I never wanted anyone's pity. But as soon as I realized that you don't pity me, I started liking you."

I was sure that I astounded her. I never said anything like this to her but I wasn't prepared for her next question.

"If that's true, then why didn't you talk to me in last two months?" Sadness was clear in her voice. I hurt her, indeed.

'I am an asshole.'

"Noona." It felt like ages since I called her that. It almost felt foreign on my lips as I hadn't talked to her for two months. She became emotional too. Her eyes watered again.

It was hard to say, but she needed to know the truth, "Look, I am not a good person. Noona, I don't want to hurt you. I am not good for you. That's why I kept distance."

"Taesung, what you did that day be a bit brutal, I agree with that. But, you are harmful, I don't believe it and I will never believe it. I had questions to ask but I wasn't mad at you. I didn't question about your goodness for once." She said firmly.

I looked into her eyes for answers, if she honestly believed in what she said.

"What? Do you think I didn't notice how you treat others? How kind you are to the children and to elders? The way you feed restaurant's leftovers to cats, do you think I haven't noticed these?"

I looked at her in adoration. 'She paid attention to me.'

"You are a good person Taesung. Whatever you believe is wrong. I have seen it with my own eyes. Is this why you didn't talk to me? That you believe you are a bad guy?" She softly whispered as if she wanted clam me.

I nodded.

"That's absolutely bullshit. Do I look like I kid to you? Do you think I can't take care of myself and incapable of deciding my companionship?" She raised her voice.

I was still looking at the ground because it was overwhelming to hear from her.

"Answer me." She yelled at me. She was completely annoyed and angry.

I closed my eyes and sighed, "I am sorry, Noona. I am too much protective of you. And when I thought that I am harmful for you, I kept my distance. I tried to protect you even if it meant that I was the one who would have to hurt you."

She truly had no idea how hard it was for me not talking to her. It was one of the biggest punishment for me. She didn't know how many times I killed the urge to go to her, talk to her, make her smile.

Before I could say anymore things, she hugged me. It was so sudden that I couldn't process how to react. I stiffened in her embrace.

"Taesung, don't go. Please. I have formerly lost Nabil. I don't wanna lose you too."

I gave in her embrace after hearing her confession and wrapped my arms around her and chuckled, "Noona, I am homeless now. How can I stay here with you?"

"Who said you don't have a home? Move in with me. We will live in my flat."

I didn't see it was coming. In fact, it was astounding. Did she know what she just suggested?

'I. Will. Live. With. Noona?' Definitely it was hard to believe.