Mikan's Therapy Session

After finishing up with Byakuya, I headed back downstairs to meet up with Mikan. Something about her worried me, from the moment I laid eyes on her. I wasn't sure if it was the bandages all over her right leg, or her incessant apologizing, but as a psychologist, I felt the need to get to the bottom of it.

First, I stopped by the School Store, and swiped my E-Handbook twice. I got a multicolored pen, which I decided to keep for myself, and a white cloth bag with a red plus sign on it. Unimpressed with the bag, but not wanting to toss it, I decided to stuff it into my bottom left pocket.

Remembering her saying she might be in the laundry room, I headed there first, but only found Kokichi, Nagito, and Keebo there. Kokichi was pestering Keebo about something or another, and Keebo looked annoyed. I also overheard Nagito mention something about a "piece of trash not being worthy of being in their company", but I didn't catch who it was directed at. Deciding that the situation looked harmless enough (if anything, I wouldn't blame Keebo for offing them two), I left them be without drawing their attention, and headed up the hall to Mikan's room.

I rang her doorbell, and she opened it rather quickly, inviting me in. I sat in a chair, as she sat down on the edge of her bed, clearly nervous. Looking around, I saw a hospital bed next to Mikan's bed, an unusually large medicine cabinet, a first aid kit, and other objects that a nurse would be expected to use on a regular basis.

"S-so you wanted to see me?" Mikan asked.

"Yes, I did," I responded. "As a psychologist, you keep catching my eye, and I want to understand you better."

Mikan's eyes went wide, and she leaned back a little bit, a defensive pose. "You want to know me better? Should I take off my clothes and let you-"

I stopped Mikan mid-sentence. "No, no, nothing like that. I mean I want to understand why you are the way you are, and see if there's any way I can help you."

"I-I'm sorry. You can punch me if you want, since I misunderstood you." Mikan brought her arms in tight in front of her, hands in her lap, and hunched her shoulders inward.

"No, that would actually make me feel worse, Mikan," I responded. "I have no intention of causing you any harm. What's drawing my attention is actually the harm that's already been caused to you."

Mikan looked surprised. "Huh? Harm done to me? But no one here has hurt me, even after I lost at volleyball. I...I told everyone on my team I was s-sorry, and they all forgave me."

I closed my eyes for a few moments, needing to redirect my approach, as I was getting nowhere quickly. Mikan didn't seem to be the type to pick up on subtle hints. "Ok. What I'm trying to say is that you have all the symptoms of being abused, perhaps your entire life, and it deeply concerns me. I was wondering if you wanted to discuss any of it with me, and perhaps I could help you deal with your trauma from these events."

Mikan seemed genuinely confused, as if I had changed languages mid-sentence on her. "Wh-why do you want to talk about me?"

"Because I'm concerned about you, Mikan. Everything about you, from the way you approach people, to your speech patterns, to your constant apologizing, screams "Abuse!", and it genuinely worries me. I guess you could call this a private therapy session."

"Anyway," I continued, as Mikan processed what I said, "What I really want to know about you is, what has been done to you in the past, and how can I help you come to terms with all this trauma?"

Mikan looked over my face a bit, then started talking. "I've had people make fun of me and beat me up a lot. I've taken on other people's debts, let them draw all over me, and have also been used as a target for dart games. People have thrown mud at me, or poured water on me, or even made me imitate various animals, like a pig or a sea turtle."

A knot formed in my stomach, and I'm sure Mikan picked up on my facial expression change before I could hide it. "Oh, but it's ok. No one would ever treat my injuries afterwards, so I always had to do it myself. And after a while...I got really good at it. That's how I became the Ultimate Nurse!" She looked at me with a smile that clearly said "I hope I said the right thing!"

I took a deep breath. "So you became the Ultimate Nurse by going through physical and emotional Hell?"

Mikan looked at me, puzzled. "I'm...I'm sorry if I upset you. Please don't-"

I cut her off. "It's fine, I just wasn't fully expecting all of that. So if everyone treats you like shit, then why do you keep reaching out to them? Do you get something out of this?"

Mikan glanced down and off to the side for a moment, and I saw her shoulders shudder just a little bit. "Because I'd rather be abused than ignored. Being ignored means...that no one cares about you."

Bullseye! THAT'S why she endures all of this. The old "Any attention is better than no attention at all" mindset. These types were one of my least favorites to deal with, because it was hard to counter this set of mind logically, without inadvertently convincing them that being ignored was the best way to go.

I glanced over at the time. It was already past 6pm. "Alright, I think this concludes our session. I think I understand you a LOT better than I did before, and I'm grateful that you took the time to talk to me like this. I'm gonna get some dinner, but before I go, I want to give you something."

I handed her the white cloth bag with the red plus sign on it. She looked at it, then realized that I was offering it to her.

"Is it really ok for me to receive such an item? It's been a while since anyone gave me something for free...I'm so happy! Thank you, Shurinku!" Mikan smiled meekly, and pulled her hands in front of her chest, resting her chin on them both. I smiled, nodded my approval, then showed myself the door, heading towards the Dining Hall.

Kirumi made me a sirloin, medium rare, with some #1 Steak Sauce (honey barbecue flavored), and a side of mashed potatoes. I drizzled the steak sauce onto my steak, cut it up, then dipped my steak slices into my mashed potatoes and ate them. I don't know, maybe I'm just weird, but I like eating steak and mashed potatoes that way. It was incredible, pink but not bloody, and the mashed potatoes were smoother than melted butter. After I finished, I offered to take my plate to the kitchen, but Kirumi was having none of it, and insisted that she handle my dinnerware herself. Knowing that arguing with Kirumi was borderline pointless, I let her take my plate and silverware and headed back to my dorm for the rest of the night.

Tomorrow, I would have to find Ibuki, and see what she discovered on the second floor, if anything. Hopefully, she found something useful, but she did tend to be scatterbrained, and not really the type to notice small details.

Unknown to me, someone else would be looking for me tomorrow, too, with a question that I wasn't sure I could answer for them.