Chapter 55

Carl was all smiles bubbling with laughter while his hand jerked at the lengthy string that held his kite soaring fifty feet above his head. His other hand unrolled a spool of his string as his kite climbed higher into the azure sky.

It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon with a crowd of summer revellers taking advantage of the scenery and sunshine. Howard held hands with April as they strolled up a verdant knoll in the park. They made conversation while keeping watchful eye on Carl, making sure he did not wander off into the crowd. Howard carried a picnic basket in his other hand with a bag slung across his shoulder. April scanned the area and found them a spot with a cool shade under a sycamore tree. Howard dropped the basket and opened the bag and took out a rolled blanket which he spread on the grass for them to sit down. April took out the items in basket and laid them onto the blanket. Howard took off his shoes and they sat watching Carl race about with his kite.

"It's so nice getting out of the house," April remarked while resting her head against his shoulder. "Don't you agree, darling?"

"Oh yeah. I forgot to say I love your new hair."

"Thanks. I thought you wouldn't notice."

"Won't you have killed me if I didn't," he chuckled.

They were silent for a while, their eyes observing Carl struggle with his kite. A warm breeze blew against their face.

"It's even been a while since we had ourselves a day like this," Howard said.

"Yeah. Too much stuff on mind and life."

"Don't you just miss it?"

She sighed. "I miss a lot of things. I miss not seeing you whenever you have to head out to work, like I'm worried you won't return home to me. I miss the way we used to be. I know that sounds like I'm bitching but I'm not. I just get this forlorn feeling sometimes when I'm with myself thinking how far we've come with this and if we're going to end up crashing bad someday. You ever get like that sometimes?"

"I can't lie to you, I very much do. Even crazier thinking about this new life we share. I doubt we're ever going to get back to what we once were."

"I doubt it too." She took his hand in his. "But I love what we've become. It all happened so fast, don't you think?"

"Like getting washed up in a storm. I lied before when I said I didn't contemplate divorce. I'm glad I never thought too much of it."

"I figured you would. I even talked it over with Jenny the night after I told you everything. I think about what I said about us not keeping secrets from each other. There's some other stuff I haven't told you about."

He looked at her. "Yeah? I too have some stuff I haven't told you about."

"You want me to go first?"

"Sure, you go first."

"Last week, Jenny called me to meet her some place in the city. It wasn't a place I've been before and it was kinda scary getting there. There was a strange party going on in there, it was kinda like a costume party. White couples and black men. The black men screwed the women while the husbands watched. I ended up getting fucked while I was there. I'm sorry I never told you about it, it slipped my mind."

"That's it? That's your secret?"

"Yeah, short and simple. What's yours?"

Howard pumped air into his mouth then let it off like a tea kettle.

"Mine's kinda complex. You remember that night we hooked up with Olu Shango at Charmaine and Lisa's apartment? That wasn't my first time being there. I didn't tell you about it because at the time I didn't know how." He stopped for a moment expecting April to say something. When she did not, he then continued. "My first time there I was with Tim, and we both got forced into suck off two black men. We never admitted it to each other but we kinda liked it. And that other time you and I were there, Charmaine introduced me to Ms. Jenn. She's been training me and other white men to be slaves."

"Where did you go last Thursday night? You told me you were at the gym, but something was off about you."

"Yeah, I had me another adventure that night . . ."

Howard narrated everything that happened at the adult shop, concluding with the dildo purchase Charmaine had procured for him. April said nothing when he was done. The moment seemed to last a long time.

"Did you like it?" she asked.

"I don't know. I guess a part of me did enjoy it and still kinda loves it. But I can stop it if you want me to; let it just be all about you instead."

"But that would be wrong. This shouldn't be just about me, Howard. I want you in this as much as I'm in it. It won't make any sense for me to continue if you're not involved. I can decide now that I don't want to do this anymore if it's going to put an end to what we have. I want this to be for us, as long as we're strong together."

"Like you said already, we can't have that life back anymore."

"As long as we're happy and we're strong."

Howard shared a kiss with her. "I love you, April McLauren."

"And I love you, too, Howard McLauren."

"Are you still up for Shango? He called me to say he's coming by later this evening so I can take him over to Becca's place."

"As long as you're there to suck his cock and clean both out pussies, I'm very much there," she said.

THE END