Chapter 20

"I asked some people to install a CCTV that even in total darkness you will see the person. Since I am mad at her, I asked River to look after her using the CCTVs installed in the entire house." Master replied. "I didn't know that River will witness something that I am afraid to witness myself." He said. "Well, you see for yourself."

The silence is killing me. I don't know what they are watching, I also want to see it. I can't help but cry, I don't want my Miracle and Grandeur to grow up without me. I felt someone caress my cheeks. "Hush." I heard a gentle voice. "It'll be okay." I just cried, I don't have any words to say.

"Master, I can't say for sure what is going on with her. She needs to continue her sessions anyway." Red said.

"Red, come on, let's give them time to talk." I heard what Art says. I look at them and I saw how Red was reluctant to leave, Art only pulled and pushed him out of the room.

"Does it hurt somewhere?" Master asks full of concern in his voice. I shook my head as I try to stop my hiccups. "Then, what's wrong?" I didn't reply instead I extend my hand and hug him. He didn't ask anymore and hug me back.

"I want to see that CCTV footage." I finally said.

I saw that he flinched from what I said but I can't back down. I want to see what did I do that I don't even remember. He was hesitant but I use my eyes to plead. This is the move I always do whenever I try to ask him a favor that he didn't want to and it always makes him surrender.

"Rackie, I can't," he mumbles but it is clear to me.

"But I want to see. I want to know what I have done." I said and my eyes start to be teary once again.

He sighs. "You just need to rest." He said and was about to move away from me.

I bit my lower lip to suppress my emotions. He saw me biting my lip and look away. "If I show you, will you listen to whatever I say after?" I look at him but he's still looking away. I can't reply. "I won't ask anything that will put you to danger."

"Okay," I replied.

"Even if it's against your will, you will do it?"

"Just let me see it and I will do whatever you want me to do after!" I shout.

He sighs and gives him his phone. "Watch at your own risk." He said then said down near me.

I can't see anymore at all because it is too dark but the video suddenly shows some movement then there's a dim light that will make it see the video right. I can see myself staring blankly at the door and there is no movement at all then I stood up to go to the kitchen, roaming around as if I am looking for something then went back to where I am sitting and looked at the door again. I'm surprised by what I did when I started hurting myself to the point that I will bleed. I stop hurting myself and let myself bleed then I fell asleep. I am speechless.

"Now, since you have watched it. You have to continue to your session." He said with authority.

"No, I don't need that," I said firmly.

"But you said you will do whatever I asked you to do!"

"I don't need a psychologist anymore, Terric," I said as I tremble. "What I need is psychotherapy wherein there will be medications involved," I added. "I need to talk to a psychiatrist," I said and looked at him with determination. "I must seek help from a psychiatrist, Terric," I said as my tears fall.

"I see… then, I will ask them to find a psychiatrist for you," he said.

I shook my head. "No, you don't need to," I said. "Do you have my phone?" I ask.

"Rackie…" he called out my name and looked at me with a worried expression.

"If you don't have it, it's fine. Once you have it, open my phone and look for the name, Mr. Veracious. Call him and talk to him, if he's still reluctant of talking to you. Send the video on his email that you will find on the contact itself." I said full of determination.

"And why would I call a man for you?" he ask with a crooked forehead.

"Oh come on, Master! this is not time for your jealousy! He is a psychiatrist I've known back then. If there is someone who can beat my stubbornness, that man is the one you can trust. He will never let me go even if I'll attack him with violence." I explained. "I know myself very well, if I don't want to talk, I won't going to talk but that man will make me talk even if I don't want to. I want to make sure that I will be back to you and the twins. so you won't have to wake up and check up on me whenever I will get out of bed."

Master look at me. "Do you think that he'll talk to me if I send that video?" he asks.

"As I said, try to talk to him first and tell him the situation but if he didn't listen, then that's the time that you will send the footage so he will understand."

"You think he will change his mind after watching it?"

"I don't know if he will change his mind however, what I know is that he will not just stand still knowing that the patient needs help."

"I see. Then, I will call Mr. Strict when I have your phone."

"Terric, don't call him that. His name is Tranquil Veracious."

"Oh, sorry… I thought you have that nickname for him."

"Well, nope… I can't give him a nickname though. I do respect him so make sure you'll talk to him full of cautiousness."

"I will. Thank you for reminding me," he said.

"Who's taking care of the twins?" I ask.

"My brother took them with him, his wife Dawn wants to play with them since she's a fan of twins and wanted to have one but who knows." He replied.

"Who's brother? Remember you have two older brothers."

"Oh, sorry… Duke is taking good care of them." He replied.

"I see…" I said. "Uhm… you know, what I said back then, I didn't mean it," I said as I try not to cry again. "I wasn't thinking which led me to say all of those things."

Master comforts me through his hug and caresses my back. "It's fine now. I know you didn't mean what you said. I am sorry that I got mad at you and left you alone even though I know that you are going through many things that I won't be able to understand." He said.

"I am sorry too," I said and hugged him tightly.

"You have to rest now, your doctor said that your wound isn't deep but it's near your pulse so it is good that we aren't late, or else we'll lose you."

"To tell you the truth, I've been thinking of ending my life. If you haven't showered me with love and all I would have ended it long ago."

"Hey, don't do that again, okay?" he said as he glared at me.

"That is why I am seeking help so I could go back with you," I said then smiled at him.

He laughs. "That's my girl. We will be here and we'll wait for you. You also have to be patient with yourself." He said. "Besides, I will try to pursue Mr. Veracious for you to get better." He said. "You should rest now," he said.

"Until when will I stay here?" I ask.

"Until when your doctor says it's good to go." He replied.

"But I want to be with the twins as soon as possible. I miss them." I said.

"They miss you too but not now, not until they said it's okay for you to go out."

"But…"

"Even if I want to bring them with me, Mama won't allow it. She said they will just go to the hospital if needed and not for them to visit even if it's you," he said. "I can't say no to them, okay? My hands are tied when it comes to your family, if it's mom who said it, I can just let it go and come with them to visit you even if she'll pull my ear out," he said.

I laughed. "So they knew that you admitted me?"

"Yes, they are worried enough that they want to kill me when they found out I left you alone."

"They won't do that," I said as I chuckle.

He stares at me and frowns. "Rackie, don't you dare do that again, I don't want to be a widower." He said and wiped his tears right away.