Memories

Han Mingxia who was waiting outside the room where Zhang Huiling was being treated was surprised to see her cousin coming in a haste but unsteady footsteps. 

Han Meixiu's complexion wasn't good. Her eyes and nose were red and tear marks were visible on her face. Her hair was a bit messy and some strands were actuallying sticked on her face. 

With only one look, Han Mingxia knew she encountered something not really good. 

"Meixiu, you are already inside the building. You don't need to hold your gun." Han Mingxia commented after seeing her cousin's hand still tightly grasping the gun. 

Han Meixiu looked at it for a while and her lips formed a straight line before tucking it away.

"How's my mom?" She asked in a broken and shaking voice. She was trying to stabilize her mood. It's not the time to be swayed by what happened. 

She almost had an accident on the way here.

"She's being attended now. I think she's safe. Are you okay?" Han Mingxia worriedly asked.

Han Meixiu nodded and became quiet. She leaned on the wall a meter away from her cousin. Her eyes stared balnkly at the opposite room. There was a short bench near but none of them were planning to sit. 

Han Mingxia didn't ask about what happened nor why her Aunt Huiling was still alive. She could wait as her cousin was clearly in a mess.

"I'll get you some water." She said after observing her for a while. 

"No need. I have to go back home. The twins will wake up soon. Can you wait here and update me? I'll pay extra..."

"Hey,.." Han Mingxia wanted to refute that she didn't need extra payment. She didn't want to be paid at all! 

But an arguement wasn't something Han Meixiu wanted to have. 

Han Mingxia nodded and leaned on the wall again. She just murmured 'I don't need it.' 

"I'll send you some change of clothes. Please accompany my mom until I come back."

"Alright...Don't forget some food, too!" Han Mingxia added. 

She was supposed to have dinner meeting with Red but the latter balied out the last minute. Before she could plan to eat, she received an emergency 'job' from Han Meixiu and totally forgot she needed to have dinner.

The sky was now starting to brighten and her tummy was still empty. Unlike before that she would always have dry foods or snacks in her pocket, she didn't have any now. 

She's really famished. She already drank water but it didn't help at all. 

Han Meixiu stopped and turned around, looked at her blankly and nodded absentmindedly.

Han Mingxia looked at her cousin's back until it disappeared in the quiet hallway. She hoped her cousin really understood what she said. 

She more or less guessed what happened. It was either she encountered Li Xiaozhi or she shot someone. When she experienced her first kill, she was also very unstable. Thus she understood a bit what her cousin was feeling. 

She just hoped her cousin could cope up the soonest possible time.

Also, Han Mingxia also has her own selfish reason why she wanted to stay until Zhang Huiling wake up. She wanted to ask her aunt about her own mother.

*

After Han Meixiu washed up, she snuggled herself between the twins.

She needed some warmth from her little angels. 

Her innocent faces helped wash away her pain and emotional turbulence away.

She was tired but she couldn't sleep.

She tightly closed her eyes and her gaze fell on the pair of jades the twins received from Li Xiaozhi. She bit her lip and moved her eyes away from them. 

She's probably a coward. Right now, she didn't want to ponder about what happened between the two of them. She wanted to seal this part of her memory and treat it as a bad dream. 

On her way to the medical facility, she almost had an accident as she was in chaos. But after 'waking up' from her agony, she realized her life wasn't just for her. She has a family. 

Yes, she's probably in denial. She thought it would be better that way. She's not good with coping up in this kind of pain. Especially if she was the one who inflicted it. 

She would apologize. It's not a problem. But a simple apology would not solve it. 

As another pair of tears escaped from her eyes, she hugged the little buns on her arms. 

*

Li Xiaozhi who was letting the warm water wash out her fatigue, has been standing under the shower for more than 20 minutes. The entire bathroom was already covered with a dense mist. 

After her partner escorted her to the nearby hospital to treat her wound, she went back to the scene when she and Han Meixiu had an encounter. 

She picked up the empty bullet casing and other possible evidence. Although she was asked several times, she just mentioned that her own shot basically reflected wounding her arm. 

If an investigation would take place, she could not guarantee that Han Meixiu would not be inflicted. 

This might be the last thing she could do for her, as her best friend. 

Her tears that blended with the flowing water burst again. 

Han Meixiu, she was not just a plain best friend. She was like a sister, a family. Someone she wanted to protect. 

In their family, she was always the weakest one. Her two older brothers were outstanding and the younger one was also making his own name. 

She always wanted to be depended on. When her brother was still a kid, she would like to be the perfect big sister. She found a purpose by doing it. Later on, her brother started to mature and the dependence on her started to change. 

He could do more than she could. 

When she wanted to become independent, none of her family members opposed it. She was grateful for that. 

Independence was taught to them during their early days. Before becoming a university student, she encountered little 'sisters', too. But their behavior were a big disappointment. They only wanted to be close to her because of her brothers. 

That was not what she wanted. Thus studying in Q City was a decision she thought thoroughly. 

There, she met a girl, almost the same age as her. Totally different from those girls who would butter her up. 

Han Meixiu didn't know much about life and she, Li Xiaozhi, was more than willing to teach her.

She became her best friend. Her dependence and obedience warmed her heart. They were always together. Studying, shopping, cooking and lazing around. 

Those memories were still vivid. Their arguments, their petty fights even the time they were both sick.

She probably couldn't clearly remember her days as a student before meeting her. 

In their university, if Han Meixiu would be there then expect Li Xiaozhi would also be around. 

When Han Meixiu's grandparents died, she promised to herself that she would definitely stand by her side no matter what. She tried her best to find traces of her parents given her limited capability and resources.

Right, even until now, she couldn't really help much. Those words before seemed to be like empty promises. 

It was probably because of her powerlessness that Han Meixiu started to switch side and enter the dark world. 

How naive! Li Xiaozhi scolded herself as she sneered inwardly. 

When she was still a university student, everything seemed to be achievable. Her ideals and belief were pure and untainted. She was full of energy and conviction to become the most upright police officer.

But those things started to change the moment she stepped on the real world. Soon, one by one started to crumble. The world wasn't beautiful like what she usually believed. It was too complex and dark, diminishing her passion little by little, swaying her beliefs and destroying her illusions. 

Reality was really harsh. Being assigned in cold cases, her failures were a lot more than her successes. Almost everything she imagined and planned before graduating derailed. 

But she still wanted to persevere as she wanted to fulfill her promise. It wasn't just for Han Meixiu. It was also for herself. 

A proof that she could also do something relevant to a person she cared about. 

But she was wrong. Time was merciless. Han Meixiu must have found another way to solve her own case. She was way too late. 

Her wound was continuously aching but her heart was more painful. Her arm was not the only one needed to be tended.

As the memories continued to flow, Li Xiaozhi's expression got even more complicated.

*

When she went out of her room, she already bandaged her wound. Her hair was still a bit damp. She just also ended the call from her partner. 

"Sister! Brother Shan is coming!" The youngest Li reported with a bright smile. Their Brother Shan was undoubtedly someone he looked upto. 

The boy who used to follow her around was already became an outstanding young man. Sooner or later, he would surpass her. 

"Why?" Li Xiaozhi asked. Her oldest brother would not normally visit their family home unless during those holidays. 

"Dad is planning to retire. I think they would talk about it." He answered and turned around to go back to his room. 

Li Xiaozhi moved her gaze to where her younger brother came from. It was a great timing. She didn't need to find her brother.

With a determined look, she walked towards the living room with a steady steps. She would also want to have a talk with her oldest brother.