Dear Dairy 7

I was delivered to hospital for the delivery of the child. The pain was unbearable causing my tears to spill nonstop yet my mother and sister-in-law were happy that had me a bit confused as to why then it clicked me, they aren't happy at my pain like a bully rather they don't care, they were just too engrossed in anticipating the child to be of a male gender. I could have been sad but the joy of finally would be able to take my child in hands was so much great that the neglection of my existence seemed neglectable even to me. In a few minutes the desperate child made debut to the world of mortal with a sweet cry of an infant which made me smile warmly at the new born.

I asked for the child whom I felt in my arms moving slightly, drifting in sleep which made an unknown side of me rise to surface that was so foreign even to me "Ah… so that's the heart of a mother." as I concluded the uncharacteristically feelings stirring in me.

My mother and sister-in-law along with my husband barged in my room.

Mother-in-law asked in joyful tone "The child is our inheritor, right?"

I couldn't much pick up where she was coming from then the puzzled question started making a bit of sense and I checked "She is a girl."

As if rain in winter, everyone's faces froze as the warm temperature of their happiness went down in a drastic speed. The smiles fell down and the rosy colour of faces went pale as the news settled in. My husband went out hurriedly and the two ladies made distress faces and started bad mouthing me making it seem like I am the responsible for the child being a girl. Only if they knew the science behind it, how male is the deciding factor not the female yet women are the one to get the earful for something out of their hands. Even the so called deciding factor, male, have no say in it as the gene on the sperm which fertilizes the egg is the only factor which decides what gender the child would have.

First I had to bear such large length of pain then get scolded and getting cold shoulders for something that doesn't depend on me entirely, all of pain and suffering at the cost of some more pain and sufferings, such is the life of women.

Regardless I was happy to hold her in hands at the same time sad but for completely another reason than the so called family members from before. I was sad because she would have to go through the same that I did and the mere thought of my angel's coming dark future made my blood run cold.

I felt pity of sort emotion towards both me and my angle even though it didn't taste good but confusion is what is worst pitied by myself or by other? Though both are bad but which is worst is something I could never put a finger on.