Chapter 7 - Heaven-Defying Paradise oh fuck

Once I, -unwillingly-, accepted a fourth member in the THREE musketeers, I seriously reconsidered the whole purpose of my life.

Should we really be called the Four Musketeers? Like? Even if he's D'Artagnan, it wouldn't make sense to still be called the Three Musketeers, right?

Like, the whole problem with the Three Musketeers as a book is that it's not about Three Musketeers but FOUR FUCKING MUSKETEERS.

I can't make the same mistake as the author right? I went to primary school right? I can't be…

Oh and fuck it.

Let's go for the Four Musketeers.

-Let's go to the Consortium!

It's basically the place where you register your guild to the world.

And it's not a group of companies or something like that.

I have no idea why they chose that name instead of something less modern, but it's not my problem.

How it works is simple: basically you pay to register your guild.

But I swear it's not a group of companies or something.

They make profit to make new Consortium Buildings.

But it's not a group of companies or something.

They got shareholders.

Okay, it's totally a company.

But it's not a GROUP.

You got the whole point.

Anyway, now that I finished shitposting in my head, we arrived at the Consortium.

I took at look at it.

-Holy shit, that door got teeth!

╔════════════════════╗

║ Consortium Building

║ HP: ∞/∞

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║ Skills (0 points)

║ Digestion(99,MAX)

║ Extortion(99,MAX)

╚════════════════════╝

I guess if you didn't know it was a shady company BEFORE looking at the building, now you do.

It's good there are terminals before the building, so I don't have to be eaten alive.

╔════════════════════╗

║ Consortium Terminal

║ HP: ∞/∞

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║ Skills (0 points)

║ Price increase(99,MAX)

╚════════════════════╝

Finally I'm going in.

Now it's finally time to enter the glorious names of my nakamas and start navigating on grandline, fighting other pirates and… oh wait, wrong story.

The filling process is explained close to the entrance, it's pretty simple:

1) You enter a private room with your future guild-mates.

2) You say a command to start the process.

3) All your guild-mates say they agree to join.

4) You finish the process, your account is deducted of the money.

So, let's go.

-Hey, I'm SilentVoice are you going to register a guild?

I'll just ignore him.

-Can I join?

Dartagnan: Yes, why not.

OneStroke: No problem.

PinkyKitty: ... I… think… it's… fine...

Me: No, there are already 4 of us- Wait why are you teaming up against me?

[...]

So, now is the time to say the registration command.

The 5 musketeers, huh? At least we know how to count…

So the command is:

-System

I definitely need to find something else than the 5 musketeers.

-Register

I look around the room.

-Guild

Something something something something… oh wait, there's 40% off-

-Heaven-Defying Paradise oh fuck

Everyone looks at me. Their eyes seem to be glowing with malice, akin to the brightest flames of hell.

-Calm down everyone, the 5 musketeers wasn't really better, we can still cancel.

-Price deducted, do all present agree to be members of Heaven-Defying Paradise oh fuck?

SilentVoice: Yes!

Everyone else: ...

I have to do something.

-Come on everyone, these were all our economies, you know no one will have the courage to play ever again without the guild bonuses.

Something something something something something…

-I know that everyone in the entire world will see that slip-up. And that probably everyone will laugh at us until the end of time. And that if someone ever knew our real identities, we would probably be ridiculed and bullied. But we still got 5% off taxes on the item sales in the market.

Pinky: Yes

I am not dense enough to not notice she's in it more because of me than because of the 5% off taxes, but that's still okay.

The only thing I regret right now is to not have used my seemingly high tier seduction skills on the guys too. There's no question of needing to match your sexual orientation when there's money involved.

-So?

OneStroke sighs and: Yes.

The only one left is Dartagnan.

I have to make him comply.

Oh wait, there's totally no need to. He wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place, why do I even care about him.

-You know Dartagnan, there's no need to join if you don't feel like it. We understand you don't want to be associated with this name and you should feel free to refuse to join. It's VERY important you affirm yourself and make the right choice for your future.

-Yes.

-Yeah, I understand, it's good for you that you refus-what?

If I knew Dartagnan was so weak to social pressure, I wouldn't have insisted so much previously, if I just focused on OneStroke by using bro power then ignored the rest, I could have the perfect guild: Me, and OneStrokeOneSoul.

[...]

-And this is the story of the foundation of my guild, before we were the world first to clear the "Mushy Forest Bull"!

SilentVoice: World First! World First!

OneStroke, holding his head: It was just a low level world boss, what are you so excited for...

Pinky: ...

Dartagnan: World... Fi-First! Wo...

Don't follow the group if you're scared!

I think, as I feel the heavy look at the other players in the inn who may soon be intent on throwing knives at m- uuuh, at us.